Revelations

CYRIL

Naninibago ako kay Athena. She's so silent. Pagkagising ko palang kanina, hindi niya na ako kinakausap. I know it has something to do with what happened yesterday but I don't know how to explain it to her.

"Dalian mo na diyan, iho. Kanina ka pa hinihintay ng fiancee mo sa labas." tumango ako sa sinabi ni Manang. Nakabalik na pala siya, kaninang umaga lang.

Lumabas ako ng bahay at agad na hinanap ng mata ko si Athena. Nakatayo lang siya at hindi niya ako nilingon.

I have no choice but to use my motorbike. Wala kasi ang kotse ko. Nasira dahil sa nangyari kahapon.

Kaagad ko iyong kinuha at dinala palapit sa kaniya. I stared at her pero pilit siyang umiiwas ng tingin.

"C-Can you ride this?"

Tumango siya ng hindi parin ako tinitignan. Sumikip ang dibdib ko. Takot na ba siya sa akin ngayon? Does what happened yesterday night just a dream? Yung pag i love you niya sa akin pabalik, panaginip lang ba yun?

I sighed. Sumakay na ako at ramdam ko namang sumakay na din siya. I want to tell her to hold on me but I can't. Natatakot ako.

Kaya ganon na lang ang gulat ko ng siya mismo ang yumakap sa akin. She wrapped her arms around my waist.

Napalunok ako bago tuluyang nagsalita. "L-Love..."

I heard her sighed. "Let's go. Baka malate pa tayo."

Gusto ko siyang yakapin. Gustong gusto ko siyang halikan. But I didn't do it. Maybe she needed some time. Just maybe...

....

Hanggang sa makarating kami sa school, tahimik parin siya. Bumaba siya ng motor ko at dire diretsong naglakad paloob.

I deeply sighed. Pinark ko ang motor bago siya sinundan. I put my both hands on my pocket.

And as usual, marami na namang nakatingin sa akin but I didn't mind them. Hinanap ng mata ko si Athena and I immediately saw her.

Kaagad na kumunot ang noo ko ng makita siyang kausap si Coraline. Nagmamadali ko silang pinuntahan.

Mukha namang nakita ako ng Coraline na papalapit pero hindi ko siya pinansin. Tumabi ako kay Athena and I possessively snaked my arms around her waist.

Nalipat ang tingin ni Coraline doon bago umiwas ng tingin.

"Ano ba kasing kailangan mo? Bat mo ko nilapitan?" tanong ni Athena.

Tinignan naman ni Coraline si Athena. "Ahhhh...nothing. I was just going to ask kung kamusta ang bakasyon niyo sa resort nila Christian."

Hindi nakaligtas sa paningin ko ang pag ikot ng mata ni Athena. "That's none of your business."

Mukha namang napahiya siya. "I...I'm sorry."

"Can't you just leave?" malumanay na tanong ko. Nalipat sa akin ang tingin niya at ganon din si Athena. "Nakaharang ka kasi sa dadaanan namin."

Agad naman siyang gumilid. "Ohh. I'm sorry again"

Nagsimula na akong maglakad at ganun din si Athena. Pinanatili ko ang kamay kung nakapulupot sa beywang niya.

Pero hindi pa man kami nakakalayo, may biglang humawak sa braso ko kaya napatigil ako.

I look at my back. It was her. She's looking at me intently pero walang emosyon ko siyang tinignan.

Napatigil din si Athena ng maramdaman niyang tumigil ako. Sumilip din siya at nakita ko ang pagkuyom ng kamao niya ng makitang nakahawak sa braso ko si Coraline.

Tinanggal ko ang pagkakakapit niya sa braso ko. "What do you need?" this time, malamig na ang boses ko at wala ng malumanay doon.

She glanced at Athena before looking at me again. "W-What's between you t-two?"

Nagtangis ang bagang ko sa tanong niya. I was about to answer when someone spoke. "He's my husband."

Mabilis akong napatingin kay Athena and she's also looking at me, softly. Kinuha niya ang kamay kung nasa beywang niya and she intertwined it with hers.

