THE NEW ME

"I suppose you are done with your dramas." 

Surprise emanates from her features after minutes of soberness with what happened outside just a while ago. But in a split-second, she regained her composure. Unleashing that lioness in her once again and bringing back the coldness in her eyes after seeing the vulnerable side of hers I always imagined she possessed. This ability of her to swiftly shift emotions somehow intrigues me. 

'Very impressive, Angelou. Very impressive indeed. I have never encountered such a counterpart who can be in multiple personalities all in one shoe with just a blink of an eye. These characteristics of yours somehow impressed me, my dear wife.' 

"What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in your suite instead? We should be meeting tomorrow morning for our flight, not now." 

"There are a few things we must discuss. I need to clarify things to you first before we even fully indulge ourselves in this marriage for convenience." 

"Oh dear Lord, not again. Let's discuss this matter tomorrow instead. We have all the time needed to discuss everything when dawn breaks. I am drained and dead tired. I wanted to rest, for Pete's sake. Can't we just deal with whatever it is you are about to say first thing tomorrow morning? Spare me even a few hours to rest please." 

"That won't do. We must tackle everything now before we could even get out of the country. I will be busy tomorrow after we reach our destination. So everything must be done tonight. I don't want you confusing yourself with what needs and not to be done" I pointed out authoritatively. 

"But all had been explained to me by my parents. I already knew what needs to be done, all had been clarified to me. What else do I need to know?" 

"A lot more." 

"Fine! Let's get this done and over with so I can have the peace I deserve! Go ahead, spill the beans and make it quick." She exclaimed exhaustedly, slumping at the cushion nearest to her.

'What a bitchy impatient woman! Be thankful I needed you more than you needed me, because if not, I wouldn't let you speak that way to me!' 

Starting with the obvious matters, I ran through the details of our contract while looking outside the window where city lights filled the vast area. I discussed everything meticulously, leaving not a single matter untouched, only to be stopped midair the minute I turned around and saw her sitting tamely with eyes closed and breathing calmly. 

As I silently watched her, seizing her angelic face and taking note of her mellow features, a part of me that I wanted to forget relives. A part of my past flashes back right in front of me. 

Sitting meters away from her, pretending to read the book, while secretly watching her every move as always. The way she flutters her eyes, those long eyelashes that match those almond shaped sets, and how they shine to the sweet smile she exudes every time she got praised by her peers down to the way she perfectly carries herself, even with not too fancy clothes, that always made her above the girls her age. These traits of hers were the reasons why I couldn't get my eyes off her. She is one hell of a sight that any man would die for to behold. 

I thought I only had a crush on her. That everything will stop the moment I see someone who is more good looking and bewitching than her. But as time flew by, the infatuation I felt blossomed. As time passes, what I feel gives birth to something I have never ever felt before. This was my first. She was the first girl who made me feel this way. Now, I am secretly in love with her. 

"Are you even listening to me, Angelou? For God sake, woman! The last thing I want you to do right now is to sleep on me while I talk here!"

"What were you saying?" She gazed at me unknowingly, obviousness awakened from her short-lived slumber.

"This is unbelievable! I told you we will discuss and clarify things, but here you are sleeping on me? Now you're really making my speculations come to life! How could you be so disrespectful as a wife!"

"Wow! Look who's talking! Me? Disrespectful as a wife? How about you after that disgusting and puking stunt you did inside the ladies' room earlier? Wasn't that a more disrespectful act than what I did now?" 

"What I do with my time is none of your concern! Whether I stick my rod to random girls at any random places I wish to, all of that is none of your goddamn business!"

"Yeah right! But let me refresh your memory, Mister. Since I am in this mess with you, your affairs are officially mine as well! So anything you do in public, especially obscene ones, is considered to be my goddamn business too!" 

"Don't push my limit, Angelou. I might forget that you're a woman." 

"Oh really now, and what? You'll hit me? Go ahead then! Hit me if you dare! I am not scared of you! I don't even feel a bit of fear at the sight of you! And don't be so full of yourself, Mr. Narcissist! Don't ever think that you can belittle me just because your family is much wealthier than mine!" 

"You're unbelievable! None of these fucking make sense!"

"So what make sense to you? You being a bossy jerk?"

I moved further away from her, taking long deep and steady breaths to calm myself. I may be a control freak, but never in history did I hit any woman. After minutes of silence and finally regaining my self-control, I gazed back at her, more determined than ever.

"As I was saying earlier before the interruptions you've created, Lucy is my girlfriend and it will stay that way. So since I am forbidden to be seen in public with her now, I've requested her to come as she pleases at my home instead and granted her full access to it. I want you to take note of this since you will be living with me from now on and be totally aware of her presence. I don't want you fighting with her either, not after that heated discussion you had with her earlier." 

"Can't you just allot a different place for her? For your indecent affairs? I mean, what will our parents and even our colleagues say, if any of this comes to their knowledge?" 

"It's none of their business. I live my life the way I want it."

"If you are so thick faced about this and even don't care at all, then I'm not like you! I am concerned about what others will think, especially my parents, the minute they know about this!" 

"I've said my piece, that's final. None of what you will say would even matter, so shut up and just do what you're told" I finished before walking towards the door to leave.

"You arrogant beast! I am not one of your employees, nor one of your mistresses, to just simply bow down and do whatever you command! We are equal in this arrangement! None of us is above the other! I also have a say when it comes to our marriage, even if all of these were meant for display only!" 

Her words stopped me from opening the door. I turned back and faced her. 

"Let me remind you of our status here, Angelou. I don't even care for you or your petty career. I got stuck here with you for a year and I have no choice but to bear with your presence." 

"Well for your information, Mr. Gabriel Levine, I wouldn't like to be in the same place with you if given a chance either. If not for my parents' pleas and my deep respect and love for them, I would never marry you in the first place if it's the last thing I would do. And don't ever think that you alone suffer here, I am suffering too. So let us just be two civilized adults until this is all over. Then we can go on with our own separate lives and be strangers once again."

"It's a deal, Mrs. Angelou Levine. That's what I was about to say next." 

Before things between us got totally out of control, I quickly stormed out of her suite, shutting the door with a loud bang behind me. 

'You may be my first love, Angelou Stanford, but you can't belittle me now unlike before. Whether you like it or not, you have to deal with the new me, the new Gabriel Levine.'