107. Chapter 107

AN: This chapter is based around episode 4.7. As usual when I follow an episode so closely, I wanted to take a moment to remind everyone reading that I am just borrowing the characters and storylines. I chose to follow this episode pretty closely because it was important for the Meredith/Lexie relationship. Unfortunately, because the episode is being followed so closely, it's a little...slow? Choppy? I don't know; I can't come up with the right adjective. It's definitely not my favourite chapter, but it was necessary and I thought you'd rather I post this and move on to the next chapter than spend another week trying to make it more interesting. The next several chapters have been mapped out and move the overall storyline ahead. I'm excited about moving forward and have some, hopefully, interesting ideas. As always, I'm open to suggestions if there's anything you want to see (and by see, I mean read) happen.

Having expected to spend her day watching Mark Sloan perform two face lifts, Meredith was surprised to find her name listed on the OR Board with Erika Hahn when she arrived for work. A quick, and somewhat uncomfortable conversation with Cristina and Alex in the Residents' Lounge told her Hahn had intentionally made the switch in order to keep Cristina off her service.

Meredith had tried to apologize to her best friend, but Cristina had stormed out of the room.

"She's not mad at me, just the situation," Meredith insisted, hoping she was right.

Alex scoffed. "Whatever you say."

She glared at him.

"Hey, if you don't want Hahn's service, I'll gladly trade you."

"Not a chance in hell."

"You owe me for eating my pizza," he said, referring the Meredith's lunch the day before.

"Yeah, well, that was revenge for sleeping with my sister."

"I thought she wasn't your sister."

"She's not," Meredith insisted. "But she's still..." She trailed off.

Alex shot her a knowing look, telling her he knew she didn't have a leg to stand on. "Just don't have sex with her in my house again. At least not until I move out so that I don't have to know about it."

"Whatever," Alex mumbled as he left the lounge.

Meredith made a face before following suit. She had to get to the cardio floor to find the new attending. She had never worked with Hahn before, so she had no idea what to expect. Cristina and Izzie offered very different experiences with the cardiothoracic surgeon.

The moment Meredith set foot in the cardio unit, she spotted Hahn standing at the Nurses' Station. She took a breath as she approached her. "Good morning, Dr. Hahn," she greeted. "I'm Dr. Grey-Shepherd. I was assigned to you for the day. I'm sorry I'm not more prepared, but I must have read the schedule wrong. I was expecting to work with Dr. Sloan this week." She hoped that playing dumb would save her from any animosity on Hahn's part.

Hahn turned from Meredith and gave her an approving nod. "I requested the schedule be changed," she explained. "I wanted to get to know the residents I'll be working with. Your mother is Ellis Grey, right?"

"Uh, was, yes."

"Was?"

Meredith nodded. "She passed away a few months ago."

Hahn's expression immediately became sympathetic. "I hadn't heard. I'm sorry."

"Thank you."

Hahn pursed her lips. "Dr. Grey-Shepherd."

Meredith nodded, uncertain.

"Any relation to Derek Shepherd?"

"He's my husband," she said carefully, but with confidence. It wasn't something she was ashamed of or trying to hide from anyone.

"I'd heard he was married to a resident," Hahn said.

For a moment, Meredith held her breath, waiting for the insult, but it never came.

"I wasn't going to believe it until I had proof," Hahn finished, humour evident in her tone.

"I'm sorry?"

Hahn smiled, as if sharing a joke. "I asked your husband and Dr. Sloan if they were a couple on my first day. The way they follow each other around..."

Meredith laughed. "They grew up together," she explained. Their friendship still surprised her after the better part of a year of hostility between the two. "They're kind of like brothers."

"That explains it."

Meredith nodded.

"Well, let's get started. We'll round on the patients on the floor. I want to see where your knowledge level is at. Have you spent much time in cardio?"

"No," Meredith said honestly. "I haven't had my second year rotation yet, and spent most of my internship focused on general and neuro."

"That should give you a good basis. Maybe we'll be able to pique your interest today."

Meredith smiled politely, knowing she had no future in cardio for several reasons. Her lack of interest was one. Another was her best friend.

