day 3

Wednesday, 7th December, 2016

Wakefield, England, United Kingdom

5:13 pm

"Crime of passion: Lovers who committed murder or other impulsive, unplanned acts of violence, but who are not sociopathic. People like this have never been abusive to their significant others, nor have had a history of violence, but the sudden shock of infidelity and betrayal overwhelmed their judgement."

Today I decided to visit Luke a bit later, so I wouldn't be met with all the mess of the prisoners coming and going to the canteen. I feel icky when they look at me. Wakefield isn't a very nice place, to be honest, but I'm too intrigued by Luke and everything he had to say, and I wanted to keep evaluating him.

When I arrive at the small room, he is again waiting there, sitting completely still and looking only at his point on the wall. That is until I close the door, leaving the two of us alone. His eyes wander towards me and his lips draw a small smile.

— You came back.

— Of course I came back – I say, going to the table and extending my hand to him –. Good morning.

— I thought I freaked you out and you wouldn't come back. No one has ever tried to interrogate me twice – he explains, taking my hand and shaking it before I sit in the chair in front of him.

— Well… I don't freak out easily – I smile briefly before taking my notebooks, files and folders and putting them on the table –. How did you wake up today?

— I was feeling okay, however… that annoying camera is making that sound again.

— Luke, let's not play games anymore, shall we? – I say seriously – They are not going to turn down those cameras. This is a prison and you're here because you are a suspect in the murder of seventeen women. You need to take this seriously.

— I take it seriously, gorgeous – he smiles and takes my hand over the table –. But that noise gives me a really bad headache and in this state I can't talk about Kelsey or anything, really.

— You know what? I actually bought you something that may help… – I say, looking in my bag.

— Oh yes… a cigarette would help.

— No, I'm not talking about a cigarette. The smoke would just cause your headache to be worse, Luke. We don't want that, right? – I smile, putting a small pill and a water bottle on the table – I brought you this, it's for migraines… I'm sure if those cameras are really bothering you, this will help.

— Are you serious?

— Completely – I shudder –. You have a headache, and I bring you a solution.

— The only solution is telling those idiots to turn off the fucking cameras.

— Why don't you want them to listen to what you say? I tell them everything when I get out of here.

— Oh really? Everything? – he whispers, leaning close to me – If I kissed you would you also tell them?

— That's never going to happen, so let's not create impossible hypotheses.

A small grin appears on his face. Almost a smile but not quite. He then takes the pill and the water bottle. After swallowing the pill, he chugs the entire water bottle and puts it back on the table. I open one of my files on Harris and one of my black notebooks, grabbing a pen to start.

— Okay, so we are going to start the interrogation. Let's make it easy and tell the truth, shall we? I am a really good psychoanalyst and I have a gift to know when people are lying to me. Long story short: you lie, I know and the session is over. Alright?

— Alright – he laughs, probably not completely believing my statement –. But remember when two are playing, the other can change the rules anytime.

I stay quiet for a moment, looking into his eyes, not knowing if his intention is to intimidate me, to threaten me or simply to laugh with me. I chose to ignore it. I quickly re-read the file on Kelsey, looking at the highlighted areas I prepared to ask Luke about it.

— Today we'll talk about your relationship with Kelsey, okay?

— Of course.

— How long were you two together?

I know the answer to it but I need to see his reaction, so I observe him. Luke remains quiet and still for a moment, then his eyes get darker and his jaw gets tense. He looks like he's either going to cry or yell. Then his eyes look into mine.

— The day she was killed was our eighth anniversary – he responds in a mournful tone –. I thought it would be the best anniversary of our lives… I would propose to her, she would say yes and we would end up making love on the sofa, next to the chimney. It obviously went in a very different way. And you know what? I'm happy it did. I'm happy I found out the truth before proposing to her, or even married her.

— How did you meet her?

— In high school. It wasn't a movie moment. She was a classmate, I started liking her so I asked her out and we started dating.

— How was Kelsey? In your day to day life. How was she with you? How was her behaviour.

— I don't know… – he shudders – Normal, I guess.

— Luke, don't close yourself off – I ask, placing my hand over his to give him more confidence –. I need you to let me help you if you want to get out of here. And to do so… you have to talk to me about Kelsey and your relationship.

— Do you really want to help me? – he whispers. Then I see his face changing. He went from being a tiger: confident and intimidating; to be a little kitten: helpless and skittish.

— Of course – I assert, holding on to his hand –. I'm here to help you. And, to be honest, I don't think you're guilty. But I have to find the evidence to prove the people out there you're not the maniac killer they are looking for. I have to prove to them you don't have the psychological profile of a serial killer – even though I don't fully believe he is innocent, I must earn his trust.

— Thank you, Malia – he mutters after exhaling, like he was out of air –. Truly, thank you.

— You don't have to thank me, Luke. It is my job. That is why I need you to talk to me about your relationship.

— Yes, okay. I'll tell you all you want about Kelsey.

