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029 - Ambushes, counter-ambushes and other traumatic experiences (3 of 3)

Illyasviel von Einzbern

Freedom at last!

No matter how hard Sella tries to go about that whole 'remaining safe' business nonsense. In the end, it's always been Berserker's willingness to back her up that kept me from simply leaving. And now she doesn't have her backing anymore!

It's all thanks to the dreaming cycle. Learning about Berserker's life through dreams is always interesting, but last night I dreamt of something actually useful. About a part of her life when she was miserable, missing the bliss of the great outdoors and crushed by feelings of entrapment.

It wasn't hard to realize she felt just as cooped up in the mansion as I did, and that she only put up with it for my sake. Reaching that point, I just had to crack down hard on the lack of freedom angle, allowing my own feelings of frustration and disappointment to run unchecked. I might've turned on the waterworks a bit too.

Suddenly, Berserker was willing to listen when I talked about slipping outside to see the city 'just this once'. Oh, I'm sure Sella will give me an earful once we get back, but she can't exactly reach backwards in time to take it away from me. Plus, once Berserker has relented once, convincing her to relent again will only get easier and easier~!

Now, don't get me wrong, I do feel a bit bad about manipulating Berserker (for something other than trying to get into her pants) but I was really going stir-crazy, cooped up in the mansion. And the only reason I care about this stupid War to begin with is for the chance to confront Onii-chan and Onee-chan. I'm not going to do that from behind the walls of the mansion, that's for sure.

So I've spent all morning sightseeing in the city, Berserker's immaterial form hovering right behind me. It's huge! And has lots of different things to see. Nothing like the boring Einzbern Castle and the endless forests around it. And sure as hell nothing like the mansion Sella has been making sure I can't leave.

In the city hall, I read that there used to be two different cities on both sides of the river. Shintou and Miyama, who grew until they became a single one.

Shintou is fairly modern, with brand new buildings of glass and steel everywhere, a huge department store, arcades and many other things I had only read about before. Miyama on the other hand is an old town. That's where the Tohsaka and Matou ancestral homes are located, plus some other positively ancient things like the Ryuudou temple. If the pamphlet I'm reading can be trusted, some buildings are older than my own family.

And that's saying something.

It's been fun so far, getting up skyscrapers and mixing up with the crowds. Watching the parks and gardens and eating strange food for lunch, even if I had to hypnotize a couple of police officers who were trying to get me to my parents. And that cashier hag who didn't want to sell me a Hitachi Magic Wand. That kind of put a damper on things.

Stupid tiny body, it never brings anything good.

Of course, it's not my fault if I just happen to cross paths with another Master as I'm walking through the city. The messy black hair is a dead giveaway, looking exactly like the pictures and making me wonder once again if Onii-chan wouldn't actually be Papa's illegitimate son instead of adopted. The two of them look a lot alike.

Except that Onii-chan's hair is shorter. And he doesn't have Papa's cool and dark frown. Nor the manly stubble. The eye color isn't nearly the same either. And Onii-chan is way hotter, I loved Papa to bits, but I'm not sure what Mama saw on him, really.

… On second thought, they don't actually look that much alike.

"Ne, Berserker." I muse idly, watching Onii-chan distractedly step into a side-street, a cheerful tune in his lips and a carefree dumb expression on his face. "How do you feel about having your first fight?"

There's no verbal answer, but I got a distinct unamused feeling coming from Berserker. As if she's trying to decide how much of this is happenstance and how much is my fault, but she finally makes her reluctant agreement known. Silly Berserker, I would never be careless enough to actually stumble into another Master by accident.

We follow Onii-chan around for a while, waiting for the sun to come down and the streets to empty a bit. We technically can't have a fight in the middle of the day, after all, but that doesn't mean we can't follow him around until a more convenient time.

Incidentally, now that we are personally trailing him, all those familiars I had combing the city can finally be dismissed. [Memory Partition] or not, keeping so many of them was a bit taxing on my poor brain.

We follow him around the city, watching him do his groceries and other seemingly whimsy purchases without a care in the world. Apparently, he's still enjoying the everyday life I've never been allowed to experience in the first place. As if summoning a Servant and becoming a Master means absolutely nothing to him.

It kind of pisses me off.

As we keep observing his progress, my mood only worsens. I see him visiting a sports store and wasting half an hour happily chatting with the clerk, buying random pseudo-mystic knick knacks from a new-age shop and various groceries from small shops all along the way.

He then spends a full hour inside a bookstore. He comes out with big hardcover books for kids, full of colourful drawings, small soft cover books with drawings of cute girls and heavy-looking books that actually remind me of what we have in the library back in the mansion.

After overhearing him arrange a delivery for what totals as half a metric ton in confectionery supplies, I'm about ready to give him up as a careless idiot. Is he going to buy anything at all related to the War? Make any preparation? At least look a bit wary or alert about the ongoing conflict?

