60. Chapter 60

She's worried now; she knows it's all over her face. Allie and Rafe need to pick up some things at Wal-Mart in town, and Castle suggest they split up. Kate feels the need to get back to the condo and find out what's going on - her gut instinct is screaming at her. It seems imperative in a way it wasn't only a few hours ago.

But they're having trouble figuring out how to divide everyone up. Clearly, Castle would like nothing better than to stick with Alexis, and Rafe by default, but Dashiell wants to go as well and they need his booster seat. Then there's Ella's car seat which is a pain to move to a new car.

"Actually, Castle, drive me back with the kids, then go meet Allie and Rafe out there. They can get a headstart on their grocery shopping." She raises her eyebrows at him, glances to Allie and Rafe. Everyone seems okay with that, so they fortunately can stop standing around the parking lot in front of the surf shop.

Kate takes Ellery out of Alexis's arms and heads for their SUV, hearing Castle hustling Dashiell along behind her. They wave and call good-byes to Allie and Rafe, and then she's buckling Ella in her carseat and getting in the passenger seat.

While Castle wrestles an excited and chatty Dash into his seatbelt, Kate pulls out her phone and debates texting Vickie. She feels it anxious inside her, welling up, and she glances behind her to Dashiell.

"What's up?" Castle says quietly, looking intently at her. He knows she wanted to talk to him alone; she can tell by the way he capitulated so quickly to the plan.

She waits until he gets behind the wheel and then she reaches across the console and squeezes his thigh, grateful for him. "I feel funny."

"You getting sick?" he asks, eyebrows knitting together.

"No, no. I mean, I have funny feeling. We saw Vicki and Austin, and they were-"

"Off." Castle nods. "I felt that too."

"It feels more than just. . .a strange incident while they were out. It feels. . .brittle."

"Tense. I got that too." Castle meets her eyes for a moment, then turns his head to back out of the parking space. "You want to tell me why this is so important to you?"

"I can't be concerned?"

"No, you can. You're so very good at dwelling there, empathic, with a victim's loved ones. But why this family? Why've they gotten to you?"

She bites her lip, feels his hand drop over hers on his thigh as he steers them out of the lot. "She reminds me. . .I don't exactly know. I just felt some kind of kinship with her. Because she's a fan, because she's a mom, I don't know."

"A fan? You mean, of the books?" He turns and grins at her, but it's not his teasing leer, it's a softer thing that she needs.

"Mm. And there was something - real about her, Castle. It's been hard to find lately."

He sighs and she flips her hand over to take his, squeezing. She doesn't blame him for the way her friendships have dried up; she did that on her own. But the money and the publicity and the hangers-on who are looking for money and publicity, those things make it difficult to find real friends.

"Madison?" he asks quietly.

"Madison is great; she doesn't change." Kate smiles at him, remembers the text. "But you know, she's been in this relationship, and now they're engaged. And she's got the restaurant; she's flying to J's games when she does have free time. So we've been hit and miss for the last few years."

"Soon as we get back to the condo, you should go up there," he says quietly.

She nods, glancing out the window. The mood of before isn't as heavy as it was; the surfing lesson with all her Castle kids, even her big Castle kid, has pulled her up again. As he always does, as her kids always do.

Grateful. Yes. So much.

When he pulls under the overhang at the front doors of the condominium five minutes later, Kate leans over and kisses his cheek with a brush of her fingers along his jaw. "Thanks."

"Of course," he murmurs, giving her that deep smile, eyes crinkled and soft. He turns to the back seat. "Say bye to Mommy, kiddos."

Dashiell bounces in his seat and leans forward, blowing her a kiss. "Bye, bye, bye!"

She grins and winks at him, catching his kiss and pressing it to her heart. "Thank you, baby. See you guys when you get back-"

"I wanna go with Mommy," Ella says suddenly, kicking her feet into the back of Kate's seat to get her attention.

Castle raises an eyebrow, indicating it's up to her, and Kate shrugs. "Sure, cricket. You can come with me." It might make it easier, since she's not sure she's got any right to burst in on Austin and Vicki and demand to know what's going on. But an unannounced play date. . .

When Kate opens the back door, Ellery gives her a wide grin, pushing her hair out of her face. Her round blue eyes track her mother's hands as Kate unstraps her from the carseat.

