Chapter 64: Kindness will eventually be rewarded, even if it is small

'It looks like I'll be dying soon' Nozomi could sense it.

'But I didn't seem to be dead' Nozomi could tell that.

'Is it [Him] who is protecting me?' Nozomi thought so.

Although he cannot move his body, the surroundings seem familiar to him. More importantly, he can sense His gaze on him.

Nozomi hurriedly lowered his head, trying to perform the etiquette of a devout believer... Unfortunately, he was unable to do so now. However, "He" did not mind these little things.

[He] spoke, a slightly gentle female voice.

(TL: what the... so the God is a female? then why do they call her 'Him' or 'He'? well, let's change it then~ )

"Young one... do you know the evil consequences of your actions? Do you know the mistakes you have made?"

[Her] words were no longer as vague and difficult to understand as before but became clear and audible. It was a language that Nozomi was familiar with, not an unknown language.

"I'm sorry, Almighty God... I failed to live up to your expectations. I used the token you gave me to kill people, and my hands were once again stained with sinful blood. I... failed to live up to your trust and expectations, and failed to spread your kindness to the world."

"......"

Hearing this, She was silent for a moment, and then spoke calmly.

"You have lived up to my trust and expectations. The mistake you made is something else."

Afterward, [She] gently explained why things ended up like this, which was the [mistake] that Nozomi had made.

First of all, [Twilight Street] itself is in a delicate balance. Under this weak balance, [neutral zones] like the church can exist. Even Nozomi's daily life supplies are "provided" by those gangs. In this situation, Nozomi tried to use their supplies to carve out an independent area on their land... This is obviously not allowed by them.

If Nozomi had repaired the church with his own strength and the materials he obtained, then the gangsters would not have said anything, and at most would have mocked him a few times—after all, their arrival would definitely make Nozomi's efforts go to waste, and they would definitely loot all the materials in the church.

However, Nozomi used their "charitable" materials to repair the church and even took in refugees who should have become their human resources. This affected their interests. Therefore, Nozomi and Father Yanzheng were [retaliated]... They did not need a [negotiating table that was too inconvenient] and [witnesses with their own ideas].

As for the subsidies and supplies that should have been provided by the church? Those things did not exist. They would be divided up by them when they entered [Twilight Street]. In fact, the supplies that the church received from them were also part of the subsidies provided by the church.

In other words, Father Yan Zheng should have been living a good life, and the church here would not have been in such a dilapidated state. The current situation was caused by them embezzling most of the subsidies and supplies, and... not only did they take these subsidies, but they also used them to take out a portion of them as "alms" to the church, making the people in the church thank them for their "alms."

It's really... disgusting.

"Almighty God... why don't you change the atmosphere of [Twilight Street], let this chaotic place return to peace and stability, and let the people here sleep peacefully?"

Nozomi asked softly.

"Because this is the choice of the people," She said.

"People living here are used to and love this [atmosphere], and people outside also need this [atmosphere] here."

"This is a chaotic place that is driven and condoned by everyone."

"The outside powers need places like this to exile prisoners, to drive those desperate criminals or those who are difficult to deal with here."

"The people here need those desperate people to do things that are not suitable to be put in the sun, to make a lot of money to maintain this place and their authority here."

Things that are not suitable to be exposed to the sun... such as illegal human experiments, or... selling "addictive drugs"... or something like that?

'How disgusting' Nozomi couldn't help but think so.

"Your intention is good, your thoughts are good, and there is nothing wrong with the goodwill you express," [She] said so.

"It's just that there's no room for such kindness here."

"The choices of the people have made this place [Twilight Street]. You have no power to change their minds."

"You are too weak and don't have the power to change this place."

[She] concluded.

I see...

Nozomi suddenly understood.

He suddenly understood why Father Yan Zheng always looked indifferent when he first met him; he suddenly understood why Father Yan Zheng always seemed hesitant to speak when he wanted to improve the church; and why the smile on Father Yan Zheng's face was so sincere when he took in refugees.

It is difficult to change this place, but the kind intention is worthy of praise.

But...that's all.

'But with just the way I am now... I can't do anything.'

'If you want to change this place, you need... [power].'

Nozomi looked at it clearly, and his consciousness became hazy.

"Hmm…"

Nozomi woke up slowly, and what came into his sight was Aponia's face.

She must be taking care of him, as one could see fatigue and exhaustion on her face.

"Father...I'm glad you're awake."

Seeing Nozomi waking up, Aponia hurried forward.

"How is it? Are you still feeling pain? Are you feeling unwell? Your injuries are really serious, and you have lost a lot of blood. I'm afraid it will be difficult for you to recover in just a few days..."

"It's okay, I'm fine... How many days have I been unconscious?"

Facing Aponia, whose expression was full of nervousness and concern, Nozomi raised his hand slightly, stopping her from touching his hands, and asked instead.

"And...where is Father Yan Zheng?"