Hahn proceeded in rounding on her patients, and asking Meredith a slew of questions for each condition they came across. Meredith answered what she could and learned about the rest. Hahn definitely knew her stuff, and turned out to be a surprisingly good teacher. She offered encouragement when Meredith knew the answers and understanding when Meredith did not. She would sometimes give Meredith some of the information on specific conditions and then push her to make the connections herself.

Regardless of Meredith's intentions regarding her specialty, rounding with Hahn was definitely beneficial. She just wished her best friend could be there to experience it too.

As if perfectly timed, Hahn received an emergency page to the ER the moment they had exited the last patient's room. "We're on," she told Meredith as she read the small text scrolling across her pager, and then she took off for the stairs without wasting any time.

Meredith hurried after her and managed to catch up once they reached the ER floor.

"Who paged?" Hahn demanded as they pushed through the ER doors. Meredith grabbed two pairs of gloves from the closest trauma cart and passed one pair to her attending.

An ER nurse immediately directed them to a trauma room. "Dr. Yang."

Hahn pushed through the trauma room door. "What have we got, Dr. Yang?"

"Teresa Brotherton. Fell down the stairs while carrying her baby. She brought the baby in and then collapsed. She lost vitals and coded. I needled a tension pneumo on the right side and she regained vitals."

Meredith stepped up beside the Cristina, alongside the gurney, in time to see Hahn take over the ultrasound of the patient's chest on the other side of the gurney. The patient was unconscious and intubated. Her vitals showed on the screen by the bed and they weren't good. Cristina was in the process of securing a chest tube.

Hahn huffed when she couldn't get a clear picture. "There's so much air in the soft tissue that it's obscuring the ultrasound. She probably punctured an airway as well as her lung. Feel that?"

Being closest, Cristina reached to feel the rib fracture causing the patient's problems, and Meredith reached to feel as well. It was a situation they were used to. Traumas were fast paced and tightly packed. To learn you had to just jump in.

Hahn, however, had a different opinion. "I was talking to Grey," she snapped at Cristina, not allowing the very eager resident to learn a thing. "We've got it from here, Dr. Yang," she said flatly.

Cristina backed away in shock and disappointment.

Meredith sent her best friend a sympathetic glance. This was Cristina's patient. With any other attending it wouldn't matter who was actually assigned to their service, but Hahn was clearly not interested in allowing Cristina any more time with the patient.

Obviously frustrated, Cristina slowly made her way to the door, hoping Hahn would change her mind. Meredith reluctantly took her spot and reached to feel the rib fracture Hahn was focussed on. It was high on the rib cage, which wasn't good for the patient.

"Call CT," Hahn instructed one of the ER nurses, "Tell them we have an emergent patient and we're on our way." She didn't acknowledge Cristina in any way as she silently left the small room. She turned back to Meredith. "Do you feel that?"

Meredith nodded. "Multiple rib fractures. They're right by her airway."

Hahn nodded. "It's bad. We're going to hurry to CT, and from there I think it'll be straight to the OR."

Hours later, Meredith collapsed onto a cafeteria seat, joining Izzy, Alex and George. "I'm exhausted and it's only lunch time..." She complained. After their date night the night before, she and Derek hadn't exactly gotten a lot of sleep. And she didn't think it would be a big deal because she had expected to trail Sloan as he performed his face lifts. Cardio was much more demanding than plastics. Her patient's surgery had been tense and quick paced. The patient had coded several times and they had been forced to close without fixing everything when she became too unstable to operate.

"I'll trade with you," Izzy offered, "Seeing as you were supposed to be with Sloan today, but I got stuck with him instead..."

Meredith rolled her eyes. "I had nothing to do with it."

"Still. One of Sloan's patients is so annoying. She's in for a face lift and keeps telling me I'm getting wrinkles." Izzy made a face as she ran her fingers gently across her cheeks. "She's giving me a complex."

"You don't have wrinkles," Alex offered.

"Are you sure? She said my frown line was prominent." Izzy tilted her head for a better view. Both Alex and George stopped eating and stared intensely at the skin beside her mouth, searching for signs of wrinkles.

