1. Girls are jerks, so I'll be a bigger jerk...

"From now on, you're my boyfriend, and I am your girlfriend." Little Cindy said, and then she kissed the five-year-old Reuel Caddel on the cheek, and he blushed, his insides tickled, he was filled with extreme happiness as his first love just came true.

But then the next day, at school, he sees her holding hands with another boy, and when he approaches her, she tells him... "You're not my boyfriend anymore." With tears in his almost unrealistic malachite green eyes, he asks, "why?" And she tells him, "Because you gave me two bars of chocolate, but he gave me two bars and a half. So I like him now."

And that was how his first relationship with a woman ended. His first heartbreak... It was like a knife straight to his little heart, his first love gone down the drain, with tears and a fat, snotty nose.

His heart was so broken that he said, "I will never love again." until five years later, he sees the girl of his dreams just moved into their neighborhood... And just like that, he was in love again

"I really like you, will you be my girlfriend?" Ten year old Reuel had asked, and she had kissed him on his cheek and told him that was a sign of their first day as a couple.

Little Reuel was overwhelmed with joy as his broken heart from five years ago was finally fixed. Until...

"Sorry..., but Mark has a cool leather jacket. I'm breaking up with you now." And that was it, another love lost. This time, it was like a long spear was propelled into his heart.

Once again, poor Reuel was devastated and tearful, and extremely snotty. "I will never love again." He had said again, but then three years later...

"Hey Reuel, I wanted to tell you that I like your emerald green eyes. Do you want to hang out with me sometimes?" He wanted to tell her that his eyes were a malachite, and not emerald, but then... Who cares about little details? For once again, thirteen years old Reuel Got himself a beautiful girlfriend.

And she even kissed him on the lips... On The Lips... Things were going smoothly this time... Yee-Hoo.

Or so he thought.

"You see I really like you, but I think it's time we part ways... I've found somebody new. I like guys with brown hair now."

That day Reuel ran home wailing like a baby, cursing the universe for giving him his beautiful glossy onyx dark hair. This was the third time his heart was broken, the third time. And it was more painful than the first two, like a sharp sword was plunged into his chest.

"I really will never love again. I will never ever love anyone again!!!" He said, burying his head into his snot-filled pillow.

Five years later, our dear Reuel is in high school, and once again has a beautiful girl by his side, and this time she really loved him, they did everything together, and he loved her with all his heart too.

But then... "Margaret, how could you?? I thought you said you loved me?" He cried, trying to hold back the tears as he caught his girlfriend kissing Dave, the school's soccer captain.

"OH, Reuel, this was bound to happen. I'm too good for you anyway. And besides,, who doesn't love a captain."

A knife, a spear, a sword, and now an axe. This fragile heart of his couldn't take any more blows, he was going to break. Why were his relationships never okay, why did they always stab his heart? Why did they always leave him for another guy??

"I will never, ever, ever love again." He screamed into her face and ran out of the hall, and he went home crying. Again.

Reuel is in college now, twenty-two years old, minding his own business, closing his eyes, and blocking out every image of anything girl. He wasn't going to get his heart pierced again...

But who was he to control his own heart when the beautiful Layla Cowell approached him, wanting to be friends, and he told his heart he would never love again, but like all the times before, he fell in love again. They even made love... Beautiful.

And once again...

"Oh! Reuel, you caught me." Layla says as Reuel walked into the apartment they shared and found her having sex with... With... Well, just some dude who looked more confident and bold than he did.

"I've been stabbed with a knife, a spear, a sword, I've been cut by an axe. And this time, this time she didn't just pierce another hole in my heart, she ripped the whole thing in shreds." He whispered to himself as he drowned in drinks in his mansion.

"There's nothing left to say anymore. Girls are jerks." He clenched the glass of spirit, the anger burning inside him like the alcohol in his system.

"Girls are jerks, so now. I'm gonna be a bigger jerk. I'll Never Love Again."

Like other times he had his heart broken, he said these words, but unlike the previous times... This time, he wasn't bluffing.