Chapter 32

Dylan was standing by his car when she pulled up. "Hey! Thanks for waiting. Want to come in for bit?" Pearl asked. Dylan smiled. "Yes ma'am." And he followed her to her apartment.

Pearl offered Dylan a beer which he gladly accepted.

"So what's this gift? I was excited the whole drive."

Pearl said clapping her hands. Dylan handed her a book. When she looked closer, she saw it was a journal, with beautiful leather filigree detailing. She opened it and on the back of the cover were the words "I'm no good at saying how I feel, so I'm giving you the words in writing that I wish I could say out loud. This is to remind you that no matter what happens, you are worthy of what you seek. You are special and wanted. And you are perfect, just as you are."

Pearl felt her heart pounding. She started to read through the journal and realized it was a collection of his thoughts, poems, verses, feelings over the last several months about her.

"I left your apartment that night after seeing you hurting so badly. I wanted to wrap you in my arms and hold you, not just until you fell asleep, but until you never allowed yourself to feel that way again. I wanted to take away your pain" he wrote. "Seeing you on the sidewalk, you heart in a million pieces, I wanted to be the one to pick them up and hold you tight enough so that all the pieces would come back together and make you whole again " one dated back to their first gig as a band.

"At the show tonight, you were so beautiful and alive. I watched your body, it was almost on fire. Every movement you made, pure raw sex and energy. The men in the room reacted to it. But I see so much more. You are something out of Dionysian myth. You are what men have destroyed countries for. This is what a woman is"

And the last entry. "I finally know what the poets tried to explain for centuries but never could. Because you can't put this into words. This real thing. It's tangible yet mythical. It's all consuming. You can't describe it. You can only feel it. And when you do, I only pray it's a fraction of what I feel for her."

Pearl looked up at Dylan. His shyness was gone. Before her stood a man, looking her directly in the eyes and not wavering one bit. Gone was the guy that seemed aloof and looked like he didn't care about himself. He was standing in her kitchen, with confidence, looking like a man that would burn cities for her. She was intimidated by his mind already and this was something even more.

"This is....this is...beautiful, Dylan. I had no idea the depth of...you. And your feelings. I'm a bit...overwhelmed..." Pearl fought to form sentences. He walked over to her and took the book from her hands and put it on the counter. He bent down and cupped her face in his hands. He looked her directly in the eyes. "She is the muse. She moves around us all without knowing or caring what she does to the hearts and souls of men. But we love her. I love her. From the very first moment I saw her, I loved her." And he gently put his lips to hers. He pulled away and looked directly into her eyes. "I'm glad you like it, Pearl." And he thanked her for the beer and left.

"Holy shit" Pearl said aloud. And exhaled. That was intense. Really intense. That threw a wrench into her entire world and she didn't know now what to think. Would she and Dylan still be able to keep their friendship? Was she having more serious feelings for him? Is that why she needed space from David? And Rhys would be in town tomorrow. Where was that heading? She knew what she had to do.

"Hello?" A voice on the other line answered.

"Hey Janie, it's Pearl. I need a friend. I need some sound advice. Do you have time to talk?"

"Of course. What's up?" And Pearl unloaded it all. All of it. Even the details she was embarrassed about.

There was silence for a moment. "Wow Pearl. You've had quite a couple of weeks. First thing I'm going to tell you is you need to get tested. You had unprotected sex with two men. One is a celebrity for God's sake! Who knows how many people he's slept with?? But man, how hot is he? Am I right? You're one lucky gal, I'll say that" Janie said. "Try to stay on task here!" Pearl was not joking around. She really needed advice. "Ok ok! I'm trying! It's just that this is a lot for someone like me to process. I've been married to the same guy since college and it's past my bedtime on a Wednesday." Janie continued "my honest opinion is that you're going to have to take your time to figure this all out. And there's no time constraint on that. I will say it's going to be difficult with David. That's the most complex of the three. You're not going to trust him completely. Not for awhile. Especially the thing with his dad. And Dylan. You know I consider him a friend, too. Not a close one, really but a friend nonetheless. He's always been a little distant. He's been hurt too. He's a good person. A really sensitive person. Be honest with him at ALL TIMES. No matter what. I really think that as far as potential forever is concerned, David would offer security. Lots of it. The whole package. Dylan is not as successful. But it sounds like he cares deeply about you. As far as Rhys goes...have fun girl! He's fun. He's exciting. But I don't think there's a future there. I've been wrong before but he seems way to good to be true. Are you wanting to think about these guys in the "forever"'sense?" Janie asked.

"I don't know. I don't know anything right now. I'm so overwhelmed." Pearl replied, sounding just as disheartened as she felt. "Breathe girl. Take you time. Enjoy the attention and live a little. You'll figure it out. I promise. I know you. Im here whenever you need to talk, ok?" Janie said.

Pearl thanked her and they hung up. She got ready for bed and checked her phone. She thought for sure she'd hear from Rhys today. Maybe one of them would cancel themselves out of her life without any decision on her part.