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CHAPTER THREE:

It was only when he appeared outside the gates to the school grounds that it truly hit him that he was back in time. As soon as he saw the undamaged fields and the unharmed castle in the background he sank to the ground, other images flashing before his eyes. Hermione bleeding to death near the lake; dead students' lifeless eyes; the burning East Wing; Voldemort's grin as he cast the death blow that had somehow sent him back in time instead of killing him…

It was only when he was shaken violently that he snapped back to the present and realized that Snape had crouched down before him and taken him by the shoulders. Before the scowling man could say anything Harry grabbed him by the shoulders in turn, his eyes haunted.

"Please tell me they're alive," he begged his former professor. "Please tell me that I'm really in the past and that they're all alive," Harry said, his voice breaking as Ron's lifeless face flashed before his eyes. He didn't know the man well enough to tell, but he could have sworn that Snape looked concerned.

"The only recent death was that of Cedric Diggory," Snape replied, his dark eyes grounding Harry to the current reality. "The revels have not begun yet, so neither wizards nor Muggles have died recently."

"Thank God," Harry sobbed, tipping his head back to face the sky, tears spilling over and running down his cheeks. "I won't fail you again," he whispered brokenly, remembering all the people that had died because of him. "I'm so sorry," he choked out between sobs, lowering his head and covering his face with his hands. "So, so sorry…" He didn't know how long he spent huddled that way, sobbing into his hands, but the firm warmth of Snape's hands never left his shoulders, and for that he was more thankful than he could say.

When he had calmed down somewhat he dropped his hands from his face, took a deep breath and cast a weak cleaning charm at his face before opening his eyes and meeting the gaze of his former professor. "Sorry," he croaked, and Snape simply held his gaze.

"I assume that the future did not run as you told the Dark Lord," he said eventually, and Harry smiled grimly.

"Not at all," he said, and his voice sounded rusty even to himself. "In fact, he was actually trying to kill me when he somehow sent me back in time." He closed his eyes and forced out the next words. "It was a last stand. Here, at Hogwarts. We had sworn that we would protect the students." Impossibly, he felt tears welling up once more, and he opened his eyes and looked to the sky to stop the tears. "We failed."

Silence enveloped them once more, and it was somehow a comforting silence. Eventually Harry found his voice and continued, his eyes still on the sky. "It was a great loss when we lost you, sir." He paused, recalling how they had discovered the Potions Master in the dungeons of Malfoy Manor, tortured until he was nearly unrecognizable. "I was unable to kill Lestrange then," Harry said, gritting his teeth. "Mrs. Weasley got her, but the entire Weasley family except for Ron perished in the resulting explosion." His eyes burning, he met the unsettled gaze of the man before him. "I got Malfoy now, though," he said with vicious triumph. "He deserved worse, but I didn't think I could live with myself if I raped him to death as he did to Susan." Snape flinched, and Harry smiled grimly. "Sorry. I'll try to leave the past where it belongs. It helps neither of us to go over events that won't happen now." Rising, he waited until Snape had risen again before extending a hand to him.

"It is good to see you again, sir," he said honestly, his eyes wandering over the man's face and taking in the details. It had been a year since the spy's death, but even so Harry realized that this younger version of Snape had not yet acquired the grey hair and lines that the second war had given him. Looking at him now and knowing how much both wars had taken out of the man had Harry vowing silently that he would do everything he could to change things this time around. It had only been after Dumbledore's death that he had found out what a formidable person Snape really was, and while it had been too late to forge a friendship they had both gained a lot of respect for the other. They had been the leaders of the Order after Dumbledore's death, and they had learned to work together. Of course, this Snape hadn't experienced what Harry had, and all he knew was the Golden Boy whom he hated with a passion.

"I realize that you have not experienced what I have," Harry said calmly, "and you do not know me as I truly am. All I ask is that you treat me as a separate person from Gryffindor Harry, for the things I said to Snake Face were perfectly true – Dumbledore did keep me drugged and spellbound, and the Harry you know is what Dumbledore wants him to be. Harry is not James Potter; it is Dumbledore's influence that makes him appear that way." Meeting the dark gaze earnestly, Harry added, "He has a few compulsion spells on you, too, as well as a persuasion charm to keep you from questioning him."

The dark eyes flashed. "And you know this how?" Snape bit out. Harry noted that the man had yet to remove his hand from his hold.

"Madam Pomfrey checked us all," Harry replied. "After Dumbledore died several of us noticed marked changes in our own behavior, and as Madam Pomfrey was the first to notice she insisted on checking all the teachers, students and Order members for spells. I had the most, closely followed by you, Madam Pomfrey, Professor McGonagall and Remus, then Ron and Hermione, and an assortment of spells and potions used on various teachers and Order members. I don't care to think about how he managed to keep up so many spells for so many years. From Madam Pomfrey's scans it appeared as though you and Remus were exposed to the spells for far longer – even going as far back as your own time as Hogwarts students." Harry watched his companion closely for a reaction, and he caught it when a flicker of strong emotion crossed the dark eyes. Holding that gaze, he said softly, "There were traces of a love potion in your system as well."

A pause as Snape assimilated that information, then a shuttered expression came over the man's face and he ripped his hand from Harry's grasp. Turning away, Snape strode up the path to Hogwarts, leaving Harry standing alone by the gates with a regretful expression on his face. When his time's Snape had found out about the spells and love potion he had shut himself away from the world for a week, and it had been over a year later that Harry had found out that the love potion had been keyed to Lily Evans, and that Snape's love for Lily had been the reason that he had turned to Dumbledore and ended up as the Order's spy. Dumbledore has a lot to answer for, Harry thought grimly, wondering who would be the one to kill him this time around.

Slowly Harry made his way up the path to Hogwarts, each step a struggle now that exhaustion had kicked in. He hoped his luck wouldn't run out just yet and that he'd make it to the Room of Requirement without running into anyone, and hopefully he'd have enough energy to pen Snape a note before succumbing to exhaustion. He felt like he could sleep for a week, then spend a day in the shower before eating a whole cow. Life had not been easy in the future.

A/N: I'm not sure yet where this is going, but Severus will definitely play a huge part. I do think this will end up as slash (in the previous future Harry was together with a woman, but she's reserved, in a way, for this time's Harry – confusing, no?) with the obvious pairing being Harry/Severus. There are few people in the new timeline that will be able to understand Harry, since he'll do everything he can to prevent the atrocities that he's seen. Ron and Hermione, certainly, won't understand the future Harry, but Severus will. It'll take a while for that to develop, though, so even if you don't like slash fiction, don't feel deterred!