Chapter 4 - Striving for success

Kui Lang put his hand inside the full trash bin pulling out the old wrappers and debris. "It must be around here somewhere…" he still could not find the red string after fiddling with it for a long time.

Sighing, he poured down the trash and started to sort through every single one individually. And in no time, he found his string.

But it was not the same.

It was black

The red string had changed colors to black.

Frowning, Kui sniffed it. The string could have been stained by his blood leaving a rusty brown mark on it. but the string did not have any stretch.

"Why is it black…" he gently shook the string in front of his face.

His dear grandmother had gotten this string for him from the holy Buddhist temple two villages away. he was just five years old back then and did not remember why she even went that far to get a piece of string for him. Ever since then, she would occasionally check his worst to see if it was there or not.

"She is going to be disappointed if she finds out… well… I'll get a new one." He tossed the old string in the garbage and stuffed the old trash in it.

Sitting on the bed, he blankly gazed around his small apartment. The only painting he was working on was on display... the beautiful merman's tail was beckoning to him to complete the portrait.

"let's get to work." He starched himself and sat in front of the canvas. His hands slightly trembled as he picked up the brush. It wouldn't stop even as he was about to paint.

"Fuck…" he clutched his wrist tightly. the cut he had made a few days ago started to bleed profusely.

"Why can't I paint still? I... I moved on…... but why…" sighing he sat there with his head down.

His tear-filled eyes fell on the brown wooden paintbrush. The beautiful fishtail carved on the handle slightly shimmered under the sunlight.

"Hmm?" he picked it up and looked at the engravings closely. But that shimmer was long gone.

"Fuck, now I'm delusional…" he let out another loud sigh.

Kui clutched the brush tightly.

{'he painted that perfect artwork? come on, he is an amateur... he is just trying to get some clout'}

{'looser. die'}

{get out of the art world'}

{'liar, liar pants on fire. just go and jump off a building...'}

{'I saw his previous works. he could not accomplish the level of perfection senior Dai has. tsk why do you have to lie?}

Every time he picked up the brush, the crushing feeling of defeat weighed him down. the criticism people threw at him was all he could hear. He could not operate like this.

he clutched his head tightly shaking his head.

"I won't let the voices define me. I won't let people deter me….

he placed the brush down gently on the stand. "I… I don't want to strive for perfection. I just... I just want to draw again. I just want to paint with my heart..."

and when that thought came to him, all that crushing fear disappeared.

He picked up the brush with a slightly trembling hand and placed it on the canvas.

The white paint plopped on the merman's green glistening tail, ruining its perfection.

But it was alright.

He didn't have to be perfect.

Kui smiled dragging the brush around leaving behind an uneven white streak on his perfect painting. He hurriedly dipped his brush in blue and did the same.

the feeling of paint glopping on the canvas and the feeling he got when he just played with it brought nostalgia.

the sense of excitement was overwhelming.

Giggling, he dipped his hand into the wet paint and smudged it. "Who said painting has to be so stiff…" he swirled the color along, making the green and white mix.

By the end of his play session, the whole canvas was ruined.

But it didn't bother him.

Kui just grinned, glancing at his masterpiece. "Nothing in life has to be perfect…. If you have fun doing it that's all that matters."

This really renewed his passion. He once again started to paint the merman from scratch. this time he did not strive for perfection. With his trembling hand, it was impossible to strive for such a perfect image. Instead, he plopped a bit of paint on his painting knife and started to smear it bit by bit and by the end of it the huge canvas was filled with the beautiful face of the merman of his dreams.

Kui stepped back until his back hit the wall and gazed at his masterpiece. The beautiful abstract painting looked so… imperfect but at the same time had a sense of beauty and grace.

a majestic young merman was seen sitting on a throne with a scepter and a crown. his cold eyes peering down at all who were under him.

he just trembled slightly.

"So captivating..."

Kui laughed loudly. "How is that Dai… I overcame my trauma... just you wait. I will overtake you in our field and I will make you eat dirt."

"Wow, you've really gone crazy." A soft whisper pulled him away from his villain laugh.

Kui gazed at the front door in shock.

Woo Tan stood there with a take-out bag.

"How did you get in?"

His annoying best friend shook a set of keys to his face. "I made a copy of your keys, duh." He set the food down and looked at him with a frown. "You look pale as shit… did you eat breakfast?"

"Breakfast?" Kui glanced around. The time he started to paint it was mid-evening. Why would Tan talk about breakfast. "it's noon buddy." He said, shaking his head.

"You delusional man, it's early morning!" Tan knocked on his head slightly. "Are you even getting sleep? Look at your eyes, you look like a fucking panda."

Kui pushed his playful hands away. "What do you mean morning." He scrambled through the folds of his bed sheet and found his phone in a corner buried under the pillows. "Are you drunk it's evening and…." he gazed at the time.

"How is it 8 am!!!! … I started at 10 and…" that was when it hit him. He had spent the entire day painting like a fanatic.

