Am I A Deadly Sin?

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Dee stood looking at the man who was sleeping beside her. She wanted to touch his skin but she couldn't. She gently placed her hands on his body but didn't do anything. Her hands stood there without moving. She didn't know whether she did the right thing last night or it was wrong. She wanted to blame herself for doing something stupid by sleeping with him but she couldn't. She was left without any important answer to her question.

Jake was sleeping and snoring softly in the bed. He was peaceful after last night. Dee looked at the phone beside her it was already morning, walked from her bed focused on starting the day. Though it was Saturday, she knew anytime her workers will be in their offices trying to do various things and she did want them questioning Jake. So she prepared herself quickly and put on her casual clothes. She went with black trousers and a mustard top pairing them up with a blazer on top. She looked beautiful.  This is how she starts her day on the weekend. She didn't go to the gym today because she woke up late and didn't want to leave Jake alone in the room. That was not good. She wanted him to wake up and find her in the room. Done with her morning routine, she decided to make herself some coffee and a quick breakfast. She wanted Jake to try something before he goes on with his day. It's not like she couldn't crumble some eggs and fluffy pancakes. Those were easy for her, unlike some complicated food that she would have to overthink before doing any of it.

Done, she moved to the little bedroom section that separates from the living room and the open kitchen with simple clothing. The penthouse looked like a studio apartment. It was open but at the same time, the clothes were used to separate various rooms. 

She found Jake was up and wearing the same clothes he had worn yesterday. She didn't understand why he was rushing to put on his clothes yet it was still seven o'clock in the morning. She had even collected some new clothes for him to wear in case he is up and has taken shower but looks like, that was not going to happen.

            "Morning, you okay?"

Dee greeted trying to act the cool girl she is. Jake didn't reply to her, instead, he was busy focusing on his shoes, trying to fit them in. Dee placed the tray of food on the small bedside table and waited for him to finish talking before he can try her pancakes out.

"Jake, what's wrong with you, I got you clothes. You can take a shower from here, it is no big deal plus my employees won't be around until nine. It's a weekend and they start their day late. Is something wrong or did I do something wrong here?"

Jake halted in his quick work. He looked at Dee and sighed. Throwing the shoes that were not getting his leg away, he decided to lay on the bed.

"Fuck, I thought you were afraid of people seeing me here, that's why I was busy trying to wear my shoes and leave."

Dee chuckled seeing how he was breathing heavily. He had nothing to fear because they can just pretend he was there to say 'hi' to her in the morning before leaving for his work.

Jake quickly took a shower in her small bathroom before settling for breakfast. 

"Uhm, this, this is good, I see you put action into this, I love it!"

Jake was talking with food in his mouth while pointing at the fluffy pancakes that Dee had made him. Dee blushed watching him praise her. Done with his meal, it was time to leave but Dee was not ready to let him go. Though they won't be here the whole day because they had other things to do.  She has to make sure Dan doesn't know she lives in the office instead of some fancy hose and also it was now time to get rid of Jake from her little house. 

"I am grateful Dee, grateful for the small thing we shared here, I can say you are amazing in the short period that we shared. You helped me through my problem, gave me a place to sleep which I am grateful for, and also you got me new clothes and some breakfast. That is much and all I can say is I am grateful for all of them."

Dee knew there was no reason for him to say all that. It was okay to do that because Jake was a friend to her. She can't stay mad at him forever they share history. Maybe they were not meant to be. Maybe the sex was rebound because Fern was acting up and he wanted somewhere to release himself from all the drama, sadly, Dee was the waste can where he could release all the waste that he had.

She nodded watching Jake put on the last pair of shoes on his feet. She wanted to ask what do they have after last night but she decided to shut her mouth instead of embarrassing herself in front of Jake. Opening the door that led to her office first, she had to check to make sure that no one was around to see him. 

"Okay, you can now walk out, the coast is clear."

"The coast? You are funny, I bet those are one thousand and one words you adapted from the Korean drama you have been watching or some American silly romance movies to get that term."

Dee slapped him on the chest and shoved him out of the office.

"Don't be corky, plus that word is important and it's a very useful English word, don't think that I am misusing it always."

Jake walked and stood, putting his hands in his pocket and admiring the way she was dressed. The mustard enhanced her beautiful face. 

"I am grateful and I don't know how many times I am going to say thank you, Dee."

There was no point in saying that because he had already said that line ten times and it was okay. 

"Uhm, just wanted us to keep this between us, or we can pretend like we didn't fuck yesterday, I don't want anyone to find out about us like this. It will humiliate you further and you know very well the way people want to bring you down so that they can step on you?"

Dee's world stopped moving. She couldn't imagine Jake was saying all these? So after yesterday he still doesn't want anyone to know about them? What was she? 

"What do you think of me, Jake? So am I a deadly sin that no one is supposed to know about or some filthy disease that will infect the others when discovered? Wow, I didn't mean you thought so low of me? I didn't think you wouldn't want to acknowledge that yesterday was fun as much as I would agree to it.  You know what, thank you, can you now go out because I want to be alone."

Dee was acting all strong and unbothered when she was speaking to Jake. She couldn't believe how stupid she was to allow Jake to fuck her and lead her on, only to tell her that she should keep it a secret. What was she expecting, to be treated like a queen and be welcomed back into Jake's hands? How foolish?

