I felt cold, numb even. A darkness had started to shroud around me, keeping me deep in my thoughts as I felt myself carried by the despair that settled over my mind. Everything that I thought I had known had come crumbling down with the realization that my life was not what it all seemed. The happy memories, the smiles, and cherished hugs, they where all lies. My mother was killed because of these said lies. Innocent lives had been lost at the hand of my father, and who knows how many countless more. Because of this, our people where attacked mercilessly. The person who was behind these attacks, was rallying people who hated the throne and using them to their advantage.
I had to get to the bottom of this before it got out of hand. If our enemy where to gather any more people, we could be easily over thrown. Everyone was now a suspect, considering this was also an inside job. The enemy had people in every nook and cranny, and I feel like I barely just scraped the surface. I was starting to care less about my title as a Knight, and as a Princess. All I wanted was to stop these attacks, to put an end to this on coming war. This is exactly what will happen if we keep getting walked all over. Once father finds out what happened to mother, he would surely start getting his hands dirty as well.
He wasn't one to just let things slide. Not unless you where Illia anyway. I had to get to the bottom of this before he decides to go on a rampage. I would have to get Emmanuel to talk, and soon. The problem was, the General couldn't get him to talk. He was resistant to torture and appears to have a high pain tolerance. We would need another tactic if we wanted to succeed. The only problem was, we didn't have anything we could as leverage. I doubt he had anything of personal value, and without knowing where his base was, we couldn't just threaten him either.
"But what if we where to set him loose?" I whispered to myself. I bit my finger thoughtfully as I leaned back in my chair. After having my break down, Nicklos had been kind enough to return me to my room. I had calmed down after an hour and decided to start working again, but my mind became flooded and any motivation I had mustered vanished without a trace. Nicklos had sat quietly on the edge of my bed and was sharpening his sword while he gave me my space. He set his stone down as I spoke, a curious look upon his face.
"Let who loose?" I pursed my lips and stared out the door to the balcony. The sun was half way up in the sky, letting me know that half the day was already gone. Not a cloud dotted the sky, leaving the sun surrounded by a bright blue endless ocean. The curtains around the door billowed with the soft gentle breeze, making it swing gracefully towards my bed. The slightly cold air rushed over my skin, causing my body to shiver and the hairs to raise. How peaceful everything seemed in this moment. It was almost as the world was at ease, and their wasn't all this hostility in the air. How I longed for that to be true.
"Our fugitive. If he were stupid enough to think we wouldn't follow him, he may lead us to one of their camps. As far as we know, he has no where else to go but the main camp. Even if he where to run to another small camp, we could infiltrate if and find a weaker link." A weaker link might even mean we could get more than enough information out of him than we need. We could find Max and return him home. Then he could tell us what he want to know.
"Or he could take his life once he is free. With what you told us the other day; it honestly sounds like his 'Masters' don't care if he is alive as long as they get the results they want. It's risky to let someone this valuable go." Nicklos stood from the edge of the bed, sheathing his sword as he rose. He had me there. I didn't think about the risk of him taking his own life. But then again, all we had to do is take away all his weapons and travel at a safe enough distance where he couldn't spot our men, or harm himself in the process.
"What if we make it look like they are helping him escape. We won't give him any weapons or anything he could harm himself. Nathanial and Jeremiah are excellent trackers. All I would have to do is send a few men with them in case things go south. I've seen them fight first hand and they are excellent in tight spots and close encounters." I had no doubt that Nathanial and Jeremiah could handle a small camp of rogue mercenaries by themselves. A small group of soldiers would just be for precautionary measures. Silence filled the room as we both sat pondering to ourselves. If we could just make this work, we could be at the head of this before too long.
"I think it's a great plan, but there is still the issue of whom to trust." I sighed heavily, because again he was right. The question of who was loyal and who wasn't was very questionable. I shouldn't have been so quick to kill Delphine. We could have tried to milk more information from her, but at that moment I couldn't control my emotions. I am sure I would get lectured about that later by the General. So now we had to think bigger and put more faith into a situation that could go wrong in so many ways.
"I need to speak with the General about these things. He is the barracks more than I and knows the soldiers better than myself." Even I had a very small circle of people I trusted, and that wouldn't be enough for me to send with Jeremiah and Nathaniel. General Bregus has had more time to boss them around than myself, so he was better at judgement of character. He could form the best team to escort the scouts safely and with the best results. I needed to start spending more time with my soldiers, it would help in the future.
"I'll have a maid send for him." I smiled appreciatively as he walked towards the door. He paused with his hand on the door knob, almost like he was hesitating to open it. But as he looked over his shoulder, I saw the smile on his face. "It's amazing how much time can change you. When we first met, you where small and nervous. Always looking over your shoulder like everyone was out to get you. You are far from the scared girl you use to be. Just like I always knew you would." With that, he walked out the door. Tears one again pricked at me eyes, but not because I was upset. His praise reminded me that I had come a long ways. All those hard times and struggles paid off and made me the person I am today. I was always so focused on trying to change the mind of people who where impossible. I never for a moment stopped to appreciate the people who where already by my side. Even still the amount of people that supported me where slowly rising.
I needed to change my focus, because those numbers will strengthen me one day when it mattered the most. Those voices of my supporters will trump those who stood against me. Even the ones on the Council. But I think even if I did lose my spot as a Knight down the road, it wouldn't matter, because what I am doing now is already making a difference. There are women who are slowly starting to join our ranks, and even are active scholars. My voice has made a change, and it would only continue to grow.
Nicklos was a small part of my success though. If he hadn't been there for me through all those tough times, I don't think I would be where I am today. His support carried me through the Knight training, and then I was able to stand on my own two feet and plow through even my own doubt. He gave me the push I needed. When Nicklos came back through the door, he found me in a small puddles of smiles and sniffles. The shroud that had buried me under the gruesome waves had lifted and I could breathe a little easier. The resentment and anger I felt still remained, but it was motivated by wanting to make things right in the Kingdom.
Nothing would go right as long as my father was still in power, so I needed to start coming up with ways to make him step down. Even if it meant that I would have to marry Nicklos to make that happen. Not that marrying him was a bad thing in the slightest. There would be no one I would trust more than Nicklos with my life.
"Are you alright Alliah? You where okay a few minutes ago." Nicklos said as he knelt next to me, his golden eyes filled to the brim with worry. His gentle hands caressed my legs as he tried to soothe me. But there was nothing to soothe, my mind had been made up.
"Nicklos, I think we should tie the knot already. I know you are the Crown Prince of your land, but you have a younger brother, you can stay here with me. There is no one I want more than you by myside." I said grabbing his hands gently with mine. His face lit of a smile so wide I thought his face would split. His free hand caressed my face as he leaned in close. I placed my forehead on his as I tried to search his face. He seemed delighted, but also hesitant.
"There is nothing more in this world I would love to do, than to stay by your side forever. But right now, you are lost in emotions. Please take more time to think about this before you just make a proposal like that." He brushed his thumb gently across my cheekbone. I could feel the disappointment enter my heart, I really thought he would have said yes. I should tell him my plan, but it didn't feel right to but him on the spot like that either. This would wait another day when the timing was better. And maybe after I talk to Bregus about it first as well. It wouldn't be good to plan something this big and not be aware of the consequences.