1 Will To Live (Prologue)

Reincarnation...

The idea of another life past death, one offering the freshest of starts by starting as a newborn or some sort of living entity.

By the modern era such an aspect had become commonly associated with a regular person having no special characteristics whatsoever waking up in a world full of magic and violence. Granted some mystical boon as a means of spiting the poor villains of said new world.

No matter how bad the reincarnated one performs, the world itself saves them at the brink of death. Maidens swoon, falling head over heels, divine artifacts fall from the sky into their hands.

Isn't it disgusting? The world is truly cruel and not everything goes your way. No matter how good one is, sacrifices must be made and companions will be lost due to forces beyond one's power.

Everything has a consequence and an equal price.

Welcome to a world akin of a rose. Beautiful and vibrant as it is, thorns laced with despair would sink pain onto those who hold it carelessly.

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Sitting atop an outcrop jutting from a mountain was a small green skinned creature. Its eyes were a deep shade of emerald, reflecting the splendor of the setting sun.

A bald head in tandem with an ugly face thanks to a big nose. It didn't help that his ears were elfish but crooked. Elven like triangular ears sagging down like crescents.

It was a goblin, a special one if to be specific.

Unlike any other goblin this one did not have the usual mind of one. Since trapped in that inhumanly unaesthetically pleasing form was a former human.

"I hate it..." Said the goblin.

"I hate whatever force took me into this world." Grimacing, the green skinned menace's scowl made him even more unpleasing to the human eye, scary even.

His memories twisted and turned inside his head. Growing clearer and clearer the more he thought of his past life. The former man now turned goblin's name was Grant Simmons. His life wasn't normal as he was a felon.

A part of a mafia family.

He painted houses red. Gunning down potential threats, enemies and even those refusing to pay for their protection fees. The godfather named Ivan Romanov was his foster uncle. Due to his capability as a cold blooded gunman and close relationship with the big boss, his influence and pay was great.

And that pay the young twenty seven year old man used in buying whatever he wanted.

From food to collectibles. Soon he turned to reading manga.

The goblin shook his head. "It can't be helped. Shooting people dead, watching over illegal business deals and leading the boys on an operation was just too boring sometimes."

That criminal life wasn't perfect, but it was beautiful. Isn't life really like that even for a normal person? Life is a wheel, sometimes a person is at their peak and other times even beggars would be above the lowest of the low.

"It was a nice life." Grant nodded.

The only problem was that he died. Surrounded by military and police forces.

They were betrayed.

And in that betrayal, Grant laid his life for his uncle to get away. Happily leading some family members on clearing a path.

"If it was just dying then I would be fine with it." He was dissatisfied. Grant had done his best to repay his uncle's kindness to him for providing him shelter and a new start in life.

The man had tried to give him a normal life.

Long story short it didn't just work out. Ivan had enemies, and they didn't care if Grant was used as collateral just to knock him down a peg.

They would prefer using him too.

After dying Grant found peace.

He would finally see his mother and father again. Or at least know where they reside in the afterlife.

But instead of waking up in hell, purgatory or heaven, he had woken up to this new world.

A world named [Shard]

Thinking of how absurd everything was, Grant felt his body heat up and be incensed once more.

He was unwilling. Mad at how things ended up for him.

"I was. content with death. I would finally see them again or at least know where they are and would only have to wait a bit more until I see uncle if I was in hell or heaven."

"But this? I did not ask for this."

He was dissatisfied with the new life granted to him, as this life had no meaning whatsoever. The world around him was colorful, there was an orange-yellow hue staining everything thanks to the setting sun.

That much Grant could tell by pure logic and previous world knowledge alone. The only problem was that his eyes were broken, even his spirit was soured by it.

He could see perfectly, he wasn't blind except as colorful as the world was, all Grant's eyes could see was dull shade of gray. The green plants, the brown or possibly green mountains and a lake that was blue. He knew that they were colored that way thanks to his memories back on earth.

But Grant still only saw grey.

Grant could care less about being an ugly goblin, and he didn't even care that this world worked in a strangely special way.

He didn't care about possibly making a harem.

Nor did he care about power.

"All I wanted was peace." As chaotic his past life sounded, he was at peace there.

He had a loving uncle, he had friends and comrades by his side. That life had meaning unlike this new one.

Though all of that were gone, they were but a memory of the past. A memory he can no longer touch nor experience once again.

The goblin cast down his eyes, those green pupils losing luster then becoming dull as dusty stones.

There was another problem that greatly made him feel more lifeless.

He couldn't remember the faces of his parents.

Grant had amnesia that deleted all of his memories before nine years old. The plausible cause would be the car crash wherein he had apparently lost those two guardians of his.

It was painful. To know you lost something yet not know what it was. That thought kept on eating away at the man and making him feel even more hollow day after day.

For what purpose did he exist? "It would've been better if I passed away with them."

At least he wouldn't have to feel so frustrated, guilty and lifeless thanks to that loss.

And now it had repeated once more.

Grant wanted to make his Uncle happy and secure his life until old age. It was one of the reasons why he turned to a life of crime. To make sure Ivan has someone he could trust and rely on in his dark dealings, and that someone became him.

Yet once again, an important family member was taken away.

Ivan was alive, Grant was alive.

But latter was in another world. And the former in a fantasy setting

He was alone. All alone.

Once more he had lost something precious.

"I had a life... And it was taken away by death." And as if the gods were insulting him, they gave him another life with his memories intact.

"Go replace your old life and live well in this colorful world of magic and violence." It was how Grant interpreted his new life. It was a mockery of his efforts to find and sustain happiness back then. A mockery in which stating that everything he had done, and all the people he had formed bonds with no longer mattered.

