.........You've Killed.........

I was giving up on finding Dee, it has been one week and in every place where we went, we couldn't find her. We walked in every place to look for her but I couldn't get her. I couldn't see where she went to. She was just in the field but today she is not by my side and I can't get hold of her. 

Dominic and Claire together with Pete have been by my side thinking that we can get her, Claire has even gone to an extent of checking if any calls were made in the area but the calls that were made were from the neighboring houses and we couldn't find any different calls. 

They have made me sleep in their house watching me all day fearing that I might do something bad to myself if I can't find Dee. 

They are right, they should be near. The second might rise from their dead grave and haunt me again, I might end up killing them and myself to end this misery that I don't want right now. 

One week, she had been doing for one week. She always runs up and down trying to keep up with her exercise, open her birth way, just the right size the way the doctor said, she eats healthy and does everything she is supposed to do. Right now, I don't even know if she has been killed or if she is crying. Every day she comes to me in a dream, calling my name and asking me to follow her, but I wake up without following her, sometimes she asks me to take care of the babies because she won't be around for long and I get mad at those dreams. I want even for a day to dream that she is holding me tightly, she is kissing me on the cheeks mad telling me that everything is going to be okay. Can't she even stretch her hands to meet mine in our dream, there is no way we meet. She is always in blood, or her mouth is tied and she can't speak.

I cry in my dreams seeing her like that. I hate that those might be the real things happening to her but again I don't believe in dreams but Claire said I should start believing in them. Right now I want to believe in every dream but I can't. 

How can you believe in a dream where your wife is being beaten up? where her mouth is tied up as someone forces themselves on top of her, a dream that your wife is bleeding, or a dream that your wife is leaving you and will never come back. Worst of it all, your wife is dying and you can't have her together with the babies. That is not going to happen, not now, not ever!

I don't want to believe in that bulshit. I hope today, at night, she comes through in a more good manner, apart from what I know about. I don't want to see her crying, I don't want to see her suffering or anything. I want to see her happy and excited about everything.

I tossed my head, hoping that everything is going to be fine, I toss my head looking up at that ceiling that is covering my head but I can't think of anything. I imagine those days when we could just sit and watch our favorite movie, I want her to annoy me and tell me that she doesn't want to see my business talks right now and wants us to watch the Korean drama, she wants me to hold her, she wants popcorn. I want her to ask for eggs and I won't say no because they are harmful, I will give her them because she deserves them.

I can't, I can't even touch her hair. I have only her scent. You might think I am stupid but I am not that stupid. I am lost in her love. I have been wearing the same t_shirt ever since she left. If I change, in the other T-shirt it's one of mine that she wears every night when she is sleeping. Sniffing it and feeling her is all I want. Even when I put her perfume in other clothes, I can't feel her scent the way I feel it when she is around or when I am wearing the same clothes that she once wore. 

Sometimes I just imagine myself looking at her, I want her and I am smiling at her. She smiles back but the next minute her eyes are red and her thighs are bleeping again. I wake up from my daydreaming and look at her because I am scared, I am scared of what is going to happen to her. 

I feel a blanket pulled up on my body and I am startled from my daydreaming again. It's Jade. He wants to sleep with me on the sofa. I can't say no. TIn the past week, I have come to understand why Dee used to have Jade when we broke up. Jade was good at listening, he has annoying questions but his words were comforting more than the adults. Claire would shout at someone over the phone and Dominic would shout at his guards at another point but for Jade, he is calm, he would hold her head as if I am a baby and calm her down. I loved that and wanted him to do that again and again. I look at him and he hands me an orange from the pile that Claire had given him. 

Nothing tastes good, nothing tastes the same. Food is tasteless and taking the orange, I know I am not going to enjoy it but I force myself to put it in my mouth because Jade is the one who has offered it. I take it again, it feels like drinking water from the water bottle, I place the skim in his hands, and he throws it away and comes back to the sofa where I was sleeping.

"Uncle Jade, where is Aunty Dee?"

This is not the first time he has asked me the same question and I haven't answered it. He has asked that question almost a thousand times ever since he saw his parents running up and down and I couldn't answer it because I didn't know any answer to give out. Today, I am stuck on the same thing. I hope Claire will come over and give him the same answer that she gives when I can't answer.  She is over the door busy shouting at someone about something that I don't know. I am tired of shouting at people and asking questions, my voice can't even be heard now because it's sore. I cry every day thinking of Dee and I shouted for the past six days. My voice was sore and also it went.

Jade touches my headed and gently pushes them down. I remember Dee would have already trimmed them. Where is she now? Jade is pulling them gently, I want to assume it's Dee but I can't, this is Jade, her small baby fingers are different from Dee's. I remember he had asked me a question but I haven't given him an answer. I want to assume it so that I can answer it when he asks it again. 

I grab him and place him on my chest. Maybe he can be calm there. He climbs down and sat next to me on the side. I want to think of other things, like Jade next to me singing his shenanigans but I can't. Those are the same songs he would sing with Dee.  It's like she was teaching him some nursery rhymes. I listen to them and just smile at him. 