Meredith laughed at the interaction.

"I don't see anything," George said.

"I may see where your patient is coming from," Alex said.

"Alex!" Izzy hissed, her hands immediately covering her face from his view.

"He's joking," Meredith comforted.

"Are you sure?"

Meredith glared at Alex, who sighed. "I'm joking," he agreed.

Izzy slowly removed her hands from her face. "See? I'm getting a complex. I hate plastics."

"I'll trade you," Alex offered. "You can have my crap guy."

"I so don't like the sound of that. Crap guy? Seriously? I'll take my chances with Sloan's face lift."

"He's not that bad. He just won't crap and won't stop talking about it. I've had enough of listening to it."

"At least you're working with real patients," George spoke up. "I'm stuck in the clinic. The most interesting case I've had all day was a kid who swallowed a marble. I'll trade any of you."

"I only want to trade with Meredith," Izzy said.

"I'm not trading."

"How're you liking Hahn? She's good, huh?"

Meredith nodded. She was good. She had been on top of everything in the surgery. Each code was anticipated and dealt with efficiently. And even with the instability in the patient, she hadn't just had Meredith watch. She'd had Meredith assist.

"She is good. Really good. More reactive than Burke, but just as good."

"Did she let you do a lot? She let me do a lot."

Again, Meredith nodded. "She was a really good teacher. It's just..." She sighed. "Our patient was Cristina's patient in the ER and the moment we got there, she just sent Cristina away."

"Take advantage of the solo time," Alex said. "It's not like Yang would have let you do anything."

"But cardio is her life."

"Yang'll get over it," he responded, obviously unsympathetic.

"Alex," Meredith said gently. "Give her some slack. After Burke left...this is all she has left. Try to understand that."

Alex scoffed. "Burke left three months ago. She doesn't deserve special treatment anymore."

"But-"

"You know she wouldn't do it for us," he cut her off before she could say anything.

He had a point. Cristina was her person, but Cristina also took advantage of weakness in others. Meredith felt bad, but knew if the situation was reversed, her person wouldn't be sacrificing her own learning for Meredith.

"Three months isn't that long," Izzie pointed out. "She still needs us to be there for her," she said, directing her words at Alex before turning to Meredith, "But Alex also has a point. She wouldn't hesitate if she was in your situation."

Meredith ran her hand through her hair, a habit she had unconsciously picked up from her husband. She just wanted things to be back to normal, not that things were every normal. She just wanted her friends to be as happy as she was. "You're right."

"I'm Izzie; of course I'm right," Izzie quipped.

Meredith laughed.

After she finished lunch, Meredith headed back to the Cardio unit to check on her patient from that morning. She had left her interns to monitor her, but wanted to check for herself. Three months into their internship, her interns were much more independent and trustworthy than they had been only weeks earlier, but they were still interns.

She hurried through the halls and rounded the last corner before the elevator at the same time Derek did from the other direction.

"Umpf," she exhaled as she collided with her husband.

Derek's hands reached to her hips to steady her, and then remained where they were. He smirked. "Fancy bumping into you..."

She giggled. "I'm starting to think you do this on purpose."

"It does seem to happen a lot, doesn't it?"

She nodded.

He chuckled and then dipped his head to brush his lips against hers. "I'm not doing it on purpose, but I may have to start. It's a good excuse to press up against you," he whispered.

She laughed. "You're horrible."

He pecked her lips and then released her. "Have you already had lunch?"

She nodded. "I had to be quick so I could get back to my patient. You have her baby, right? Is the baby okay?" The patient and her husband had adopted the baby the previous week, and hadn't even had a chance to name her yet.

He nodded. "She has a slight contusion, but she should be fine. I'll keep her overnight to be monitored, but I don't expect any issues."

"That's good."

"How's the mom?"

She shook her head. "Not good. Hahn had to close early because she was too unstable. She's probably going to lose the lung. We're going to see how she does in the morning."

Derek sighed. "I hope she makes it."

"Me too."

"How are you holding up after last night?"

