My SI Stash #22 - Screw the Rebellion, I want Cookies by DWAR (Star Wars)

*Soviet Anthem Intensifies* ProEmpire Fic.

Thanks for 100K views, I'm really glad 300 people have found the way of 🅱️etter fanfics. ψ(｀∇´)ψ

Anyone else not getting notifications? Like I have notifications turned on and all but I ain't getting them when someone comment or message me ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ

Synopsis: We've all read stories where a fan gets transported into the movies/books they love, and use their knowledge of the plot to change things for the better. Well, this story is similar. Only thing is...this fan DOES NOT support the Rebellion, and is willing to do all that he can to ensure the supremacy of the Sith and the Galactic Empire.

Rated: T

Words: 78K

Posted on: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12226414/1/Screw-the-Rebellion-I-want-Cookies(DWAR)

-I'll be putting the chapter ones of all the fanfics mentioned, to give you guys a sample if you wan't more please do go to the website and support the author! (And maybe even convince them to start uploading chapters in here as well!)

Chapter 1

He had finally done it.

A millennia of planning, and he was the one to reap the rewards of all the efforts his predecessors spent in bringing him to this moment.

The corpulent Republic had been transformed into an Empire. A large expanding military was in place to crush any attempt at rebellion while ensuring the continued loyalty of the denizens of the galaxy. And most important of all, the once proud Jedi Order had been reduced to a few survivors scattered across the galaxy thanks to the efforts of his loyal troop, and more importantly, his new apprentice.

The new emperor's mood was somewhat soured by the thought of the newly minted Sith Lord, for although he had been instrumental in dealing the Jedi their death blow, his arrogance had resulted in an apprentice that, while still powerful enough to act as his primary agent in his quest to destroy the remaining remnants of the Jedi, was nevertheless too weak to ever hope to succeed him as master of the Sith Order. This was a potential problem, for although he had mastered some of his former mentor's teachings, the ability to make oneself immortal still eluded him, and as much as he wished to ensure the superiority of his order, he had no desire to let some crippled asthmatic cyborg take his place when he couldn't even safely conjure the barest spark of force lighting.

However before he could begin to formulate ideas that would help to ensure the future of the Sith Order, favorably with him as its head but he wouldn't discount the possibility that he failed to learn Plagueis's techniques before Vader managed to find away to work past his injuries and supplant him, a bright light suddenly flared in his office, which disappeared as quickly as it came.

Using the force to rapidly cure him of his temporary blindness, and frowning in thought as the dark side had given no warning of this peculiar event, Sidious was somewhat surprised to discover that standing in the middle of his office was a teenage human, wearing a black shirt that depicted not only Vader's newest appearance, but also had the ridiculous slogan 'Come to the Dark Side, We Have Cookies' .

Seeing that the boy was staring around the office in a manner that suggested that he was not only familar with the surroundings, but also excited to be in the red colored room, Darth Sidious, Master of the Sith Order, and Emperor of the galaxy could only stare with some bewilderment as the boy, who as he could sense had no force abilities or even ill intentions toward him, quickly noticed him before bowing his head in submission and spoke with an adoration that would even give his most loyal servant's a run for their money.

"Oh my god I'm sorry Emperor Palpatine, I mean Lord Sidious, I mean sir. It's truly an honor to be in your presence, big fan of yours, huge. Please don't electrocute me, I have information for that will prevent your Empire from being destroyed".

Slightly intrigued that this boy not only knew who he was, but also willingly volunteered his services, even if what he was saying sounded crazy, the Sith Lord decided to withhold his judgement on the strange, but eager boy until he discovered what information the boy possessed.

"Do you boy? I confess I find that hard to believe, even with your unusual interest. Still, I find myself willing to hear what you have to say, provided of course that you don't lie to me, for I will know if you do, and that the information you possess is in fact genuine. Other wise, I'll make you wish you were being tortured by force lightning".

Gulping at this threat, but still managing to somehow retain his earlier eagerness, the oddly dressed boy first asked a question that should have been impossible to know.

"Has Anakin..sorry I mean, has Darth Vader been fitted out with his life support suit yet"?

Hiding his shock that someone else other than himself knew about the status of his apprentice, who had finished reconstruction only 24 hours ago, Sidious glared in suspicion at the boy as he provided his answer".

"Yes he has. In fact he's been in that suit for the past 24 hours, and is currently undergoing final checks before I can introduce him to the galaxy as my enforcer".

Surprisingly, this bit of information seemed to somewhat disappoint the boy, mumbling something about missing the 'epic no scene'. But to the Sith Lord's continued confusion, the boy quickly brushed this off, and stared directly into his ruined visage with a confidence that he didn't suspect the boy was even capable of.

"Since I know you can tell if I'm telling the truth or not, the two FIRST bits of information I have for you is this. I know what planet Master Yoda is going to hide on, and I know that Senator Padme Amidala managed to give birth to twins before she passed away".

Despite his decades as a politician, Sidious couldn't help but allow his surprise at this information to be visible, for he could easily sense that what the boy had told him was true. Meaning that, and indeed the boy had indicated that he had more available, that not only had he a potential fountain of information to exploit at his whim, though he had to be careful since he was fully aware that the force was always in motion and even the smallest impact could have wide repercussion, but that his earlier fears for the future of his order might have just disappeared.

...

Think I'll leave it here for now lol

Always wanted to do a story like this, and thanks to the ASB thread on Alternate History . com,, not to mention some other time travelling/mary sueing stories, felt motivated enough to publish this.

As a kid I always liked the Empire better, they got cooler ships, their military commander is a bad ass, and the fact that the Rebellion is too preachy. Not to mention the fact that the so called democracy in the Republic is corrupt as they come, and the Jedi could have avoided near extinction, IF they adapted with the times and didnt become the personal police force of the senate.

Flames are never welcome...and their sorta useless since constructive crisitsm is soooo much better lol