Can't abandon her.

(Day 30, Shushin wedding.)

In the book two days ago, I only found a few pages there, but I did not have time to read, so I took the book out to read a page before the servants came to prepare me. I opened the book and read out loud, in which it was written, "A few thousand years ago, there existed an incredibly powerful princess. She controlled every shadow in her memory, even if it was from another planet. She was talented and beautiful. She was the cousin of Xiu Jing, the Great Phoenix, but... They were considered as siblings. She was called Goddess of The moon and Shadow. It is more confident to be in the sun, but she did not need it. Even the moonlight is not important, in a dark room it can swallow you completely. She used to take people's shadows and control their souls. She was talented in using magic and was feared by others. The meaning of not living without a shadow is living without your soul. She is able to move you like a toy. She was a lucky woman, but unreliable. " I snorted and my smile disappeared at the end of the lines. "What is this nonsense? Shit."

I was sleeping on my stomach and eating some crackers. Then I turned the page and continued, "She was proud of her strength, and she descended to earth without telling the sky. She descended and began to compete with the people of the cities, and completely defeated their boasting and pride. She made them bet on the most precious thing they owned, while they did not know who she was." So they began to bet on their dragons and the phoenixes who owned, without knowing, what monster she was under the moon. She took their pledge and enjoyed the riches of the luxurious and fortunate cities, and at the end of her journey she met them, and placed on them a magic seal, or a curse, as the people said, "Your souls are mine, when I die. You will die, and when you are reborn, fate will bring us together." At first none of them liked being a slave at her feet. But they were attracted to the free spirit she was, and they began to love traveling together. It was mentioned that she collected 4 phoenixes, 5 dragons, "

I got up and sat upright, my eyes wide, "What? Who got the extra 2??? Isn't it enough that that foolish man idolizes her so much that his view is different from the truth? I felt affected by his story, but reading this...why do she look like arrogant trash?"

The door suddenly opened, and I threw the book into the air and it turned into golden ashes. It is a good thing that my skill is still good because I knew how to hide it even though I threw it away... The maid bowed, "Your Majesty, the fairies have come."

I got out of bed and cleared my throat, "What fairies?"

Two cute girls, dressed in red, entered, and one of them shouted anxiously, "What is this? Why are you wearing black?"

I took a few steps back in surprise, "What's wrong with you?"

The other girl bowed politely, "Excuse her, Your Majesty. You only have to wear red until five days before your wedding."

I put my hair back behind me, "I didn't know. No one told me." The maid bowed and left the room. The first girl spoke again, in a loud and annoying voice, "How? Didn't your mother tell you?"

I was looking at the ground, and a laugh escaped the sides of my lips, "Oh.."

The polite girl's eyes widened when she heard the other's words, "Momo! Where are your manners!" Momo looked at her in confusion, she had never seen her sister so nervous before.

Her eyes widened even more as her sister knelt down, "Forgive me, Your Majesty, my sister is stupid and ignorant."

I looked at Momo out of the corner of my eye, and she was kneeling too. I sighed and put my hand on my neck, "Stand up. Don't let others think I'm bullying you because you're from another clan."

Then I started walking towards a seat so they could put on my makeup. "Let's finish early."

They approached me and started to change my clothes first. They also said that I should get dressed first. After they finished, the door opened, and the woman who made me waste 28 days of my life in bed entered.

I rolled my eyes, while the girls bowed, "Hello, Saint Xiu."

She told them in a calm voice, "Get out."

They looked at each other, "What? We didn't finish the makeup."

She looked at them again. "I said, 'Get out,'" she said.

The girls trembled in fear and quickly left. The girl named Momo whispered, "I thought I was going to die, these two in one day...so terrifying."

I sighed while fiddling with things on the table, "Why are you coming? You are not welcome at all, you know."

She tilted her head to the right, then walked towards me, and pulled my hand, while I looked at her in confusion and anxiety. I fear that she will sing in my ear and I will wake up next year. She grabbed my finger and took out a knife, and before I could act, my finger was bleeding, "You crazy woman..." I said in pain because I did not prepare. For pain

She walked with her fingers on my blood, then put some of it on my lips, and said, pointing to the Mirror, "Your blood is the color that suits you best."

I looked at her in shock, then I almost wiped the blood from my mouth, "Who said that?", but her words stopped me, "Wipe it if you want me to open your other finger." She said with a smile.

I smiled painfully at my pathetic state, "Okay, ma'am."

She took the brush and started painting my makeup, my eyes, my eyebrows. My skin, A red dot under each of my eyes, as proof that I am married. while I was looking at her, when she finished, I said to her softly, "Xue Jing, is it I who found you or you? Why do you remember me?"

She raised her eyebrows when she heard the question and put down the brush. "How can I forget?"

"As I forgot."

She looked at me from above, "How bold you are."

I looked in the mirror one last time, at my bright golden crown, my hair flowing underneath, my red dress colored with gold. Then I walked behind her, "Xue Jing, I want to believe."

She turned to me, "What?" I said to her, "You told me not to believe at all, but I want to. This is the only thing I want to hold on to."

She smiled with the corner of her lips, "You want everything...that's the truth."

"Is it wrong for me to do that?"

Her brown eyes, she looks fierce. Shiny. "Yes. That desire of yours, it destroyed you for centuries, decades, thousands of years. It has not freed you to this day."

