Chapter 1: Farewells and meetings.
"Makoto, Haruka is your daughter! How can you say that I have been unfaithful to you? She is your spitting image!" – Clinging to my father's jacket, my mother cried a sea of tears before the indifferent gaze of the man who was supposed to be my biological father.
They say that all children are loved by their parents and that there is no greater blessing in a home than the arrival of a child into the family. But in my case, my birth had marked the beginning of the tragedy that my mother had to endure.
Born into an upper-middle class family in the city of Katsuura, Chiba. Harumi was the only daughter of the Yoshida family. Owners of a small factory producing spare parts for agricultural tractors, my mother's family had enjoyed relative economic stability until the early 1990s.
But with the arrival of the economic bubble, the value of the assets of the family business began to deteriorate to the point that loan refinancing was required; bringing their once well-off family to the point where they had to sacrifice their precious daughter for a marriage of convenience.
Along with the prosperous Yoshino family, a thriving but modest real estate trading family grew up in that same city, earning a name that could rival my mother's family. Descendants of a lineage that dated back to the period of the Sengoku era, the Watanabe had participated in the political life of Japan, going through countless transformations over time. Positioning itself as a prominent family until the Taisho era, with the outbreak of the Second World War the prosperous Watanabe dynasty suffered a setback that almost erased its past glory, barely recovering to the point where it was on par with the Yoshino.
With their fortune growing and faced with the need to form an heir to the family lineage, the Watanabe agreed to accept the marriage proposal from the Yoshino. Thus making Harumi the wife of Makoto, Ryutaro Watanabe's first-born son.
Thanks to that marriage, the Yoshinos' financial situation stabilized to the point of saving the small family business from the clutches of creditors. With the inherent cost of happiness for a young woman who had barely turned twenty years old and was forced to leave her high school boyfriend.
Even though it was a marriage of convenience, Makoto tried to behave like an exemplary husband to my mother. Trying to fulfill all her wishes during the first three years of marriage, filling her with luxuries and spending most of his little free time taking care of her.
But it was during the fourth year of marriage that the storm clouds came to the Watanabe house, knocking on the doors when my mother was pregnant.
While Makoto was on a business trip in Nagano, Mother received a letter with no return address at the Watanabe mansion. As soon as she read the contents of that mysterious paper, she ran off in an unknown direction before the astonished gaze of the servants who could not understand the situation.
When that reached Makoto's ears, immediately after finishing his work stay in Nagano he took a train to Chiba. Mortifying himself with every minute that passed just thinking about what could have happened to his wife to make her leave the mansion unexpectedly.
Arriving in Katsuura during the early hours of the night, Makoto hurried to the Watanabe mansion to hear from the servants what had happened. But those people loyal to the clan, far from giving her an impression of concern about the young lady, had an expression of annoyance and condemnation in their eyes.
- "Why don't you answer me? Doesn't anyone know where my wife has gone? It is already late at night and it is not safe for a woman to walk alone on the street!" - Putting his hands on his head in dismay , Makoto sat on the floor of the hallway that led to the mansion's backyard, while the housekeeper approached with a piece of paper that she extended reverently to her master.
- "What is this?"
- "This letter is what the young lady held in her hands when she left the mansion, young master. He dropped it as he was walking through the front door and I picked it up thinking it could be something important." – When Makoto read the content of the letter that the housekeeper gave him, the pale skin of his face lit up in a blood red tone as he tore the paper in his hands into pieces.
The next morning, my mother arrived at the Watanabe mansion with a gloomy face and an anguish that she could barely control was marked on her face. That afternoon when she left the mansion to meet her former boyfriend who was dying in the hospital, Harumi had acted impulsively without considering the consequences of her actions when it came to the young lady of the Watanabe family.
Although she was not in love with Makoto, my mother was aware that that young man had always behaved in an honorable and respectful manner towards her; giving her not only her place as lady of the house, but also taking care of all her needs as a woman.
- "Good morning Harumi" – Leaning against the door frame of the room behind my mother's back, Makoto had a crestfallen face as he gritted his teeth when he saw my mother's face.
Invaded by fear despite having not done anything to threaten Makoto's honor, mother lowered her face hesitantly, taking a few steps back while her husband approached, holding her tightly by the shoulders.
- "Makoto, let go of me. You are hurting me"
- "Do I hurt you Harumi? You really think I'm hurting you! "So what are you supposed to do to me?"
- "What do you mean Makoto?"
- "What do I mean? "Didn't you run out to meet your lover?"
