Short thoughts that were but weren't

I Sir Wallomn Headsteady, solemnly swear an oath of sincere and earnest concern regarding the state of the Campbell manor on the northernmost isle of Ireland. 

It is to this decree that I send you, Mister Willsberry to investigate the ongoings at campbell manor and report most hastily, the state of said manor with no transgressional misgivings.

Make haste now mister Willsberry, it is in the interest of the state to vacate the Campbell premises and therefore you will be given the highest authority during your search.

Go with god mister Willsberry and may his fortune shine upon you.

Yours truly – Sir Headsteady

Such an awkward request is nothing if not normal for a man such as myself, I James Willsberry is supposed to be the foremost investigatory force within the Derrich & Co investigatory bureau, however I am but a cover boy. 

This does not change the fact that I am still given tasks such as this to complete to uphold the image if the bureau, but I am no 'foremost' investigator such as this Sir Headsteady thought when he hired me. 

But hired me he did and such I am to investigate.

It does seem like a fairly simple job, but god knows that the pay as well as the high position of this Sir Headsteady gives me a feeling of dread.

If it's just a preliminary search and a premises to vacate then why would Headsteady the chief secretary of Ireland and the viceroy of northern Ireland, give me this job. Not only that but the pay was ridiculous, it was too high for normal job such as the description gave me.

But no matter, as I am here now.

I am in front of the aged and decrepit Campbell manor, it's glory days past it as it now lay in waste. Forgotten from history most likely at the hand of the Scottish government after Glencoe labeled and destroyed the image of the Scottish clan, not only in Scotland but also in Ireland. 

Now the only proof of the Campbell might on Ireland is this decrepit and deteriorating house, a folly to the might of the Campbells as well as testament to power they once had. Now nothing but a crumbling monument, soon to be gone due to government agency and ignorance. A sad thought to be sure, but if this is to be kept quiet I understand now the pay and the urgency which Headsteady exuded through his writings.

I walk towards the unhinged door laying front forward as its bleak and rotten exterior permeates a stench indescribable by simple words. The glue-like substance covering it head to toe with a subtle but perturbing sense of danger. 'I should not be here' was what all my senses were telling me, my mind empty with no other thought but to run away. I walked towards the door, my body moving on it's own. I decried the movement of my body, but the intrigue of the substance destroyed any past thought I might have had to run away, I was in complete control of my body again.

As I moved towards the substance on the door reaching out to touch it I heard laughter coming from the serf living quarters near the southeast most part of the premises, I watched, but nothing was there. Just as I was about to go back to my investigation of the door, the sound rang out again. But this time I saw a child near the surf house.

As I approached her, the child whom was only wearing rags over her skinny body stared at me with her hollow and lifeless eyes.

"Why are you here?" she told me, with icy voice of a banshee and the anger of a Morrigan. The fear which her voice filled me with was begrudging and caused my mortal coil to shiver. 

"Is it to see me? Or are the ancient ones ready?" This line of questioning caught me off guard, my mind did not know what to think, I was in a daze at the question this seemingly normal child had given me. It was a confusing few seconds of what felt like it was eternity before this girl continued with her dialog.

"Then it does not know, what is about begin and it's place in this world that lead it here?" At the moment she said that darkness approached, it was coming from my mind and it could not be stopped. Everything and nothing happened as I was left there standing, flabbergasted at what had just happened. She was not there anymore and as I turned around to resume my investigation. The door was now up on it's hinges, rusted as the may be, but as clean as if there was no substance on it to begin with.

I walked to the porch and entered the Campbell manor, terrifying as it may be, it is my job to investigate and vacate the premises. The child had after all showed me that the presence of humans living on the premises is a possibility and that I should therefore continue with my work. Too bad that I lost my line of thought just as I was done questioning that girl over why she's here, weirdly enough I don't seem to actually remember her answers. But I think they were good answers for me to have let her go.

Inside the house I see it pristine condition, as though the deteriorating house I walked into is nowhere to be seen. It is strange to be sure, but nothing out of the ordinary if there actually is someone living here.

I walk towards the abandoned cellar, as sure as I have ever been that there is something to be found there. I feel it, in my bones in my soul, I can feel it. Beating, pumping like it my own heart telling me to go there, an itch in the back of my skull creeping forth into my head.

I find it beautiful, the glamorous frame of the cellar the absolutely charming exterior that it has and the scrape in the back of my head that I can't get rid of. I love all of it.

I move, but my body won't, I don't understand why I can't get to what I want, I want it , I want it, I want it now. Please let me move, I want to go there please, I just want it. No do you really? What? Yes I want it , why? Because it beautiful. Is it really beautiful? Look around.

I look around and I see a horribly deteriorating house falling asunder around me, why am I here? I think this to myself and the need subsides. I have no clue why I am here, I should run.

I look for exit, for the door I came through, but I am in the cellar. Surrounded by moss and leaves I am here alone wondering how I got here and what happened to the door.

As soon as I think this the pain, the itch starts again and the tender, small hand of a little girl reaches around my throat.

I understand now I am his prey, the great one, the ancient one. It is an honor to become a part of him, to be his vice and give him the joy of tearing me apart.

I sit down on the cold stone marbled floor with a drawn symbol on it, the symbol impossible to describe changes and shifts, in it's writing as well as it's feeling. I can feel myself in it, I feel it all in it, I feel Headsteady, mister Derrich, the campbells and all of creation within this symbol. I know what it is to see the face of god, for I now know him in hearts of hearts, he is him and it is happy to be a sacrifice to his elder might.

From him I see it, as I peer at the horizon through the immaterial walls of time and space I perceive his arrival, in eternal bliss I cry tears as my eyes melt into my sockets and I become one of his servants. My limbs replaced with thousandfold of protruding glue-like arms, all moving through each other in unison as they celebrate his arrival to our world. Millions of orifices and their according eyes shall peer at his glory through my many claws and teeth. I know what his warmth entails and I know his servants are glory. I felt it for a second he knew of my existence , just for a moment he saw that I existed and he delivered me his eternal glory. My existence is now fulfilled. I gaze at his glory, though I may only have seen a trillionth of his might I could feel the infinite eyes and uncountable arms caressed and watch me, though it may have been for a second. I saw god with my own eyes and god saw me too.

I know now what it is to feel joy in his embrace, I hope only that the rest of mankind will feel this joy as well in due time and that his glory shall walk the earth as he once did when he slayed the creator.

This shall however be my end, as I shall join my master in immaterial and cease to exist in this pain which is the mortal coil and join his empire in heaven, Hail to the lord for all shall be one.