The Daily Life of God

The sun had barely risen when I, God, awoke from my sleep—yes, gods need sleep too, though you wouldn't expect it. I stretched my arms, yawned, and casually dismissed a celestial storm that was brewing in the distance. No need to make a scene before breakfast.

My "home," if you could call it that, is not exactly a typical living space. There's no quaint cottage or sprawling mansion, no fancy towers or clouds to lounge on. I reside in the Infinite Void—a place where the rules of physics, time, and space are, well... optional. I can create worlds out of thin air, and I can make them disappear just as quickly. I usually prefer simplicity, though, so the Void is perfect. No distractions. Just me and my thoughts. And the occasional existential crisis.

I floated out of bed (or more accurately, I was the bed), snapping my fingers to summon my morning coffee. It arrived in an instant—perfectly brewed, of course. Being a god has its perks. For most people, a cup of coffee is a routine, a morning ritual. For me, it's just another item on my never-ending to-do list. I'm still figuring out how to make mornings feel special. But, then again, being omnipotent kind of ruins that whole "mystery" thing.

The next order of business was checking in on my creations. A quick glance at the Earth—now, that's where the fun begins. I tapped a few buttons on my divine smartphone (yes, I have one; don't ask) and checked the news feed. Humanity was doing... fine, I guess. Nothing too catastrophic yet. A few world leaders arguing over who's the best at being a hypocrite, and a couple of new reality TV shows. Nothing new.

Then, of course, there's the whole issue of the other gods. They never seem to get the hang of "personal space." And I'm not just talking about the annoying ones who try to challenge my power. That's pretty standard. No, I'm referring to the ones who are too friendly. They text me all the time—"Hey, I made a new galaxy!" "Guess what, I turned a black hole into a disco ball!" "Wanna have a celestial brunch?"

I sighed, flipping through the texts of these overly enthusiastic deities. Most of them were just a string of emojis. I didn't even know they knew what emojis were. It seems like being a god means never really being left alone, even in the Infinite Void. I've tried blocking them, but, you know, cosmic forces are persistent.

After a couple of unnecessary replies—"Cool, buddy, cool" and "Yeah, I'll come to the brunch, I guess"—I decided it was time for some actual godly duties. I like to keep busy, so I summoned a few mythical creatures to roam the Earth. A dragon here, a griffin there. It's nice to keep things interesting. They'll show up in a few hours, ready to wreak a little havoc and spice up the mundane human life.

A knock on the Void's door interrupted my thoughts.

Wait, what? I don't even have a door.

I frowned and glanced around. The knock came again, this time louder.

I blinked. Was this a prank from one of the other gods? If so, they were getting a bit too creative for my liking. But when the knock came a third time, I felt a slight shift in the atmosphere—something unfamiliar.

I materialized a door just to investigate. It swung open.

Standing in the doorway was a tiny creature—smaller than a grain of rice, with bright blue wings and an innocent smile. It looked a little like a fairy, but not quite. Its wings fluttered rapidly, and it hovered in the air with an uncomfortably bright aura.

It spoke. "Excuse me, sir...?"

I stared at it. I'm used to the occasional mortal or divine being showing up unannounced, but this was... new.

"Uh, yes?" I responded, trying to suppress a chuckle at its ridiculously serious tone.

The creature flapped its wings in what seemed like a grand gesture and cleared its throat. "I've come to inform you that your existence is... well, a little bit too... boring, if you don't mind me saying so. You're supposed to be all powerful and eternal, but all you seem to do is sip coffee and check on Earth. The universe is vast, sir. Surely, you can do something more exciting."

I blinked, my coffee cup frozen in mid-air. Did this tiny winged being just diss me?

"Excuse me?" I said, narrowing my eyes. "I am God. You're—what—some sort of cosmic critic? Just a small fairy here to tell me my life's a drag?"

The creature puffed out its chest and nodded. "Exactly! You've got all this power, but you're doing nothing with it! You should, I don't know, create a challenge or something. Maybe a cosmic game show? Or a reality competition where you decide who gets to rule over the galaxies. There are so many options!"

I stared at the fairy for a long moment. It had no idea who it was talking to.

Then, slowly, I smirked. Maybe this little creature had a point. Maybe I could use a little chaos. After all, even gods need a little entertainment.

I snapped my fingers. "Alright then. Challenge accepted."

The fairy's eyes went wide as it hovered in the air, waiting for something to happen.

I grinned. "Let's see how bored the universe really gets."

With that, I began to create the most ridiculous contest ever known in all of existence—a game that would put everything to the test. A game that would involve the most unlikely of contestants, ranging from ambitious mortals to meddlesome immortals, each unaware of the bizarre rules they were about to face.

After all, I was God. And if there was one thing I knew, it was that boredom wasn't something I'd be dealing with for long.

The tiny fairy disappeared into the ether with a satisfied smile, unaware of the whirlwind I was about to unleash. And with that, I began the first truly ridiculous chapter of my eternal, godly existence.