Emotion System Is Super Cool.

Formally introducing myself, my name is pear and I am a twenty-nine year old. I have red eyes, with a stunningly looking face as I have sharp features with white hears. long story short I am handsome.

ALSO.

I am a whore , not in reality. But worse than that. I am a sucker for attention and don't give a fucking damn about what others think of me . or maybe I do that's why I am so self damn conscience. well, that's that but now I am here lying with a chick who thinks that I love her to death. Not to brag but I am just so handsome that every girl kept throwing herself on me.

I don't mind that, because again I am a whore for attention. And I always like to take other's limelight. In high school, I've slept with so many people that I've already lost count of it and it still holds it's truth.

Screwing people to just get a job is another thing I did and now I am a successful guy both in life and bed. But thinking again I also self-pity myself because I am just not able to feel something toward someone. it's irritating but I somehow started to think of myself as an asexual.

But it's not true the world knows, how much I like girls and alcohol. And to make it clear although I've even slept with guys I am far from being gay.

I am cynical and know that I've got some shitty personality. and I blame it all on them.

They all treated me like this.

I was an orphan, all alone in this world. The old lady who was in charge of the orphanage told me that my parents died in a car accident, she was nice and sweet and whenever I looked at her, she smiled and it looked like there was a halo on her head so I always called her angel lady.

she brought me sweets and all sorts of things, played with me, helped me with studying even though I hated books I always looked up to her . she was my paradise in this dark little world.

when other children bullied me she protected me. and every day I became sure that she was an angel came to save me from heaven.

But it was a delusion all in my head.

until that night. I was thirsty and my head was hurting so I went to the kitchen room to quench my thirst. Angel lady forbade children to go to that side of the orphanage at night, we all agreed to it. but I broke that rule. I thought nothing will happen so it's better to say sorry to her next day.

As I was about to leave I heard some moans of a child, I thought it was just my heading ringing and at last, curiosity got the best of me.

My feet moved on their own to the direction of these moans. it was a huge door but it wasn't completely shut . so I decided to peek, it turned out to be the most horrible decision of my life. There were two old men naked riding on top of my friends. Lizzy(a girl) and Alex(a boy), they were both naked. They both were crying and shouting, asking for mommy. Both men were putting their penis into Liz and Alex's butts.

it was horrible, my eyes were filled with tears and my ears were filled with their screams. every time I breathed, the air was stinging like thorns. it was horrible, I felt like I was going to die.

there was another person in the room, I only could see their silhouette and it appeared to be a lady, then slowly I moved closer to the door.

CREEEEEEEEK ... CREEK.

the door opened, it felt like was the world was ending.

It was the angel lady but she no longer had that beautiful gaze but instead, it was full hatred and annoyance, it was like she was looking at filth.

she grabbed my neck, those hands were the one who fed food to me one day and now I was scared of those hands. I was feeling dirty all over, it felt like shit " let go of me " I screamed and spitted on her face.

"you piece of crap" she kicked me and I flew away and then landed on the wall. it felt like my ribs were broke. I ran, I tried to run but she and the other two men pinned me down. breaking my nose, it bled the whole floor was covered by my blood.

"Ha Ha Ha Ha Hoo HOoo HOOOoo .. gentlemen you can have this child as a compensation for the inconvenience", the look on those monsters were disgusting as they pulled my pants down.

I struggled and I cried.

help me.

help me.

I am scared.

These monster.

They are going to eat me.

Alive.

ITS DARK I AM SCARED AND HELP ME.

( NO ONE IS GOING TO HELP YOU)

why what have I ever done to anyone, just let me live happily, help me.

(WHY? YOU WERE ALONE, FROM THE BEGINNING, JUST GET UP AND KILL THEM )

NO.

(THEY ARE GOING TO EAT YOU LIKE THEY ATE LIZZY AND ALEX)

NO STOP.

NO STOP.

(GET UP AND KILL THEM)

(GET UP AND ESCAPE).

I will escape no one's ever helped me from the start I was born alone, my parents gave up on me, and I should also give up on this wretched world. it hurts, but I am going to fight these demons.

suddenly.

I jerked the hand of one man and pushed the other men, he stumbled and slipped and then fell from the building and the glass shattered from the window, his blood was all over the glass pieces. I took the shattered glass and stabbed the other men in his leg and then slit his throat.

"monster, demon stay away from me, don't come near me you .. you .. you monster "

Her voice was trembling, the angel lady was shaking even though she was the real monster, her heart was as black as they come.

But she looked scared like I was scared a few moments ago now she was trembling under my foot and at that moment something broke inside me, I still don't know what broke was that and.

I stabbed her again and again and again and again.

I cried and then shouted for someone to help me. I killed someone and it felt horrible.

Everyone woke up, neighbors came and started to gather, they panicked and called police .and I couldn't breathe it felt horrible like the demon lady was still chocking my neck.

After that police came everything was solved, the orphanage was closed. and all the staff that was involved in this business were inside the jail. the case ran for a few months even though I killed people it was all in self-defense so I got off the hook after some months. and was sent to the new orphanage.

after a few years, I was adopted by people, no they were my new parents and it felt like the world again turned from monotone into a colorful one.

But again the god must have hated me.

They were assholes they adopted me and then showered me with love until my dickhead of a brother was born, he was seven years younger than me. And that there went the chance of me living a beautiful life.

It was clear how much they were bias of that dick of a brother. It was still bearable.

where was that love, what happened to those kind smile and now they were looking at me like I am some sort of filthy pet they brought along home a few years and now they are tired of it?

but still, it was bearable.

Then started bullying, harassment it was like I was some sort of an errand boy for them.

then it started to break, it started to hurt, it felt like something was leaking inside of me all that darkness.

Broke when I was twenty-three, he confessed to me.

I mean the brother who took everything away now wanted to ruin me completely.

was it revenge but about what?

was it love?

But I rejected him and told him that I am straight. It became the second most horrible decision of my life.

then came the blackmailing, threatening.

my life became a living hell.