"Mommy, I did surf."

"You sure did."

Kate lifts her out of the seat and sits Ella on her hip, then blows a kiss back to Dashiell, grinning as the boy catches it and presses it to his chest with a little wriggle, as if he's so very happy for it. "See you later, my little man." Castle waves a salute at her and she smirks back.

She slams the door and heads into the condo, sliding her fingers through the hair at Ella's neck, noting the way it's started to curl just past her shoulders, growing longer in the humidity and sun.

"We need to get you a barrette, don't we? Keep the hair out of your eyes."

"Bet?"

"Barrette," she says slowly, stepping onto the elevator. Should she go straight to Vicki's or stop at their place first, text the woman instead? Hm. Straight to the Farrell's.

"Yes, Mommy, bet. Get it for me."

Kate laughs down at her, then kisses her forehead, pushing the hair back again. "That's right. We'll fix it when we get back to our room. Until then, I could braid your hair."

"You braid my hair?" Ella says, leaning her cheek on Kate's shoulder and fiddling with the strap of her shirt. "Mommy."

"Yeah, baby girl. Here. Get down, and we'll start it." She cups the girl's cheek and lowers her to the elevator car's floor, then rakes her fingers through Ellery's hair, scraping it back from her face. It reminds her of the one or two times she braided Allie's hair, reminds her of how grieving it was to think about Allie not having a mom to play beauty parlor with. She and Ella need to do that while Allie is here, play beauty parlor with all three of them.

Kate takes the strands of hair near her face and starts a tight braid down to her temple; that's as far as she can take it, since the girl's hair isn't quite long enough. Kate uses her teeth to pull the rubber band off her wrist, then wraps it around the end.

"There you go, cricket."

The elevator door chimes and slides open, so Kate nudges Ellery out even as the girl reaches up and gingerly touches her hair.

"Pretty?" her daughter asks, tilting her chin up to look at Kate, all blue eyes and the smattering of freckles kissing her cheeks. She's never had freckles before; it must be the sun.

Kate grins and pulls her phone out of her pocket. "Here, let me take your picture. And we'll post it so Daddy can see it too." She pulls up her instagram app - didn't she promise herself to use the digital camera instead of her phone on this vacation? Oh well. She reaches down to tilt Ella's face away, ever mindful of the publicity, then takes a snapshot of the braid, the curve of her pale cheek, the blue eye and beautiful lashes in profile.

She posts it as the original, then waits for it to load, squatting down next to Ella in the middle of the bank of elevators. The Farrells are on this floor, but now that she's here, she feels the need to slow it down. Take the time to make her daughter happy.

"Here, look. See your braid?" Kate shows her the picture and Ellery's little mouth drops open, lifting a hand to the braid as she gazes intently at the photo. "I think it's beautiful."

Kate's phone chimes at her and she pulls up the messages, grins, holds it out so Ella can see it. "Daddy wrote me. Look. See his big smiley face?"

"Daddy smiling at me?"

"Yup. He said he loves your hair, baby girl." Kate presses a kiss to her temple and strokes her thumb over the braid. "You like it?"

"I want braids all over," Ella says reverently, clasping her arms around Kate's neck. "Please?"

"As soon as we get back. I don't have any more rubber bands. They'll all fall out without rubber bands. Can you wait?"

"Okay," Ella sighs, but her lips lift into another little grin and she clings to Kate's neck as her mother tries to stand. "Uppie."

"Sure," she laughs, juggling her phone and her daughter as she starts down the breezeway. It's the same layout as their floor, just done in blues. The bottom six floors are green, the middle six are blue, and the top floors are white. Like a progressive sign of wealth or luxury.

"Mommy, where we going?"

Kate adjusts Ella on her hip, wrapping an arm under her bottom to get a better grip. "Remember Claire?"

"Claire is bigger than me."

"She is. You're a smart girl." Kate glances over at Ella, smiling at the way her little braid keeps the hair off her forehead and makes her eyes look so startlingly blue. "We're going to see Claire and her family."

"Graham. Tate."

"That's right."

"Um. And the mommy and daddy."