Meredith mocked glared at her husband. "I'm exhausted, thanks to you."

He raised an eyebrow. "And I was going to blame my exhaustion on you."

"Nope. Totally your fault. You initiated round two."

"You initiated round three," he countered.

"Yes, but if you hadn't initiated round two in the first place..."

He laughed. "We'll get more sleep tonight."

She sighed. "I may have to stay tonight to monitor my patient."

Derek offered her a sympathetic look. "Okay, then we'll get more sleep tomorrow night."

She smiled. "I may be able to come home tonight. I'll let you know when I know."

"Okay." He returned her smile. "How is it going with Hahn?"

Meredith shrugged. "It's going well. She's really good."

He nodded. "I've heard that."

"I just wish she'd be nicer to Cristina. It's like she goes out of her way to be mean to Cristina and then super nice to everyone else to prove a point."

"What did Cristina do to piss her off?"

"Cristina said Hahn accused her of using Burke to get ahead. But there's got to be more to it than that because she knows I'm married to you, but she doesn't hate me."

"Maybe it's more about Burke than Cristina. Burke and Hahn pretty much hated each other from med school on."

Meredith sighed. "I just wish things would be easier for Cristina. She doesn't deserve this."

Derek ducked his head to kiss her again. "You're there for her. That's the most you can do."

She offered him a soft smile. "Thanks."

He cocked his head and his eyes narrowed as he examined her expression, concern evident in his.

Her smile grew. "I'm okay, Derek. I promise."

He kissed her once more. "Good. Because if you're okay, I'm okay."

"Corny," she teased.

Derek shrugged. "What can I say? You bring it out in me."

After a brief internal debated, she decided not to tease him again for being corny. "How's your day going?"

"Okay. Pretty quiet. The baby was my only consult today. And I did a biopsy this morning that was uneventful." He paused. "Lexie is working with me today."

Meredith raised an eyebrow. "Lexie? You're on a first name basis?"

He shook his head. "I'm keeping my distance, upon your request," he assured. "I just don't know what else to call her to you."

"What do you mean?"

"I can't call her Grey, because to me that will always be you."

She smirked and poked him in the chest. "That's Grey-Shepherd to you."

He chuckled and captured her hand in his. "You know what I mean."

"How has it been...to work with her?"

"She's good. I think she'll do well in the program."

"Has she asked you about me anymore?"

His hesitation said it all.

"Derek," she prompted.

"I'm not answering her, but I can't stop her from asking questions," he said quietly.

"What does she want to know?"

"Just things about you. I think she's trying to get on your good side."

Meredith sighed.

Derek wrapped his warm fingers around her forearm and offered a supportive squeeze. "I know it's tough. But things could be different."

"Derek..." She warned.

He squeezed her arm again. "I will support you no matter what. You know that. I'm just giving you my opinion. She means well."

"I know. That's the problem."

He kissed her one last time. "I'm on your side. I love you no matter what."

"I know," she said honestly. "I love you too."

He cocked his head. "Do you want a hug?"

She smiled at his gentle question and nodded. "Yeah."

He pulled her into his arms and she allowed herself to snuggle against him in the quiet hallway for a long moment. He was warm and solid and familiar. She inhaled and then on her exhale felt a ton of stress lift off her shoulders. He always had that effect on her. She always felt safe and loved in his arms.

"I'll let you go save your patient from your interns," Derek joked when he released her.

She laughed. "Okay."

"Let me know if you're coming home tonight."

"I will. And Derek?"

"Mmm?"

She smiled. "Thank you."

She smiled back. "Any time."

Unfortunately for Meredith, she did have to spend the night in the hospital. She had her interns monitoring the patient, but with the patient's instability, she just didn't feel confident enough in her intern's skills to leave them alone. Instead, she crashed in the on call room and had them bring her hourly updates until five in the morning when she sent them for some rest and planted herself in the patient's room to do her own exam.

The patient was intubated and unresponsive as Meredith made note of her vitals. She was stronger than expected, especially as there had been no guarantee she would make it through the night. Her husband was asleep in the corner, and Meredith was careful not to wake him. He obviously loved his wife very much and needed as much sleep as he could get. Regardless of the outcome, he would need to stay healthy.