- "That's a lie! "Do you really think I have been unfaithful to you?" – Keeping silent at my mother's words, Makoto turned his face, clicking his tongue while pushing her against the bed.
Snorting through his nose like a fighting bull, the young Watanabe heir began to break things inside the room before his mother's terrified gaze. Who put his hands to his head crying in fear of that man he had never seen behave like that.
After that day, the relationship between my mother and father deteriorated. The man who used to go out of his way to please his wife's needs, little by little became absent from the house to the point of barely visiting the mansion a couple of days a month. And during that brief time, he never paid attention to whoever his wife was. This caused the servants of the Watanabe house to begin to disrespect Harumi.
The maids who used to attend to her little by little behaved distantly, ignoring her needs, to the point that even part of her belongings began to disappear from the room.
Food in poor condition and even clothes torn by the mansion's guard dogs, the harassment of the servants knew no limits with my mother, who waited in silence as if she were carrying penance for disrespecting her husband.
When the day arrived when my mother gave birth to me, Makoto, who was always absent from the house, showed up in the room where mother was pushing with the help of the midwife for me to be born.
My maternal grandmother, who was present at the time, used to tell me that Makoto approached the midwife to hold me in her arms. In his own words, that face as hard as stone that barely showed any emotion, had a slight grimace of a smile that he soon hid again in his usual countenance.
That was the only moment in my life when the man I could have called my father considered me his daughter.
For four years after my birth, the atmosphere of the mansion changed somewhat favorably for my mother and me.
My paternal grandparents, who had despised my mother since the incident of the letter without a return address, little by little became closer to her through the family bond that the arrival of a new member to the family entails.
Thanks to the great resemblance she had to my father during her childhood, my mother's place as mistress of the Watanabe house was consolidated again to the point that the maids who at some time came to offend her were completely replaced by Makoto's mother. .
Yes, everything seemed to be falling into place once again for Harumi, who, despite maintaining the same distance from Makoto, felt great relief at feeling accepted by her husband's parents.
But all that changed on the day of my fifth birthday, when my father arrived at the mansion escorting a woman who was carrying a small baby boy in her arms.
That day the atmosphere in the mansion was busy from the early hours of the morning with the preparations for my birthday party. My maternal grandparents, who until a couple of years ago were absent, arrived that day with gifts for me and my mother, whom they couldn't stop hugging.
While I was walking alone through the garden under the shade of the old cherry tree, I saw my paternal grandmother talking on the phone behind one of the sliding doors in the hallway that led to the garden. His face looked distorted as if a strong oppression was reaching his chest, as he leaned against the wall, ending the call with heavy breathing.
- "Grandma, do you feel bad?" – Trying to reach it with my hands, I felt a cold rejection from Makoto's mother who gave me a sharp look that was about to make me cry. Seeing me startled by that incident, the former mistress of the Watanabe house sent for one of the maids to carry me in her arms to my room discreetly.
Ignorant of what was happening, I sat on my bed and hugged an old plush rabbit that my father had given me for my second birthday. Comforted by the aroma of that cloth animal, I dried my tears and went to the small dressing table in my room and fixed the locks of my hair, revealing my face.
- "It won't be long until dad arrives" – That was what I thought when I saw myself in the mirror while I fixed the collar of my dress and forced myself to draw a smile on my face to hide my sadness from the eyes of the family. That day was my birthday and possibly grandma was too busy with all the preparations; It was what I innocently thought, I really wanted to believe it that way.
But all that illusion collapsed at that moment when father entered accompanied by another woman who was not my mother and introduced her as the new Mrs. Watanabe. When I turned to look in the direction of where my mother was, Harumi's face could not hide her surprise as she placed her right hand on her chest, as if a stab had pierced her heart.
- "What is this about Makoto? "How is this woman the new lady of the house?"
- "It's just like you're listening to Harumi. "This woman in front of you is the new Mrs. Watanabe and the child she is carrying is my only legitimate child."
- "Your only legitimate son? Do you realize what you are saying Makoto?"
- "Yes, I am being quite clear about this. "This child is the only descendant who carries my blood in this room."
- "HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT! "So what is Haruka?" – Exploding in a deafening scream that shook the room where the birthday party was taking place, my mother hit the table causing the glasses to fall to the floor, breaking into a thousand pieces in front of my eyes.
Without knowing what was happening, I wanted to approach my father to take his hand. But instead of receiving the warmth of that man, a strong push made me sit down on the floor, making me cry from the pain.