Akala ko titigil na si Coraline sa sagot ni Athena but she didn't. "H-Husband?" nagulat na lang ako ng hilahin niya ang kamay ko na hawak ni Athena.

What the hell?!

"B-But he's not wearing any ring. You're lying."

Mabilis kung hinala ang aking kamay na hawak niya pero hindi niya yun binitawan. Mas humigpit pa ang kapit niya doon. "What the fuck?! Let go of me!"

"Cyril, it's me. Hindi mo na ba ako naaalala? It's me, Coraline. Didn't Tita promise to get us married when we grow up?" nalipat ang tingin niya kay Athena. "You liar. Why did you say that Cyril is your husband?! He's not yours, he is mine."

Nanlaki ang mata ko sa sinabi niya. Pabalibag kong hinila ng malakas ang kamay ko. Nagulat naman siya sa ginawa ko. "Shut up!!"

Tinignan ko si Athena at nakatulala din siya. Hinawakan ko ang dalawang kamay niya. "Love please listen to me first." bulong ko pero parang wala siyang narinig. Nanatili siyang tulala na nakatingin kay Coraline.

"Athena, baby."

"Cyril just tell her the truth. When I first saw you, gustong gusto na kitang lapitan but I was waiting for you to make a move. Then I saw you sweet to each other, sumabay pa nga siya sayo pauwi. I was so mad! Like, why is my fiance being sweet to another girl and a bitch like he-"

Napahinto ako ng hilahin ni Athena ang kamay niyang hawak ko at sinampal si Coraline.

And two times. Left and right.

Damn! She looks livid while Coraline looks shocked. Napahawak siya sa pisngi niyang namumula.

"I knew it. Sabi na nga ba that you're just a wolf hiding in a sheep's clothing. I must say that you're a great actress, you almost make me believe that you are good and kind. Buti na lang pala hindi ako ganun kadaling mapaniwala." Athena pointed her. "And if you think that you can get Cyril from me then think again. You need to cross over my dead gorgeous sexy body bago mo siya makuha sa akin."

Athena steps forward. She steps near her. "Remember this bitch, he is mine and mine. Alone." then she turned her back at her and walked away from her.

Nakay Athena lang ang tingin ko at agad akong napalunok ng masama siyang tumingin sa akin. "Follow me, mag uusap tayo." muli akong napalunok sa talim ng boses niya.

Naglakad na siya at susunod na sana ako ng bigla na namang nagsalita si Coraline. Damn!

"No! Cyril please don't leave me here."

I firmly closed my eyes and took a deep heavy breath. I didn't face her pero sumagot ako sa sinabi niya. "Stop, Coraline. Don't test my patience, hindi mo alam kung anong kaya kong gawin."

And that made her angrier. "Really?! Well Cyril, you know what I can do and I know that it can make you miserable."

Hindi ko napigilan ang sariling harapin siya at mahigpit kung hinawakan ang kanang braso niya. "Try to do anything stupid then I won't think twice to destroy you." bulong ko sa kaniya at pabalibag na binitawan ang kaniyang braso.

Yes, I know what she can do but I don't give a fuck! She can hurt me but not Athena. Hindi ko siya hahayaan. Magkakamatayan kami at kahit babae siya, hindi ako magdadalawang isip na saktan siya pag dinamay niya si Athena.

I sighed and composed myself first before going back to Athena. Nakakuyom parin ang kamay niya at halatang halata na galit siya.

Dahan dahan ko siyang nilapitan at hinawakan ang kaniyang kamay. Kaagad siyang lumingon sa akin at nakataas ang dalawang kilay niya.

"Bat ang tagal mo?" mahina pero nakakakilabot na sabi niya. I tried to smile pero napunta yun sa pagngiwi. "Inaway ko pa kasi siya, mahal."

She tsked and rolled her eyes. "Inaway? Talaga lang ah. Eh kung tama yung naaalala ko, mukhang takot na takot ka nung una siyang dumating sa school." sarkastiko niyang sabi.

I pout. "Mahal naman eh!" saad ko pero inirapan niya lang ulit ako. "Tara na nga." sabi niya at hinawakan na rin ang kamay ko. Hindi ko tuloy maiwasang mapangiti.