She was listening the patient's heartbeat when Lexie walked in behind her, but with her stethoscope in her ears, she didn't hear the footsteps. It wasn't until she turned away from the patient and came face to face with her half-sister than she realized she was no longer alone with the patient and the patient's husband.

"Oh...uh...hi," Lexie stammered. They hadn't spoken since Meredith had caught her leaving the house the previous morning.

Meredith made some notes on the patient's chart instead of responding.

"I just came by to update him on the baby," Lexie stammered, gesturing with her hands towards the still sleeping husband. She hesitated. "But I can come back...if that's better...for you..."

Meredith was prepared to let her go, still having no idea what to say to the younger girl, but Lexie changed her mind half way to the door and turned around.

"Listen; I had no idea it was your house. Really. I'm sorry. Alex never said anything. Which isn't an excuse, but I just...I'm sorry." She gestured with her hands again, trying to make her point. Meredith wondered vaguely if that was something they had both inherited from their shared paternal lineage. "And I want you to know that I'm not the girl who sleeps around. I'm not. Really. There's just so much going on at home and-" Lexie's ramble skidded to a halt when the patient's husband spoke up.

"How is she doing?"

Meredith shoved her personal feelings aside and offered him an encouraging smile. "She made it through the night. That's a very good sign."

"Yeah," he practically whispered as he stood and approached the hospital bed. "Well, she's strong. She'll make it." He reached out to stroke his wife's forehead. "She's not going to let that baby grow up without a mother."

The patient stirred and her eyes opened.

"Hey," he said softly. "You're okay. You're going to be okay."

The patient moaned through the intubation tube.

"No, don't try to talk. You just rest. Okay?"

Her eyes flickered away from her husband and fell on Meredith and Lexie.

"Your baby is fine," Lexie said quickly, knowing instinctively what the patient needed to know. As much as Meredith hated to admit it, she knew Derek was right. Lexie would do well in this job. "She's feeding well. She's doing great. I can get her, if you want."

The patient nodded weakly.

Meredith smiled softly. "Dr. Grey, why don't you go get the baby?"

Lexie nodded and turned to leave.

"You're Dr. Grey, too?" The patient's husband asked. "Are you two sisters?"

Meredith froze, struggling for the right answer. She had barely worked with Lexie since she started, and had never faced this kind of question from a patient or patient's family member. "Uh..." She stammered slightly, but Lexie, having paused behind Meredith in the doorway, answered for her.

"No. Not sisters," the younger Grey said quietly. "Just have the same last name."

Despite the fact that Meredith couldn't see Lexie face as she answered, she could hear the disappointment in her tone.

Meredith was surprised to feel a twinge of disappointment in her chest, and had to silently remind herself that she didn't want a sister.

By that afternoon, Meredith was exhausted. Her patient's condition had gotten worse as the day progressed and although they were doing absolutely everything they could, there was very little hope. The patient had crashed numerous times and was so unstable that Hahn had decided to put her on cardio-pulmonary bypass in her room in order to transport her safely to the OR. She wouldn't survive another day without surgery.

The patient's husband had become more desperate as his wife's condition worsened. He was refusing to take responsibility for the baby without his wife, and he hadn't wanted to make any decisions or take any interest in updates on the baby girl's condition.

To make matters worse, Cristina was hovering in the background, obviously wanting more than anything to be part of the surgical team, leaving Meredith feeling more guilty than the day before in the trauma room. And, on top of everything else, Meredith had only seen her husband for thirty seconds that morning when he was on his way to surgery.

"Dr. Grey-Shepherd, I want you monitoring her lines to make sure they stay clear. The last thing we need is a kink to send her into arrest," Hahn instructed.

Meredith nodded. She had already checked the lines several times.

Hahn took a breath in preparation for transporting the patient to the OR while hooked up to the bypass machine. "Okay, people, anyone gets so much as a bad feeling, we stop and reassess. Everyone understand?"

