Realization (1)

"AH!"

Bam!

I shout after falling off my horse. Unfortunately, I couldn't cushion my fall with my buttocks as my head landed on the ground first. Anyone could tell how strong the impact was. Especially me, who experienced it first-hand.

I see the whole world circling around me and hear one of my older brothers shouting my name.

"Nera!"

"Nera...?" I whisper.

Is that who I am?

Huh...?

Wait, why am I questioning my own name? The name which I've been called for 18 years?

I ask in my head as it continues to spin my vision, wincing in pain.

And suddenly, several unfamiliar images flash in my mind, adding to the already painful experience, but this time instead of physical, it was mental.

"Ugh..." I groan, attempting to keep my eyes open but to no avail, I failed.

"...Jessica!" is the last thing I hear before I completely collapse, succumbing to the darkness.

***

["Jessica. You're gonna be late for your last class if you don't start getting ready."]

Huh? Whose voice is that? It sounded soft, but strict.

["Captain! We'll miss you so much! Thank you for all these years!"]

...How adorable, but who are these people? And why do I feel warm and cozy?

["We'll still be friends even when we have different colleges right?"]

Who...are they?

["Of course! Whoever leaves this group gets a hit on the head!"]

I lightly chuckle at the sentence... Such a fuzzy feeling wraps around my chest.

But it immediately turns dark, cold, and grim. Removing all the light, fully embracing the dim black color.

["Jes...? Jes! Why would you do that?!"]

["Jessica...! No!"]

["Please! Don't leave us... Jessica..."]

...Jessica.

Who is this Jessica?

Me?

But my name is Nera.

Nera mi Ponterise.

The third and only daughter of the Marquess Ponterise household.

But why do I feel so much despair in hearing that name...?

***

"Ha!" I gasp, breathing deeply as my lungs longed for air, desperately.

While regaining my clear vision and filling up my chest with the much-needed air, I immediately rose up, tugging the clothes on my hurting chest tightly. I continue for a whole minute before I calmed down a little, realizing what I was doing.

"...I died?" I whisper under my breath.

Bullshit. Why would I die from that fall? Sure, it was a heavy fall, but the most I could get was a concussion.

Right after those words ran through my mind, my head, covered in bandages, suddenly winces.

Chuckling in pain, I mumble, "Yeah, that's right. I'm alive right now."

My hands swiftly move around my body to check for other injuries I sustained from the fall. Other than my head which is in major physical pain and a few bruises on my arms, nothing is comparable to the pain I am feeling in my chest.

Do I have a heart problem now?

I instantly glance around my surroundings.

A simple yet wide room surrounded by white marble walls. Two windows show the dark night sky outside, letting the moonlight shine inside. A soft large bed and by its side, grandiose cabinets and drawers having the same shade as the wall's color. Swords, both metal and wooden, were neatly placed on its rack.

It's my room. I'm sure I'm in my room right now.

But what was that image?

A small room, only fit for one person, with a small bed with one closet and a drawer. Beside it, there was a glass cabinet full of what seemed golden cups and papers with a name on them. A ball with the color blue and yellow is lying on the top of the drawer. A small screen that showed multiple colors at once with moving humans and whatnot inside of it.

That was also my room, wasn't it?

I scoff at my own question. I already know the answers, after all. That 'dream' answers it for me.

Jessica Magiting.

The second child of the family, with an older brother and younger sister, along with two loving parents.

The Magitings, a family with an active lifestyle. Her father was a gym trainer in their local gym, while her mother was a retired ballerina, who then became a ballet teacher. Her brother was a varsity basketball player in his university and her younger sister was a member of their school's dance club.

No different from them since their activeness spread in their genes, Jessica was the Captain of the girl's volleyball club in her high school, but as a graduating student, she had been accepted and given a scholarship for their volleyball team, in the same university her older brother went to.

Her choice, of course, was Sports Science, to become either a pro or a coach.

At least she was supposed to be.

I was that Jessica.

The Jessica that had black raven hair and dark brown eyes who lived in a country called the Philippines.

She was no different from Nera, who I am today.

The Nera that has dark purple hair with sky blue eyes, and light brown skin, is now living in an Empire called Quintesse.

Although I was born as a prestigious noble, typically elegant and delicate, the family I have is similar to Jessica's family, an equivalent for a different world.

The Marquess Ponterise family, one of the founding families of the Empire, is considered one of the swords of the Quintesse Empire. Since such a title was given to the household, the people in it had to uphold its honor.

The woman married into the household could be a typical noble lady, but every child born in the household is to be appointed as a knight. Being a daughter is no exception.

This is no problem for me, I love to practice swinging my sword, competing with my two older brothers, and training to be a knight.

As much as I loved playing volleyball and teaching it to my juniors.

"Pfft..." I snicker at my 'dream'.

No, what dream?

Clearly, memories from my past, right before I reincarnated in this world.

As realization dawns on me, the snicker turned into a loud and boisterous laugh, with tears flowing down my cheeks.

As an attempt to stop emotions from overflowing, calloused hands found their way to my face, covering it tightly.

But ultimately fails. After arranging the thoughts with my newly found memories as the 18-year-old Jessica Magiting, I couldn't help but cry.

"Mama... Papa..." I spoke softly calling out to my previous parents.

"Kuya... Anika..." I mumble to my older brother and my younger sister.

Talking to the winds, uselessly filling the silence in the room with my feeble attempts to bring them back.

To bring me back to them, to that life I know that I lost.

"Sorry, I left you so early... I'm so sorry..."

I whisper repeatedly like an endless mantra, hoping they could hear it from where they were. From where I lived as Jessica.

But no matter how hard I try to rationalize it, no grasp of the mixed realities inside my mind, and confusion keeps on piling up. To completely numb the pain, trying to, at least. As a response to this agony, I incessantly cry. Weep. Sob.

For the whole midnight.

The whole day.

The whole month.

And without noticing, I stayed like this for a whole year.