"Vicki and Austin. Good job." Kate searches the door numbers for their condo. "We saw them down in the parking lot and I wanted to visit a little more. Can you play with Claire?"

"I play with you, Mommy." Ella taps her fingers on Kate's shoulder, leans her head down again. She's probably worn out; Kate's not sure how much sleep she actually got, and this is her girl that likes about ten hours every night. Her little Castle sleeper.

And how can she say no to playing with mommy? "We'll see, little cricket."

She finds the Farrell's condo and rings the doorbell, shifting Ellery to her other side. There's a long moment where Kate isn't sure anyone is there, and then suddenly the door swings back.

"You forgot the key-" Vicki blinks, mouth opening in shock. Her eyes are red-rimmed and bloodshot, her face haggard without make-up. "Oh. Kate."

"Are you okay?" Kate takes a step forward, her detective training taking over. She's been nervous and wary for the last few hours, but the moment she's close to the problem, a sense of calm comes over her. She knows how to do this. "Vicki. Tell me what's wrong."

The woman lifts a trembling hand to her hair and scrapes it back. The beautiful violet blue of her eyes is made even more sparkling by the sudden swim of tears. Kate steps over the threshold, lets Ellery slide down her leg to the floor, keeping hold of her daughter's hand.

Vicki shakes her head and turns her back on Kate, a silent invitation. Kate shuts the door behind them and brushes the back of her hand to Ella's cheek. "You okay?" she murmurs quietly down to her daughter, even as Vicki heads for the living room. And the drink on the counter.

"Where's Claire?" Ellery says, peeking around the doorjamb to look for the girl.

"Vicki is Claire here?"

"No. No one's here."

Hmm. Kate glances back to Vicki's profile, her hand already around the tumbler, staring into space. Kate ducks her head into the first room on the right, sees Barbies and books and stuffed animals. "Hey, my little cricket. You need to play in Claire's room for a little while, sweetheart."

Ellery glances into the room and then back at Kate. "But-"

"Please, baby. I think Vicki needs a friend."

"I be a good friend."

"Yes, of course you are." She wasn't expecting a solitary woman nursing a drink. She should've left Ella with Castle and-

"It's okay," Vicki says suddenly, as if pulled from a dream. "I'm okay. She's not. . .she'll be fine with us in here."

Kate bites her lip and scoops Ellery back up, heading towards the solemn, fragile-looking woman. "Vicki. Tell me what's happened."

"He's leaving me," Vicki says with a choked growl, her lips twisting into a grim smile. "He's not in love with me anymore, and so he's leaving me."

Kate sucks in a breath, all her training abandoning her. Ellery squirms in her arms and Kate realizes she's holding her too tightly.

Vicki shakes her head, narrows her eyes. "I was using his phone to check email. I was just. . .I do that all the time. And there was a message, a text, and I. . ."

"Let's sit down," Kate murmurs, lifting her hand to Vicki's shoulder, turning her towards the living room's sofa.

Vicki goes, drops down heavily, brushes the back of a hand to her eye, but Kate notices there are no tears.

Ellery climbs off her mother's lap to the floor, picking up a couple of crayons, crawling under the coffee table towards what Kate can see is a blank pad of drawing paper. At least she's busy, and maybe won't be listening so much.

Vicki watches Ella for a long time, then turns her head away, closing her eyes tightly. "God, what is this going to do to my kids?"

Kate's chest twists and she reaches out, grabs Vicki's hands, squeezing tightly. "I don't know," she whispers back, chewing on the inside of her cheek. "I don't know - but they'll be okay. They'll be okay. You'll make it okay. You all can survive this."

Vicki shakes her head once, then nods, lips pressed tightly together. "Yes. Yes, I'll - he loves his kids. He does; I know he does. He says he'll support us-"

Kate squeezes Vicki's knee, shifts to the couch cushion beside her. "What do you need? Tell me what you need."

Vicki gives her a wan smile. "I'm. . .you don't even know me. Thank you for stopping by. I'll be fine-"

"No," Kate says softly, checks on Ella still under the coffee table coloring. "Talk to me. Vicki, where are the kids?"

"With him."

Kate nods, reaches up and brushes her hand over Vicki's shoulder, watching her closely. "Are they coming back here?"

