Are You Serious With This?

It is now; I don't know o'clock in the year of our Lord who the fuck cares. I have been here for Heaven only knows how long, and I still can't figure out what the hell happened. The last thing I remember is, well... nothing. I have vague impressions of a previous life. A life that did not involve this empty nothingness. My only company is a weird display that tells me everything I currently know about my situation, and it's not much. Who, what, where, when, why, and how. The basics of questioning if there are any. I don't know. I have a vague impression that I went to school at one point, but I couldn't tell you if I was smart or not. Maybe I didn't have a brain in my head. I know I don't now. How could I? I'm a frigging rock!

Who: <Unknown>

What: <Rock>

Where: <Restricted>

When: <Restricted>

Why: <Restricted>

How: <Integration>

Yep, that's right. I'm a rock. Who am I? Pfft. I guess I don't know, and neither does the system. Where, when, and why? If the system knows, it's not talking. And don't get me started on how. What does it mean 'Integration'? Am I integrating into something, or is something integrating into me? Did you ever hear the phrase, "Dumb as a rock?" Well, nice to meet you. I am the definition of that phrase. I might be forming thoughts, despite not having a brain with which to form them, but I feel sluggish like this is the extent of the energy I have. Even if I had the capability to move or do anything, I don't think I'd have the energy to do it.

I'd say I've been here years, but I have no real way to measure that. I might be going insane, or maybe, I'm already insane, and I'm just so heavily sedated that I don't know it. Would I know I was insane if I was insane? I just wish something would happen. I can't keep going on like this.

[WARNING: Temperature exceeding structural tolerance. Refinement imminent. System entering emergency update and reboot.]

Oh, that's a rather lovely voice. Smooth and dusky. A little sanitized, but I'll take what I can-

[Restarting]

Whoa. How long was I out? What's going on. I feel... different. I mean, still no sensory input or anything novel like that, even my system display is gone, but again, I feel different. More energetic. Like a chubby guy that finally starts working out and getting in shape. I almost feel good.

[System updated. Initializing Status.]

Who: <Unknown>

What: <Metal:Refined>

Where: <Restricted>

When: <Restricted>

Why: <Restricted>

How: <Integration>

Well, hello. Is that an upgrade I see? I am no longer a mere rock. I am now metal. I wonder if I'm valuable? Maybe I'll be forged into a great hero's sword or something. I guess it doesn't matter. Unless something changes, I have no agency. I'm, at best, a background character with no motivation or development. No one will even know of my witty personality and biting humor. System? Can you talk to me? I'm feeling a little vulnerable right now, and I could use a kind, if somewhat cold, disembodied voice to talk to.

CLANG!

Whoa! I felt that!

CLANG!

[WARNING. Pressure is exceeding structural tolerance. Forging imminent. System entering emergency update and reboot.]

What? Again? Are you serious with this? Well, here we go. What will I end up as next? (Please don't be a codpiece! Please don't be a codpiece! PLEASE-)

[Restarting]

Alright. I'm back. Have you ever undergone anesthesia? Like the knock your dumb ass out kind? One moment you're counting down from one hundred, and the next moment a nurse is saying, "you can wake up now." At least, hopefully, that's the order of things. I always found that a little creepy. It's like you stepped out of time and then dropped back in. If something goes wrong, you just don't ever step back in. Maybe that's what happened to me. It's a sobering thought.

Well, that same concept applies here. One moment I'm thinking thoughts, and the next, I hear the system wake me up. I don't know exactly how to explain this. I know that I've reincarnated and that so far, this incarnation kinda sucks. Where are the gorgeous damsels that want a piece of my rock hard body? Where is the rock hard body that's not an actual rock? Well, hunk a metal now, I guess.

Regardless of how disappointing this life has been so far, I still don't want it to end. Stupid, right? I should be thrilled to get out of this. It's a nothing existence, but to me, it isn't an existence of nothing. I still think and tell myself stories. It would be nice if I could at least share it with someone, but if this life stops, who's to say a new one will start back up? I guess you could say I'm a little scared.

Changes are happening, and that's a good thing, but what if I'm not me when all is said and done. HOLY SHIT! I'm a hunk of metal. Why am I having an existential crisis right now? System! System, save me from my wandering thoughts. PLEASE!!!

[System updated. Initializing Status.]

Who: <Unknown>

What: <Device:Inactive>

Where: <Restricted>

When: <Restricted>

Why: <Restricted>

How: <Integration, Mana Absorption>

Well, now. That's interesting. I'm a device. No longer am I a hunk of useless metal waiting to be used as a paperweight. No, now I am a mighty device. I wonder what I do? It could be anything. Oh, hang on. I have a new 'How.' <Mana Absorption>

That's interesting. Where there is mana, there is magic. And where there is magic there is... well, I'm not sure. If this was a fantasy novel and all signs point to yes, then there could be dragons, wizards, knights, and beautiful princesses to rescue. Now, if only I could be aware of all that, it would be at least entertaining. Like watching a movie or something.

[WARNING]

Oh, what the Hell? Already. I haven't even gotten used to the last set of changes. What fresh torment am I going to suffer now?

[Foreign energy signature detected. Unknown system attempting to establish a link. Would host like to Integrate this system?] [YES/NO]

Can I get some information about this so-called system? What does it mean to integrate with it? Come on, System, you can't give me a choice without knowing the ramifications. That's cruel and ridiculous. How can anyone make a rational decision without information?

[Failure to make a decision has resulted in the execution of the System default. Integration will now commence.]

Are you serious with this?