My brother's best friend

I can feel my heart beating in my chest faster than the speed of light. My palms are sweating heavily from the unsteady feeling that's holding a hard grip on my insides.

I never liked airplanes or flying and every time I got on one, I flipped. That was my only fear. Until this morning. Until my mom pushed me and my two sisters in the small private jet and told us we're going to visit our grandparents and older brother in Miami, Florida.

Miami... I thought I left this place for good three years ago and I thought I left my pain and broken heart there. At least I thought so. But no. The second I got on that plane, he and the memories of him invaded my mind. And I can't believe how stupid I was to believe every word he said, every single fucking lie. But that's how fuck boys live, they lie, they use and then they leave you. And you realize that when it's already too late.

But my case was... Is different. Thank God I didn't sleep with him. I just fell in love with him... So hard... So bad... In my brother's best friend.

I still can't believe how that stupid fifteen year old me trusted him. I thank my eyes for seeing him cheating on me with his ex girlfriend, because if I didn't, I'd be in so much trouble and I don't mean by ruining a friendship, no, I mean being completely destroyed as a person.

So I thought it would be better if I leave the city with my mom and my sisters. And so I thought I'd never go back there and I thought I'd never ever see him again, but something is telling me right now I was very wrong.

"Are you okay?" my sister Hannah asked with concern.

Was I okay for the past three years away from him? Am I okay knowing that probably I'd see his stupid face? I can't say.

"Tiffany?" Hannah called my name.

I look at her with an empty expression on my face, take a deep breath, release it heavily and return my sight back on the view from the small window.

"Wanna talk about what's bothering you?"

Her icy blue eyes are deeply focused on me. I look at her again and think how perfect she is. Hannah, Taylor and I are triplets and sometimes it's hard to tell who's who, but we are completely different on the inside. And I envy both of them. Somehow I think Hannah is the most beautiful of us, she's not the brightest for sure. Taylor is. She got accepted in CalTech. I, on the other hand was... Am the troublesome. I was always the one who was in trouble, I was the one who was scolded for my looks, for how smart or stupid I was. Even when I moved to L.A. nothing changed. Mom was never pleased with the things I did, so I never really had somewhat a normal relationship with her. For her it seemed easier to neglect her kids their whole lives. Our grandparents took care of us and raised us. When I turned seven I thought it'd be good if I spend some time with my dad and lived with him for a while. He took care of me, he was there when I needed him, not like mom who was always working. Things were okay. Until I turned thirteen.

I started hanging out with my older brother Derek and his friends. He's three years older than me. I thought he was so cool that he lived by the motto 'live fast, die young'. Turned out to be a huge mistake. He got arrested a few times for drugs, alcohol and reckless driving. Things escalated when once dad arrested him. That ended up ugly. They got into a fight and never spoke to each other ever since.

I stayed for a while with my dad after that scandal then got back to my grandparents house the second my dad yelled at me for taking my brother's side, which never happened. I left that ground completely destroyed.

And when I moved back to the mansion with my grandpa and grandma happened the thing with my brother's best friend Jake. I had the biggest crush on him for two years. I was fifteen back then, I was a stupid kid who believed that everything on wings that was flying was friendly.

One day things between me and Jake changed when he kissed me and told me he was obssesed with me. I was thrilled my crush liked me back that didn't think for a second something might be off. We had our private moments together, shared stolen kisses and hugs. Until I saw him eating his ex'es face. That broke me. The rational me asked heartbroken me what an eighteen year old fuck boy saw in a fifteen year old virgin.

I was so devastated that packed my bags for California and swore I'd never come back to Miami.

That morning a few hours before we left Jake came to me and pretended to be so in love with me explaining to me how his love for me was growing stronger and stronger with each second that passed. I just smiled at his stupid fake love-sick bull-shit and acted as if I hadn't seen him cheating. When he left for a few hours with my brother, that's when we left. The same night we settled into our apartment he called like a crazy person. I had sixty-four missed calls from that jerk. On the sixty-fifth I answered. He yelled at me, then begged me to come back. I just listened to his empty words and when he finished I said to him 'I hope you had a great a laugh for pranking me into believing you liked me back. But that's it. You are replaceable. I can find someone better than you, someone who's not lying to me, someone who actually cares. I don't need you in my life.' And I ended the call.

After a week in Cali I changed everything about me. I became a new Tiffany and I love every fucking single thing about me.

Despite everything my brother is clueless about the thing with Jake. And I am actually grateful. But my feelings for him never faded away.

"Tiff?" Taylor called my name and sat beside me. "Are you okay?"

I hate that question from the bottom of my heart. Of course I'm fine. Shit like that happen to people all the time. Can't I just feel bad for a moment without all the people in the world start asking the same question.

"Mom set a doctor's appointment for you when we get to Miami." Hannah whispered quietly.

Here we go again. I know I suck at good luck, but bad luck is definitely my new bestie. Like, what the fuck?!

Mom's actions can't surprise me at all. She loved to be in control of us, where we go to school, who are our friends, who we dated, is he coming from a good family. But her setting up a check up by the doctor is something that can't surprise me. What for?

Well, my life originally sucks. Two years ago when I was sixteen I ran away from home and went to a concert with my boyfriend Brandon and some of our friends. Brandon was driving the car, I was sitting beside him and our two friends were at the back. Out of nowhere a drunk driver hit our car. Brandon was unconscious for three days and had his left leg broken, our friends got away with scratches. I, on the other hand was the only heavily injured person in that accident. The car on my side was smashed in a tree. The right side of my body was smashed, my right leg was broken and so as my right arm. I had four broken ribs, a serious brain damage, internal bleeding. I was in a coma for two weeks and doctors didn't have much hope on me.

When I woke up, that's when hell unleashed it's venom.

I woke up in a hospital bed not remembering a single thing. I had memory loss. It took me five months to recognize Hannah as my sister, then puzzle my connection with Taylor because of our similar looks. It took another three months to remember who my parents were. A year after the accident I remembered my grandparents, my friends and people from school. My brother was a complete stranger to me for a year and a half. Then suddenly out of nowhere something triggered my memories and I remembered everything. I remembered who my brother was, his friends, my friends from Florida. I remembered everything about my life in Florida. And the memories of Jake hit me like a wave. That of course unlocked my undying feelings for him. You know, love can be quite annoying if you ask me.

My mind is so exhaused from all of that. Appointments with doctors are needed, neurologists and shit. Physical pain is a total bitch, but the emotional pain is a torture, something I hate to deal with.

"You're too quiet. Are you okay? Do you have a migrane?" Taylor asked again.

Migrane is an almost every day bitch I have to deal with thanks to the car crash, but damn, that stupid question if I was okay is definitely going to get me one.

"I'm good." I simply said and smiled like there's nothing bothering me.