Persist

I was down yesterday. Part of it was about a family matter. Part of it was all about my books. However, I tried to pull myself to think positively. I spent a lot of time chatting with the other authors. Telling jokes, encouraging those who were also low in spirit, though they didn't know I was also down. This is me. I prefer doing these than dampening my mood more.

Yesterday, I made a lot of thinking. I saw myself trying to fight the urge of giving up writing. I love my stories and enjoy them myself. My kids love them too. But I also want to be acknowledged. I'm not writing this to get sympathy from readers. I'm not the only one having this heaviness as someone who is striving hard to become a published author.

I already have this desire to write books since young but no one could guide me on what to do. English grammar was another problem. When the internet came, I sent a story to an online reading base web. They also paid writers at that time, but I was rejected. That was a long time ago. I don't know if that website still existed. I actually forgot the website's name. Their rule was also strict. After sending a story and if rejected, I could only reapply after a month or longer. Thus, I simply left the site.

After being rejected, I was really upset and thought I was really not cut out to become an author.

Then Webnovel came. I was still unsure if I'll try writing here or not. The rejection had that traumatic effect on me. I decided to try and I'm Guilty, My Beauty came to being, but I was too far behind the rankings. Then I heard feedback from other authors in discord chat that I have a good story but not worth giving up their power stones. These were authors who openly wrote that in the chatroom, not even giving my presence any heaviness. Hey, I can also read those comments. Thank you for ridiculing me.

I didn't fight back. Instead, I tried to win their friendship. I succeeded with one but I'm not sure with the rest.

I challenged myself by studying how to write a novel online and found my mentor's tutelage. I persisted. And the rest is history.

Now, I feel dejected again because I started to doubt if I'm really capable of writing an impactful story. I gave my best in every story I wrote but I guess, only a few can appreciate them because the theme or topic is not the common readers' taste. Ha! (laughing bitterly) This is the life of an author.

I imagine Stephen King, J. K. Rowling, and others who are greatly acknowledged now. Somehow, they also began this career being rejected several times.

My mentor gave his students this quote:

"One needs not become the best to be great. There are so many greats, so many bests, an infinite number of learning infinite lessons. Sometimes, all it takes to become great is to go looking. Perhaps, the path to greatness, your path, was, and still is, a single discovery away."

-Greatness

After those contemplating yesterday, I'm giving my best to open my mind on how to make my story create an immersing theater in the minds of the readers. Meaning, I will not give up to make this story one of my Magna Opus. I'll pursue this road with the hope I can find that greatness, like what Stephen King and J. K. Rowling found later in their lives.

I hope and pray. So help me, God.

Have a good and fruitful day.