Chapter 13

Andrei and I walked in silence through the courtyard, it was minutes to curfew but because I was with a guardian no one stopped to question us. I knew what Micah's reasoning was behind the timing, he didn't want any students accidentally spotting me coming out of the guardians' quarters so he set up the meeting time just so that there's be no speculation. I smiled at the fact that he didn't want any more rumors surrounding me, or was it because most of the students believe that Declan is staying in the Guardian quarters and he didn't want any more rumors surrounding the two of us. Either way I couldn't really fault him on one or both of those scenarios, whichever one was the truth.

As the rendezvous point came into view my palms became sweaty and my heart started to race uncontrollably. Andrei seemed antsy as well, though I couldn't really fathom why. I looked up at him questioningly and he stopped walking obviously contemplating if he should tell me whatever had him on high alert.

We were out in the open just staring at each other, when I finally decided that maybe if I actually asked the question it wouldn't be so hard for him to give me an answer. I sucked in a breath, but Andrei held a finger up motioning for me to follow him.

I didn't like the fact that we were taking a detour, but my curiosity was getting the better of me. Whatever Andrei was about to say had to be of some importance or he wouldn't have wrestled with himself to not say anything.

When we were safely behind the cover of a tree and Andrei was convinced that no one was around, he turned to me.

"Micah has confided in me about your relationship. Don't worry he's only told me as much as he was comfortable divulging, though I feel like I have to warn you Lily. Be careful what you say about Micah around Declan, be careful how you and Micah act around each other in Declan's presence."

I was shocked and confused. Declan didn't have any power over my relationships and I really doubted he would run to my father if he were to find out. Seeing my confusion Andrei sighed, I was fairly certain he thought I would get the message without him having to actually spell it out for me.

His message was cryptic though and could mean a whole lot of different things and it's almost like he had suddenly noticed that as well. He bent down slightly so I'd clearly hear his low whisper.

"Declan has your father's ear."

A sliver of fear ran through my body at that. I knew the implications of what I had just heard and nodded at Andrei accordingly so he knew I understood. I didn't have the mental capacity to ponder upon more than one issue at a time, so this was going to have to wait until the Micah issue had been dealt with. Honestly that was actually the only problem I cared to fix right now. Everything else could wait, but Micah and I couldn't.

If we'd not been busted for our Atlantic City outing, I would have had the talk with Micah that I had planned and we wouldn't be in this position in the first place. Funny how nothing actually ever works out the way you planned, especially when the universe makes other plans and doesn't bother letting you in on them.

Andrei and I had just entered the guardians' quarters when my sweaty palms returned and my heart betrayed me again by beating hard against my sternum. I knew it would be audible to Andrei's highly trained ears, especially since I can hear it thumping in my own. Looking up at him I could see he was trying to hide a smile, which earned him an elbow to the ribs – well it was supposed to hit the ribs, but because I was so short I made contact with his hip and it actually stung my elbow just a bit. I faked agony and rubbed my elbow, which caused both of us to start laughing. I really could see Andrei and me be friends long after his duty guarding me had ended.

Softly chuckling we found ourselves in front of Micah's door and Andrei nudged me forward when I stopped in my tracks. Micah was expecting me so I didn't bother knocking, which in hindsight might not have been that good of an idea. He spun around when he heard the door and I managed to make it a couple of steps into his room before Andrei closed the door behind me and I finally had the courage to look up.

My eyes widened at the sight of him. He'd just gotten out of the shower, hair still wet. Little droplets of water running down his exposed torso and disappearing into the waistband of his grey sweatpants.

It oddly reminded me of the day he had taken over my private class with my grandmother, but unlike that day – he didn't even attempt to grab a shirt. Honestly I wasn't really dressed much better, I was wearing black sweatpants and a white tank top. I was freezing on my way here, but it wasn't that bad – it's never really that cold while it's snowing, the cold usually follows after the snow stops falling.

If I wasn't so good at lying to myself I would have admitted that I'd actually forgotten to take a jacket in my haste to get to Micah. His room was nice and warm though, getting hotter by the second as we stared at each other.

"I've got only one question for you and how you answer will go a long way in determining if there's still hope for us."