Vicki nods. "I needed. . .to be alone. To lose it, you know? Without them having to watch their mother fall apart."

Kate purses her lips together, her chest squeezed tightly. She wishes she had Castle at her back for this one; she needs her partner. "I know," she murmurs. "Good plan. Smart to get them out of here."

Vicki's eyes drift away, her hand comes up to her chest, clutching at her shirt. She looks dazed.

"Have you had a chance to think?" Kate says quietly, trying to inject both compassion and strength in her voice. Vicki may not be entirely with it right now, but she's got to start thinking long-term, figuring out what to do, protecting herself.

"He was going to tell me when we got home. He wanted to give us one last family vacation," she says softly.

"But you found out." She mentioned an email? Oh. Oh, another woman. Oh, God. "There's. . .someone else?"

Vicki squeezes her eyes shut, her breath stuttering. Answer enough.

Kate's mouth twists and she glances away, struggling to keep herself in check. "How are you all getting home?" she says finally, clearing her throat when her voice sounds ragged.

Vicki gives an odd laugh; her eyes flare open, wide and staring past Kate towards the balcony doors. "Yeah. That will be a ride from hell. God, I hadn't even thought of that."

"Driving then," Kate surmises, watching Vicki crumble a little.

"In the van. I guess I'll. . .I can sit in the back with Claire. Have Tate sit up front. No, that won't work. He's got to watch his DVDs. Graham is. . .I hate to put more on him; I think he knows. God. I - but he could sit up front. I'll just. . ." Vicki shakes her head and tears spill over.

Kate pulls out her phone, calls up the browser. "No. That's. . .no. You're not doing that." She starts putting in dates and airport codes. "You're flying home. You can get there before everyone, have some time to yourself. Do what you want to his belongings, right? Front lawn or firepit."

Vicki gives a startled, choked laugh, glances wildly to Kate. "Oh, that's - no. I can't actually. We didn't really have the money for this trip, but-" She breathes out and presses a hand to her forehead.

Kate squeezes her knee. "I'll take care of it, Vicki. You need this. You need to get home first so you can get things started, find a good lawyer-"

"Oh, he wouldn't-"

"Did you think he'd do this either?" Kate lifts her eyebrows, knows it's harsh but there's no room for naivete here. Not when Vicki needs to be thinking about her kids, about saving a future for them. "You let him take the kids back in the van alone. You let him spend some quality time with the family he's breaking apart." The bastard. "You let him deal with Tate all on his own, with Graham who probably knows what's going on, with his little ten year old girl who's heart-"

Vicki's face twists again and Kate curses herself for mouthing off. So not the right time. She leans in and hugs the woman hard. She's got to get this together.

"You're going to be okay. You can do this. Let me book the flight. Let you get ahead of this."

Vicki swallows hard. "I couldn't let you-"

"It's a gift. From me," Kate says forcefully. "One fan to another."

Vicki shakes her head again, drops her eyes to Ellery coloring in the floor. "Oh, I can't. Kate. You can't do that."

"It's already mostly done," Kate murmurs, checking her screen again. "Here, I've got you an early flight tomorrow, straight to Little Rock. I've already reserved it in your name." She hovers her finger over the button, waiting on Vicki.

The woman stares at Kate, her eyebrows knitting together, her face twisting. "You. . .thank you."

Kate gives her a strong nod, books the flight. "Leaves at 8:15. I put your email in, so it will send you the itinerary. Need a ride to the airport tomorrow?"

She shakes her head. "I can rent a car."

"Let me give you some cash, just in case-"

"No, no. Oh no, Kate. I'll use his credit cards." And then Vicki gives a little startled laugh at her own words, then grins at Kate. "And maybe then I'll go get some things."

"You do that."

Ellery's suddenly appears at her feet; Kate leans down and scoops her up, holding her tightly, close to her chest. Everything aches, a twisting knot of grief that isn't her own but feels too close, too dark, trapped with her in the room. But the girl against her skin, the little fingers at her neck-

"Thank you, Kate," Vicki says suddenly, crossing her arms around her middle, looking somehow stronger, ready to handle it. And that makes the dark room of grief worth it, worth the way she's slid down into the silent and waiting sorrow.

Kate nods back. "I'll let you. . .I'll leave you to it. You call me if you need anything."

