THE WHOLE STORY
EXT. MIAMI BEACH - AFTERNOON
Lovable private detective MASTER CAMERON MEADOWS is arguing with gentle private detective MADAM JESSICA PARKER. CAMERON tries to hug JESSICA but she shakes him off.
CAMERON
Please Jessica, don't leave me.
JESSICA
I'm sorry Cameron, but I'm looking for somebody a bit more brave. Somebody who faces his fears head on, instead of running away.
CAMERON
I am such a person!
JESSICA frowns.
JESSICA
I'm sorry, Cameron. I just don't feel excited by this relationship anymore.
JESSICA leaves.
CAMERON sits down, looking defeated.
Moments later, funny detective MISS JENNA CLIFFORD barges in looking flustered.
CAMERON
Goodness, Jenna! Is everything okay?
JENNA
I'm afraid not.
CAMERON
What is it? Don't keep me in suspense...
JENNA
It's ... a Demon ... I saw an evil Demon terrorise a bunch of Citizens!
CAMERON
Defenseless Citizens?
JENNA
Yes, defenseless Citizens!
CAMERON
Bloomin' heck, Jenna! We've got to do something.
JENNA
I agree, but I wouldn't know where to start.
CAMERON
You can start by telling me where this happened.
JENNA
I was...
JENNA fans herself and begins to wheeze.
CAMERON
Focus Jenna, focus! Where did it happen?
JENNA
a library! That's right - a library!
CAMERON springs up and begins to run.
EXT. A ROAD - CONTINUOUS
CAMERON rushes along the street, followed by JENNA. They take a short cut through some back gardens, jumping fences along the way.
EXT. A LIBRARY - SHORTLY AFTER
STEVEN WILLIS a deranged Demon terrorises two Citizens.
CAMERON, closely followed by JENNA, rushes towards STEVEN, but suddenly stops in his tracks.
JENNA
What is is? What's the matter?
CAMERON
That's not just any old Demon, that's Steven Willis!
JENNA
Who's Steven Willis?
CAMERON
Who's Steven Willis? Who's Steven Willis? Only the most deranged Demon in the universe!
JENNA
Blinkin' knickers, Cameron! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most deranged Demon in the universe!
CAMERON
You can say that again.
JENNA
Blinkin' knickers, Cameron! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most deranged Demon in the universe!
CAMERON
I'm going to need Laser rays, lots of Laser rays.
Steven turns and sees Cameron and Jenna. He grins an evil grin.
STEVEN
Cameron Meadows, we meet again.
JENNA
You've met?
CAMERON
Yes. It was a long, long time ago...
EXT. A PARK - BACK IN TIME
A young CAMERON is sitting in a park listening to some Sci-fi music, when suddenly a dark shadow casts over him.
He looks up and sees STEVEN. He takes off his headphones.
STEVEN
Would you like some wine gums?
CAMERON's eyes light up, but then he studies STEVEN more closely, and looks uneasy.
CAMERON
I don't know, you look kind of deranged.
STEVEN
Me? No. I'm not deranged. I'm the least deranged Demon in the world.
CAMERON
Wait, you're a Demon?
CAMERON runs away, screaming.
EXT. A LIBRARY - PRESENT DAY
STEVEN
You were a coward then, and you are a coward now.
JENNA
(To CAMERON) You ran away?
CAMERON
(To JENNA) I was a young child. What was I supposed to do?
CAMERON turns to STEVEN.
CAMERON
I may have run away from you then, but I won't run away this time!
CAMERON runs away.
He turns back and shouts.
CAMERON
I mean, I am running away, but I'll be back - with Laser rays.
STEVEN
I'm not scared of you.
CAMERON
You should be.
INT. A SWEET SHOP - LATER THAT DAY
CAMERON and JENNA walk around searching for something.
CAMERON
I feel sure I left my Laser rays somewhere around here.
JENNA
Are you sure? It does seem like an odd place to keep deadly Laser rays.
CAMERON
You know nothing Jenna Clifford.
