CH 31: The surpassed emotions

Strength: 175 lbs (79 kg) -> 200 lbs (90 kg)

Speed: 40 mph (64 kph) -> 50 mph (80 kph)

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"Chaos? Is something the matter?" Natasha, clad in Chaos and in their Pseudo-Symbiote Mode, asked after getting on top of a building while invisible. At the moment, they had gone to another random timeline of a random universe, 1989 of Earth-616.

With her in charge of combat, she had easily killed and eaten the Venom Symbiote of this universe as well, allowing Chaos to absorb the powers of one more Symbiote and make him stronger, resulting in her getting stronger.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Acquired From Venom Symbiote): x3

(CH 23)

https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Venom_(Symbiote)_(Earth-616)?so=search

https://www.superherodb.com/venom/10-22/powers/

Symbiote Biology

Superhuman Strength: 130 tons

Superhuman Speed: 1,500 mph (2,414 kph)

Superhuman Durability

Superhuman Stamina

Superhuman Agility

Superhuman Reflexes

Regenerative Healing Factor

Genetic Memory

Offspring Detection

Body Chemistry Manipulation

Telepathy

Constituent-Matter Generation

Constituent-Matter Manipulation

Body Storage

Camouflage Capabilities

Parasitic Inheritance

Wall-Crawling

Webbing Generation

ESP

Empathetic Empowerment

Immunity to Spider-Sense

Poisonous Fangs

Stretching and deforming

Telepathy Resistance

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Superhuman Strength: x5

Superhuman Speed: x5

Superhuman Durability: x5

Superhuman Stamina: x5

Superhuman Agility: x5

Superhuman Relaxes: x5

Superhuman Regeneration: x5

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However, that was of no concern to her at the moment. She was worried about Chaos. Not that he was injured, harmed or anything. But just that he was so... Quiet. Calm. He wasn't as excited about random things as always. He wasn't even excited about the fight.

Even when they finally found the Venom of this universe, he just told her to fight him himself. That he wasn't in the mood for it. Any normal person would get that he was sad, depressed or something was really bothering him. Forget about Natasha who was a master at reading people.

And since Chaos wasn't really one to hide his feelings, desires and emotions, it was really easy for her to find out that something was wrong. And the sigh that left him made her even more sure :"(I... Don't know, Natasha...)"

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked gently, lightly squeezing her hand as if holding onto his hand created from his biomass. But his voice just got even lower, sadder :"(What is there to talk about...?)"

Not used to him being so down, Natasha grew a bit worried. With unusual gentleness in her voice, she spoke while caressing his biomass :"Hey, this isn't any place to talk about this. How about we go home and just talk about it?"

"(... Mhm...)" He hummed in approval, before the good old red light enveloped them and returned them to their own universe, and to their own home. Well, new home. They couldn't stay in a single place.

As she took out the small, emergency bag from his biomass and threw it to a corner, she sat on the edge of the bed :"Alright, come out so we can talk." Silently, the red Symbiote came out of her. Slower than usual. Less excited than usual. Worrying her even more.

Natasha slowly raised her hand, and placed it on his cheek, caressing it when he leaned into her hold silently :"What's wrong, C? Talk to me about it. I'll listen to whatever you say."

Chaos :"... There's no point in talking about it..."

Natasha, gently smirking :"You're saying that there was no point in me talking to you whenever I was sad or feeling down?"

Chaos :"That's not what I... That's different... I just don't see any reason to talk about it..."

Natasha :"... There doesn't need to be a reason, Chaos. I learned that from being with you. We don't talk about it to solve it. We talk about it so we can let it out. So that it won't eat us from the inside. So, please, tell me why you're sad. You've listened to me so many times, comforted me so many times, of course I'd do the same."

Chaos :"... I... I just..."

Natasha :"Go on, honey."

Chaos :"I don't know... I just feel sad... I just feel... Worthless... I don't know why... Like, I don't see any value in myself... Nothing..."

Natasha, gently :"That's not true, Chaos. That's absolutely not true. Why would you think or even feel like that?"

Chaos :"... I just don't see anything in myself. Nothing that I have. No one that I have... Nothing that I am... Nothing that I can be... Not a good person... Not a hero. Not a friend..."

Seeing the tears that actually started to form at the bottom of his marble colored eyes, Natasha's heart sank as she wiped away the tears with her thumb :"Chaos, you have me. How can you not be a good person? Even though you can't see it, do you have any idea how many people you've saved? Just in that HYDRA incident, you helped save the lives of millions. And how can you not be a friend? You're my dear friend. My best friend. My partner." <Yes, Symbiotes can actually cry, and here's evidence of the Venom Symbiote himself crying because he unlocked the suppressed memories of his first host when he met him, which actually made me tear up a bit...:>

However, only more and more tears began to form, and slowly started to descend, one by one :"That doesn't change anything. I was doing what I should've. I wasn't doing it to save lives. I didn't, and don't want to be a hero. I was doing it for you, my host. I was only helping my host. Just as I should've. In the end, it doesn't change my nature... I'm nothing... Only a tool... Only a weapon... Only a destroyer, who doesn't bring any benefits... Without my powers and abilities, I'm absolutely worthless..."

With a sad look on her own face, Natasha cupped his face with both hands, gently wiping away the tears :"... Whenever I was sad, whenever I was depressed, who comforted me? Who was the one that cared for me? The one that helped me? Was it your powers? Was it your abilities?"

"... No..." With the tears growing more intense with each second, Chaos shook his head, and Natasha continued :"No, it wasn't. It was you, Chaos. Your powers and abilities didn't comfort me, it was you.

