Total Darkness

Neil drooped and was lulled. He who opposes these feelings that arise exploded, but it was Neil himself who asked for the pleasure to be presented in front of him. He was immersed in the deep abyss that Neil had avoided all this time, only accompanied by a sweet word that brought opium. Withdraws himself to defy logic and put forward feelings.

Maybe Neil had been holding it in for so long and he only realized recently. A thumping feeling in his chest and a feeling of pleasure welled up at the sight of him. It was also possible that the taste was already there, but Neil had just given it a name.

Love.

"Riksa,

"Neil, what's wrong?" Sain asked putting his palms on Neil's bent knees.

Neil snapped out of his daydream, he inched more and more pressing his body against the chair. Staring at his fingers on his lap. Neil's lips formed a thin line, he hesitated to tell Sain about what he saw yesterday. Afraid that later Sain will hate him.

"You don't have to hesitate to tell a story."

Neil's eyelashes fluttered open at Sain's eyes who were looking at him intensely, Neil looked down again blushing to play the hem of his black shirt. " Riksa, when you were looking for me yesterday. I was also there in the alley."

Neil was silent waiting for Sain's reaction but Sain didn't say anything so Neil quickly continued. "I saw you killing those men, but I know you're trying to protect me right, Riksa?"

Neil raised his head, watching Sain restlessly. However, Sain was far from Neil's previous thoughts he instead pulled every corner of his lips up into a sincere smile.

"That's right. I did it for you, Neil. Nothing else, "said Sain rubbing the back of his hand Neil soothing.

Neil blinked he nodded with pleasure. He believes Sain more than his life, so all that has Sain say is the truth that does not need to be in question back on

point."I do not see you there at that time. Where are you?"

Neil hesitated in answering, he just left the question hanging. "Riksa, I want to go home."

Sain seemed to understand the sudden change of topic. "You can stay here. No one will ever harm you, Neil."

Neil shook his head disapprovingly, although in his heart he wanted to always be near Sain within sight of him. Still, he couldn't. Neil was afraid that if this abnormal feeling grew, it would only make Neil so complacent that it can't be cured at all. This is 'sick'.

"No, Riksa. Skylar and dad who are here will be suspicious of this oddity," he coaxed Sain softly. Sain scowled in disapproval, but he didn't go against Neil's wishes.

"They wouldn't be suspicious if it involved me," said Sain lightly but still wanted to try.

Neil frowned, causing Sain's hand to rise to outline the lines.

"Why is it like that?" Neil asked, pushing Sain's hand away from the rest of his face.

"We're neighbors."

Neil restrained himself from rolling his eyes with an excuse that didn't make sense. sense of Sain.

"I'm from the beginning never realize that we are neighbors."

Jari Sain lifted and wiped his eye,s Neil, brings shakes in his body.

"My eyes are always watching, but these eyes staring at me like a ghost who does not look."

"I'm home, Interrogation, he said goodbye and stood up away from Sain's hand. However, Sain held himself back and instead pulled Neil to sit on his lap.

Sain brought his lips close to Neil's ear and whispered to make the whole thing happen. his body shuddered with a burning desire. "You're not leaving, without taking a part of me."

Neil had felt lost. Enter into the deepest and darkest abyss.

***

Neil stared blankly at his cell phone screen that lit up in the darkness of his room. He refused to move to press the call and answer it. Neil blinked with guilt entrenched in Neil's chest, even though Neil only vaguely remembered the smallest part of his conversation when he called his father, Neil still wouldn't change his mind.

The voice of the call calmed down again with a sigh of relief from lips Neil's. He knew his father would never give up on constantly wooing him to make Neil go back on his word. However, it seems that it was just a waste.

His cell phone rang again, screaming in a voice that filled the silent room.

Neil moved slowly his slender hand finally grabbed the phone and put it to his ear.

"Neil?" Raihan's deep voice scratched Neil's chest in such a way. He closed his eyes tightly and snuggled closer to his bed and pressed his palm to his mouth.

"Neil, had the heart to leave Dad alone?" There was no need for small talk for his father to bring the conversation back. The sentence was low, but capable of making Neil waver with his own decisions.