"......"

Hearing Nozomi's question, Aponia's expression became gloomy.

"You have been in a coma for seven days, but fortunately, [She] is protecting you."

"Father Yan Zheng...died during the negotiation with them."

She said it truthfully.

"Mammy followed him, to add leverage."

"But she died too, and now... I'm in charge of this nursing home."

Nozomi was a little dazed for a moment.

"I...want to go to the church. Is that okay?"

He said somewhat bewilderedly.

Aponia hesitated for a moment but finally nodded.

"Please wait a moment. I will go with you."

After saying that, Aponia was about to go forward to help him up, but Nozomi waved his hand, indicating that he could... Although he still felt a little weak, he could walk normally.

He took his own cross pendant from Aponia, hesitated for a while, and finally did not hang it on his chest. Instead, he wrapped the thin chain around his hand so that he could hold it tightly in his palm.

Nozomi waited patiently for Aponia, and only after she had given instructions to the children in the sanatorium did they go out together.

When Nozomi left the gate and stepped onto the street, he could feel the slightly dazzling gazes coming from all around him.

No matter who they are... maybe they are those refugees, maybe they are gang members... or maybe they are someone else.

There was mockery, anger,...guilt, and pity in their eyes, and the emotions in them were not concealed.

However, even so, they did not step forward, but just looked at the two of them silently for a while, and then their eyes stayed on Aponia for a while before they retracted their gaze.

Regardless of the notification from the gang or the somewhat strange nun, now is not a good time for them to cause trouble for the two.

So, Nozomi and Aponia returned to the church under everyone's dazzling gazes... This place became a bit desolate, and there were not many people around... It was understandable, after all, this place changed from a [neutral zone] where they could get help to a place that was the focus of gangsters, and no one would be willing to come here.

At most... there will be people who want to bury the body? After all, the cemetery is behind the church, but it is hard to say whether there will be people who come to the cemetery specifically to bury people in Twilight Street...

Pushing open the fence that had become tattered in just a few days, Nozomi walked into the front yard. Looking at the bloodstains still remaining on the ground and the messy footprints that almost trampled everything clean, he remained silent.

Continuing forward, they walked into the church, where they met another man. He was holding a somewhat tattered curtain and constantly picking up some odds and ends. He wrapped them together with a shovel that was obviously stained with mud and water with the curtain cloth, and then put it on his back. He also picked up a few tattered wooden boards from the ground and held them in his hands.

Nozomi remembered that the shovel should have belonged to the church, and those wooden boards should have been the chairs in the church.

Nozomi also sensed a damp smell from him... Was it an illusion? He felt that after this coma, his perception of water had become more acute.

Of course, more importantly... Nozomi knew him. He and Nozomi had distributed porridge to other people before. His simple sweet steamed cakes were loved by many people. Whenever there was surplus sugar in the church, many people would ask him to make steamed cakes for everyone to share. That simple dessert could bring people a little comfort.

"Ah, Father...you...you are back..."

When he saw the two people coming, he seemed a little flustered and nervous. His eyes were wandering and he almost didn't dare to look into Nozomi's eyes.

"Hello, I haven't seen you for a few days... Are you doing well?"

"Ah... still... still okay..."

"If possible... could you tell me what you are doing? And..."

Nozomi looked at the extremely empty church and asked softly.

"Here...what happened later? Are the others...ok?"

"This…that…"

He subconsciously hid the package he was carrying behind him, hesitated for a moment, gritted his teeth, and told the truth.

"The people here...were all taken away by them, but later, they brought us back and let us take the supplies ourselves...They said that anything from the church would be fine, anything that could be taken away by us would be fine, as long as we could get it before they took it away, then it would belong to us, and these would become our [start-up capital], which we could exchange from them for supplies for the first few days..."

"Then... in order to make their lives easier in the next few days, everyone started looting... like cloth, wooden furniture, glass, etc.... anything that looked useful was taken away. At that time, everyone went crazy and almost got into a fight... If they hadn't stepped forward to stop it, I'm afraid many people would have been injured."

He didn't dare describe it to Nozomi in too much detail, because the performance of everyone at that time... was really too embarrassing. It was as if they wanted to prove to the gangsters that they had nothing to do with this place anymore, as if they had no attachment to this church that had given them a brief peace.

He felt ashamed of himself for making the same choice as those people, and also felt guilty towards Nozomi who still cared about everyone even at this point.

So at that time, he did not go forward and join others in looting the last bit of supplies left in the church. He felt ashamed of everyone and of his own choice.

Of course, more importantly, he had already been favored because of his decent dim sum skills, so he didn't have to compete with those people...

As for why he came back now, on the one hand, he was asked by several people to come back to take care of some things. The shovel and the curtain cloth for collecting things were also provided by those people. On the other hand, he came to see if there was anything left that could be used.

'As expected, I was also a hypocritical person' Thinking so, he became more and more afraid to look into Nozomi's eyes.

