Our Crumbling Spirit || Simon

Everyone's spirit was dying.

I observed the dismal homes in this poverty-stricken town. The slums. Very much like my own home. Dryland cracked beneath the decaying structures and under the weight of thousands who'd lost hope. These people didn't know how to smile anymore. They had no reason to. Not when despondency was potent in the earth and misfortune favored everyone. 

"Simon."

Staring out the window, I met the tired eyes of the many we passed on the road. While they would continue to suffer wherever the government would have me relocate them, I had to move ahead. I suffered, too, but I was at least fortunate enough to have a job that could provide for my family. 

But was this okay? For me to have what I did while others suffered? Was it…okay for me to survive at the expense of others?

My partner flicked the nape of my neck. "Are you listening?"

I whipped my gaze to Nell in the seat beside me. And my eyes fell to the rifle in her gloved hands. She offered it. "I can tell by looking at you that you're not ready for this."

"It isn't right."

"I know," she answered numbly. 

I stared at her. "What about you? Are you ready?"

Her lips twitched like she wanted to frown but wouldn't allow herself to. Gazing flatly out my window, she answered in a near whisper, "How can anyone ever be ready for something like this?"

The gun tormented me as I naively hoped this assignment to relocate the whole town was so it could be restored to a decent state. But something burdened my conscience when I accepted the rifle. Quietly and cowardly, I knew that the government was acting self-interestedly. 

And there was nothing I could do to combat it.