Ch 30 Dumbledore's Order

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Lily pushed her eggs back and forth on her plate. The hardest part of realizing that she screwed up, was figuring out what to do about it.

Even after thinking about it overnight, she'd been able to come up with anything that would really make up for it.

Oh, she could try apologizing, but...

'Sorry for overriding you in every aspect of dealing with James because I had a bit of a crush on him. Yeah, that'll go over great...'

Somehow, she didn't imagine that a simple apology could make it up to him.

Plus, there was the fact that she wasn't supposed to know he was displeased. After all, Severus didn't know that she was Medusa...which in hindsight, made her feel like she had been peeking in his diary.

"Ugh..." was about the extent of what she had come up with when a loud bang echoed through the house.

Standing shakily at the entrance to the kitchen was Mary MacDonald. Spotting Lily, she grimaced. "Sorry, I still need to work on my apparition." She clutched her stomach. "Could you point me to the loo, now?"

As she pointed her friend down the hall, Petunia gave Lily a pointed glare as if to say it was her fault.

Lily rolled her eyes, then winced as she heard the sounds of heaving coming from the bathroom.

Petunia snickered. "And you gave up being normal for that?"

"Shut up. She's a good friend."

"My point exactly." said Petunia, a spring in her step as she returned to her breakfast.

Mary came back, a bit more pale than before. "I apologize for that. I'm still...having some issues with the spell. My parents think it might be my weak constitution."

"Don't worry about it. It's good to see you...although I wish you'd let me know you were coming."

"Well, it was a bit of a spur of the moment idea. I wanted to stop by and say hi to Severus, but then I remembered he's at the Matthews' house, and you're the only one who knows it, so…" Mary indicated herself with a wave of her hand. "...here I am."

Lily raised an eyebrow."You came here just for an address?"

Mary chuckled, shaking her head.

"Can't fool you that easily, can I?"

"Nope," said Lily, popping the 'P'. "What's your real reason?"

"Okay, don't tell Severus, but the truth is…" Mary leaned in conspiratorially. "He's noticed that you've been rather morose the last few days, and I told him I'd look into it."

She probably had a silly grin on her face, but Lily didn't care. It was so sweet of him to notice.

Mary gave her a rather knowing look.

"If you two start talking about his 'dreamy eyes', or some other rot like that, I'm going to vomit," said Petunia, jabbing her fork at Lily like a sword.

Lily felt her face heat up.

Mary chuckled, but cleared her throat. "'Dreamy eyes' aside, what's bothering you, Lily?"

"Probably some pigheaded toerag," said Petunia, before Lily could respond.

Lily gave her a pointed glare, but said, "It's not that. Severus is unhappy with me."

"How on earth do you tell the difference with that boy?" Petunia shook her head. "Honestly, he's got three expressions: frowning, scowling and sneering."

Mary started snickering.

"Petunia, please quit it," said Lily, shooting a dirty look at Mary for good measure.

Petunia rolled her eyes. "Fine, fine. He's got four: frowning, scowling, sneering...and making big, dumb doe eyes at you!"

That was it. "Petunia, for once in your life, could you shut up!"

Her words rang through the air like gunshots.

Petunia pushed her plate away, storming upstairs.

When she had disappeared into her room, Mary said, "That was a tad excessive, don't you think?"

"Look, everyone's always bothering me about Severus, how he's this big evil monster who's going to eat babies while torturing kittens. I'm sick of it, and it's time I did something about it."

Mary frowned...but nodded reluctantly. "Yeah, he doesn't seem so bad, once you get to know him. A bit surly and rude…" She smirked. "With four expressions."

Lily crossed her arms, but had to allow that he was a little...ornery at times. "Doe eyes?"

"Yeah, when he thinks you're not looking, he'll get this really soft expression sometimes, like...he's watching something incredible that only he can see." Mary pulled her bushy hair back, and peered intensely at Lily. "Something like this, I think."