"So...was I evil in the past? What happened?"

She sighed, "Read this book, and it will tell you the truth. Just keep reading. And you will know who they are. Who you are and what happened. Only you can read it."

She left the room. She left me behind, full of doubts about who I really was.

Years ago, I knew my true nature completely and was not tempted by the idea of being another human being, but now, perhaps because my soul has taken over this body, and it is not my body, I have a stronger feeling of emptiness and lack of belonging. The Phoenix is a legendary saintly being, but they called her "saint." That is. They don't know she's a phoenix.

Someone knocked on the door. I sighed, knowing that there was a lot of noise today. I said tiredly, "Come in." As I was walking towards my bed, the person who knocked spoke quickly, "Why don't you say hello to me?"

I turned around quickly, making the crown accessories on my head make a sound. I looked dumbfounded. The woman spoke again, "I haven't seen you for a while. You've become more beautiful."

I took a few steps, and she came forward and hugged me, "I missed you, Shushin."

I smiled happily, "I missed you so much, Zenzen."

Ling Jie held his hands together and said poutingly, "Aren't we visible?"

Zenzen and I moved away from each other and smiled at his words. Zinzen said, "Stop interfering and spoiling things."

I laughed, "I miss your fights."

He came closer and put his hands around her shoulders, "It's my darling now, we're not fighting."

I raised both of my eyebrows, "Excuse me? What did you just say? When did this happen?"

I looked at Minghao who was annoyed, "I didn't know either."

Zenzen pushed Ling Jie's hands away, "Don't touch me, you idiot."

"I'm happy for you," I said smiling

It seemed like Zenzen did not expect this. She looked in surprise, then looked at Ling Jie, who was also surprised. I smiled and continued so that it would not be embarrassing, "I am happy, because you have found happiness."

"So, Shushin, have you found happiness?"

I laughed, "I swear, I heard this a few days ago. Many people ask me if I'm happy. I wonder why..."

Minghao finally spoke, "Because you look like you are being forced to live."

I looked at him with blank eyes, no signs on my face, then smiled, and quickly said, "Where is Eugene?"

"Maybe he will be late. The invitation came late, so we didn't catch up on getting ready."

"Xiao Yan is very bad at these things, isn't she?"

Ling Jie said, "Xiao Yan? What does it have to do with it?"

I looked at him, "Didn't she send the invitations?"

Zenzen shook her head, "No, Tian Yang."

Lingjie said, "He said that you were very ill, so you couldn't tell us in person, and that a lot of things had happened."

Minghao said mischievously, "Can't you even tell me?"

"I'm sorry, Minghao, and I'm sorry to you guys too. I was in a coma for the previous 28 days, so I missed the wedding preparations. I didn't tell you about my wedding because it was already decided between the elders, and this is a matter between the royal family and the Demon Clan. I basically can't refuse."

Zenzen snorted, "Coma? Are you okay now?"

I laughed, "Of course, I hurt my inner strength trying magic so I fell into a coma. It's nothing serious. Don't worry."

"The world of magic is truly unique," Ling Jie whispered

The maid came, "Come out, let's go. My lady."

I sighed and whispered to myself, "It was a bright dream. That's enough."

I smiled at them and said goodbye. When I walked out the door, I looked at Minghao one last time, then left

My red dress, pulled behind me, I always felt like red was chasing me.

There are still a few hours until the wedding, but I have to ride to the wedding hall. There the marriage is registered, the loved ones are appreciated, and the wedding is performed. This is a mandatory ceremony for all residents of the kingdom, so the palace is very large.

******

(An hour later, Eternal Clan Palace)

[Inside the palace temple]

Ling Jie, "How do you feel?"

Minghao looked at him, "What do you want?"

"I mean...you loved her, how do you feel about letting her go? Don't you love her?"

"What if I love her? Would that make a difference?" Minghao says

"Yes, why do you love her if you never plan to tell her?" Ling Jie replies.

"I will never tell her that I love her"

"Why? Are you ashamed of your feelings?"

"No, of course. Maybe I have this feeling. I feel ashamed of many things. I cannot deny this, but I will not move towards anyone who does not love me. I will not take the step if I was the only one who loved her."

"Why?"

"Mmm, do you know why people confess their love to each other? Because they think that those in their hearts love them too, or they think that their feelings may be affected by the other person , or because they want to get rid of those feelings. In my case... if I told her that I loved her, I would have to abandon her. So I can't abandon her. Maybe she already knows about my feelings but ignores it because she doesn't love me, but that means I can still be by her side."

Ling Jay didn't know what to say, so there was a moment of silence. "I know, you loved her, even though you hated her very much. You hated the fact that your family had a relationship with her family, but when you found out that she was Shushin, you did not hate her, you hated yourself."

Minghao shook his head in denial. "From the beginning, I was always in the shadows, there and even here. She never thought of me as a lover. She was destined to be alone, but she, too, was destined to be alone but among people. So I want to console her loneliness, but I am not a completely good man. I can't say that I feel happy for her. What man would think that another man would treat his beloved better than him?"

From outside the temple door, a red hanfu appears, but quickly disappears with the wind... It seems to be someone's weak spot. Completely revealed. For the second or thousandth time in a row.