"You don't say. You are a beast! Did you even eat? Sleep? Shit! You're going to ruin your health at this rate." He pulled Kui to the end. "Sleep."

"The painting knives and brushes are still wet. I have to clean up." he shot up stiffly.

"Lie down." Woo Tan pushed him down and tucked him firmly into the bed. "I'll clean up. just sleep okay."

His best friend looked so sad.

Kui gently patted his back. I'm not going to die."

"I know…. But you can't hurt yourself like this either."

"I'm sorry... I just was so into it that I forgot the time."

Woo Tan sighed. "I get it. now close your eyes like a good boy and sleep."

Kui Lang closed his eyes... but sleep evaded his senses. "Can we get a drink to commemorate my success?"

Woo Tan raised a brow. "What success?"

"That..." With a grin, Kui pointed at his painting. "I did that."

Woo Tan shirt up with a gasp. "Fuck! you did that in a day! Kui that looks amazing!" he ran to the painting and looked at it like a curious cat. "Whose face did you use as a reference? This guy is eye candy."

Kui giggled. "it's my own imagination?"

"Ohh~~ Kui has standards ah. That's good. at least then you won't go for trash like that guy..."

"Ugh don't remind me of him." He glared at the painting hanging on the wall. "Get some beer let's celebrate. I don't think I can sleep in this state." He sat up straight.

"Fine but you can't drink on an empty stomach." Tan passed the takeout bag.

Inside were two small burgers and fries.

"Thank you Tan my best friend ~" he hugged his waist tightly.

Tan pushed him away, grimacing. "Shut up and eat. Your breath stinks."

"Woo so mean." Kui pouted watching his friend leave the room.

He quickly devoured the burgers happily.

In just ten minutes Woo Tan returned with their drinks.

Kui drank like there was no tomorrow gulping down the beer bottles.

"Whoa slow down buddy" Tan pulled the bottle off his hand.

But Kui resisted. "Today is a special day. And it needs to be celebrated." Giggling, he pointed at the half-finished painting of his ex-lover. "Today was the day I made up my mind. I am going to defeat him. By the end of it he is going to need up like a non-recyclable piece of trash!" he slammed the bottle on the table. "And I am going to be successful. My work will be famous!"

"That's the spirit!" Tan clicked his bottle with his. "But seriously slow down. I don't want to clean up puke."

Kui was still peering at the half-finished painting on the wall.

"Why do you still have that?" Tan glared at the abominable face of that cheater.

"don't know... why do I have it." Kui walked up to it and pulled it down. "Guess I hoped it was all a dream. That he would return to me. Looks like this piece of trash has gotten lost in the ocean. Can't help it."

Tan laughed out loud. "yes, yes he is where he belongs. Come on let's trash this."

Kui hugged the canvas. "it's still a costly canvas... let's just paint shit on it and I'll paint over it." with a naughty grin, he picked up a brush and paint from the table.

Unintentionally he picked up the old wooden brush.

They both sat on the ground giggling like two teenagers. "What should I write?" Kui gazed at him with a bright grin.

"Write what your heart is feeling. Cuss him out."

"Hmm..." Kui drunkenly started to write on it. "Fuck yourself y… piece of trash."

Tan pointed at the single y on the edge of the canvas. "What is that single y?"

"Wanted to write fuck yourself you piece of trash... but the canvas is not big enough." He pouted.

"This works too." Tan plucked the brush from his hand with a devious grin. "it's my turn."

***

Little far away in the center of the city, Dai Zu was getting ready for a busy day. He had an award ceremony today and he had to look pristine.

He gazed at his reflection as he chowed down a spoon full of fruits. "I'm the most successful artist in the world. No one can beat me."

He tossed the used plastic spoon in the trash.

All of a sudden, his whole body froze over. His hands started to move on their own and plucked the used spoon from the trash bin.

"What is this... what's going on… why can't I control myself…" he tried his best to move... but he couldn't.

His body was out of control.

Slowly his other hand lowered his pants.

"I need to call 911… something is wrong... something is wrong!"

The hand holding the spoon slowly started to move closer to his ass.

A dreadful realization came to mind as the spoon head slowly entered his derriere.

"AHHHHHH!!!!!!"

***

Woo Tan gazed at the painting with a glare. "This is not enough. We need to add a bit of a special touch. Look at his condescending face. Let's make it better." He drew on a comical mustache and a beard.

Kui giggled. "Make him have massive zits~."

chuckling Tan drew on a few dots. Kui added a special touch of puss-like yellow color to it to make it even more disgusting.

****

Dai Zu felt his whole body convulse in pain as the spoon stuck in his rectum. "stop!.... stop..." he cried convulsing on the floor.

incidentally, he caught his reflection on the oven door.

"What is this..." his white face was covered in red volcanic zits and his clean-shaved face was suddenly covered in an ugly mustache and a beard.

"FUCK!!!!!!"