"You look constipated," said Lily. "But...that does sound rather nice. Is it sort of how Sabrina looks at Remus?"

"Sabrina." Mary made a face. "Let's just say her dad doesn't like the idea of his little princess being with someone so poor and mangy."

"Uh oh. I hope it works out for them."

"Me too, but it's going to be up to her I think. She needs to be the one to tell her dad to back off. She can't just pretend nothing's happening."

"Yeah…" That struck close to home. It was just the thing Perseus had complained about. "Actually, there's something I want to talk to you about…"

By the time Lily finished explaining the situation, Mary was shaking her head. "Lily, I don't think there's that much you can do about it. James isn't chasing you anymore from what I've heard, so you can't just ignore him even if you wanted to."

"I know. It's just...I wish I'd at least taken the time to talk to Severus. Whether I was right about James or not, Severus deserved a say."

Mary shrugged. "Sorry to say it, but what's done is done. You can apologize for it, but that's apart all you can do other than try not to mess it up in the future… Of course, you could just try snogging him senseless. That works too."

Was it just her, or did Mary have a bit of a blush on her face?

"Although an enjoyable prospect," said Lily. "I wish there was more I could do."

"Well, you could always write a letter to 'Perseus'. Ask him how he feels his girlfriend could make it up to him."

"Hmm…that will work, I suppose."

Indeed, it was the simple, obvious plan, and likely to work, but something about it bothered Lily.

She just wasn't sure what.

...X…

Lily was just finishing putting the finishing touches on her makeup when she heard a knock at the door.

She was trying to think what her mother might want to talk to her for this time, but when she answered, Petunia was on the other side, arms crossed over her chest.

Lily narrowed her eyes. If Petunia wanted to bother her again, she had better things to do. Her voice frigid, Lily asked, "Can I help you?"

Petunia's lips thinned, but her tone was civil as she said, "So, are you and Severus really an item?"

Lily's planned retort went straight out the window. Petunia wanted to know something about her private life? That wasn't something she saw every day. "Uh, yes. We're seeing each other."

Petunia snorted. "Of course you are...you're always choosing your strange reject and freaks over being normal."

Lily shook her head. So much for being nice for a change. "If you're going to pester me over my love life, I've got better things to do. I'm going to see Severus in a few minutes, so if you will…"

Letting her words trail off, Lily started getting her things together.

The funny thing about dating was that although in the past, she had never thought about how she looked around Severus, and even now he probably wouldn't care, she now found herself caring about what she looked like around him. So lately, she sometimes found herself taking a few minutes to make sure she looked extra-nice before heading out to see him.

She wasn't sure if he noticed-he rarely seemed to notice that sort of thing about himself, after all-but it seemed to put an extra spring in her step, so…

"You seem...happy, lately," said Petunia, peering at Lily down her nose. "Since you've started dating Severus, I mean."

Lily thought Petunia would have left by now. "Look, if you're going to take the mickey out of me again…"

"It's not a bad thing," said Petunia. "He's a weirdo, but if he makes you happy…" She shrugged, in a manner that seemed forcibly nonchalant. "Well, that's not too bad, I suppose."

Lily felt her eyes start to heat up, and had to blink back tears. "He does."

"Good." Petunia looked away, but Lily thought she saw a slight smile on her face. "Maybe it will work out for you two freaks after all."

She was at the door, when Lily said, "Thank you, Tuney."

Petunia paused for a moment. "Good luck on your date."

Then she closed the door behind her.

As she looked in the mirror, Lily noticed two things:

One, she had a stupid grin on her face.

Two, crying so much was not good for makeup.

...X…

After fixing her makeup situation, Lily apparated to the Matthews home again.

Apparently Evelyn hadn't been kidding about the house's strange preferences. Today, it resembled something she might have seen in a history book on ancient Egypt, complete with a miniature pyramid for a shed.

Shaking her head, Lily made her way inside.

Before she got to the brewing room though, she overhead Evelyn talking to Severus. She would have likely alerted them to her presence, if it weren't for what Evelyn said next.

