Stepping Out of Darkness

Elle never did break her pose and break down that night.

The tears were still held within her heart, slamming against the steel walls she had made around her heart but even walls of titanium could not keep those tears from flooding to the outside.

She was safe for now…the present trial will numb her for a while yet…

/Not yet....I can't break yet.../

But then…what to do after this? She shuddered to think of the future…

And that is why she was here…hiding like a criminal…a fugitive from society…in this clinic…

But this was what she wanted. Anonymity. No way for anybody to trace it back to her. That was the reason why she was in this rat-infested, health code violating hellhole.

She couldn't risk going to a formal hospital to perform the necessary procedure. Not on her life.

She was just an attorney but she was also a public figure that previously appeared on front page news and consulted on talk shows, she had a reputation to protect.

Only after much research and web surfing did she find a clinic that took cash only and did not ask many questions or kept detailed records of all the patients that came through the doors.

Nobody will know what she did. It'll all be over, once and for all. She can go back to being "Elsa the Ice Queen" and re-enter the courtroom like nothing ever happened.

Elle, who never showed a moment of weakness or indecisiveness, was hiding like a wounded animal trying to fix her mistake.

It made her angry that Jake did this to her but perhaps this was destiny. She had already chosen her fate, godd*mn it, and she was too d*mn tired to go through the ambivalent turmoil again.

/Elle Chen, this is it! No more wavering! You need to fix this and get back to your normal life!/

"No, Mike, you told me that you loved me. It was never just a game for me!" screamed Raina, sobs wracking her thin body.

She hung onto Mike's leg for dear life; hanging on to the only man she had ever loved in her entire life.

\At least I didn't resort to such pathetic means to keep Jake\

Elle felt sympathetic towards the poor, ignorant girl and finally realized that there was only one reason for all this indecisiveness: she could not do the horrendous deed herself.

Here was a girl that was willing to give up the love of her life to keep her baby safe. And Elle didn't even have that problem, since Jake was already long gone.

It seemed like the little tiny life, barely visible on an ultrasound, had already taken root in her icy heart.

Clenching her fists, she walked to the receptionist and grabbed her application and completed forms from her desk.

"Miss, Miss, what are you doing?!" shrieked the woman, her clawlike hands trying to snatch away the papers.

"Finishing what I never should have started," replied Elle coldly, continuing to rip the papers into halves, fourths, eighths, and so on.

She turned around, tossing the paper shreds casually into the air, diverting the attention from Raina and Mike onto her. Looks of confusion at the crazy lady, and then slightly fear.

"You should be ashamed of yourself, you a**hole," muttered Elle as she bestowed a direct hit to Mike's family jewels, making him crumple into a heap on the clinic's lime green carpeted floor.

A tirade of curses emitted from his mouth as he clutched onto his injured body part, rolling back and forth onto the ground. His face was turning shades of red then white then green....

"Mike!" exclaimed Raina, frantically checking to make sure that he was okay.

He pushed her away as he gasped painfully but she was undeterred, "Let me see if it's okay!"

She started pulling at his pants and zipper in a public place in broad daylight....

A perfectly manicured hand suddenly grabbed her arm and pulled her upright, away from Mike who was scrambling away in embarassment and humiliation.

Turning around, she gasped at the owner of the hand.

"Raina, right?"

Raina nodded, bewildered by the woman in front of her. It was also extraordinary because she felt absolutely no fear of her, even though this lady had just nearly made Mike unable to procreate anymore.

Other people looked at this violent woman as crazy but there was something in her face.

A feeling of understanding that emanated from her, even though her sunglasses concealed her eyes.

"Yea-ye-yeah?"

"You deserve much better. Believe me," said Elle. "Better than whatever this a**hole can give you."

With that piece of wisdom, she turned around and opened the door, stepping out of the darkness of the abortion clinic, and back into the sunlight.