He paused and I nodded, urging him to continue. I didn't speak as I didn't trust my voice or my brain to be capable of stringing together a coherent sentence. He walked towards me and I unconsciously backtracked until I felt the door against my back and he smiled knowing he had me cornered.

"The rumors I heard today, the ones that made me re-evaluate, are they true?"

He paused again – stopping two steps from me, this time I knew I had to give him an audible answer. I didn't think about my answer at all and I wasn't even fifty percent certain that he was talking about the rumors I had started, but as soon as I voiced the answer in my head, I knew it was the right one.

"Yes"

I whispered.

As fast as I'd ever seen anyone move, Micah was standing right in front of me. So close I could feel his breath on my skin, but it was different though – more intense as he gripped my jaw with his one hand. That action alone making my skin tingle. He reached past me and secured the lock. I swallowed audibly at the click and before I could make any sort of sound his lips were on mine, hungrily.

Again it was different than before, there was no anticipation – instead my skin pricked with little bursts of electricity. Micah secured both my hands above my head in one of his, the other still gripping my jaw which he turned slightly so he could trail kisses down my neck. I was still a sixteen year old girl and the action made my breath hitch in my throat.

While Micah was reserved in touching me a mere week ago, he now held no such reservations as he let go of my hands only to pull my tank top over my head. He took in the overtly lacy white bra I was wearing underneath and a sound resembling a growl emanated from his chest. It resonated deep within my soul and for the seconds it took his lips to meet mine again the world retreated to background noise at best.

I was at his mercy, completely. He was clearly running this show and I knew whatever happened from here on would be in his very capable hands. I was ready to be consumed by these flames burning between us. In that moment there wasn't a six year age gap between us, I wasn't a novice and he wasn't a guardian. We were but two people who trusted each other deeply enough to be completely vulnerable. So why didn't you tell him the truth about Declan then.

Micah had been trailing kisses down my neck, over my collarbone, moving all the way down my stomach and came to an abrupt stop when he met the elastic waistband of my sweatpants. He was kneeling in front of me, his hands firmly on my hips.

He looked at me hesitantly as he looped his thumbs underneath the elastic. I knew he was waiting for me to protest and when I didn't he discarded my sweats.

He started at the inside of my knee, trailing kisses up my inner thigh and when his nose skimmed my underwear I went completely rigid, because it was in that moment that my mind chose to remind me that I hadn't been completely honest with Micah about Declan. The truth is that I wasn't completely ready to be vulnerable with him, if I had been ready I would have come clean about Declan. I wouldn't have used the excuse that it wasn't my place to tell, because I knew he would keep my confidence. So why couldn't I just tell him, what was keeping me from baring my heart and soul to this guy?

Micah froze as soon as I went rigid and when he looked up at me I buried my face in my hands, too embarrassed to even look at him. He was standing instantly, trying to pry my hands from my face and all the while I was apologizing profusely.

"Hey, no. You have nothing to apologize for."

He whispered, disbelief thick in his voice at my apologies. He managed to eventually pull my hands away and gently nudged my face upwards with his forefinger under my chin, the oceans in his eyes crashing over mine. No trace of disappointment to be found anywhere in them or on his face. I knew his next words would be honest, I could almost hear them already.

"Listen"

He said sweetly, allowing all his emotions to shine through his big blue eyes alone.

"Let me give you a little life lesson, right her and now. Consent can be taken back at any time and you should know that. Don't apologize, you didn't do anything wrong. If you're not ready, you say no. If you're uncomfortable, you say no. I do something you don't like, you say no. You say no, I stop. It's as easy as that. You want to wait then we wait, there's no rush."

It made it all the more incomprehensible why I couldn't find the courage to just tell him the whole truth. In that moment I wanted to blurt out everything, even if it wasn't mine to tell, but I just couldn't. I didn't know why that was, Micah was perfect in every way and I did have deeply rooted feelings for him. I couldn't for certain say that it was love as I'd never experienced it before, but I knew it could grow into that given some time. My heart swelled at his words and only once he softly brushed his thumb across my cheek did I realize a traitorous tear had escaped my eye.