"Severus, I think you should listen to Medusa on this one."

Her hand an inch from the door handle, Lily paused, listening intently.

"I just don't think it's a good idea." Severus said.

"Be reasonable. It's not like either of us are saying you should get into a row with her. We just think you should talk things over with her."

Lily bit her lip. This was clearly a private conversation, and eavesdropping was...very wrong. It would be like reading his diary or some such, assuming Severus had a diary, that is.

"It doesn't matter," Severus said, so quiet she could hardly hear him.

Lily frowned. She didn't like the defeat she heard in his voice. Did he think she wouldn't listen to him or something?

Severus cleared his throat. "In any case, I wanted to ask how things are going for you with...Ambrose, is it now?"

"It's Ambrose, and honestly, I think I've learned my lesson on romance. I'm not going to rush about willy-nilly. I'm going to take my time, get to really know the guy inside and out, before deciding if it's really love or not. There's probably, what, an eighty percent higher chance of success that way…"

Lily frowned. In spite of all her words in the past, something felt a little odd about this. An Evelyn who was calm, sedate and took her time in a relationship was like a Severus who decided potions were boring. Of course, she'd support her, but-

"...besides, Ambrose is amazing in the sack. Those fingers, that tongue, mmm! And his stamina too! He really wears me out sometimes. And when he takes me from behind..."

Oh...so that was what she'd meant.

Severus coughed uncomfortably. "Evelyn, although I'm genuinely, truly glad that he, ah, satisfies you, I would really appreciate it if you kept the details to yourself."

"Yes, yes, I know, Mr. 'My first time will be with the only woman I truly love, after we marry, and there will be flowers and candles and incense and I'll tell her how I am madly in love with her with every thrust'."

"I do not sound like that."

"Severus, your idea of sex is straight out of a romance novel, and not even the good kind. I mean the ones our grandparents used to read."

"Just because I want to wait, that does not mean-"

"I've got a little theory…"

"Evelyn, the last time you had a 'little theory' about me, we didn't talk for weeks." Severus said. "I'd rather not repeat the experience."

Evelyn sighed. "Alright, fine, but if you decide to change your mind, I'll help you and Lily out. Don't worry."

Okay, this had to stop, now. Before they could say any more, Lily opened the door, making as much noise as she could to alert them of her presence.

"Hey, Lily," Evelyn said with a smirk.

"It is good to see you," Severus said, a note of relief faintly audible in his voice. "I just finished the main part of the brewing cycle a few minutes ago, so we should have some time."

"Don't worry, I'll leave you two alone" Evelyn said. "Feel free to enjoy yourselves. Father's going to be out the rest of the week traveling, so plenty of time to yourselves."

As the young woman left the brewing room, Lily reflected that Evelyn's words would have sounded far more innocent if it weren't for her own eavesdropping. As it was…part of her wondered what the other girl's advice would have been...

She clearly needed to change the subject, now. "So, I can't actually stay here long. I'm going to be meeting with Dumbledore tonight."

Severus frowned. "I wonder what that's about."

"Maybe it's because of my prefect duties, or something?"

Severus' eyebrows furrowed, visibly considering. "He didn't want to talk to you last year...unless, maybe it has something to do with you making head girl?"

Lily shrugged. "Could be, but I don't know if we can count on that one."

"Of course you can count on it. You work hard, try to keep the peace, and actually punish everyone who deserves it, rather than just the ones who aren't your friends. You're the only real candidate."

Severus' tone was matter-of-fact, but it was that very lack of flattery that caused his words to make her cheeks burn as red as her hair. "Ah...um...thank you. So...if Mr. Matthews is traveling, what will you be doing in the meantime?"

Severus grimaced. "Unfortunately, since Katrina went with him, I'll be having to take care of brewing the Blood-Replenishing Potions by myself. It's not hard, but it's very boring. I need to be here at all times though as they can be ruined easily."

