69. Chapter 69

Heavy footsteps echoed towards her down the basement hallway, and Meredith didn't have to look up to know who they belonged to. With a small inward sigh she blinked hard and tried to focus on the chart in her lap, delaying the point where she had to acknowledge her boyfriend's presence for as long as possible.

They were in a committed relationship; she knew that. He loved her; she knew that too. He had wanted to marry her as short a time as two weeks ago. But as much as she wanted to believe he still wanted her as much now as he had such a short time ago, she just wasn't sure. Maybe that had been her only chance at a future with the man she loved, and she had blown it by over thinking.

It was funny how things happened. In trying to swear off men she had met Derek. In trying to be independent she had found herself a family. In trying to make her mother proud she had found her calling. But now, in trying to stumble towards the future the 'right' way, she may have lost everything that mattered.

She had been stupid and careless. The patient had been close to the edge of the pier, and yet she hadn't slowed down enough to see how much danger she was putting herself in; hadn't stopped to realize that her actions no longer affected her life only. And while she fought successfully back to the land of the living, she hadn't done anything noteworthy in the past three weeks; other than turn down the love of her life, of course. As bad an idea as she knew having gotten married on a whim only a week after her accident would have been, Meredith couldn't help but wonder what it would be like now, to have been married for almost two weeks to the love of her life.

Maybe they would be happy. Maybe it would have stopped her from messing with his life.

He needed someone who could be there for him as much as he was there for her. He needed someone who didn't have long lost abandoning parents who showed up now and then and demanded awkward dinners. He deserved someone who wasn't prone to potentially life ending events. He deserved someone who knew how to swim, and how to say yes.

She had wanted so badly to say yes.

She still did.

Only now, she wondered if she would get the chance.

No one was perfect, she knew, but she was so far from it that people changed their minds about her. And if her parents, the people who were supposed to love her unconditionally for her whole life had known when she was just five years old that she wasn't worth their time, then how was she supposed to expect a man to love her forever?

The footsteps slowed as Derek crossed in front of her. There was a pause before the thin mattress of the gurney she was sitting on dipped beside her.

With a sigh, Meredith pasted a smile on her face and turned towards him. "Hey-" The look on his face cut her off before she could say any more.

Derek's eyes were deeper than she could remember seeing, his beautiful irises filled with concern and...love. Deep lines were etched along his forehead, adding to his look of concern. And the way his head cocked ever so slightly to the side made her heart clench. "Hey," he practically breathed in response, gently prying her chart from her fingers before turning his upper body towards her and wrapping her in his arms.

Meredith felt a breath of relief leave her lips as Derek's chin landed on her shoulder and his lips and nose pressed up against the side of her head. He wasn't going to make her talk yet. Leaning into his chest, she clutched at his strong arms and took all the comfort she could get from him.

After a long moment, he made a humming sound and kissed her behind her ear. "I love you," he then whispered. "And I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

Surprised at his words, Meredith turned in his embrace, her eyes searching out his. He had an uncanny ability to read her mind, but even he wasn't this good. And the only person she had voiced her thoughts to was- "I'm going to kill Cristina."

Some of the concern in his eyes was replaced with humour as his lips curled into a grin. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Meredith rolled her eyes. "You're a horrible liar."

"Fine," he admitted. "Cristina may have said something."

She sighed, running a hand over her face. "Derek, just...forget whatever she said to you-"

His finger came down on her lips, silencing her. "I love you, Meredith, and I want to marry you and spend the rest of my life with you. That hasn't changed." He paused. "That won't ever change."

His eyes were filled with so much love and integrity, and his breath was warm against her face, and his arm was still wrapped so snugly around her waist, which was why Meredith couldn't help the relieved tears that welled in her eyes. "Derek..."

The hand against her lips move across her cheek to cup her face. "I won't ever change my mind about you," he reiterated. "You're it for me."

Meredith closed her eyes and wrapped her fingers around his wrist, pressing the warmth of his palm into her cheek.

Derek leaned forward, pressing his forehead against hers. "You can ask me anything, Mer, without ever being afraid of the answer, okay?"

She nodded as she took what felt like her first deep breath in days. "Okay."

"Okay," he echoed, pulling away far enough to peck her lips. "Now, according to Cristina, I screwed up last night."

"You didn't-"

He cut her off. "I never meant to make you think I wasn't going to propose. It's been on my mind every single day. But I thought it wouldn't be a bad idea to give you some time this month. Last night I...I was trying to start getting things back to normal. I want everything to be perfect when I do propose."

"You've been thinking about it?"

He smiled. "Every day. I'm not sure how I'm going to do it yet, but I'm definitely going to be doing it."