Meredith nodded, her focus on the patient.

"She's going to make it, right?" Lexie asked over Meredith's shoulder. She had been hovering for hours, reacting to the husband's lack of interest in the baby. "She has to make it."

Meredith tried to ignore Lexie's anxious words, but the younger Grey continued.

"He said he's going to give the baby up if she doesn't make it. She has to make it."

"I'm kind of busy right now, Lex," Meredith hissed. It was several seconds later that she realized she had not only called her half-sister by first name, but had shortened the name as if it were something she would normally call the younger Grey. Despite her best efforts, she was inadvertently dropping her walls. She couldn't look at Lexie Grey and only see an intern, no matter how hard she tried. And she couldn't hate her.

"Okay, people, let's go," Hahn instructed, pulling Meredith from her thoughts.

Intent on focusing on the patient, Meredith refused to look in Lexie's direction as she followed the patient out of the room. She would have to save lives first and stress over her personal situation later.

Two hours later, Meredith stepped out of the OR and headed for the surgical waiting room to update the patient's husband. Unsurprisingly, Lexie was camped out in the waiting room with the patient's husband. They both looked up expectantly when Meredith entered the room and began walking towards them.

Meredith took a breath and pasted what she hoped was a comforting expression on her face as she came to a stop, her focus on the patient's husband and not the half-sister watching her intently.

She sat across from them and began. "So, we were able to find one puncture in her remaining lung. Dr. Hahn is preparing to place a patch. Hopefully that's the only leak and hopefully the patch will hold."

He nodded before putting his coffee down and running his hands over his face, his love for his wife and devastation for his situation written plainly on his face. Meredith offered him an encouraging smile. In the back of her mind, she knew his wife's chances were not very good, but she hoped the new mother would make it. From what Lexie had told her, the man was planning on giving up the baby if his wife didn't make it. Having worked in medicine for more than fifteen months, she was less affected by the husband's words than Lexie, who was only in her fourth month. Family members dealing with unthinkable losses said things like this all the time, and made very extreme decision. It was because they couldn't imagine their life without the person they were faced with losing. If the worst happened, and his wife died, she hoped the man wouldn't actually give up the baby. It was a decision he would regret eventually, and not one he could likely correct at that time.

"I should get back," she said softly, after the husband didn't ask any questions. She stood and turned to leave, but then turned back, wanting to help. Right now, the man had no hope, and Lexie didn't have the skills or experience yet to offer it to him. "You said your wife bonded immediately with the baby. For some people, it's like that. For other people, they need more time with the baby before they can feel like a family. I bet you know her better than you think you do."

He sighed. "All I know is that she cries. And she eats. A lot. We were going through formula like crazy. And she sleeps with her hand under her chin," he added, the anxiety on his face momentarily displaced by a tender smile of his own as he thought of his new daughter. "And she likes my wife. Teresa knows how to soothe her; she puts her hand on her back, and she lets her suck on her finger." His eyes watered and the happiness began to fall away from his expression as the desperation returned. "But that's all I know."

Meredith offered a supportive smile. "That's five things no one else knows," she pointed out. "That's five things." With a nod, she left the husband to his thoughts as she hurried to return to his wife in the OR.

Unfortunately, an hour later, Meredith's patient succumbed to her injuries. The damage had just been too severe, despite Hahn's dedication to doing absolutely everything she could to fix it. The cardiothoracic surgeon had sworn angrily after calling time of death and had stormed into the scrub room to scrub out. Meredith had silently followed suit and after scrubbing out, the two of them had broken the devastating news. The patient's husband had said nothing as he reacted to the news and then left the waiting room.

"Well, that's that," Hahn muttered before she strode away.

Meredith hesitated before following. Lexie was sitting cross legged on the waiting room chair next to the chair the husband had been sitting in. Her expression was dark.

"We did everything we could," she said quietly, repeating the words Hahn had spoken to the husband.

Lexie looked up. "He's going to give the baby away."

"Maybe; you don't know that for sure."

"That's what he said."

"You did everything you could to help this family, Lexie," Meredith said, again using the younger Grey's first name without thinking. "Some things are just out of our hands. It's the hardest lesson to learn."

