A Bad Rose

He was right about how much time I had on my hands before Reinhardt arrived. The ETA was around three days.

I knew when the universe was telling me to use this time to mediate so I was planning on obeying.

I really couldn't afford messing up on my mission with Reinhardt and going into Galvanic form then doing something crazy.

I bunkered myself in my designated room that still smelled like burnt metal and prepared to mediate for a long period of time.

"Watch over me, S3bastian."

"Whatever." Was his response that confused me for a second before I remembered why he was like this.

I guess I have some things to address before I mediate.

"Listen S3bastian, you're an ass and if you're expecting an apology for what I did, don't expect one. This isn't only about the omnium, you're out of line on many occasions.

The comments, I can deal with, but the moment you feel like its ok for you to disregard our partnership, or my safety, I won't hesitate to put you back in your place." I say to him.

Tapping headpiece on my mask, I open a communication with Abigaile.

"I shouldn't have talked to you like that; I apologize."

"Thats ok, you were right in saying it wasn't my place to comment." She responds.

"No, an employer should treat their employees with respect and make sure they're taken care of. I can promise I'll never talk to you like that again." I assure her. Then I look at S3bastian who has remained quiet this entire time.

"Take this time to think on how you want our partnership to be like, S3bastian. Do you want us to be best friends, or people that tolerate each other? The choice is yours."

He crosses his arms and uses a hand to mimic me talking and I roll my eyes.

'Was he just a big kid?' I wonder as I head over to my bed as S3bastian leaves the room.

On the stand I light a candle that releases a soothing fragrance that will assist me entering the Zazen state.

Getting into position, I take a deep breath and prepare the guilt trip I know that I'm going to go through.

Well, at least when I get overwhelmed, I can just leave it and start over.

I don't activate my Galvanic state this time as I doubt that I would make the choice to mediate while in that form and do something stupid.

Closing my eyes and regulating my breathing, I quickly fall into the Zazen state.

Nothing happens.

No thoughts come to mind, no usual feeling of lightness.

Curious, I open my eyes to find the world around me has changed.

The room is dark, even though the light above it illuminates it with an unnatural white that somehow enhances the dark of the room.

Looking around, I notice the candle on the stand has morphed into a face, looking in agony as the blue flame slowly melts it.

Standing up in shock, I immediately want out of this experience.

I realize, I have no idea how to leave. Usually just breaking focus made you leave the Zazen state.

I close my eyes and think back to how the room was before I tried to mediate.

Opening my eyes, my heart beats faster as I see that I'm still here.

Panicking a bit, I continuously open and close my eyes in denial of the situation I'm in.

Seeing that wasn't working, I control my breathing again and calm down, as I begin to think about how to get out.

Obviously, I was here for the long run, meaning that I needed to experience whatever the Zazen state was going to show me.

With that in mind, I step towards the door and press the button to let myself out.

The door opens to reveal another me with a smirk on his face.

His hair was black, and his eyes were purple as they looked me up and down.

'Oh. It's one of those things huh?'

Sighing as I look at the other me, "Let me guess, you're evil me?"

His smile grows wider, and he can't control himself as he starts laughing hysterically, dropping to the floor while holding his stomach.

I let him finish which takes at least two minutes, as he slowly stands, wiping the tears from his eyes.

"How'd you know? You done this before?" He asks.

His voice sounds like mine, but deeper, more distorted like there's more than one person talking. It was a bit, unnerving.

"No, I'm just smart enough to put the pieces together." I respond nonchalantly even though I can feel a fear beginning to settle, causing goosebumps.

He smirks again, "Well, you would like to think you are, but you're actually the opposite."

The floor under me cracks, and I begin to fall with the pieces into an abyss.

Looking up, I see the "evil me" peering over the edge, keeping that stupid smirk as I fall.

As the little light from the room, I was in grows farther away into a dot, I look away into the darkness.

Stunned by how dark it is, I momentarily get discombobulated as I can't tell if I have my eyes closed or not.

My descent slows, as my feet touch the ground, but I can't tell my surroundings as there is still nothing but the void.

I spin around, or I think I do, but still only see the darkness.

On my final turn, I spot something that makes my heart sink as I recognize mahogany double doors.

Slowly approaching it, I don't need to look at the gold nameplate on the side of the door to know where it leads.

My hand creeps towards the door handle and I hesitate to open it.

'Why am I like this? Just deal with him and forget he exists like you used to.'

Without further delay, I open the door to reveal the same office I always remember.

Only this time, darkness surrounds the sides, showing only certain areas of the bookshelves as the desk and chairs an illuminated.

Looking more closely at the bookshelves as I start to walk to the desk, I caught a slight flicker as its entire frame loses its form then just as quickly corrects itself.

Having a seat in the same chair I always did when addressing him, I wait for him to swing his big chair around as it was faced towards a window that usually would show the omnium below, but now only had the abyss.

His chair suddenly whips around, and I get a moment of disappointment as I come face to face with "evil me".

His annoy smirk grows wide as he leans back in the chair.

"What's wrong, expecting our dad? Well, much like most of our life, he's not here."

"That's fine, I didn't him then, and I especially don't need him now." I respond back to him trying to be unfazed.

The creeping feeling of fear begins to fester as it gives rise to other emotions like uneasiness, doubt and anger.

Before I can try to find out why I'm feeling like this Shawn says,

"Is that why you were disappointed just now? Admit it, you miss him."

I suddenly think back the day I first got adopted, when he took me to go get ice cream from the same ice cream parlor I used to go to when I wanted some.

To get me to stop being scared, he took the straw, broke off an end and blew it at the table.

I was amazed because I didn't know it could do that and tried it myself only to fail.

He smiled at my attempt, and it slightly made me happy.

I shake my head, clearing the memory from my mind.

'That wasn't me, that was the other Shawn.' I tell myself.

When I saw the mahogany double doors, I thought the Zazen was making me find some closure with my father and I was disappointed to find it was the evil Shawn.

'I was disappointed that I was wrong.'

"Oh yeah, sure. Keep telling yourself these things so you can sleep at night." Evil Shawn says.

Of course, he could read my mind.

"My concern for my father is about as real as you are." I say to him.

"Oh, you think I'm not real? You think this is a dream? You're obviously too stupid to understand, but I'm you." He says to which I'm not surprised.

I kind of figured that it was one of those clique moments as soon as I saw him. It was only a matter of figuring out how to deal with him and moving on.

"You don't say? I long ago figured that out. So, what do you want? Full control of the body or something so you can run rampant killing and doing whatever you please?" I ask.

"The moment that you realize that you're nowhere as smart as you think you are, is the moment when you'll understand all of this. I'm already in control, but I want something that apparently you've been hogging all to yourself so far."

He actually had me stumped on whatever he was talking about. He quickly caught on to my probable stupid look on my face and starts laughing again.

The wait for him to stop isn't that long this time to get an answer.

"What do you mean?"

He sighs as his hand goes to his forehead as he shakes it.

"This is the only time I'm going to spell something out of your dumbass. The form you call the Galvanic state. I want to be the one in control of it." He proclaims.

"Let me guess, you're going to fight me for it, right?" I ask knowing full well how I've seen this go from different anime.

He pauses for a second, "Are you sure you haven't done this before?"