Bat ang moody yata ng soon to be asawa ko?

Kaninang umaga hindi niya ako kinakausap tapos sa motorbike bigla naman siyang yumakap tapos kanina galit siya tapos ngayon pakiramdam ko ang hindi niya ako matiis. Ewan ko ba but I don't care about that anymore. Ang importante, okay na kami.

'Okay? Did you already forget what happened yesterday? She just saw you killing someone!'

Para akong nabuhusan ng malamig na tubig dahil sa binulong ng isip ko. I swallowed and stops walking. Tumigil din naman siya at nilingon ako. "Why?"

I immediately shakes my head. "N-Nothing."

Pero hindi siya naniwala sa sinabi ko. She walks near me and caress my cheeks. "What is it, baby?"

Sinubukan kung ibahin ang usapan. "I was just thinking, pag kinuha ba ako ni Coraline, ibibigay mo ko sa kaniya?"

"Shit!" agad akong napahimas ang ulo ko ng batukan niya ako. "Hindi ka ba nakikinig sa akin kanina?! Diba sabi ko hindi kita ibibigay sa kaniya dahil pagmamay ari kita. Akin ka. Akin lang."

Parang tumalon ang puso ko sa sinabi niya. Fuck, Cyril! That is so gay!

I smirk. "Hell yeah. Sayo lang ako. From the top of my head to the very tip of my toe. It's all yours."

Mas lumawak ang pag ngisi ko ng ngumiti siya. Napakaganda niya. "Alam ko. Ikaw pa ba, eh patay na patay ka sakin!"

Natatawa akong napailing. "I know. Yeah, I'm so whipped by you, baby."

Napatawa rin siya at inangkla sa braso ko ang kaniyang kamay. "Tara na nga! Masyado mo na akong pinapakilig pero hindi ibig sabihin nun na nakakalimutan ko na ang kasalanan mo."

"Kasalanan? What did I do?"

"Anong 'what did I do' ka diyan! You still need to explain what's between you and that thick-faced bitch!"

I sighed. "Opo. Don't worry, I'll explain it later. I promise."

She patted my hand. "Dapat lang. Tara na, hindi pwedeng hindi tayo pumasok."

.....

ATHENA

We're at his room. He's leaning on the headboard of his bed while I was sitting in front of him. Kakauwi lang namin galing school and he told me na magkwekwento na raw siya tungkol kay Coraline. And me, being curious, and of course para malaman ko rin kung ano ba talagang mayroon sa kanila ng babaeng yun, agad akong nakinig sa kaniya.

"She's my old fiancee." pag uumpisa niya. Yun pa lang ang sinasabi niya pero agad ng nag init ang ulo ko. But I still did control myself.

"Magkababata kaming lima nila Brent, Michael, Christian, ako at si Coraline. Magkakaibigan kasi ang parents nila at sila Mommy kaya ang ending, naging magkakaibigan din kami. I grew up being close to them at nasanay na akong nasa tabi ko sila. But with Coraline, it's different. Mas close ako sa kaniya to the point na halos hindi na kami mapaghiwalay na dalawa. Napansin yun ng mga magulang namin and they promised that they will get us married when we're at the right age." he stopped and sighed. "But then, she left. Iniwan niya kami. Iniwan niya ako ng walang paalam. I don't know where did she go or what happen to her. Nagtanim ako ng sama ng galit sa kaniya until that anger melts away and turn to nothingness."

"I just realized that, wala namang patutunguhan kung magagalit ako sa kaniya. She doesn't even know it so why bother, right?"

He again, sighed. Pero mas malalim na. "Maniniwala ka ba sakin kung sasabihin kung palakaibigan at palangiti ako noon? Na madalas kaming maglarong lima at ang kulit kulit namin? Especially me. Would you believe me if I say that I'm not like this before? But I change when she left. Once in a blue moon na lang ata kung ngumiti ako. I seldom laugh. Madalas din akong wala sa bahay. I'm usually at the bar or at the streets, fighting with someone else. Pati sila Michael ay nanibago sa akin."