"Look at it this way, Mr. Matthews must really trust you to leave you responsible for all of it." Lily said, giving his hand a squeeze.

Severus went a little pink himself, clearing his throat. "Yes, but...let's just say that with the war and having two apprentices, things have been going hard for the Matthews family. That's why he's traveling: to drum up more business."

"Ah, hope things get better for them."

"Me as well,," Severus said, giving her hand a tentative squeeze back. "I've missed you, you know."

"Me too...and Sev?"

"Yes, Li-"

His words were muffled by her lips pressing against his. He kissed back, and...well, conversation ended for a while, much to their delight…

...and the annoyance of the rat hiding in the corner.

...X...

It was a very enjoyable hour with Severus, but by the time Lily got back home, it was all she could do to keep from biting her family's ear off at every slight noise.

What if Severus was wrong? What if Dumbledore had come because she had messed something up or what-not?

Still, in spite of her own fears, Severus' words comforted her, just like he had earlier...in more ways than one.

Lily grinned, adjusting her collar to hide any evidence of their actions.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of apparition, and she scampered to the door, behind which Dumbledore stood in garishly-scarlet robes, stroking his beard.

Lily bit her lip. What was the protocol for having one of the most powerful wizards of all time as a houseguest?

"Um...hello, sir."

As if knowing her own thoughts, Dumbledore's eyes twinkled. "Good evening, Miss Evans. Mind if I come in?"

"Of course, s-sir." Lily cursed her stutter. But images of Dumbledore smiling as he told her she had to repeat a year kept flitting through her head.

When they'd all gotten themselves situated in the living room, Lily and Dumbledore sitting across from each other in armchairs, while Petunia and Marigold were spectators sitting on the couch.

Dumbledore was very pleasant, complimenting Marigold on the biscuits she'd provided while Lily's heart went a mile a minute.

It was time to get to the point. "Sir…" Lily said. "I know you wanted to meet, but you never exactly made it clear why…"

"To be quite honest, it was a small bit of selfishness on my part." Dumbledore was quiet for a moment. "Although I am Headmaster of the school, it is unfortunate that with all the responsibilities of my station that I am not able to provide all the students with the time or attention I'd wish to. As such…When it is time to deliver a particularly good bit of news, I like to be the first to tell the student."

Lily's eyes went wide. Could it be?

"Miss Lily Evans." Dumbledore held a gleaming badge up in the air. "For demonstrating hard work and good character, you will be the Head Girl for the coming year at Hogwarts."

There was a joyous squeal, one that it took Lily a moment to realize was coming from her.

Marigold was beaming too, and while Petunia said nothing, she had a small smile herself.

"May I?" At Dumbledore's nod, Lily reached for the badge with trembling hands. Traced in gleaming gold, it read 'Head Girl'. "I really earned it?"

Dumbledore let out a chuckle. "Why of course you did, Miss Evans. In addition to doing a fine job as one of Hogwarts' prefects, you even managed to help someone who'd taken a very dark and dangerous road."

"You don't mean...Severus?" Lily said.

Dumbledore nodded. "Indeed, without your aid, he might have joined the ranks of Voldemort's servants."

"I see," whispered Lily. A week ago, his congratulations would have made her glow with delight, but now…

"In any case, let us go over the duties you'll be facing the coming year…"

And so he did. While most of it she was already familiar with due to her prefect duties, Dumbledore explained that she'd be taking more of a leadership role as Head Girl, with more independence and a guiding role, albeit a few new rules he went over-most rather mundane, although the rule against using your position to gather followers to wage war against the Ministry was...oddly specific.

By the time he was done, Petunia had vanished and even Marigold's eyes had somewhat glazed over.

Dumbledore however still bore that grandfatherly smile as he asked Lily if she would mind walking him out.

When they made it outside though, Dumbledore said, "Miss Evans, I didn't want to worry your mother, but there are a couple more matters to discuss."

Lily's heart started beating faster again, but she nodded.