A lot would kill for a chance at reincarnation. Though Grant wasn't one of them.

Living life in another world was harder than one can think. A divine weapon was nice, but hand it to a fool and even the local competent swindler would triumph over such retarded smooth brained fellows.

Grant had no divine weapon. He had no cheat and the only advantage he has was his maturity, intelligence and level headedness. Unfortunately, he had a habit of overthinking things, overthinking everything until he eventually falls into a solemn mood.

Roar!

Shaken out of his thoughts, the goblin sitting on the outcrop stared at the skies. The clouds were especially thick this particular day thanks to a brewing storm visible at the very edge of the horizon. Grant squinted his eyes at the sight of flashing white lightning and booming thunderclaps.

One of the lightning bolts split away from the supposed dark clouds blanketing a faraway land. A land far from the mountain range and trees surrounding the sole mountain Grant sat upon.

And that lightning bolt quickly came into view.

All of a sudden Grant's dull world lit up, bathed in a radiance unlike anything he had seen before.

Wreathed in purple regal scales, possessing fierce snake eyes which struck a sense of enthrallment and fear. Electric currents ran throughout its serpentine body, blue feathered wings jutted out behind the snake's spine.

The winged snake cast a shadow upon the mountain range as it glided by, slithering in the air assisted by spread out wings. Somehow the snake felt a pair of insignificant eyes beholding its splendor. It turned its eyes slightly, peering back and focusing at the land.

There it saw a goblin staring at it, not with eyes of fear nor greed. But with eyes full of amazement and admiration. As if the serpent was the only interesting thing in this whole vast world.

It closed its eyes and continued soaring.

Grant was firmly amazed by that creature. A sharp contrast to the grey lifeless world it lit up his view like a miniature sun. The world was grey, though the serpent was not as Grant could see all of its colors.

"Fascinating…" The goblin eased up.

In this world were not only monsters, but magical beasts capable of feats far outstripping the normal animal.

"Its been a year already since I reincarnated, although rare, these magic beasts are still pleasing to look at." Grant added.

If a snake the size of a skyscraper could smile then that serpent would've been arrogantly smirking by now.

Boom! Like a clap of thunder, the majestic beast sped up and disappeared from the skies. Grant followed it with his gaze.

"That thing should be dead by now." Grant shook his head. That winged snake that passed through his home was simply too big that its body should've collapsed on its own weight or something if normal earth's logic was applied to it. The goblin shrugged. "Guess its just magic then."

Swish!

Sounds of air being cut trailed to the goblins ear. A cloud of dust spread out from the land and Grant turned his attention towards his side.

There was a huge purple scale glowing faintly embedded onto the ground. It was situated a few dozen meters away him. "No way…" Grant couldn't believe it and drew closer, taking a better look.

The scale the size of a small tree towered over the goblin. Its sleek shiny surface reflecting Grant's visage faintly.

"It should have been me who was dead by now." Grant laughed.

If something this big cut through the air and landed a few meters near him without harming him then it wasn't a mere coincidence. The scale's speed, trajectory and force behind whatever shot it was meticulously decided upon.

Grant turned to the direction on which the winged snake fled then bowed. "Thank you for the gift." Grant dusted himself and ran off, climbing through the mountain and finally vanishing through a crevice leading into the mountain's insides.

The grey world became less dull and a nervous smile laced Grant's lips.

A bustling village wherein goblins and tanned skinned women ran around came to view.

"I guess I should stop moping and really take things seriously. If uncle Ivan sees me being some sort of disgusting sad boy then he's going to be really disappointed." Grant sounded doubtful and nervous.

Already a year passed by since he had arisen onto this strange mystical world named Shard. And for the duration of that year he just lived.

He just existed.

Passing by days eating, sleeping and learning just what a goblin in this settlement should know. How they should act and how they should interact with the system.

And by system, it was one of those generic systems from a common litrpg.

He scratched his head, the dour mood plaguing him for years had finally went away. Wounds can never healed fully, though time always lessens their sting. "What is done is done. I'm dead and I'm alive, life is precious and Uncle will always want me to live no matter which life I am." Grant convinced himself then shook his head.

The cold, colorless world became a bit warmer.

He could see hope and reasons to take this life seriously.

A faint hope that learning magic could somehow make him find a way back to his uncle.

The threat of beings so strong they could crush him with a finger that ignited his body's instinct to fight for survival.

Or maybe it was just the winged snake's kindness and sudden whim that gave Grant some sort of warmth in this lonely world.

Grant did not know but somehow, he wanted to try. It was a gamble per say, a gamble in which even if it did not pay off, he would find some solace in the fact that he tried.

Staring at the village full of happy inhabitants, Grant clenched his fist and made a decision. A world full of magic, a world full of dangers and a world where no one is right. A morally grey world wherein might makes right. The more Grant does nothing, the more his thoughts keep on devolving more and more into depression.

He knew himself best, he needed a distraction, he needed a goal that would be so high, nearly out of reach but possible.

"I'll inherit the chieftain position from the great leader." Determination blazed through the goblin's green pupils. He needed strength, he needed power and he needed to survive. As long as one lives, there exists a possibility of things turning up for the better.

Grant wanted to explore the whole world, to see every corner while taking people alone with him. If his old world was still faraway then go on a journey and he may eventually forget this pain of loss he felt. And if the world was cold and lonely then surround yourself with companions.

"Then together with everyone, I'll try to find some meaning in this cold-hearted world."

Every corner, every inch of this land he would gaze at with his followers. Grant stared at the goblins and women walking side by side. Oh, how they were so different, they weren't just normal goblins full of lust and violence.

They were more special than that.

And so, began the tale of the goblin who brought the world to its knees.