Lexie looked her in the eye. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"I always thought it took a lot more than this to make a father give up his child."

Meredith shook her head, but Lexie continued anyway.

"The moment I found out you existed I convinced myself that there was some extreme reason he did what he did," she said, speaking of Thatcher. "And now..." She trailed off, her eyes filling with tears. "I'm really sorry," she said again.

Meredith took a step back, still shaking her head. The lump in her throat told her she couldn't remain in this conversation or she would react like Lexie. And the last thing she wanted to do was give the younger Grey hope before she was sure she wanted a relationship of any kind. Lexie was very nice, and had proven determined to get into Meredith's good books, but Meredith still had doubts. The thought of letting her in and being vulnerable again was terrifying. "I have patients to check on," she muttered, leaving Lexie on the waiting room chair as she raced to catch up with Hahn.

Hahn was in a bad mood as they rounded on the patients in the cardio unit, but Meredith appreciated the mood. It meant Hahn was feeling the loss of her patient.

Meredith was feeling the loss, too.

Once they finished rounding, Hahn directed them to the Nurses' Station, where she passed three charts to Meredith and the rest back to the nurse. "Can you update the notes in these charts before you go home?"

Meredith nodded.

Hahn sighed. "I really thought she had a chance."

"Me too."

Hahn shook her head before sighing again. "I need a drink." She left Meredith at the desk, but turned back. "You did good work these past few days, Dr. Grey-Shepherd."

Meredith offered her attending a small smile. "Thank you, Dr. Hahn."

"Hopefully, we'll have a better day tomorrow," Hahn said, turning her back on Meredith and leaving the unit.

Meredith sighed as she turned to the charts. They were all that was keeping her from going home and curling up in bed with her husband. She opened the first one and began updating the notes. Thirty minutes later, she was just finishing up with the last chart when she felt a presence beside her.

She turned her head to meet Lexie's uncertain gaze.

"Hi," Lexie said quietly.

Meredith nodded, saying nothing. She was still struggling with her thoughts and didn't want to give Lexie any hope before she had figured things out.

Lexie took a step forward so that she was leaning onto the counter beside Meredith. "He came back for the baby. He named her and everything. I think they're going to be okay. I...just thought you should know."

Meredith allowed herself a small smile, glad something good had come of the day. "Thank you...for letting me know." She turned her attention back to the chart, but Lexie didn't leave.

After several moments of silence, Lexie blurted a seemingly random sentence. "I hate apples."

Meredith looked up in surprise, not understanding where the information could possibly be coming from.

"I hate them," Lexie repeated. "I think they shouldn't be allowed to be a fruit."

Meredith opened her mouth to reply, but still couldn't make sense of what Lexie was saying, and so couldn't come up with a thing to say in response.

"That's one," Lexie continued.

A wave of understanding washed over Meredith, but as much as she wanted to come up with an excuse to leave, part of her wanted to know more about her half-sister.

"Two; I can draw really well on an Etch-A-Sketch. Like, really well. Like, I could be a professional if, you know, that profession existed."

Meredith stifled the urge to smile at the younger Grey's slight ramble.

"I play the trombone," Lexie continued, before adding, "Badly."

Still unable to find any words at all, Meredith looked away for a moment, trying not to care, trying to remind herself that Lexie Grey was not her sister. There was no reason she needed to know any of this.

"I like math," Lexie said, continuing unhindered. "And I noticed that you do this thing with your hands." She raised her hand and waved it around to make a point. "Like this," she said, motioning to her hand as she forced Meredith to look at her again, "When you're trying to make a point. And I know that that's something about you, but I...I do it too, so it's also about me." She paused, looking away as if suddenly shy.

Meredith swallowed hard. She had noticed their similarity on the hand thing as well.

"And so that's five." Lexie looked back up now, looking Meredith in the eyes. "That's five things that I'm hoping will make it a little bit harder for you to hate me." Lexie immediately turned to walk away, leaving Meredith floundering for something to say in response.