Don't tell me he's going to happily dance to his own death, that would be… Anticlimating. And very disappointing, I haven't spent years planning on how to pay my siblings back for taking Papa away, only for them to end up incapable of putting up a fight.

I'm still pissed off, but now I'm a bit worried too.

"… Okay, I've decided!" I declare after thinking things over. "I'll be a good sport and give him a warning!"

There's a sense of confusion coming from Berserker, and I let out a sigh. Sometimes, she takes my protection far too seriously. Life is much more than just being alive!

"Yes, I'm being serious." I confirm. "What's the point of defeating an enemy that cannot put up a fight at all?"

The confusion becomes disagreement as Berserker draws closer to me, her protectiveness making me smile in spite of my annoyance. She doesn't understand. She really should, but somehow she doesn't.

"It's like…" How could I put it in terms berserker would understand? Oh, I know! "Tracking down a boar for days, only to find it was already dead when you finally found it. It sure is convenient, but that's still a total disappointment, isn't it?"

That makes her pause, her protectiveness taking a step back as she carefully considers my words, before finally giving me her grudging agreement. She's obviously not enthused at the idea, but such is life. Everyone dies in the end, and I refuse to die of boredom.

"Yeah! That's why I'm going to give him a warning." I nod enthusiastically. "I have been preparing for this for a while! I don't want it to be a disappointment!"

But if we're not going to fight today, I don't need to wait nearly so long. Twilight is more than good enough to give an ominous message. The next time Onii-chan finds himself on an empty street, I'll call him out and give him a good and proper scare. These things need to be properly savored, and I intend to enjoy Onii-chan and Onee-chan until there's nothing left to wring out of them.

My thighs rub together in anticipation as I picture their naked forms in my dungeons, covered in chains and looking up to me with eyes full of fear. Yes, that'll be a glorious treat to savour. But proper steps need to be taken and I need to get there by following the right steps, it's poor manners to skip straight to the desserts, after all.

As Onii-chan finally gets into a deserted street, a thick mist starts rolling in. Perfect, just the sort of ambience I need for my performance. Positioning myself to have a streetlamp right behind, I make sure my appearance is properly ethereal and mysterious. I frown when I notice Onii-chan is getting a bit too far, it would be pathetic if I had to scream my lungs out to be heard. Fortunately, there's magecraft for projecting one's voice

Now that everything's ready, I just need Berserker to materialize at my side and–

"You can't kill Daddy, Mommy will be sad and then we'll have to kill you." I freeze at the feeling of cold steel at my neck, of a hand suddenly covering my mouth and a childish voice whispering in my ear, as if sharing a playground secret. "Killing pretty bitches in heat is our specialty."

My mind locks up. I can't think, I can't move. Pure terror coursing through my veins as a presence that just feels custom-tailored to take everything I am and render it into nothing presses itself against my back. This is not an idle threat, nor the vague danger of walking with death that comes with the field of magecraft. Death itself looms behind me and whether I live or die is completely out of my hands.

I have never truly feared death before. Not during the agonizing process of tuning up my faulty body, nor while the wolves circled me in the snowy grounds of the Black Forest, nor when I understood what it meant to become the Lesser Grail for this war. No matter how close I was to death, I always felt it as an abstract, something inevitable that there was no point in worrying about.

That was 'reality' and those were the 'consequences' of my 'nature'. It was simply who 'Illyasviel von Einzbern' was, a short-lived homunculus with a final purpose to fulfill in death. But now, with a blade pressing on my throat and my killer right behind my back… It's become my 'nature' to be the 'victim', for the 'perpetrator' with a knife at my neck to take control of my fate.

I don't want to die!

"▂▂▃▃▄▄▅▅!"

An outraged roar that never before has failed to comfort me echoes breaks the silence, the form of Berserker taking shape at my side and hitting the ground with enough force to make it explode. Dust and chunks of concrete are sent flying everywhere as the small form of my assailant lands some distance away, completely unscathed.

With a protective growl, Berserker steps in front of me, but the figure doesn't look interested in a real engagement, distractedly licking the edge of her dagger. Silver eyes glow in the dark, giving out an unsettlingly feline impression as what can only be an enemy Servant stares right into my soul.

One blink and it tilts its head.

Another blink, and the dagger returns to its sheath.

All through the process, Berserker bristles and growls warningly and I can only stay still, mind still frozen in terror and heart beating hard enough to leap out my throat.

"We'll see you again, pretty bitch."

With those words, the unknown creature disappears.

As she does, the panic gripping my mind relents a bit, my hand slowly going to my throat to find it wet. It's only when I take a look at my palm that I realize it's blood. I didn't even feel the cut. Taking a shuddering breath, I feel my knees give under me, hands wrapping around myself as I fall to the ground. Some strange, idiotic part of my mind notes how I'm staining my clothes with blood.

Berserker joins the hug and, for the first time ever, I fail to feel comforted by her warm embrace.

I don't want to die.

Onii-chan utterly forgotten, I just stand in place, letting Berserker hold onto me while I try to get my shivering body back under control. What was… what was that thing?