Chapter 13 - Trying to get rid of the Pain
Suffering for a while without being able to do anything else, we started home from the wedding place after completing all the formalities of the wedding. I started my bike and my mom sat behind me holding me tight. The roads are very wide, our journey goes very smoothly, but my heart is in some turmoil, I feel like I have lost something very important in my life. My mother is devastated to see my suffering as I am riding my bike very silently without speaking to her. On the one hand when I was riding the bike thinking of something else very deeply, my mom who was sitting back to me on my bike was too scared for my riding.
But no matter how distressed I am, my mind must be under control. My mother is not able to understand that, she is very worried, I can understand that very clearly. Her face is very clear from the mirror which is attached to my bike in front of my eyes to check the road behind me while I was riding the bike as if she is under tension. Even in the cold wind, her face was drenched with sweat. Her eyes widen and look towards the road and towards my bike speed. But she refused to say it to me as she thought I would get angry.
I suddenly stopped my bike on the side of the road, without disturbing anyone and asked my mother to get down for a while. She even got off the bike without saying a word and came in front of me and looked at my face for the reason of stopping the bike and asking her to get down.
"What happened? Why did you stop the bike? Any problem with the bike?" Besides not understanding what she asks me so many questions only after a complete silence in between us for a long time.
For a while I stared at her face without answering anything and noticed her tension and tried to ease it with my silence. My mother also suddenly got out of that tension and fell into thinking why I stopped the bike. All I wanted was to get her out of the tension as well.
"I am asking you my dear son, why did we stop here? Did the bike have any problem? If so, how do we get home now? No other vehicles come here in this way normally?" Tension drops in her as she thinks of something in her mind.
"Mom, why are you so tense about everything? Why are you so scared when I'm with you?" I put the bike on the stand, got down and grabbed her shoulders with both my hands and asked her tight. To cool down her completely.
"Why am I tense? Nothing like, I am completely normal as usual" she blushed.
"Mom, do you think I do not know about you? I have been watching you since I was a child. I know about you as well as you know about me too. Why do you even think that I'm suffering for that girl and driving the bike without my control? You know very well that my mind and body are still under my control no matter what situation I am in. But why are you so tense about it?" I asked very hard to know the pain in her mind.
"No my dear son, I know about you very well, but now you like a girl, that too you've never seen a girl like that before. I loved seeing you a girl for the first time and you liked her deeply, but now you've missed that girl. I know how that pain hurts you? Even me came from that stage and could understand your feelings, so I am a little tense" said my mother in great detail.
"There's nothing like that, Mom, I know how to find that girl. What tension do you have about it?" I tried to comfort her but the same tension and the same pain was clearly seen on my mother's face.
"I do not understand. How do you find that girl? Tell me a little detail? Please my dear son, let me get rid of my tension?" She streamed down her tears but took care not knowing to me as she loves me a lot that she could not bear the pain which I was suffering in my heart.
I was very upset when my mother asked me that and after knowing I was making her feel the pain in her heart and I wanted to tell my mother that I felt so much tension. We had a place to sit near to where I stopped my bike, so I wanted to take my mother there by holding her hand, grabbed her and took her there and let her sit quietly and wanted to explain to her clearly.
As she sat there I sat on my knees and held her arms with both my hands, leaning on her naps and said, "Mom, why are you so tense? Don't you trust your son? Okay listen to my plan. I can find her very simply".
"But how?" my mother asked as she screamed loudly with tension.
"Mom, please listen to me carefully. It's not a big task to us, but we can find her very easily" I tilted my body towards her to take my comfort as I stood on my knees on the ground which was hard to withstand..