"Lexie," she called out, half-hoping the younger Grey was too far away to hear. Unfortunately, the footsteps stopped. She was listening. "I..." She trailed off, unable to so much as turn around to face her half-sister. "I don't hate you," she said quietly. "I've never hated you. I just..." She sighed. "I don't hate you."

After a long moment, Lexie obviously realized Meredith wasn't going to say anything more. Her feet shuffled across the floor once again as she left the area.

Meredith sighed and buried her face in her hands, knowing she was screwed. Despite her best efforts, Lexie was becoming a person she cared about. Not only could she not hate her, but she couldn't not care. "Damn it," She muttered to herself. The decision had been made for her. She had a freaking sister.

Derek was in bed reading when Meredith pushed the bedroom door open later that evening. He looked up and offered her a tender smile. "I heard about your patient. I'm sorry."

She smiled back as she shut the door and then padded towards the bed. "Thank you," she said as she curled up against him under the covers without bothering to get changed.

He put down his magazine and wrapped his arms around her, saying nothing.

"Her husband came back for the baby," she offered, knowing he would care to know.

"That's good."

"Mmm-hmm," she murmured into his chest. He was warm against her, and his arms made her feel instantly comfortable and safe.

Derek rubbed her back, offering whatever comfort he could.

"I think I have a sister," she whispered.

His hand paused on her back.

Meredith lifted her head to meet his eyes. "I...I think I've given up trying to stay away from her. She's annoyingly determined."

Derek brushed his lips against hers and then smiled softly. "I remember what it's like to want to know you, but to have you push me away," he said, referring back to the weeks she had spent saying no to his advances when they had first met. He kissed her again. "I had to be determined."

Meredith giggled, grateful her husband knew her enough to offer some humour. "That's right," she retorted, "You were annoyingly stalkerish as well."

He scoffed. "I was not a stalker."

"You were everywhere, all the time."

Derek rolled his eyes in good humour. "And now Lexie's everywhere, all the time?"

She sighed. "She was really upset about the patient's husband maybe leaving the baby. And I pointed out to the husband that he knew things about the baby. Five things that no one else knew. So, after everything, Lexie hunted me down and told me five things about herself, and now I..." She trailed off and shook her head. "I can't freaking not care. Why can't I just not care?"

Derek smiled softly at her and ran his fingers through her hair. "Because you're you," he said softly. "You care, all the time, about everyone, even if you try and hide it."

Meredith felt her eyes sting at how well he knew her. "I don't know what to do," she admitted.

He pulled her to him so that she was laying with her head on his chest. "I'd say you have a decision to make, but I think you've already made it, so I'm going to say this instead. I can't guarantee she won't hurt you, but I can guarantee that I will be here no matter what. If you want to build a relationship with her, as a sister or a friend, I will be right here the whole time."

"I think you're right," she admitted, "That I've already made a decision. Maybe I just don't want to admit it."

"It's a big step," she acknowledged. "It's allowed to be scary."

She snaked her arms around him and pulled herself even closer. "What do I do next?" After spending almost three and a half months avoiding the younger Grey, she didn't know how to stop.

"Tell her five things about you," he suggested, "And take it from there. Nothing has to change overnight."

"Okay. I can do that." She smiled against his chest, knowing the only reason she could do any of this was the knowledge of Derek's support.

He rubbed his hand along her back again. "Do you want something to eat before you sleep? Or do you want to at least get changed?"

She closed her eyes. "I just want to lay here for a few more minutes."

AN: I couldn't resist using the same line than ended the episode to end this chapter. :-) I also wanted to take a moment to talk about Here We Are. I promise not to leave it unfinished. I would never do that. I was actually starting to put ideas together again in January before my stepdad got sick. Unfortunately, when my old computer died last year, I lost my 'notes' document with the brief outline I had made. I remember some of the ideas, but not all. I'm now in the process of reading WIHF and SH from the beginning so I can start fresh where I left off in HWA. It will take some time, but I'm not sure how long. I really want to thank everyone who is reading HWA and has been waiting so long for an update for your patience. I'm hoping to have more time this summer to be writing.