Generous-Rebirth

Sage Everest glanced at the beautiful night sky. The stars were bright and beautiful, astounding her. Even the moon looked closer than what she had remembered before. It was not an exaggeration to say that it was her first time going out after years of being a hikikomori. 

Her hair looked dry and overgrown. While her clothes with torn stitches at the side tightly bound her fat body. This was the largest set of clothes she could find in her closet. 

A few hours ago, Sage was sitting in the corner, facing the old version model of renobo laptop that was released in 20xx. She was browsing online to restock her food and hygiene goods for next week. While doing so, a pop-up message appeared. She accidentally clicked it as an automatic response. The screen lagged for a few seconds before shifting to the new tab. 

[CC: Jian Shifeng <timebox@mail.ch >

>to: me <sageverest@mail.ch >

Sage Everest of 20 years in the Future, 

Bro, have you become a billionaire? Did you win the lottery? How's the life of a lazy boss now? Did you go around the world? Ahh, I really wonder how you are doing right now. I really lack the sentiment to give you motivation. Look, I'm doing all the hard work, you should have it easy. I envy your life; I can't help but to look forward to what we will be when we're 36 years old.]

Sage Everest laughed mockingly from her own childish delusions. She had never been and never can become a boss or a billionaire. Her younger self would not even know that out of everyone, she just had to be one of the people with a common, dying fate. 

Sage Everest smiled bitterly with tears starting to wet her eyes. "Fvxk this memory– why can't it forget even the simplest thing?"

20 years ago, as a last get together with her former classmates in 10th grade, they created an account to put their message to themselves by a scheduled email. It took them three weeks before finalizing their message. They asked their professor to change the password after sending it 20 years later and deleting the traces of the message. 

On the first day after sending the scheduled mail, they came to regret it and became anxious that they would embarrass themselves after reading it in the future. But their adviser pretended not to know them or avoided their pursuit in the nick of time. After regretting what they did for a couple of months, they had come to forget about it. 

Sage shook her head. She focused her sight on the screen and read the next paragraph. 

[Please don't tell me you have a child now. Ugh, children are disgusting… but if you had a child with someone you love… I wouldn't complain. *insert giggles*. Well, I'm also wondering if you have ever tried sponsoring a birthday or wedding, being invited to be a godmother of your best friend, and organizing your niece/nephew's debut? Sage, uhm, can you not go to those places? It is really damn exhausting for my meager social battery. Unfortunately, we are one. I wish you could tell me everything face to face. I also would like to see what you look like right now. *judgmental stare*

Yes! I am staring at you. Go find a mirror, let us see what you have become now. AND WAIT! DON'T YA LOOK AT THE NEXT MESSAGE WITHOUT GOING TO A MIRROR!]

But of course, Sage ignored what her young self instructed and resumed reading.

[Bam! I know this will happen. *roll eyes* Did you choose to go all out and devour every piece of the world? Or did the unhealthy diet finally come to you? Sage, I did not raise you to be like that. You are a damn excellent athlete. Don't let your opponent overpower you. Hehehe, I wonder if you finally got abs. But please don't be as bulk as Baki. I don't know what to do if you've become one of the gym's gigachads. I still want you to look sexy. Uh, who knows if the world's preferences have changed so much? 

Whatever. Can you open your social media apps and search for your pretty cousin's name? How about you look at yourself and her to see if you've also become pretty? Well, I believe in you! I am even guessing that you have all kinds of skincare, and health care products on your bedside table.]

Sage laid her eyes on her table, but it was filled with empty wrappers and containers of what she ate. There was not even a single bedside lamp standing on the table. There were crumpled papers on top and broken pens below the table. 

A mocking laugh came out from her lips. "I disappointed little Sage. But darling, no. We're surviving because we can breathe but I am equivalent to a piece of paper. Who the hell has time for beauty?" 

[I know you have the potential to be a shut-in weeb. But I beg of you to get out of your nest! That's not comfortable at all. You are just doing something that will ruin you. I really cared for you, please don't do that. But if you're following your guts, I have nothing to say. Please review what you've done throughout the +20 years of memory since this age. I'll be waiting for you. 

Don't tell my classmates that I was too lazy to write a real message.]

Sage exited the tab and stood up from the seat. She was contemplating what she had written in the timebox email. What affected her the most was the last part. 

Sage went to the other side of the house and approached a dusty duffle bag. She could feel the thick dirt sticking to her palms but could not care. She opened the zipper and a few neat sets of albums appeared in her eyes. 

"I think only me keep a physical album in these modern times," Sage murmured as she picked one of the albums and opened it. 

Memories of the past flooded her mind.