I smile at him and gently caress his hand before letting go and holding my pen back, ready to write everything he has to say. Harris takes a long breath and then takes his eyes back to that invisible point on the wall to create an invisible wall around himself, to protect his feelings.

— The first time I saw Kelsey… I thought "I will marry her". Really. I walked into the classroom and I saw her… she was on the third or fourth row, sitting next to a friend. She was playing with her hair and laughing at what her friend was saying. And then I felt like a cliché… Everything around me stopped, and her movements seemed to be in slow motion. It was… magic. I don't even know how to fully describe how I felt at that moment. It took me months to gather the confidence to talk to her. We started as friends, we were also partners in the chem lab… Then, before Christmas, I finally asked her out – he narrates, with a clear firm voice –. I was very happy in our relationship. My work shifts were complicated, but she told me her work was flexible and could do odd hours… I now understand why… – he sighs – We used to spend a lot of time together. As much as we could. We loved to walk around Saint James's Park, or go vintage shopping in Portobello or Camden Town… Every weekend that we had off we would drive down to the shore, even if it was winter, since we loved the sea very much.

— Did you used to argue a lot?

— Not really… I am not a confrontational person, so I would normally just accept what she wanted or said. I was so in love with her that I didn't mind what to do as long as I was with her. All I wanted was to spend time with her.

— That's very nice, Luke – I say, trying to cheer him up a bit, since his eyes are starting to get watery, maybe because of remorse or maybe simply because of the nostalgia and the "what could have been" – So we could say Kelsey was the "leader" in the relationship, in a certain way.

— Oh, yeah definitely – he asserts, without feeling ashamed. Most men would deny something like this.

— So how was she with you? How was her character?

— Uhm, normal, I guess… Kels wasn't especially affectionate. Maybe during our first years dating, during high school, she was a bit more… but that changed overtime. And for the past two years she was more distant… not all the time, but definitely more often than she used to be.

— Did she have any reason for it?

— I don't think so… I still behaved the same way – he shudders –. Maybe it's because I was working long hours, but I always tried to do the longest shifts together so then I could have a bunch of free time to spend with her.

— So you made sacrifices for the relationship and she didn't appreciate them… She wasn't very affectionate, but was she aggressive?

— What? Are you crazy?

— Did she ever abuse you? Verbally or physically?

— Of course not! – he shouts, standing up and grabbing my blouse so I would stand up too – Kelsey may have been a fucking prostitute but she was always nice to me! Do you hear, stupid bitch? – he yells, with his face barely a few millimetres away from mine.

His cheeks are giving off heat, and are red because of the rage he is barely holding back. Then he pushes me back so I fall into the chair, but he does it so hard my chair and I fall to the ground. He hit the table with his fists. Not even two seconds later, two guards have entered the room and are holding him back while he's trying to make them let go. Laude also enters and comes to me to help me stand up. I dust off my skirt and then look towards Luke, who seems to calm down a bit, and stops tusseling.

— Are you okay, Malia? – asks Laude, seemingly worried.

— Yes, I am. You don't have to worry. You can leave now.

— Are you sure? Harris is too violent, it's not safe for you to be here alone. Some guards should stay.

— I'll be fine, Laude. You can leave.

Robert looks towards both guards who doubtfully let go of Harris and then the three of them leave the room, leaving us alone again. Luke moves towards my side of the table until he's standing right in front of me. He holds my arms from both sides and for a moment I fear he's going to try and hurt me again, but then I realise how softly he's holding me and know he's not going to. Also, his face isn't boiling with rage anymore. He looks concerned. His big hands slowly descend through my arms.

— Are you okay, Malia? I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you – he whispers in that intimate tone he sometimes uses.

— I'm okay, Luke – I assert, pushing him back so he stops touching me –. But we were doing great until now.

— I know. I'm sorry. Hearing you say those awful things about Kelsey pushed my limits.

— I wasn't saying awful things about her, Luke. I was simply asking. You could have said no and I would have moved on.

— Okay… I'm sorry – he mutters again.

He falls onto his chair. I get mine right and sit down again. He rests his elbows on the table and plays with his hands nervously for a moment. The room is silent, yet it feels like his thoughts are deafening. He is immersed in his own head, reliving memories, going over thoughts, remembering his feelings. A few moments later, he looks into my eyes and nods his head.

— I think Kalsey was a good person… I want to think so. She would never hurt anyone, especially me. I really think she loved me… That's why I don't understand… – his eyes start to get watery again –, I don't understand why she'd do something like that behind my back. She did love me… – Luke hides his face behind his hands – She loved me as much as I loved her. I did nothing to hurt her, that's why I don't understand why she betrayed me, Malia. I did nothing wrong. I didn't deserve it.

He then looks back at me, as small tears start running down his cheeks. I feel my heart hurting, believing his words. But if I believe his words it means he is innocent. No one with such pure feelings could have murdered women, especially in such a brutal way. Everybody believes he's guilty, but now I'm not so sure.