It's Planning Time

'Okay. Now that I know I somehow time traveled for real, let's get facts straight first.'

Thinking that, I rolled on my bed and got up. I had to roll twice and over my so many pillows surrounding me because my ever-loving mother gave me a queen-sized bed all to myself. Plus I'm still very petite at the moment. The digital clock on my bedside table showed five o'clock in the morning—just the perfect time. I could still gather my thoughts before school. In the Pearl of the Orient, my country, school starts at seven wherein we mostly gather at the school grounds to sing the national anthem, do morning exercise, and listen to the principal's address or other stuff. So basically I have at least an hour to do this before mom calls us for breakfast.

My study table was located a few meters away from my bed, near the pastel blue walls where my cork boards, whiteboards, and other stuff I needed for learning were hanging. It was pretty big if I do say so myself, and L-shaped. That way, the big computer was in the middle, and if I needed to write something, I would go to my left side where my notebooks would be. Behind it were three bookshelves lined up against the wall—I did fancy reading while I was still at school. Correction—actually, not just when I was at school but even when I grew up. Reading had become my favorite pastime.

Sitting down, I grabbed a cute notebook and a pen. But as soon as I was about to write something, I changed my mind and opened up the computer. I couldn't risk my mom getting over my stuff and seeing what I wrote. She would either think I'm a lunatic or trying to write a fantasy story about myself. Ha-ha! No, I'd rather save a whole lot of time trying to explain things to her by going on my computer, creating a secure folder, and typing my thoughts in a word document.

Tick… tock… tick… tock…

My computer took its sweet time booting up. Well, it was an old model—old for me at least, who already knew how fast computers and laptops would be in the not-so-distant future. The year I time travelled to was 2009. In my country, technology was still in its early phase at that time. Not many households owned computers, and this slow-opening one was considered as the fastest performing model yet.

Few minutes passed and at last, it's done booting up. I felt a bit proud of my young self seeing my desktop so clean and organized, with the beautiful starry night sky as my desktop wallpaper. I had always been a bit of an OC (obsessive-compulsive).

"July 7, 2009-Tuesday."

I typed on the document. It was followed by...

"I time travelled yesterday to the beginning of my 4th year in high school. It was the second month—school usually starts in June. I'm currently in the body of my 16 years old self."

Then, I erased "16" and made it into "15". It was still July and my birthday would be in September so until then, I'm still 15. Continuing, I typed…

"My mom and dad are still together, and my brother is still in Elementary, 5th grade."

I suddenly stopped and re-read what I just typed. Right. My mom and dad were still together! And it was still July! I could still turn things around!

In my old timeline—I wasn't sure yet what to call it—they separated because my dad was scammed into investing all our money into a non-growing business. Given the fact that they were already in a not-so-good phase at that time, my mom got even angrier with him and he just left after that. Talk about irresponsible parenthood. Then, my mom tried to go back to work but she became sickly. She managed to let me graduate high school but she couldn't work anymore after that, and I had to take on the family burden since I'm the eldest. Yes, in my country, it always falls on the shoulders of the eldest—the task of upholding the family—should the parents be incapable.

"When was it again?" I murmured, trying to recall when my dad got scammed. It was October that he admitted it to mom and they got into a big fight. But if he admitted it in October, then he should have invested before that, right? "Come on, Senara, think!"

'Ugh, why am I only good at remembering useless stuff? I'm like Dory in Finding Nemo. How did I become valedictorian again? I'm so good at studies but I suck at life.'

Then, like a light bulb, it came to me.

'Right! Those visitors! He had weird visitors whom I didn't really like back then. My instincts had somehow always been right. He said they were business partners. It was on my mom's birthday—August! 16th of August! That's next month! I need to be prepared and talk to dad about it. But how in the world could I convince him? Hmmm…'

[Music Recommendation: "In Silence" by Janet Suhh (It's Okay Not To Be Okay OST)-available in Youtube or Spotify] ~

As the thought of talking to my dad sunk into me, my heart suddenly ached…

Not only did I travel back in time, but I also travelled with all of my memories with me—memories that included my dad leaving us. And because of that, I had to suffer. Because of that, I was forced to be strong at a very young age and sacrifice a lot of things for our family.

I bit my lips as I remembered them. Honestly, I didn't really feel like talking to him even when I saw him again yesterday, after so many years I didn't.

Rage and bitterness took over my heart.

Who wouldn't be?

Even on my deathbed, he didn't visit me! Like I was someone unimportant! Like the times we spent when I was young were all nothing for him!

Especially when I… used to love my dad more than my mom.

Yes. The very first man I loved and trusted… was also the one who betrayed me first.