Parang nanikip ang dibdib ko sa sinabi niya. Hindi ko alam na ganun pala kalalim ang pinagsamahan nila ng Coraline na yun. Pati pala sila Michael, Brent at Christian, kababata niya rin. "Malaki ang pinagbago ko simula ng araw na iwan niya ako. Kahit sila Michael ay madalang ko ng kausapin, but thanks to them kasi kahit madalas ko silang awayin at masigawan, hindi parin nila ako iniwan. Unlike her that just left without an explanation."

"I confess, I did loved her." namasa ang mata ko sa sinabi niya. He loved her?

Hinawakan niya ang magkabila kung kamay. "But that's already in the past. Dahil ngayon, ikaw na ang mahal ko. Ikaw lang, Athena. Ikaw ang fiancee ko at ikaw lang ang pakakasalan ko."

"P-Promise?"

Walang pag aalinlangan siyang tumango at hinalikan ang likod ng aking kamay. "I swear to God, I promise."

Huminga ako ng malalim before I caress his cheeks. "I trust you."

Nagulat na lang ako ng bigla niya akong hawakan sa batok at hinila papalapit sa kaniya. And at the blink of an eye, he crashed his lips on mine.

I closed my eyes. He kissed me passionately and deeply. It feels so good. His lips on mine feels so good... So addictive. And I kiss him back with the same ferocity.

Our tongue battled and teased each other before our lips parted from each other.

Hinihingal kong minulat ang aking kamay at nasalubong ko ang tingin niya sa akin. Tulad ko, hinihingal din siya but his eyes, there's something in his eyes that I can't name.

"Damn it." he whispered, still catching his breath. "Why when in comes to you, I can't seems to control myself?"

"W-What do you mean?"

"I'm lusting over you, Athena. I want you."

My mouth literally opened because of what he said. I suddenly feels so hot. What the hell is this?!

"C-Cyril..."

Mariin niyang pinikit ang mata at malakas na bumuntong hininga. "We can't. I know we can't." he opens his eyes and stared at me deeply. "I'll wait. I'll wait after our wedding."

I'm speechless. I know I'll give it kung hihilingin niya. But he didn't. Maghihintay siya..means, "Thank you...thank you for respecting me and not forcing me to do it."

He shakes his head and kiss my forehead. "It's because I love you. Kaya kong tiisin lahat para sayo."

A tear escaped from my eyes. "To be treasured like this..." nginitian ko siya ng matamis kahit may luhang tumutulo sa mata ko. "thank you, Cyril."

Tinuyo niya ang luhang nasa pisngi ko bago pinagsalikop ang kamay naming dalawa. "I still have so much to tell you. Will you listen to me?"

Without hesitation, I nodded. "I will. We have a long long night. You can tell me everything, I will listen."

Cyril sighed. "But promise me one thing." madiin niya akong tinitigan. "Don't run away from me...please."

I don't want to think too much pero parang alam ko na kung anong gusto niyang sabihin. Is what he's about to say have something to do with the accident yesterday?

Nakita ko ang pag aalinlangan sa kaniyang mga mata kaya umusod ako papalapit sa kaniya. Tumalikod ako at isinandal ang aking likuran sa kaniyang dibdib. I get his hand and wrapped it around my waist. Mahigpit kung hinawakan yun and I whispered, "I promise, hangga't kaya kong intindihin ang mga sasabihin mo, iintindihin kita."

"Okay." malalim niyang sabi sabay buntong hininga. Mukhang kinakabahan talaga siya. Ganon ba kagrabe ang sasabihin niya para kabahan siya ng ganito? I have an idea but I don't want to assume. I don't want to judge him though he looks so skilled in fighting yesterday. I know he have his reasons.

At yun ang maririnig ko ngayon.

"I..."

Bumuntong hininga ako at pinatong ang kamay ko sa kamay niyang nasa beywang ko. I hope in this way, he can calm himself.

"It's okay, baby. Don't be scared."

He again, sighed. "Uhm...I...ahh...I..."

