The same Alex

"Where's Ken? Miyah said he was supposed to come with us," Alex asked me.

He is talking to me?

"They had a sudden meeting, so he couldn't make it," I replied weakly. I couldn't look directly at him because I knew my tears could surface at any moment.

After that, he never asked me again. His attention was focused on Miyah.

I should be the one with him!

We planned to rest tonight and enjoy tomorrow since our travel was long. Miyah and Alex were watching TV while teasing each other. I can still remember our last stay here...

Flashback.

"Just give me the remote! I don't like basketball!" I complained to Alex.

"No, pumpkin! You should know the basketball players to—"

"No! I said no!! Blablablabla—"

He kissed me. That's why I stopped talking. I felt embarrassed. I hadn't even brushed my teeth yet.

"Good!" He smirked because he interrupted my acting.

The night grew old, and we enjoyed our favorite cartoon, "Tom and Jerry."

"I love you!" he suddenly said while we were watching TV. I didn't respond because it felt awkward. "I said I love you..." he repeated and turned to face me.

"I love you once," he kissed my forehead. "I love you twice," he kissed the tip of my nose. "I love you thrice," he kissed both of my cheeks. "And I will love you forever!" He kissed my lips so gently. We enjoyed the night together passionately.

We only went as far as kissing; we were still just teenagers.

End of flashback.

I can't stand watching them being so sweet. It breaks my heart more and more. So, I grabbed a canned beer from the fridge. I stepped outside the villa and walked towards the beach. Happy memories from the past are now painful for me. Honestly, I am tormenting myself. Alex is happy with Miyah, and I'm left hanging, frustrated, and devastated.

I was the one who ended things, but why am I the one who can't let go?

I hurt him in the past, and it may be the only way for him to forget everything. We were just teenagers back then, and what we had was merely puppy love. A puppy love that, for him, never existed.

The moon is bright, and the stars are shining and smiling at me. But why can't I smile? I sipped the last drop of beer and lay down on the sand. I checked my watch; it was already 11 in the evening. All I could hear was the sea breeze. The place is so silent that I feel so alone. Tears rushed from my eyes. I couldn't stop them.

Why?

How are you, Alex?

I've missed you for years.

Is it so easy for you to forget everything?

We shared a lot of memories back then!

You let me go so easily!

You never chased after me after that day. Why?

Why did you agree?

You're stupid, Alex!

I just got the payment for my actions...

I sobbed. There are so many things I want to say to him, but I can't.

Yeah, I was wrong. But is it really necessary to act like you don't know me?

Why Miyah? Why her?

Is fate being too stubborn to hurt me too much?

I'm overthinking. My eyes are swollen. The beach got colder, so I decided to go back to the room.

Fast forward.

We just dipped in the sea and played beach volleyball the whole morning. We are now in front of the bonfire, and Jajas suggested playing "Truth or Dare."

"Why not play Truth or Dare?" Jajas suggested.

"Yeah! That's a nice idea!" Miyah agreed while sitting next to Alex. Their arms are entwined, which makes me jealous once more.

"It should be great since we don't really share our secrets, right?" Dian said excitedly.

"Call!" Mitch agreed, too.

Truth or Dare? No!!

"Can I just be the spinner?" I tried to make an excuse.

"Hey! You're such a killjoy, Sissy! It's just us, and it's just for fun!" Miyah interrupted.

"You can choose between Truth or Dare, but if you can't fulfill the dare... one shot of tequila!" Jajas stood up while explaining the mechanics excitedly.

"Call!" they all said except for me and Alex, who just smiled.

This game is terrible. Really?

"Okay! Okay! Let's spin," Mitch happily said. "Miyah!" She pointed to Miyah.

"Oh! Me already?" Miyah blushed as she looked at Mitch.

"Truth or Dare?" Mitch asked with excitement.

It was clear from Miyah's face that she was unsure about her choice. "Dare?" Miyah hesitated.

"Oh! I thought truth, I was ready with my question! Tss!" Dian regretfully said.

"Make a torrid kiss with Patrick!" Jajas quickly said. "It's okay, right, Patrick? You two are a couple anyway," she asked Alex. Patrick just laughed while facing Miyah.

"Oh, how about that? Aren't you going to do your friends' request?" Alex teased.

This shouldn't be happening! It feels like I'm being killed watching them, and now, looking at both of them kissing passionately? Wtf!

"Miyah! Miyah! Miyah!" They all chanted, teasing them.

"Real quick, okay?" Miya shyly said. She closed her eyes while kissing Alex.

"Wooh! Get a room!" Dian, Mitch, and Jajas shouted.

I didn't know what to feel, so I pretended someone was calling. I stood up and excused myself.

"I'll be back, okay? Ken's calling," I lied.

It felt like my heart was breaking as I watched them. So, I stayed away for a while because I needed to compose myself. I shouldn't be acting like this in front of Miyah, in front of Alex. They spun several more times before I came back. I chose many dares, but I opted to drink alcohol each time. I wanted to drown myself in alcohol right now. I needed an ally.

Why am I suffering like this?

The bottle pointed at me again. I don't know, maybe because of the alcohol, so I chose truth. Miyah was the one to ask me.

"Tell us about Mr. Changer!" Miyah said excitedly. I was already feeling dizzy from the tequila shots. It was too strong for someone like me with a low tolerance.

I saw Alex pause for a while. He was listening.

"Come on, spill the beans!" Miyah urged. She seemed flushed, probably from the drinks.

"He's responsible! He's as handsome as always," I laughed.

"Drop name, please!" Dian and Jajas teased.

"Ssh! Let her be," Miyah said.

"He's someone who needs to be loved the way he wants to be!" I broke down, and that made them silent. "I miss him so much!" I knew I was getting carried away with the alcohol, and I just wanted Alex to know that I still loved him.

"What about Ken?" Mitch asked. "Don't you love him?" she added.

"I do! But I just can't forget him. I'm still stuck in the past. I'm still in love with the same Alex until now!" I said directly while tears started streaming down my face.

Did he hear that? Why does it seem like he has no reaction?

"Alex? You have the same name?" Miyah asked in surprise.

What!? Miyah didn't know that her boyfriend's name was also Alex. How is that possible?

"Yeah! That's why I can't forget him because I remember him every day!" I locked eyes with Alex. He was listening, I could tell.

"What's going on? Let's not get emotional here," Mitch interjected. "This game is supposed to be fun. Come on, let's spin again!" she said, cutting off the emotional atmosphere. I knew she was just worried about me.

"It's okay, Sissy! Don't cry!" Miyah said. She approached me and hugged me. I cried even more because I couldn't tell her the truth.

We spun a few more times until we decided to rest. Mitch, Jajas, and Dian were already asleep, overwhelmed by alcohol. Miyah was also drunk, so Alex carried her back to the villa. I decided to stay a little longer on the beach. I've become so emotional lately. I was watching the bonfire, the same spot where Alex and I were six years ago.

I liked you, Alex!

That confession was my favorite. Everything here is tearing me apart. I'm suffocating.

Every time I call you ugly, that means you are the most beautiful woman in my eyes... When I said you're stupid, I was referring to myself, and I can't even express how much I like you.

I miss those days he used to annoy me.

I took the keychain from my pocket and read what was written there again.

"I know you'll get tired of loving me someday, but I promise I'll love you eternally."

I cried and cried. I couldn't control myself. The weight of my feelings was overwhelming.

Eternally? How? He's happy now with Miyah!

"You should go back to your room, Alex. You're drunk!" A familiar voice made my heart skip a beat. He handed me a comforter. When I looked up, I only saw his back.

...to be continued.