Chapter 10

3 months.

That's all I have.

Sometimes I do think that this time would come.

But when it does, it sure hits hard harder than I thought.

3 months.

There may be a lot that I wanted to do.

There may be not.

I had no idea.

I'm home right now while staring at my ceiling from my bed.

The doctor said I had 1.9% of the success of the operation, but I imagine I will not survive.

However, If I do survive... Am I gonna be happy?

Do I wanna live in constant fear of having a heart attack every single day I woke up?

The operation was not to cure my heart, instead, it just repair the flow that clogged during winter.

In short, it will be just the same result.

*********

I woke up in the morning.

I felt relieved when I woke up just to see the calendar was one day after I sleep last night.

I feared that I may sleep for three days or more just like last time.

I only have 3 months before the operation, so I didn't want to waste my time in the hospital.

At least I'm happy I'm outside.

I would be suffoticated to death in that small room.

*******

I arrived at the school.

Hannah just drove away after I get off the car.

She didn't even look at me.

Was she felt guilty after she kept the secret?

That she was a nurse for me for a long time?

Amelia was acting just normal.

I didn't tell her about the operation.

I'm sure Hannah also didn't tell her.

If she did then she would be overly hyped or weirdly obvious about it.

*********

I sat in my chair in the classroom.

Not after a minute, Nana arrived and sat behind me as usual.

Since the last time I wrote about her, she improved significantly.

She started to talk to other people and decided to take part in some group activities.

Maybe she didn't talk that much with them, but she did try her best and it was noticed by others.

During the break, we still went to the same place since then.

However this time, she brought her friends over.

The place was more lively than it was.

She seems happy talking to them and vice versa.

I'm so happy for her.

However, there was some small part of me that hate it.

Maybe it was just envy.

Maybe I was envious of them.

Nana still talked to me, but she didn't talk as much as she used to.

But I'm supposed, That's good enough for me.

If I'm gone, then she's probably still happy.

**********

After school ended, When she was on her way to her home, I stopped her.

"Nana, could I talk to you for a second?"

"Sure."

"Do you want to talk a walk around the parking lot's bench?"

She seems confused.

We went to that place every day, every time.

So why I asked her that?

Even so, she nodded.

*********

We walked slowly around the area.

The snow was so cold when it dropped to my face.

At least I imagined too.

My eyes and thought were so fixed on her that I didn't even notice it.

She was so captivating.

The thought that this might the last time I saw her, hurts me.

We just walked around silently.

She was looking at me like she wanted to ask a question, but she didn't.

Then suddenly, I asked her, "Nana, if you have some time left in this world, what did you wanted to do?"

She seemed shocked. "Why? Did something happened to you?"

"No. Not really. I just had a dream about it. A bad dream. If one day it happened, then what would you want to do?"

Nana seemed lost in her thought for a bit.

"I don't know. What did you enjoy?"

What did you enjoy?

That question hasn't really come to my mind.

I wonder why.

Maybe my mind was too clouded with death that joy didn't even matter.

"What did I enjoy? Hmm, I think that I'm currently having my best time."

"Is it was the winter?"

"Umm, no."

"Is it about this parking lot?"

"..."

I looked at her in the eyes.

The wind blew just like the first time I was here with her.

It was nostalgic for me.

It was a happy time.

It still is, but the majority of feeling right now is sadness rather than happiness.

"Nana, I love you."

I said it.

The words that I stored in my chest for a long time, finally burst out.

She just stood there.

Her face reddens up.

She seems confused.

She looked at me like she was going to give an answer, but then she looked confused again.

This was also a huge part she needs to fix.

This may cause trouble in the future for her.

But honestly, maybe that is one of the reasons why I love her.

I walked closer to her.

I gently put my hand on her chin to make her face pointed at mine.

The sparkling eyes.

The fair skin.

The pinkish lips.

I love every part of her.

I subconsciously leaned my face toward her.

Before I had time to pull back my face, I saw her face.

She was closing her face and leaned her face towards mine.

That evening, we kissed like there was never tomorrow.