- "Someone take this filthy thing and take it away from here!" – Pointing at me as if I were an animal, Makoto stared at me with his cold gaze, making me tremble with fear to the point that I couldn't contain myself and ended up wetting my dress.
- "You can't even keep your composure. It's obvious that you're not a Watanabe."
- "Damn fool! "She's just a little girl" – Burned with rage at what my father was doing to me, my mother's jealousy took over her and she slapped Makoto's face. Who, without considering that she was his legitimate wife, returned that blow, making her fall next to me.
- "This is how you treat your wife and daughter! Don't you have blood in your veins?
- "BE QUIET! "I don't want to hear a single word from a woman who has been unfaithful to me."
- "Unfaithful? How can you say that?" – Hugging me tightly to her chest, mother couldn't stop trembling with anger at Makoto, who smiled sarcastically as he took out an envelope from his jacket and threw it against my mother's face.
- "Have you already forgotten that you were unfaithful to me with your old boyfriend? While I went out of my way for you, while I killed myself to please you. You rolled around like a whore with him behind my back and gave birth to this filthy trash!"
"Makoto, Haruka is your daughter! How can you say that I have been unfaithful to you? She is your spitting image!"
- "My spitting image? Maybe you were able to fool everyone for the past four years while that brat was still little. Certainly children tend to look alike and that's why they said he had a great resemblance to me. But genetic tests don't lie! Look at the contents of the envelope" – As Makoto ordered, my mother opened that infamous envelope and took out the document it contained. While her eyes read each line of the medical report from the laboratory, the expression on my mother's face changed as she turned the pages until she reached the laboratory result.
- "This is a lie! Everything that is written here is false! I have never been with another man in bed other than your Makoto. This has to be a mistake."
- "You're right Harumi, it's all a big mistake. An error that has existed for five long years under my very nose and I called it daughter" – The words that Makoto pronounced so coldly while looking into my eyes, I felt how they penetrated deep into my small heart and I managed to understand them despite my short age.
For him, whom I considered my father, it was nothing more than a simple mistake. The product of the deception of a woman who had mocked him all that time.
The fragile spirit of the birthday party was completely broken , before the astonished gaze of all those present who did not stop observing my mother and me as if we were a pair of animals that had entered that place disturbing the order.
Supported by my maternal grandparents, we were helped to our feet as we left the Watanabe mansion immersed in the somber atmosphere of the accusatory glances cast by those attending the meeting.
Just a few days after that fateful incident, a lawyer arrived with divorce papers at my mother's family home. Showing a threatening attitude that made clear Makoto's stance of not giving a single cent to Harumi. On the contrary, he filed a claim for compensation for moral damage for the alleged infidelity.
That day I was hiding behind the railing of the stairs hugging the only toy I could take from the Watanabe house. My mother couldn't stop crying desperately while reading the divorce settlement documents, while my grandmother leaned on the kitchen table opening a bottle of medicine.
Carried away by the whirlwind of misfortunes, the grandmother fell ill without being able to recover in the hospital, while the police arrived a few days later at the house to arrest my grandfather, accusing him of fraud against the Watanabe family.
With grandfather in prison and grandmother dying in the hospital, my mother took me by the hand and walked me to the door of my father's family's mansion.
Prostrate on her knees with her forehead against the ground, Harumi begged the servants for Makoto to come and attend to her. Seeing the humiliation to which my mother was subjected, I screamed my father's name with all my might until my throat was about to tear from the effort. Even though my mother tried to contain me, the anger that grew in my heart at the heartless attitude of my father did not leave me alone.
- "Why don't you shut that brat up?" – Opening the main door of the mansion, my paternal grandmother had a defiant attitude on her face as she cast a cold gaze towards my mother and me. As if we were simple beggars who had come to bother them.
- "I want to see my father!"
- "Your father? There is no one here you can call father!"
- "Of course there is! I am Makoto Watanabe's daughter! And my mother didn't cheat on him. "He was the one who cheated on my mother!"
- "Insolent brat! "How dare you talk about my son like that?" – Throwing her hand against my face to slap me, Makoto's mother let out her anger against me. But at the moment his hand was about to hit my face, it was my mother's face that received that slap when she got in the way.
- "Mommy?"
- "I'm fine Haruka. Don't worry."
- "You should educate that insolent brat of yours better!"
