2.21

"Hannah," Alex's booming voice woke me with fright, making me almost fall off the bed tangled in the sheets. Sturdy hands reached over and gently pulled me back just as the door burst open, both Alex and Will stumbling in. Had Will been trying to stop him?

Then I recalled that I was not the only one in the bed, very self-aware of the hand still resting on my stomach. All three pairs of eyes were watching my every move as I found myself finding it hard to breathe let alone speak.

When I finally found the strength to open my mouth, instead of words I wretched bile all over the bedding. Fuck I was so over this being sick thing. Where was System to fix me?

After a much-needed shower, I was guided by Will's rough hands to the small round table to face the two men I'd not so long ago slept with. Both were side by side, sipping their hot drinks pretending the other did not exist. Talk about Deja Vu. It was certainly time for me to have a very stern word with myself.

"So…" I found myself still struggling for words, not sure what to say or to who.

"Where were you?" Alex blurted out. One of his feet was tapping under the table with nerves. His exhausted-looking eyes were scanning my body over and over as he waited for the answer to a question that had clearly plagued him the entire time I had been blissfully asleep.

I sighed, sinking my head into my arms on the table as if they'd hide me, grumbling, "you wouldn't believe me if I told you all." And with Will sitting right beside me I didn't even want to attempt a lie. Damn body.

"Just say it," Noah picked up his coffee, which looked even more pitch black than his void-like eyes, sipping slowly waiting patiently for me to do as I was told. I wanted so badly to kick his shin under the table.

"Well, I think the trees protected me when there were too many zombies and put me to sleep," I peeked up, trying to see their reactions.

"But it's been two months," Alex rested his head in his hands, which looked ready to pull his hair out, "I searched the whole field, but there was no sign of you anywhere."

Fuck, he'd risked crossing over the dunes for me. Guilt gnawed away at me as I reached out and touched his arm, ignoring the glances from the other two men.

I wished System was here to help me calm him down, so I could quickly let go of this attachment.

"I was underground, unconscious, covered in roots, I don't know why I slept so long or what happened whilst I was in the soil, but after…" I trailed off, unsure how to word myself.

Afterward, the forest seemed to have been the only thing to benefit from the suicide mission System sent me on. Part of me was worried that maybe System had fucked up. Could they even do that? What I wouldn't give to have Lex or Jianyu with me right now to talk to.

"So what's the situation with this place now?" I tried to change the subject. Remembering Holly had mentioned they'd brought survivors here and there was a council. From the brief glances on my way to the dorm and out the windows the place was growing fast.

"We set up a council, mainly filled with the elderly who have nothing better to do than boss us about," Alex shrugged, then grabbed onto my hands, he was good at this whole pretending the others didn't exist thing. I, on the other hand, felt embarrassed and strange.

Noah and my brother were right there, reminding me of this body's baggage and my purpose here.

I tried my best to ground myself, pulling out of Alex's grip to take tiny sips of the tea, even if my stomach churned at the smell.

"Are we still leaving?" I asked Noah, remembering his plans for Oregon.

"Yes, we'll be leaving soon now we've found you," Noah replied as if he had done all the leg work and I hadn't endured hell to come back on my own. I really, really wanted to kick him.

"You're leaving?" Alex called out, almost knocking his cup off the table. The look he gave me made my stomach flip, could I really leave him behind at the risk of never knowing if he lived or died?

"Wanna come with?" I asked, reaching out to touch his hands again. Fuck what was I doing?

Subconsciously, this had been my original plan. To drag Alex and those he trusted with Leo, Holly to go North following Noah's route, hoping to eventually meet them. I had never expected Noah and Will to refuse to budge another mile North without me.

Besides, Alex could still be in danger, I'd never found those who planned the trap that killed Oliver.

"Where?" Alex finally acknowledged Noah, turning to him, his hands still holding mine somewhat possessively.

"Noth, Oregon," Noah answered as if words were a precious resource.

"Why Oregon?" Alex asked.

"Regrouping." Seriously would it kill him to say a few more words?

"With more soldiers?" he asked.

Noah nodded, downgrading to no words at all.

"Okay, let me talk with the boys," Alex turned back to me, finally letting go of my hands. Though this was only to stand and walk around the tables to pull me into a gentle embrace, cautious of my wounds.

Surprisingly, Will made a move to stop him, and Noah raised a hand to stop him.

"I'm so glad you're okay," he murmured into my ear before kissing my forehead softly, "thank you for coming back to me."

Without waiting for me to reply he swiftly left, eyeing Will's clenched fist on his way.

"What was that?" Will almost growled.

Feeling the tea I'd forced down my throat make its way slowly back up I had no time to deal with this overbearing big brother act.

Some of Hannah's anger crept out, filling my head with negative thoughts. Where was he when she was getting the shit kicked out of her by their father?

Ignoring him I made my way to the bathroom to throw up, unfortunately, he stopped me, jerking me painfully to a stop.

"Han, what the fuck is going on with you? Why did he think you were twenty-fucking-two? Why are you treating yourself so shitty like this?" Will was really going all out with this big brother role; however, I couldn't take it anymore.

I tried to cover my mouth to stop it, but it was too late. Vomit spilled out and it wasn't long before I was folded over, spilling the last of my stomach contents onto the floor.