Neil bit his lip so tightly he could feel his blood swirling in his mouth. He chose silence, listening and remembering his father's soft voice that Neil might not be able to hear again.

Pause for a while, bringing an uneasy feeling over to Neil. "Neil, don't give up. Dad always accepts Neil no matter what."

Neil was sure about it, but he was an understanding kid and knew his father was disappointed in him. About the deviant behavior in nature, and how people look at Neil and low Raihan later. Honestly, Neil wouldn't face that. He is weak.

"So go home. Daddy will keep waiting and try to bring Neil home." There was a deep breath on the other end causing Neil's jaw to drop and his eyes to blur. Raihan then continued, "Dad loves Neil."

The phone call was cut off along with the tears that Neil couldn't hold back anymore. His eyes glistened with tears. He sighed, remembering that he wouldn't cry again.

However, Neil wasn't numb yet he still felt a tightness in his chest now.

Why is his life so hard?

Why do the choices he makes always seem wrong?

Life is like a spinning wheel, maybe Neil is at the bottom. However, he was on a wheel that was leaning motionless.

When can he end this?

***

Neil had only come to school this morning man-made passed through the still deserted corridor in his classroom. Neil faintly heard a scream in the distance. He paused for a moment to hear more clearly.

Neil ran when he knew the scream was coming from the toilet. He passed to get there, until when Neil his eyes roamed wildly looking everywhere to find the source of the sound through the toilet cubicles and found one that was locked tightly in the corner.

"Help!" The hoarse voice echoed from inside the booth pounding on the door as if someone else was locking it from the outside.

Neil walked closer trying to open the door with difficulty, but to no avail. Nothing happened.

"I'll open it," he said in a tone he hoped would calm him down.

"Please, no more time. Open it, I don't want to die!" That painful scream made Neil shudder he kicked the door with all his might and went into a panic. He didn't know what was going on with the other people in there who needed his help. Neil blindly continued to kick him.

Until a painful scream began to sound from there. Neil panicked too, he became screaming and kicking and banging the door blindly. Until his hands turn red.

Neil stiffened as the voice disappeared in an instant. However, he did not stop trying to open it.

"I'll open it!" Neil shouted.

A hand gripped Neil's shoulder pulling him away from half-whispering him tightly from behind. Until Neil felt his eyes begin to darken and his body became very light in someone's arms.

***

Neil awoke from his sleep, his eyes blinking remembering well what had just happened. However, for a moment he was silent when he looked around to find himself in a class where the teaching and learning process was taking place. Neil shook his head slowly, reassuring himself.

Was it just a dream?

Why is he suddenly in class?

It seemed real, it couldn't be. Neil was sure it was real. However, why was he here?

Neil massaged his forehead, with this happening. He looked around a few pairs of eyes taking their eyes off him. It brought questions to Neil's mind. They must know something?

"Neil, twenty points are deducted from you for sleeping so long in class." The teacher suddenly said sarcastically, startling Neil. Neil just nodded his head, not knowing what else to say. Since asking what he meant by those points.

As Sain said back then that they would be expelled from this school?

Neil looked back and found Sain resting his chin looking at him with those black glittering eyes. A smile bloomed on Sain's lips as their eyes met, his eyebrows playing up and down teasingly. Neil squinted back at Sain's gaze, but Neil quickly turned away from Sain's gaze as the man-made a gesture with his hand which caused his blood to swish to crawl up his face.

In just a few seconds that little thing was able to distract Neil's mind, from the bad events between dream and reality.

Neil's eyes inadvertently glanced to his side which was again empty without Michelia. Neil glanced at the teacher at the front of the room who was taking notes on the board.

He gently nudged the shoulder of another student sitting in front. The man looked displeased when Neil bothered him, but he still turned his attention to listening to Neil with his eyebrows raised in disapproval.

"Do you know where Michelia is lately?" asked Neil in a half-whisper.

The man snorted and smiled lopsidedly, he pressed his glasses and said, "Michelia is dead."

"What?"

The man immediately turned back, ignoring Neil's bewilderment with his nonsense. Neil shook his head in disbelief. "You're lying."

"You asked, I answered. Let me say it one more time, Michelia died with his head cut off."

"What do you mean?" Neil asked.

"Of course, you'll always forget. Holy shit."

Thank you for reading.