She placed her hand against his chest, her fingers toying with the thin fabric of scrub shirt. "I don't need a proposal, Derek. It's the marriage I want. And about before-"

"I get it," he said quickly. "I was irrational. And we would have regretted getting married in Vegas."

She shook her head. "We would have regretted the way we did it, not that we did it. And I need you to know that I wanted to say yes."

"I know."

"Really?"

He nodded. "It was the right decision. I'm glad you could be the strong one that day."

Her heart tugged. He really did understand. And he really did still want to marry her. "Eloping to Vegas on a whim may be a little tacky, but it doesn't mean I need anything fancy," she told him. "The idea of a big wedding is...a little overwhelming. And eloping actually sounds good. So, seriously, Derek, I don't need a proposal."

His eyes narrowed ever so slightly as he contemplated her words for several seconds. "So, what you're saying is you'd be perfectly happy if we just agreed right here and now that we're engaged?"

Suddenly her heart was pounding in her chest. Her throat was dry. And she was pretty sure she was losing feeling in her fingers and toes. "I..." Was he serious? Was this it? "I think I'd be okay with that," she managed to squeak out.

He kissed her quickly, before pulling away and smirking. "I'm not letting you off that easy."

She blinked. What? He was still smirking at her. What had just happened? Her heart was still thudding. The blood rushing by her ears sounded like it was roaring. What was going on? She sucked in a breath and remembered to say her questions out loud. "What?"

Derek smiled and kissed her again. "You're getting a proposal. We're not getting engaged wearing dirty scrubs in the basement."

Her heart stopped thudding so painfully against her ribs. Her hand reached out on its own volition and smack him. "You're an ass."

He laughed. "I already have tons of plans underway. I just can't decide on fireworks or a plane pulling a banner behind it for the actual question."

Now he was mocking her.

"Or!" He said excitedly. "We could go to a game and I could get them to write it on the jumbo-tron."

She pursed her lips. "You know how I promised to say yes when you did ask?"

"Mmm-hmm."

"If you do any of those things I won't be saying yes."

Derek laughed. "I guess I'll have to go for the sky writing..."

"Derek, I swear to god..."

This time he cut her off with his lips, crushing down on hers. And when he finally pulled away, he left her breathless and forgetting what she had been about to say.

"Nothing too big," he promised. "Just enough for us to remember. Something to tell the..."

She cocked her head. "Something to tell the kids about?"

"Something like that; though I think the term is 'something to tell the grandkids about.'"

"But having grandkids means you had to have kids first."

He smiled. "Something to tell the kids and the grandkids about."

"Without being embarrassing," she added.

He made a show of sighing heavily. "Fine, I'll call and cancel the sky writing."

She pecked him on the lips. "Thank-you."

"Now, can I make last night's dinner up to you by taking you to lunch?"

Meredith giggled. "You want to take me out to lunch in the cafeteria?"

He nodded and hopped off the gurney. "I'll buy you the most expensive item on the menu."

She snorted as she stood. "I guess that would mean something if the cafeteria actually had menus..."

"Okay, I'll get you the most expensive thing on the posters above the food."

"Great!" She said brightly. "I'm pretty sure the most expensive thing in the cafeteria is a whole pizza."

Derek grumbled as he took half of her charts in one arm threaded his fingers through her free hand.

Meredith squeezed his hand as he led them towards the elevators, her heart feeling lighter than it had in a week. He really wasn't changing his mind about her. "You really want forever with me?"

He turned his head and smiled at her. "I do."

She wasn't sure if his choice of words was deliberate or not, but the knowledge that she would one day in the not so distant future be hearing those words from him in a much more official situation made her heart melt.

**

Derek rolled his shoulders as he stared at the OR board, ridding his tight muscles of the tension from his last surgery. A trauma had come into the ER, and he had spent hours repairing bleeds. And right now, all he wanted to do was go home. It had been a long day. The previous day had been stressful, he had been up most of the night worrying about Meredith, he was still angry with the Chief, who was acting like nothing was wrong, and Cristina Yang had had to point out that Meredith's behaviour was due to him.

He had fixed things with Meredith. The exhaustion would be cured by getting a good night sleep with Meredith wrapped in his arms. He only wished his Chief of Surgery would act like he was aware of Derek's anger so that Derek could feel a little better about his grudge.

With a sigh, he let his shoulders sag. Most of the tension was gone. Now he just really wanted to go home. But he wasn't about to leave without his girlfriend.

But the big flaw in his plan was the fact that Bailey's name was still written on the OR board. And Meredith was working with her today. He glanced at his watch. They'd be another hour. At least.

He let out a frustrated groan, debating whether to hide away in his office or find himself a consult. Technically he was off, but working with patients meant the time would go faster. However, a consult could lead to surgery, which could lead to never being able to leave.