- "If we talk about education, mother. No, Mrs. Watanabe. It is you who should educate your child. He may accuse me with lies that I deceived him, but he arrived with another woman and a son whom I call legitimate. While I still had the title of lady of the Watanabe house. If anyone is an infidel here with all cynicism, it is Makoto"
- "Damn liar"
- "Enough, mother. Please return to the mansion, from here I will take care of you" – Arriving behind the former Mrs. Watanabe, Makoto appeared with the same cold attitude that he had since the day of the birthday party.
Nothing had changed in his treatment of me and my mother, he remained indifferent as if he were dealing with the dirt on the soles of his shoes.
- "Makoto, I know you will never believe me. And I will not try to see you again from today, I assure you that you will never hear from me again. But please, if at any time you considered her your daughter; Have mercy on her at least. Don't abandon her" – With her face looking at the ground, my mother's voice broke with each word she uttered from her lips while tears did not stop rolling down her face.
Seeing that woman suffering to the point of taking her own soul to the grave due to sadness, I felt like my heart broke into pieces making me hug her and accompany her in her tears.
- "Take this and leave both of you" – In a last gesture of contempt for my mother, Makoto threw a wad of money against her head while she continued kneeling on the floor. When I looked up looking for the face of the one I once called father, I saw a mean smile on his face that made my blood run cold completely.
That last humiliation against my mother's honor was for me the end of my relationship with that man whom I could only despise from the depths of my heart.
After that day, Harumi and I left Katsuura bound for Tokyo; where we rented a small apartment from the 50's in the Edogawa district, with that unhealthy money that Makoto had slapped on our dignity.
As the years went by, my mother raised me in that sad apartment as a single mother. Being singled out by an indolent society, Harumi never complained about me or reproached me for anything. But his manner was distant, as if he was trying to avoid interacting with me as much as possible.
Despite the trash that Makoto spouted about not being his legitimate daughter, my face changed with age, little by little resembling the man who had mocked my mother's good heart.
Every time I looked in the mirror, I felt a growing anger to the point that I bit my lips in helplessness every day I got ready to go to school. While my mother took care of all my needs and went to work without even looking at me.
The few times we managed to meet each other, I could see in her eyes a feeling of pain and frustration that tormented her day after day. She knew that it was not my fault for being that man's daughter, but she could not help but feel in her heart those mixed feelings that made her face the fact that she felt like a bad mother.
Thus, ten years passed in which a mother and her daughter maintained an abysmal distance, despite being so close to each other. Those ten years were painful for me, but I bet they were even more painful for Harumi.
Maybe it may sound disrespectful for a daughter to refer to her mother by her name, but the truth is that I really respected her from the bottom of my heart. So much so, that I mentioned her beautiful name, for being the friend that I carried in the depths of my heart.
It was April 1st and a new school year was beginning, spring break passed in the blink of an eye and I became a third-year high school student. If I studied hard enough maybe I could have gotten a scholarship, but I was really thinking about getting a full-time job given the fact that money was running out.
- "I'm leaving Harumi. I will return as soon as I finish my part-time job" – Kneeling before a small altar, I brought my hands to my chest, bowing before the photo of my mother while burning some incense.
Due to the stress she suffered to support me in that city, Harumi deteriorated her health to the point that she gave her body to the earth the previous winter while I was in the end of my second year of high school.
In a cold hospital bed, the woman who had raised me alone for so long, took my hand one last time and after all those years of estrangement, looked into my eyes with her expression full of regret. As if I longed to go back in time to change things and recover that life that we let go through our fingers. And with a warm smile, he closed his eyes never to open them again in this world.
- "Thank you for everything, mother" – Getting up from that tatami floor, I left the apartment and took my bicycle to go to school once again.
The breeze of spring air hit my face as I pedaled hard, trying to get lost in my thoughts. Trying not to think about the pain that my mother's absence brought me just a few months after seeing her die.
It was then that while I was absorbed in my thoughts, a plump silhouette lunged at my face, making me fall off the bicycle and roll on the ground.
- "But what the hell was that?" – Trying to clear my vision due to the immense pain that I had in my head as a result of the blow, I felt the abrasions on my knees that made me let out a moan of pain as soon as the air touched the raw flesh.
- "Didn't anyone teach you how to drive, brat?"
- "Excuse me? An object hit me in the face and I fell off my bike. Why are you angry?"
- "Object? "How shameless!" – When I was finally able to clearly see the source of that shrill voice, I realized that it was a brown cat with a horn protruding from its forehead.
- "Is a cat talking to me?" – Due to the impression that that caused on me, I fainted on the sidewalk before the astonished gaze of the people who were watching me as I passed by.