"Cyril-"

"I killed someone yesterday." Cyril blurted out. "Not just one, not two but many. I k-know you saw it. You're there and you s-saw me killed someone. I...I've done it a lot of times already. Ni hindi ko na nga mabilang kung ilan na ang buhay na...ang buhay na tinapos ko."

Wala akong nagawa kundi ang matulala sa inamin niya. "I killed people, Athena. I'm a monster."

I tried to calm myself. Come on, Athena. You don't want to judge him, right? Then don't show him that you're scared. I know he have reasons. And I know that he is a good person.

Sa mga panahong nakasama ko siya, alam kung mabait siya at mapagmahal. I also know that he won't hurt. Malaki ang tiwala ko sa kaniya. And if he's a bad person...then why would he always saves me...protect me...

And love me...

Simula nung nagkaaminan kami o nung kahit hindi pa man kami nag kakaaminan, he always shows that he cares about me. Kaya napakaimposibleng masama siyang tao. Because a bad person don't have a heart but he does...mahal niya nga ako eh.

At first, I sighed and faced him. Nakakagulat, oo, natural naman na yun pero hindi ako mababaw na tao. Hindi ko siya iiwan dahil lang diyan. I want to love him for who he is. I will accept his flaws and everything about him.

"Any normal person would be running away from me after knowing who I really am, not looking at me...so lovingly." he whispered.

But I smiled. "H-Hindi ka ba natatakot sa akin?" nagtataka nitong tanong. "You should be running away from me."

"Gusto mo bang tumakbo ako palayo sayo?"

He hugged me tighter and pulled me closer. "No. Please don't."

"Then I won't."

"Bakit?" naguguluhan niyang tanong. "Athena, pumatay ako ng tao at pumapatay parin ako. I kill them with these hands. With these bare hands!" tinanggal pa nito ang kamay na nakapulupot sa beywang ko at ipinakita sa harapan ko. "Hindi mo ba naiintindihan yun?! Hindi mo ba naiinitindihan kung anong klase akong tao?! No, I don't even consider myself as a human anymore. I'm a monster, Athena. I killed hundreds? Thousands? Hindi ko na alam, Athena. Now, tell me, would you still love me? Would you still marry me even though I'm a bad person? Matatanggap mo pa ba ako? Handa ka pa bang alagaan ako at intindihan ako pagtapos ng lahat ng nalam-"

I didn't let him finish his sentence. Agad ko siyang hinawakan sa pisngi at mariing hinalikan. At sinigurado kong sa halik na to, mararamdaman niya kung gaano ko siya kamahal at kong gaano ko siya tanggap.

It last a minute before I let go of him. Shock is plastered all over his face. I stared at him softly but I didn't let go of his face. "Listen to me..." pabulong kung sabi. "Mamahalin parin kita kahit ikaw na ang pinakamasamang tao sa buong mundo."

I caress his cheeks and kiss him in his temple. "Tanggap kita, Cyril. And yes, pakakasalan parin kita. Walang magbabago doon." nakita ko kung paano namasa ang kaniyang mga mata. "I'm not scared of you. Alam mo kung ano yung nakakatakot?"

"A-Ano?"

"Yun ay ang mawala ka sa akin." I whispered bago ko isandal ang aking noo sa kaniya. I closed my eyes. "Honestly, yeah I'm scared..." mahina akong natawa at napakagat sa pang ibaba kung labi. "Nanginginig ang buong katawan ko dahil sa inamin mo. But I'm not running away...dahil baka pag tumakbo ako palayo sayo, baka hindi ka na magpakita sa akin o baka hindi na kita makita ulit. That's scarier, Cyril. Mas nakakatakot yun."

"Kaya heto ako ngayon sa iyong harapan, accepting everything about you. I will do my best to understand and accept all of you. The good or the bad, I don't care. Give it all to me. Mas gusto ko yun. In that way, I can know you more."

I open my eyes as my heart keeps beating fast. "Athena..." sobrang lumanay na tawag niya sa pangalan ko. He's staring at me with his teary eyes.

Ito ba? Ito ba ang taong masama? Definitely not.

"I love you for who you are and that...will never change."