Feelings. Part 1.

I  know i can't do this, he's my crewmate, and we all know love is a weakness. I can't have weaknesses.

But my heart its not listening.

Why did no one warn me falling in love could be so painful? it feels like my mind and my heart are fighting, and none of them are winning.

I ate too much. I need to find another reason to talk to him. But what? I can't cook. And before that, i need to be able to actually speak to him. I need someone with experience.

The moment when we met Usopp came to mind, he knew a girl...well that's better than nothing i guess.

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''So...Usopp, remember when we met?''. I aproached to him, he was building his weird inventions, nothing i would understand. ''Uhh...yeah, how could i forget about it? ...why?''.

''You were trying to save a girl Back then...right?''. I don't know what i'm doing, don't ask.

''A...girl? You mean Kaya?'' He took a second to process what i had asked and i immediately regretted everything. ''Waaaaaait- Are you interested in a girl??''.

''N-no, obviously, i just wanted to know why she was so important- this has nothing to do with me or girls''. That wasn't a complete lie, this really had nothing to do with girls... ''Zoro, don't test the master of lies, i can tell you're hiding something''. He replied bringing down my whole act, i guess my poker face wasnt enough to fool him. Yeah, i completely regret this.

''...Nevermind. Its nothing.'' And i left before he could figure out anything else. I didn't need everyone in the crew knowing about my crush on someone.

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''Oh, Hey Captain''. I said when i found him, in his usual spot, just staring at the distance. Something came to my mind. 'He likes someone...'.

''So...Luffy- ...what are you thinking about?''. Yeah, I wasn't going to ask that, but i've never seen Luffy like that, he looked almost sad, he didn't even answer when i said hello.

''Zoro...would you tell me more about that crush you have?''.

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Author note:    From here until the end of the chapter, this is Sanji's pov.

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Marimo's been acting weird. What was that show in the morning? I don't think being hungry was the reason he went looking for me...and the way he stared at me...he always gets on my nerves when he does that.

He's strong and i can tell he's a good person but its so hard to read him.

I was minding my own business, walking around, when I walked past Usopp's place. I heard People talking inside, and even though I couldnt understand what they were saying at first, I recognized the second voice almost inmediatly.

I swear I wasnt trying to eavesdrop, really, but It didnt sound important and when I heard Zoro, I stoped to listen without realizing.

"...aaaait- are you interested in a girl?". Was all I heard and all i needed to hear. Zoro? The Zoro i knew was interested in a girl? Who? Since when? Don't tell me it's...

'That makes so much sense! He was interested in Nami and got jealous of me since I was closer to her than him!'

I had figured It out! Okay fine, I know im after those two girls a lot, but... even though I never lied when I said they were beautiful... I...dont feel anything towards them.

At least not what I should feel. And i know It.

I feel for the two Girls, what I should feel for him... I really dont want to accept this, Ive been giving It all to switch the situation, i swear Ive tried everything, insulting him, shouting at him, ignoring him...nothing works, I still feel for him what I know I should feel for a girl.

What I heard...my heart aches... 'but hey!' I thought to myself as I ran away from the place before anyone could notice I was there. 'at least now you dont need to worry about something happening between us, since he likes a girl, wasn't that what you wanted from the start?'

I really, really wanted to believe those words, but that didnt stop the pain I felt.

I heard steps comming out of the small room and I hurried, the last thing I wanted in that moment was to see him.

I know I wanted to change It, to be able to fall in love with women, and I know I thought that If one accepted to be with me, I would change eventually...

But...I dont want the one I really like to be with anyone. Its selfish, I know. Only now I realize im late... I have fallen in love... for real this time.

I have no chances to be with him... but I love him... I really do, this pain I feel proves it... and I dont think any girl in the world would help me forget about him.