JENNA
We've been searching for ages. I really don't think they're here.
Suddenly, STEVEN appears, holding a pair of Laser rays.
STEVEN
Looking for something?
JENNA
Crikey, Cameron, he's got your Laser rays.
CAMERON
Tell me something I don't already know!
JENNA
The earth's circumference at the equator is about 40,075 km.
CAMERON
I know that already!
JENNA
I'm afraid of dust.
STEVEN
(appalled) Dude!
While STEVEN is looking at JENNA with disgust, CAMERON lunges forward and grabs his deadly Laser rays. He wields them, triumphantly.
CAMERON
Prepare to die, you deranged potato!
STEVEN
No please! All I did was terrorise a bunch of Citizens!
JESSICA enters, unseen by any of the others.
CAMERON
I cannot tolerate that kind of behaviour! Those Citizens were defenceless! Well now they have a defender - and that's me! Cameron Meadows defender of innocent Citizens.
STEVEN
Don't hurt me! Please!
CAMERON
Give me one good reason why I shouldn't use these Laser rays on you right away!
STEVEN
Because Cameron, I am your father.
CAMERON looks stunned for a few moments, but then collects himself.
CAMERON
No you're not!
STEVEN
Ah well, it had to be worth a try.
STEVEN tries to grab the Laser rays but CAMERON dodges out of the way.
CAMERON
Who's the daddy now? Huh? Huh?
Unexpectedly, STEVEN slumps to the ground.
JENNA
Did he just faint?
CAMERON
I think so. Well that's disappointing. I was rather hoping for a more dramatic conclusion, involving my deadly Laser rays.
CAMERON crouches over STEVEN's body.
JENNA
Be careful, Cameron. It could be a trick.
CAMERON
No, it's not a trick. It appears that... It would seem... Steven Willis is dead!
CAMERON
What?
CAMERON
Yes, it appears that I scared him to death.
JENNA claps her hands.
JENNA
So your Laser rays did save the day, after all.
JESSICA steps forward.
JESSICA
Is it true? Did you kill the deranged Demon?
CAMERON
Jessica how long have you been...?
JESSICA puts her arm around CAMERON.
JESSICA
Long enough.
CAMERON
Then you saw it for yourself. I killed Steven Willis.
JESSICA
Then the Citizens are safe?
CAMERON
It does seem that way!
A crowd of vulnerable Citizens enter, looking relived.
JESSICA
You are their hero.
The Citizens bow to CAMERON.
CAMERON
There is no need to bow to me. I seek no worship. The knowledge that Steven Willis will never terrorise Citizens ever again, is enough for me.
JESSICA
You are humble as well as brave!
One of the Citizens passes CAMERON a magic Sword
JESSICA
I think they want you to have it, as a symbol of their gratitude.
CAMERON
I couldn't possibly.
Pause.
CAMERON
Well, if you insist.
CAMERON takes the Sword.
CAMERON
Thank you.
The Citizens bow their heads once more, and leave.
CAMERON turns to JESSICA.
CAMERON
Does this mean you want me back?
JESSICA
Oh, Cameron, of course I want you back!
CAMERON smiles for a few seconds, but then looks defiant.
CAMERON
Well you can't have me.
JESSICA
WHAT?
CAMERON
You had no faith in me. You had to see my scare a Demon to death before you would believe in me. I don't want a lover like that.
JESSICA
But...
CAMERON
Please leave. I want to spend time with the one person who stayed with me through thick and thin - my best friend, Jenna.
JENNA grins.
JESSICA
But...
JENNA
You heard the gentleman. Now be off with you. Skidaddle! Shoo!
JESSICA
Cameron?
CAMERON
I'm sorry Jessica, but I think you should skidaddle.
JESSICA leaves.
JENNA turns to CAMERON.
JENNA
Did you mean that? You know ... that I'm your best friend?
CAMERON
Of course you are!
The two walk off arm in arm.
Suddenly JENNA stops.
JENNA
When I said I'm afraid of dust, you know I was just trying to distract the Demon don't you?
THE END