1 Day 1

I walk through the halls, hearing the steady beat of my sneakers hitting the ground and lifting up again. My hands fidget in my sweater pockets, pulling down the raggedy piece of cloth on my back. I reach her door and hesitate before knocking once, then twice, as if it was a secret code. I walk through the classroom doors and it feels as though the atmosphere changes: the cold and unforgiving hallway that I have always tried to hide from, to a safe place. I reached a place where I can release everything that has been bottled up inside, a place where I can be free, an escape from reality.

She sits at her desk, slumped over the papers she has been grading, with her hand on her forehead as though she may fall asleep at any given moment. I take steady steps toward the first group of tables closest to me and place my bag on the left table. She looks up confused, then she realizes why I have come here. Startled, I quickly apologize, "I'm sorry, I can come back another time..ー"

"No, it's alright. What's up? Are you okay?" She murmurs with a stressed out sigh.

"No, really, I don't want to bother you."

"Are you okay?" She repeats one more time, but this time, looking at me and realizing how distressed I look. She stares at me for another solid second until I respond to her question.

"Not really?" I give a confused expression, noticing this, I change back into a straight face.

"Why?" She looks at me with concern and care in her eyes.

"I'm just a bit lost, that's it…"

"About what?" As she asks this, I think about all the possibilities it could be about. But I know what I don't really understand, myself.

"Who am I?" I ask steadily, "I know I should change, but I need to know who I am before changing right? Because too little change is bad, and too much change is worse."