A throat cleared beside him, pulling him from his thoughts. He glanced to his side, only to groan again. "Great," he said sarcastically, "the second most person I don't want to see right now."

To his surprise, the plastic surgeon grinned.

"Second, huh? We're making progress."

Derek shook his head. "There is no progress. Just...go give someone a nose job or something."

Mark ignored his comment. "Only a few months ago, you were punching me every time you saw me, then you weren't speaking to me, and now there's someone in this hospital you don't want to see more than me. I would call that progress."

"One person, Mark. Only one person. And I only ever hit you once."

"So, who's this one person, and what did he do to piss you off? Sleep with Grey?"

Derek released a frustrated breath. "You know you have absolutely no tact, right?"

Mark furrowed his brow. "Wait; I wasn't right, was I? Because I really thought you two had something..."

"We do have something. And she would never... Why are we talking about this?"

Mark shrugged. "You brought it up."

"I did not."

"You did," Mark said again, "But let's not split hairs. What has this mystery person done to piss off my best friend so much?"

"You're not my best friend."

"More progress."

"What are you talking about?"

"You said I'm not your best friend. That denotes that I've made it back into the friend category."

Derek groaned. "You're reading way too much into things."

Mark's smile didn't falter. "Seriously, man, what's up? Who has pissed you off more than me lately?"

"The Chief."

"Ah, so the board questioned you about Grey?" Mark asked, and then off of Derek's look continued, "People talk around here. I listen. I think Burke was seeing red after his interview. And they questioned him about Yang and his tremor. So, unless you've done something else wrong, he got it worse than you."

"Me being with Meredith isn't wrong."

Mark held up his hands at Derek's tone. "I don't think it's wrong. In fact, I'm happy for you. I just meant in the eyes of the Chief."

"The Chief needs to get over himself."

"Very true. I don't think he even likes me, which is crazy because everyone likes me."

Derek couldn't help but crack a smile. "I don't like you."

"But you like me more than the Chief."

"Today."

"Still, progress." Mark paused. "So, how are you and Grey doing?"

Derek glared at him.

"I just mean since her accident. Is she okay?"

"Why does it matter to you?"

Mark shrugged. "Because you're my best friend, whether you'll accept it or not. And I know she just came back to work, and you barely came in when she was off. And that day was...hard."

"So, what you're asking is...?"

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

"I've seen you pretend to be fine before."

"I'm not pretending."

"Hmm," Mark turned back to the OR board.

Derek huffed. "I'm not. Things haven't exactly been easy, but we're getting through it."

Mark turned back to regard him for several seconds. "You know, I can't remember you ever saying 'we' when you were with Addison. Not like that."

"Addison and I were never like me and Mer."

"I'm happy for you."

Derek surveyed his former best friend for a long moment, surprised to find so little anger left towards the other man; surprised to find the urge to share something that once upon a time he wouldn't have hesitated with. Mark had been his best friend, his brother. And now the only person he was that close to was Meredith. But Mark had been there when Derek needed him. He had sat on the floor with Derek when Meredith was fighting for her life.

"I'm going to ask her to marry me," he said quietly, staring straight ahead at the OR board.

"That's great," Mark responded immediately, clapping Derek on the back. "We should go out and celebrate."

Derek smiled, but shook his head.

"I can be you friend, Derek. You can trust me."

"That's what I thought the first time."

"I made a mistake," Mark responded, with more integrity than Derek could remember hearing come from his mouth. "But she was never good for you. And you know that. You weren't happy. But you're happy now, with Meredith, who you wouldn't have met if I hadn't done what I did."

Derek sighed. It was something he struggled with all the time.

"How can you forgive Addison, but not me?"

He shook his head. "I don't know."

Mark scoffed. "You owe me more than that."

"I don't owe you anything."

"Why don't you hate her too? Why isn't she on your list of people you most don't want to see?"

"Probably because you hurt me more than she did," Derek finally whispered. This was new for him. Meredith had taught him it was okay to be vulnerable, and now he was going to try it with someone else. "Our marriage was a sham at that point. But our friendship," he said pointedly, looking at Mark, "was just fine. You were like my brother."

"I fucked up," Mark agreed. "But I thought I loved her. I...I still think I love her. But you're still a brother to me. And you can trust me. It won't happen again. I won't go anywhere near Meredith."

Derek nodded. "I need time to decide if I'm going to believe that."

AN: So, last year, when I was mapping out this part of the story, the plan was for Addison to not move to LA, and to give her and Mark a chance. Now I'm not so sure. I'm enjoying the Mark-Derek friendship without Addison's influence. But if I do have Addison leave, the question is what to do with Mark. I'm undecided about him and Lexie. And I wouldn't put him with Callie for good because I LOVE seeing Mark have a female best friend. Opinions? Ideas? Please!