HIMYM:Secrets Unveiled

It was supposed to be a usual, normal day.

Get up and ready, work all day, then head to the bar to meet up with the gang. Except it didn't go like that. As Ted made his way through the heavy doors of MacLaren's, he already felt like something was off. It wasn't until he saw his friends at their usual booth that it hit him. Barney wasn't here again.

"Hey Lily, Marshall. Robin running late?" Ted spoke as he took his set across from his couple friends.

"Hi Ted, yeah Robin just texted me. It's gonna take her half an hour to rush home to change and meet us here." Lily answered, putting away her phone she just checked.

Marshall, feeling left out of the conversion, cuts in.

"Has anyone seen Barney?"

"Actually, now that you mention it, no. It's been a while since I've seen him and he hasn't tried to reach out at all." Lily began to give a worried look as the realization came to her.

The small group sat thoughtfully as they tried to recall the last time Barney was even around and what may have caused this.

"Let's wait for Robin, maybe she's seen him. Or at the very least, knows what's going on with him." Ted reasoned as he started looking for Wendy the waitress to put in his order.

After 40 minutes had passed, Robin finally made her appearance.

"Heeyy, guys, what's up? Sorry, I'm late… What's with the funeral faces?" Robin joked as she slid into the booth, taking a seat next to Ted.

"Have you seen Barney or heard from him?" Lily cut right to the chase, not even acknowledging the greeting or joke.

"Umm…actually, I can't remember the last I saw Barney. But that might be cause I've been busy at work. Also, Barney is a grown adult, a disgusting adult, but grown. I'm sure he's fine, out there hitting on some poor bimb-oh my god I have seen Barney!"

Everyone stops and stares at Robin, urging her to continue.

"Well, spill!! Where is he?" Lily smiles eagerly.

"Uh ok, well, I...no, maybe I didn't see him." Robin spoke as if trying to figure out what she even meant.

The group gave exasperated sighs of frustration. They didn't care what she saw so long as it had to do with their missing friend.

"Robin, just say what you saw." Marshall was on the edge of his seat, face serious, as he worried it might implicate Barney in some illegal activity.

"Uh, ok. Well, I was doing a segment on the serial date rape druggings going on in gay night clubs and... No, I-I'm sorry I shouldn't be saying this." With that cliffhanger, Robin gets up and goes to the bar.

The three friends stared at each other, wondering where she was going with her story. It almost sounded like... Was Barney actually…

Just as they were all thinking the same thing, Robin plops back down in the booth, cold beer in hand. The silence at the table was deafening, despite the rowdy noise coming from the other people in the background. Not a minute after said awkward silence was established did Marshall finally spoke with a panicked voice.

"Oh my God, is Barney the serial-"

"Oh my God, Marshall! No!" Robin cut him off out of sheer shock.

Collectively, the three sighed in relief.

"My God guys, I mean I know it's Barney, but have some faith in the guy. I mean yeah, he'll go through a lot to get with a girl but he has his limits...right?"

Suddenly, everyone took a moment to think. Recalling all the times Barney has stooped so low just for a chance to get laid.

Ted started off the list "Well, there was that one time he lied about having a rare terminal illness and used a Make-A-Wish, wish to get with a supermodel."

"And there's that time he pretended to be really into camping and ended up missing for 4 days with that crazy forest chick." Marshall snickers as he contributes.

"And the time he pretended to be afraid of the dark so he could have a girl 'walk him home.'" Lily added.

"I don't know, I still feel like that one's real. I mean... the dark is pretty scary... no one likes the dark." Robin assured, giving Marshall a death glare so as to not speak of Canadian stereotypes again.

"Ok, ok, we've established that Barney would do and say anything to get a girl in bed with him, but no way would he use something like drugs." Ted reassured the group.

Lily nodded in agreement. "You're right, Ted, but Robin, why'd you bring up the serial druggings?"

All attention went to Robin as she was mid-drink. Her eyes darted around the room until she could no longer evade her friend's stares.

" Sigh alright. So as I was reporting outside some gay club, I... I know this is gonna sound crazy, but I swear... I think I saw Barney from the corner of my eye. And he was with four other people and um... they were laughing and leaving the club and someone had an arm around him and oh look I need another beer, be right back!"

The last part was said with speed as she abandoned her half-full bottle and rushed to the bar counter once again. No one said a word.

"Barney? At a gay club?... God what is he planning now." Lily chuckled as she took a sip from her glass of beer.

"No way is he trying to get with a lesbian again. I mean he should've learned his lesson the last time he tried that." Marshall joins in Lily's laughter.

"Yeah, that girl really gave him the beating of a lifetime, who knew such a small girl was a lumberjack." Ted reminisces how he had to help his dumb friend back home after that misadventure.

"So wait, what was Barney doing at a gay nightclub?" Lily brought back the main point.

…

No one had a good answer. And they needed answers. Without Barney around the past many days, the group's conversations have been sparse, and topics to talk about are being repeated so much its become a chore. Quickly, Lily whips out her smartphone and opens an app with glee.

"I just remembered! Barney downloaded a phone location-sharing app on my phone! Let's track that bitch and ask him ourselves!"

"Aw Lilypad, that's such a great idea! But um, why are you two sharing locations?" Marshall's smile turned to deadpan in a second and soon a plan to murder Barney instead began to form.

"Oh, when he came to chaperone with me on our class field trip a few months back. He downloaded it so we wouldn't get lost if we got separated. Though it didn't help when he ended up hooking up with one of the kid's mom and leaving midway into the trip, but it's paying off now." She explained with more excitement as the red dot began to ping.

"I got it! Let's grab Robin and go catch that man whore!" And with that, the group left the bar. Little did anyone know, the wheels of fate were twisting and nothing would be the same after tonight.