You were the one that supported me when I was down, not your powers. You were the one that held me when I was crying, not your abilities. You were the one that gave me peace when my mind was chaotic, not your capabilities. So believe me, Chaos, that's not true. Your powers aren't what make you important.

Your powers aren't what determine your worth. It's you who make your powers important. It's you who gives your powers value. Without you, what would your powers be?"

"Nothing..." He sobbed out, gently shaking his head in her hands as she smiled comfortingly :"That's right, Chaos. You're important because of yourself. Not because of your powers. I didn't have any powers before you showed up, that didn't make me worthless.

And who says you don't have anything? Who says you don't have anybody? Chaos, you have me. You have your phone, your laptop, and anything you want if you ask me. And even if you don't have anything, even if you don't have anyone, you will always have me. I promise you that."

"... Really...?" He sobbed out, tears streaming down his silky smooth face without restraint as he looked at her, to see her smile softly at him :"Really. I promise. You know, I used to have absolutely nothing as well.

But then I joined SHIELD, so I got a new home. *Chuckling* Not really the best home, or the ideal home. But at least it was a place where I could belong. I met a few friends there. Some people who were dear to me. Then I met you, the person who became the dearest to me.

But that home fell. Crumbled in my sight. And I lost the only place I had finally belonged to. But I wasn't as sad as I was when I didn't have anything the first time. Because this time, I had you. My partner in crime. My partner in life.

When I had some things, you were there for me. When I lost everything, you were there for me. When I had nothing, you were there for me. So know this, if you have something, I will be there and with you. If you lose everything, I will be there and with you. If you have nothing, I will be there and with you. That's a promise, my partner. So know this, you're worth more than anybody could ever imagine in my eyes. Not as a tool. Not as a weapon. But as a partner, and the dearest person in my heart."

"Am I... Truly worth something? Without my powers, without my abilities, am I still a good friend? A good partner?" He choked out, leaning into his host's wet hands even more as she pulled him into her embrace, letting him cry into her chest, hugging him, kissing his head gently :"You were, are, and will always be, Chaos. Don't let any thoughts, nor anybody else convince you otherwise. You are my dear friend. My dear partner. The only person who I will truly trust my life to. Always remember that."

"Thank you..." He sobbed into her chest, clinging onto her desperately from everywhere :"Thank you..." He cried, and Natasha only held him tighter :"You're welcome. Come here, let's lie down and just cuddle."

As she laid back on the bed, she didn't let go of him for even a second. Only hugging the crying Symbiote tightly, letting him sob into her :"It's alright. It's alright. Let it all out. Don't hold back. Don't hold in anything. Just let it all out. I'm here for you, and will always be here for you."

"Thank you... You're not just my host, Natasha. You're my everything. You're everything I have. Everything I want. Thank you... And please, please never let me go..." As she kissed her Symbiote's head comfortingly, stroking his head and hair lovingly :"Never, Chaos.

I will never let you go.Will never let anybody take you from me. We'll always be together. I know you're not telling me the most important reason for why you're so sad, but it's alright. It's not like I've told you my past either. But I promise, one day, we both will let everything out. Let one another into each other's heart. Won't let any secrets be left unsaid. On that day, we'll finally reach true Symbiosis."

"... Mhm... I promise." He cried into her chest, snuggling into her and letting the tears fall freely, without trying to stop them. She was right, even though it was true that he felt miserable because of feeling like all of his value was because of his capabilities, it wasn't the main and actual reason.

He felt... Lonely. He missed his loved ones. His family. His parents. His siblings. His few friends. Whoever that was dear to him. The people who no longer even knew him. He never forgot about any of them. He tried. Tried to move on. Tried to forget. But he couldn't. The few memories that he had, were too precious to let go of.

The sense of loneliness, and being alone in a completely different Multiverse, had just left him feeling miserable. The fact that they didn't even know him anymore not helping at all. He wanted to be mad at himself. Wanted to hate himself. But not because of acting weak. But because of wishing for all of them to forget him.

However, no matter how much his selfish side tried to make him regret it, he was just unable to be mad at himself. Cause deep down, along with the bloodlust, along with the madness, along with the craziness and insanity, was a caring and loving heart. One that was strong enough to shine brighter than any evil emotion inside of him. One that he wanted to hate, for always hurting him. But was unable to, because he loved the only loving part of himself.

He knew that if he didn't wish for his fifth wish, the sadness that would live inside of his family and loved ones would put too much of a guilt on his heart. Especially his parents. His dear partners. The ones that loved him with all their heart. The ones that wouldn't be able to bear losing him.

So even if he had to bear the sadness, even if he had to live with the fact that they no longer knew him, even if he had to know that he was the one that wished for it, he knew deep down, inside of his caring heart, that even though he made the harsh and hurtful decision, he chose the right thing to do.

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<For those of you who think this chapter was too sudden, and there was no build up for it, you're absolutely correct. There wasn't anything that suddenly pulled this reaction out of him, nor anything that happened. But there wasn't any need for any of that. You see, just like any author, I've put some of my own characteristics in my character. And in my case, it's my extreme bipolarism. For you all that don't know what bipolarism is, it's something of a mental illness that causes unusual shifts in a person's mood, energy, activity levels, and concentration.

Basically, you can suddenly go from being happy and just chilling, to nearly crying, to sobbing, to suddenly wanting to tear someone's nose off, to suddenly wanting to r*pe the father of the guy you wanted to kill in the ass, to suddenly feeling depressed, to suddenly going back to just chilling like nothing ever happened. So, yeah... This chapter actually really makes sense for a bipolar person>