"Now, I'm sure you have been keeping abreast of the situation in Magical Britain. The murders, hatred and violence...all on Voldemort's orders, one can be sure."

Lily said nothing. His words matched her own inner thoughts. Her only gladness was that Severus wouldn't be marching with that monster.

Dumbledore continued. "I am afraid though that that it is only going to get worse from here. Voldemort wants nothing less than complete control of the Wizarding World."

So it wasn't just school, he wanted her help. Sure it was risky, but… Squaring her shoulders, Lily took the plunge. "I know it will be dangerous, but I'll do whatever it takes to help you fight him, sir."

For a moment, he simply examined her, his bright eyes questioning her willingness to do what she said she would, then Dumbledore chuckled. "Miss Evans, I truly only wished to ask your help in dealing with those students who are, ah, shall we say, overly-supportive towards his cause."

"Oh…" Lily's cheeks burned. "I see."

"Not to say that your offer is unappreciated." Dumbledore said with a grandfatherly smile. "There is indeed a group that I am building with the aim of working to resist Voldemort's mad quest for power, and I would be honored to have you join." He paused. "Once you have finished your schooling, that-"

"I would love to join. You-Know-Who..." Lily balled her hand into a fist. "...all he does is hurt and ruin people, or twist them into things they aren't and should never be."

"Very astute, Miss Evans. One of Voldemort's darkest tendencies is to corrupt those who are drawn to them. Even before the murders, he'd been working to slip his fingers into the heart of the ministry."

Dark eyes glistened in her mind, and a thought struck her. "Sir, if it's alright with you, would it be alright if Severus Snape were to join as well?"

Dumbledore's eyebrows knit together, surveying her shrewdly from behind his half-moon spectacles.

Lily bit her lip. It might be a bold request, but the idea of having Severus at her side...it made the coming war an easier prospect.

Finally, Dumbledore said, "Miss Evans, have you spoken to Mr. Snape about this idea?"

"Ah...no, not really. This was the first time I'd thought about it at all, sir." She mentally smacked herself as she realized it sounded like she was volunteering him without his permission. Quickly, she said, "I meant that...if you think it's a good idea, sir, I'd ask Severus if he would want to join as well."

"Miss Evans, the Order of the Phoenix would certainly be honored to have him join. However…" Dumbledore shook his head. "...I do not believe he would wish to join the Order."

"Uh...I'm pretty sure that he'd want to join the second he found out I intended to. He's rather protective, honestly."

"Yes, but while he's very accomplished for a boy of his age, he's never shown any signs of wanting to fight Voldemort, or what he represents. In fact, a year ago, he seemed well on his way to joining the ranks of his Death Eaters."

Lily's shoulders sagged. "So he can't join?"

"Far from it." Dumbledore said, stroking that endless beard of his. "He is always welcome to join if he wants to, much as anyone is who truly wishes to fight Voldemort. But I don't believe he'd truly want to. Not to say he wouldn't do it if you asked." His eyes twinkled. "The young man is truly quite loyal. Loyal enough to risk his life on your behalf if you demanded it. However, facing Voldemort and those who serve him is a very dangerous task. I would not want him to risk his life because he felt forced into it.

"Oh." Damn, he was right, wasn't he? She could so easily see herself pressuring him until he finally bowed to her wishes and joined a fight that he didn't want to. This was the exact same thing Severus had complained about too. However… "Sir, you're probably right...but I'm going to ask him anyway."

At Dumbledore's frown, she hastened to explain. "I don't think he'd want to fight the Death Eaters either, but that doesn't mean I should make that choice for him. Just as you said, it should be his decision. Besides." She couldn't help but smile. "He's surprised me a lot this past year. Maybe he'll surprise me again."

In the wake of her words, Dumbledore stood there quietly.

Lily bit her lip.

Then Dumbledore started to smile. "Miss Evans...it is truly a blessed thing to see such faith. Certainly, if Severus wants to join, I would be glad to allow it."