'But... I should still have some conscience, just like those people who... asked me to do that thing for them, so... I should still have some conscience,' he comforted himself like this.

"Thank you for your answer... Please go back quickly. It would be bad if they scold you because of me."

"After that... please take good care of yourself. May [She] bless you."

Nozomi nodded vaguely, stepped aside slightly to make way, and politely asked the other party to leave using the etiquette that had become his habit.

"Uh-huh..."

He walked away in a hurry as if he was running away.

"...Sister, please go back first. The children need to be taken care of."

After a moment's silence, Nozomi calmed himself down and then spoke to Aponia.

"As for me...I need some quiet time."

"...I understand, but...please come back before sunset. Your body still needs to be healed."

Aponia looked at the increasingly shining gold in Nozomi's pupils, hesitated for a moment, and nodded slightly. After giving some caring instructions, she slowly left.

Nozomi watched her leave and then walked towards the small living cottage behind the church.

Following the damp smell, he found the place where the person who had just left had been. Here, Nozomi sensed other smells mixed in the damp air, the smell of blood, and... the smell of a corpse.

Very faint, just the remnants.

Looking around carefully for clues, and then continuing forward, he found two piles of earth next to each other, which were obviously newly piled up. There were also two wooden boards serving as tombstones in front, with the names of Father Yan Zheng and the nun written on them.

This was done by the person who just left, and maybe... there were also efforts from others.

Nozomi knelt in front of them, gently stroking the two simple tombstones, and the emotions that were constantly surging in his heart were slightly soothed.

It turns out that there are still people who are willing to do this...

As Nozomi thought about this, the madness in his heart gradually subsided, and the golden color that had begun to spread in his pupils at some point also began to slow down.

As long as it exists... As long as it exists... At least it can prove that our efforts are not all in vain, and our kindness will be rewarded after all.

"sigh..."

Nozomi took a long breath and adjusted his breathing, and when he opened his eyes again, his expression had become firm.

He stood up, bowed deeply to the two tombstones, then left resolutely and returned to the empty church.

Kneeling in the place where he used to pray, he wrapped the pendant's thin chain around his hands, placed the cross between his thumbs, closed his eyes, and lowered his head, letting the cross lightly touch his forehead, and offered his piety to the place that had long been empty.

Pray to Him.

"My beloved Lord..."

Ask Her.

"Please give me strength, and change this place, this chaotic place..."

Pray to Her.

"Let the kind be rewarded, let the ordinary be at peace, and let the greedy and evil be punished."

"Let everyone receive the appropriate judgment for their actions, and let everyone receive the appropriate results for their actions."

"At least, let the people here have a place where they can feel at ease..."

[What are you willing to pay for this?]

[He] asked.

"My everything."

[...Can]

[She] seemed to think about it for a while, and then readily agreed.

[I give you strength, you follow my words. I will lead you to change all this]

[She] did not mention the exact "price" that Nozomi would have to pay. Perhaps in [Her] opinion, when Nozomi was willing to answer with "everything," [She] had received the most satisfactory "reward."

Soon, the sound of wings flapping gently could be heard, and a burning and sharp feeling quickly came over Nozomi, making him think of the [Sword Fire] he had seen before, but soon, this feeling faded.

"...Father? Father?"

In a trance, he could hear a soft and somewhat anxious call, and he felt his shoulder being gently shaken.

It was Aponia. It was almost night, and she came again because she was worried about Nozomi. However, this time, she found that Nozomi... seemed to be different.

The aura of "Him" on his body became stronger.

"Nothing, Sister."

Nozomi spoke softly, without much change in his tone, but it gave people an "irresistible" feeling.

He stood up, facing her, and looked at her with his strange three-color eyes that had changed to almost completely gold, with only a little dark and scarlet left on the outer circle.

"Let's go back."

He said this and then took the lead to leave. Aponia was slightly distracted for a moment, and then quickly followed him.

But this time, she did not walk side by side with him as usual, but lagged behind him by half a step, following behind him—she already knew something.

Nozomi didn't seem to have any objection to this and just moved forward silently.

After returning to the sanatorium, Nozomi didn't seem to have changed much except that he became much quieter and his speech became strange. He was still willing to play with the children with a smile and help with chores.

However, he and Aponia had fewer topics to talk about, and it seemed that they no longer had the same equal relationship as before, but had turned into a relationship... similar to that of a "superior and subordinate."

Late at night, the children had all fallen asleep. In the dim hall, Nozomi looked at the silver moon outside the window and said softly.

"Don't go out tomorrow."

He turned and spoke to Aponia, who was kneeling beside him and doing her routine prayers.

"Yes."

Aponia did not object or raise any doubts but simply responded softly.

Nozomi understood, turned to look at the bright moon, and tightly grasped the slightly hot cross pendant in his hand.

"...[The Judgment] will come tomorrow."

He whispered softly.