Claire and Dominic walk in and out, Pete is now the housemaid, he makes food for everyone and sometimes people eat just a little and leave the rest. 

Dan was over and sits in front of me. He looks like he suffered the same fate as me. He is tired and his beards are also long and his face looks like he has not been sleeping for a long time. I am still wondering what is wrong but I can't wonder, I know the main reason why he is tired, he has a lot of work to do. Though Dee had done most of it. He is not sued for doing the meeting on behalf of Dee. I asked him to say that Dee is bedridden but that doesn't mean he can't attend the meeting I didn't see the reason why he would attend them while I told him he can rest. 

          "Hello Jake, any new information?"

I just look at him and hold my head because I don't have anything to tell him. He has been busy helping with the office and checking every camera but there is nothing that he could get from them. Everything was pure and there was nothing unusual. I hate that every time we think we have someone they end up being innocent people. 

We couldn't get anyone else, everyone we knew about was either dead or in prison. I even went to my father, you still remember that asshole? We went to his prison and he is supposed to be on death row in two months' time nit he said he doesn't know anything about it. I was tired. I haven't failed to turn every stone that I found. Nothing was coming out. Even, Bob, the man who accused her and stained her name didn't know of Dee's whereabouts. He was even shocked that she was pregnant. To mean she was not speaking to people about her pregnancy. The last thing remaining was to make this known to everyone. Maybe we can be sitting here but someone outside there knows mm something about it. 

"Do you think that is a nice idea? I mean, Dee was very private with her life, don't you think that is going to be too much?"

I looked at Dan who was sitting in front of me. Even her employees rarely saw her through the office and they had sworn to keep the secrecy from anyone outside. That is how private she was. Only a few of them saw her. I had no otherwise but to say everything. This was the time I had to go to the public and ask for their help. She might hate it but at the end of it, she will be thankful if she is found. 

"That is the only way to help me, Dan, I hate to do it but I don't have any otherwise. She will be safe if we get and engage the public. If the people who kidnapped her wanted something like money, they could have said something but they haven't called, I can't just sit down."

Dan nodded and Claire came to me and asked me if I wanted to do the press at home. I wanted it to be out of Claire's home because her privacy also mattered. I wanted everyone to be secure while I say this. Even baby Jade was excluded from theatre, that's his own wanted it. I will maybe stand in front of the press with Pete and the other guys will be away from the media. Maybe Dan wi help me and other people. 

Claire was okay with everything. She said she is done with the preparation. We wanted a lot of people to know about her. I wanted every social media to know about her whereabouts. 

"Which one are you going to wear? Navy blue or this dark one?"

Dominic asked as he lifted some suits for me to wear. I was not in the most for anything. A that I wanted was for everyone to know that they can help me if they have seen her. 

"I think I will just shower, I can't change clothes, I don't need them now Dominic. I just want to tell people how she is good and should e home."

Dominic called Claire who was also trying to convince me to wear at least adult or something else, they can bring me some of my polo sweaters that Dee lobed to wear, those are going to confirm me, those are going to help me, not the suits, I want to feel her around me. Without them, I feel like I am losing her and I can't do anything about it.

They decide to let me be. I showered and changed into my sweatpants and the t-shirts. Those are the only things that I could wear. Those are the only things that I wanted.  

"You are going to go outside your compound and the press will be outside, just do your best and say all that you can about her. Say whatever she was wearing and how she looked. We are preparing some posters hoping that people are going to find her. Though she was not famous in the face of people, most of the people might know her through her hard work and what she was doing in the company."

I nodded listening to the advice I was being given. I had a lot to share, I had a lot to say about her. I can't leave anything behind. 

Led by Dan on my side, Pete beside me, and some guards behind me, I walked into the press that was waiting for me. I didn't know what they were going to ask but I was ready with my words, to tell them about Dee, they need to know that I need to find her. 

"Mr. Templetone, we've heard that your wife is lost what happened?"

"Mr. Templetone where is your wife?"

"Are you sure she is lost or your business rivals took her? Where were you when she got lost?"

"Rumors are that she was kidnapped, do you know anyone who kidnapped her? "

Mr. Templetone, do you know that your wife might have escaped on her own to leave you here? Are you sure she was kidnapped or someone took her because she wanted it to happen? 

How can I start speaking with everyone else shouting all over the place as if I don't have some talking to do? I wish I could have just done some private interviews instead of this one. Where people are shouting all over the place, where no one is allowing me to speak.  Teats were flowing down my eyes as I heard each of them speak, I wanted to have a chance to say something but everyone was shouting all over. 

"Where were you sir? Can you spare the people the truth? Where were you when she was taken?"

I wanted to tell them where I was. I was in the field but I wanted her to run so badly that I could t think of anything else. She wa exercising' like everyone else,  she wanted to be healthy.  

"Are you sure, she was kidnapped or you've K.I.L.L.E.D Mrs. Diana Templetone?"

Do you think Jake should believe in his dreams?

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