Standing in front of Toby Smith's door on the 27th floor, a knot formed in my stomach. This was the last place I wanted to be. The memories of our time together – a chaotic blend of strugle and pain – washed over me. Toby, the ex-lover I had tried so hard to forget.
We met a few years back, drawn together by our mutual fascination with music. But beneath his talent, Toby harbored a dark addiction to SynthNerve – a drug that enhanced neural connections but at a great cost. It made him unpredictable, sometimes brilliant, other times a complete wreck.
I spent months fighting for him, trying to pull him away from his addiction. But it was like trying to hold onto a shadow. The man I cared for would disappear for days, lost in a drug-induced haze, leaving behind an empty shell. That's why I named my plant Toby – on his sober days, he was just as lifeless as that plant.
The last time I saw him, things turned ugly. He was in the throes of a major breakdown, the drugs and his paranoia pushing him over the edge. He... he tried to force himself on me. The memory still sends shivers down my spine. If it hadn't been for Uncle Chen bursting in, I don't know what would have happened. Chen had put him in his place, giving me a chance to escape.
I never went back after that. Never wanted to. But here I was, outside his door again, driven by necessity. Toby was a skilled netrunner, probably the only one who could help me make sense of the security footage from my apartment, and maybe track Tom. But at what cost?
Taking a deep breath, I raised my hand to knock. My heart raced, and I felt the familiar glow of my eyes as my cyberware kicked in, trying to regulate my stress levels. "Focus, Marlene," I whispered to myself. "Just get the information and get out."
I knocked on the door, bracing myself for what was on the other side. Would he even help me? Could I navigate through this encounter without dredging up the past we shared? As I waited for a response, the eerie silence of the corridor felt oppressive.
"Come on, Toby, open up," I muttered under my breath, my hand balling into a fist at my side. I was ready to face him, to confront this part of my past, but I couldn't shake the feeling of dread that clung to me like a second skin.
The door slowly creaked open, and I was met with the sight of a woman with long blonde hair, her appearance a patchwork of cybernetic enhancements that looked like they were chosen more for affordability than quality. Her wide eyes locked onto mine in surprise, mirroring my own shock.
"Is Toby... home? I need to talk to him," I managed to stammer, my hand inching towards the paralyzer glove in my jacket.
To my astonishment, the woman's expression softened and, in a swift motion, she flung the door wide open and enveloped me in a tight hug. I tensed, caught off guard, my mind racing.
"It's me. I'm Toby," she said, releasing me from the embrace. Her voice was different, yet there was a familiar cadence to it. "I thought this day would never come."
She pulled me into the flat, and I stepped inside, still reeling from the revelation. The place was a mess - scattered cybernetic parts, old takeout containers, and loose data chips cluttered every surface. The air was stale, heavy with the scent of synthetic lubricant and old food.
"You're... Toby?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.
She nodded. "Yes, it's me, Marlene. After our last encounter, I realized that being a man just wasn't working for me. So, I decided to change... to become Kristina." There was a hint of pride in her voice as she said her new name.
"Kristina..." I repeated, trying to process the transformation in front of me. Toby - now Kristina - had drastically changed, and it was more than just the physical appearance. There was a new sense of peace about her that I hadn't seen in Toby.
Kristina smiled softly. "I wanted to make peace with my past, and that includes you. I wasn't ready to face you until now."
The revelation left me struggling to reconcile the person in front of me with the memories I held. Kristina continued, her voice cracking with emotion. "Thank you, Marlene. For everything. For every struggle, for every fight." Tears welled up in her eyes, and before I knew it, she was crying, her head resting on my shoulder.
I stood there, frozen, unsure of how to react. The person I had come to confront, the person I had blamed for so much pain, was now crying on my shoulder, a completely changed individual. Kristina's sobs were heartfelt, full of years of pent-up emotions. "Please, forgive me," she murmured between tears.
The situation was overwhelming. Yet amidst the emotional turmoil, a part of me remembered the purpose of my visit. I gently disentangled myself from the embrace and looked Kristina in the eyes. "I... I came here because I need your help, your skills as a netrunner."
Kristina wiped her eyes and shook her head slowly. "I don't do that anymore, Marlene. Since rehab, I've stayed away from netrunning. I've left that part of my life behind. I'm sorry, I can't help you with what you need."
Her words hit me like a ton of bricks. The one lead I thought I had, the one person who could have helped me make sense of the security footage and perhaps track Tom, was no longer an option. I felt a surge of frustration, mixed with a strange sense of respect for the changes Kristina had made in her life.
I took a step back, trying to gather my thoughts. "I understand," I said, more to myself than to her. "I'm sorry for bringing up the past. I won't trouble you anymore."
As I turned to leave, a sudden wave of anger surged through me. All the pent-up frustration and helplessness I had been feeling came to a head. I spun around, facing Kristina again.
"You know, it's just so typical of you, Toby... Kristina," I spat out the names with a mix of bitterness and contempt. "Always so wrapped up in your own world, your own problems. You think changing your name, your appearance, wipes away the past? You're just as selfish and foolish as ever!"
Kristina looked taken aback, her eyes widening in shock at my outburst. For a moment, there was a palpable tension between us, the air thick with unspoken grievances and pain.
Finally, she shook her head, a resigned look crossing her face. "Okay," she said quietly. "I'll help you."
I paused, my anger subsiding as quickly as it had erupted. "Really?"
"Yes," Kristina affirmed, wiping away a stray tear. "I can't turn my back on the past, and I can't ignore someone in need. Not after everything. I'll help you with the security footage and tracking down Tom."
A complex mix of relief and guilt washed over me. I had lashed out at Kristina, yet she was willing to help despite everything. "Thank you," I muttered, feeling a bit ashamed of my earlier outburst.
Kristina nodded, moving towards her workstation cluttered with various screens and interfaces. "Let's get to work then. Show me what you need."