'Are you happy with yourself now? You wanted to open your legs so bad so that you can feel good after orgasmic. Okay, let's say, the sex was good, you spread your legs, you rode him and when it came to the doggy style you did all your best. He loved that you are still tight the same way you were. What about you Dee, is he the same man you left down four months ago? I am confused here because you are now trying to complain and blame me for what you did yesterday. I didn't want to open my legs, you did! Plus he asked you if it was okay if you kissed him a green light to go on with it. Congratulations, I think you deserve the trophy to be a sex-deprived human being in this world! Shame on you! Don't start lamenting to me like I said everything, maybe also slap him on the face and get over it!'

She hated herself right now. She tried lamenting with herself and at the end of it all, she knew she was the one to be blamed for letting her sexual desires lead her on.

Watching Jake still standing in front of her, she gripped the table and her knuckles were popping out. That was a sign for Jake to get out but he was silly when it comes to reading signs with Dee. 

He moved closer trying to comfort her but no, dee flung her hands across his face and on the other cheek to make it even. Jake moved away with the slaps on his face. He gently placed his hands on his cheeks as he felt the hot stinging.  He knows the way Dee's slaps usually sting and he couldn't help it. 

He moved to her and grabbed her body caging her on the wall. 

"Listen to me and listen to me very carefully, you are no filth, you are somebody special to me but we can't go around broadcasting that we just slept together? Unless you want to go ahead and start another war with Fern and now Edith who wanted to suck my dick so bad. I love you and nothing is changing that, I respect you. You are not desperate for having sex with me, what will that make me Dee? Don't blame yourself because of what we did last night. We both enjoyed it, don't allow your consciousness to torture you about it. To me, you are still my beautiful angel and I love us this way."

Dee didn't enjoy anything he was saying to her. She decided that she was not giving her the attention that he needed so much.  She hated that she was being put second in everything. She was treated like an option and not some important person that she was. She threw Jake aside and quickly walked to her chair sitting down. She didn't warn to hear any of Jake's words right now. She has a sweet mouth and knows how to talk someone into believing that they deserve much more than just being the side chick.

Jake stood by the door looking at her. It also broke his heart watching her this sad. He knows that it is not right to do this to her but he has plans, only that he doesn't know whether his plans are going to work because they were just mere plans and not actions that he was sure about.

Watching her focus on her work, he thought of an idea and quickly walked to her and placed a kiss on her moist cheek of hers before wiping the tears away. He knew this won't make up for anything but it was still important to him. He quickly walked out and headed for the elevator. Too bad he didn't have any password to the elevator and he was left stranded there. He didn't know whether to go back and ask Dee for the password or use the normal lift.

Luckily Dan was coming in using the same elevator. He always had the authority to use it because Dee authorized him to use it.

"What are you doing here jake? It's early in the morning. Please don't tell me you made her cry again, this time around, I will make sure that I kill you."

"Please, take care of her for the time being. I can't tell you anything right now. She is delicate Dan. Trust me, everything is going to be fine. I am also trying my best."

"Oh, so now you are trying your best, man, man up and stop acting like some hormonal teenager. You are never there for her, you let her be humiliated by everyone and now you are telling me you are trying your best, you know what, if that trying involves, you going back to Fern and acting as the good boyfriend, fuck you man, I am not talking about any of that!"

Dan couldn't believe, that they are now some silly enemies. They used to be good buddies and they worked together very wholeheartedly without any problem. Listening to Jake say some silly things that didn't make sense irritated him. 

"I am sorry Dan, I am sorry I am not the man that everyone wants me to be but I am trying to be good to Dee, I can't do that by being bad, I must act like her enemy, so trust me."

"Just go fuck yourself and suck a dick, when you're done, make sure you say a respectful sorry to her, guards, take him out, this instant!"

Jake was escorted out and thrown into the private elevator and went down. Dan rushed into the office and saw Dee seated down on her chair, busy as usual. He wanted to ask her about Jake but he didn't want to disturb her this time.

He brought her coffee and placed it in front of her. That's when Dee looked up and saw standing in front of her looking funny. 

"I am sorry that asshole came here to bother you this morning. I have given him a piece of my mind and I doubt if he will ever come here again."

Dee laughed watching his serious face. She knew that he said awful things to Jake. He is now mad that he has been insulted. She doesn't need to be told the type of words but the vocabulary that Andreas has fed him is too much and she knows it.

"Thank you, Dan, I know I can count on you. Thank you again."

If only he knew that the person talking here was some person who agreed to open her legs yesterday and now he was insulting the man who slept next to her, that was funny.

Dan read her the daily routine. It was Saturday and today the office is not busy as some other days. They are finalizing for the week. She had to visit the shelter tomorrow as well as have an interview with the few people who want jobs and work in the small Delli that she built. She hated interviewing people for a job. This is the time she wished that Claire and she were still friends, they could have done a very good interview together. Though Andreas is there and she doesn't have a problem. Though for his interview, you will be asked to cook and the person who could well, he or she will be allowed to work in the place. She felt there is no need to go there because Andreas has it covered. She will just call him to make sure that everything is running smoothly and the right people are hired. 

"Why did you write a cheek of one million dollars to the shelter? I thought you were giving up on the project."

Dee had decided to say sorry by writing an anonymous donation to the shelter because she had once wished to have a place like that.

"It needed to be written, no one knows it's me and I would love to keep it that way Dan, don't worry everything is okay."