Vicki nods and stands up, leading her out.

The moment Kate is free of the condo, she calls Castle.

"Hey there, babe."

Her chest tightens. "I need you."

"Kate? Where are you? Are you at the condo?"

"Yes. I need you to come. I-" She closes her eyes, swaying in the middle of the breezeway, Ellery against her chest.

"Okay. Okay, I'm on my way. Alexis, let me have those-"

Kate hears him getting the car keys, finds her eyes drifting open again. She can do this. It's okay.

"You're not hurt, Kate? Ellery's okay?"

She starts walking again. "Yes. Yes, we're both fine. Fine. I'm sorry. Don't panic."

"Kinda late for that, sweetheart. I'm on my way."

She presses the elevator call button, leans against the wall, cradling Ella, the phone pressed to her ear, listening to Castle with last minute instructions, breathing on the other end of the line.

"I'm okay," she protests, finds herself able to get on the elevator when the doors open.

"This has to do with Vicki and Austin."

"Yeah," she sighs, and her throat closes up. She punches the button for their floor, presses her mouth to Ellery's forehead, breathes. She needs Castle. The belief in him - magic and Santa Claus and fate and true love. Wonder. The belief that things work out, that they, themselves, can make magic.

"It'll take me fifteen minutes to get back, love."

"I'm okay," she says again. "Hearing your voice is good."

"Oh, Kate."

"I'm okay."

The elevator is slow, but she needs it. Ellery twists in her grip and watches the numbers light up. "Mommy, we go up."

"Mm," she hums.

"Kate, are you in the elevator?"

"Yeah. Yeah, headed back to the room."

"You wanna tell me what happened?"

The elevator doors open, and Kate jerks forward, anxious to be surrounded by their own stuff, to get away from the rest of it. "He's leaving her."

"Ah. Damn it. What a stupid thing to do."

"Yeah." She swallows hard and heads down the corridor, cradling the back of Ella's head to her chest, needing the contact. Beautiful girl.

"Kate?"

"I just really need you here, Castle."

"I know," he murmurs, his voice that low and rumbling tenderness that strokes through to her soul. "I'll just keep talking until I get there, okay? I won't leave you alone."

"I know you won't." She sucks in a long, steadying breath and pulls the keycard out of her back pocket. "I know you won't."

"Ever."

"Ever," she repeats, swiping the card and opening the door. It smells like them, with sand and sunscreen mixed in with laundry and home. She heads for their bedroom, bringing Ellery with her, but changes her mind. She can't crawl into bed and close her eyes until Castle gets here. She doesn't want to scare her daughter.

"Kate. I love you."

"I know. I have no doubt." She moves to the kitchen bar and settles in a chair, Ellery in her lap. "Ella and I are going to color until you get here. You should hang up and pay attention to the road."

"Make me a picture, Kate."

She hums on a faint stirring of a smile, pulls the bag of markers towards them. Construction paper is next. Ellery immediately latches on to the purple, pulls the top off. "Markers!"

"That's Ella," Castle laughs. "Tell her to make Daddy a Halloween card. Like she made Allie."

Kate feels calmer already, more in control. Every syllable of his voice, every word, is a way of bringing her out of darkness. Dragging her back up into light. He's always been the one to make things okay again. "Hey cricket. Daddy wants you to make him a Halloween card like Allie's."

"Hi, Daddy!" Ellery perks up and leans in towards the phone. "I make a pumpkin."

"You hear that, Daddy?"

"Yeah, I hear it. Kate-"

"I'm okay. I'm good. Let me color with Ella. I'll see you in a few minutes."

"Kate," he sighs.

"I love you, too, Rick. More than anything."

She hears him sigh on the phone, relief and in memory, probably. Of how she fought for him that day in his study, how she convinced him she wanted to be there, and nowhere else.

"I'll be there soon, Kate." Resignation in his voice.

"I know." She hangs up and puts the phone on the counter, carefully out of Ella's reach, then takes the blue crayon and draws a cloud on the paper.

"No cloud, Mommy. Sun. Lots of sunshiney."

Kate pauses, lays the blue crayon down. "You're right, baby girl. We need lots of sunshine." She grabs the orange and red, the yellow, and starts making rays of light instead.