34. Jealous

In the middle of the rain, he was tending to closed his eyes but there's some resistance. His eye was too busy poured the tears. He rested his head with tears dripped through his cheek. His mind was blank, nothing appeared in his smart brain. Every time he wanted to forget her, the stronger their memories appeared in his mind. 

James parked his car near the bar, in case if he couldn't survive from these cursed memories he could just go to the bar and get whisky right away. He turned on the air conditioner and opened a little bit of the window to get rid of the fog. After he opened his window he could hear the sound of the rain outside his car, so loud. For a second he felt could hear the skies crying.

'Are you feel the same way? I can hear you crying from here, I know cause I feel it too. So what made you crying this loud, dear beloved sky?' 

James ponded on his leather seats car, the car that felt so empty because no one filled the other side. He didn't want to go home just to back to his empty bed, the bed that felt a little bit bigger now. Whenever he goes, he could felt the emptiness inside him. 'I don't know if it just me or everything feels so empty now?'

He asked the sky but he couldn't get the answer. He asked the sun, but right now it was blocked by the dark cloud. He didn't know where he could ask about his condition, 'Should I come to Ed's house? Just to make me believed that I'm not alone in this damn world,'

Less than an hour, James ran out to the bar. Ordered some scotch neat as always, he ran through the middle of the rain that made his shoes and jacket wet. He didn't care about all of it, because he couldn't endure this pain. He needed some boost, or he needed some alcohol just simple as that. He wanted to get out of the reality, just a little while.

He sat alone at the bar, sipped his drink with a cigarette in the other hand. He glanced at people who came at the bar before dusk, just like him. James wanted to know if they're someone who desperate as him. Someone who wanted to run away from this world through intoxication.

The answer was, none of them. Most people smiled and laughed with their friend there, 'Oh, how lucky they are,' James sipped his drink till the last gulp, less than a half-hour and now he decided to ordered a bottle. 

His phone ringing when he tried to enjoy his drink. He still sober at that time, and he checked the notification. There're a lot of messages, he wasn't sure who came with the important news. He ignored all of them, but he eyed a message from one person, Diana. 'Why she send me a message?'

"James, How are you? By the way, I've finished reading your new book also I have read the review and I just—"

He closed it, James didn't want to think about it right now. His head is filled with his Ex and her new lover, and now someone reminded him about his crap that he made. Every bad thing came at him one by one. He didn't even have time to relax, it made him stressed out. James finished his drink with one question in his head, 'Why? From the seven billion people in this world, why I had this stressful life? Is there someone that felt the same way?' 

After contemplated in the half-crowded bar, he decided to goes to Ed's place. He ordered water before texted him, he didn't want to go drunk and make a mess. James waited a couple of hours in his car to sober then texted him. He wasn't fully sober and he didn't think it through, he didn't want to felt alone so he used Ed to fill a hole in his heart. 

***

It passed seven and James hasn't shown up yet, Ed thought he might be lying. As long as he knew, James never lied not at one! He worried today would be a special case for James, Ed knew that James didn't like to connect with someone unless they could amuse him. 

Ed became more impatient when he didn't show up at eight, it been an hour late. He almost told his wife to eat the dinner without James, because he didn't expect he would show up after one hour late.

Just before Ed came at his wife to begin the dinner, he heard a car stopped at the front door. He rushed at the door, and there was him. Still, in the same outfit from this afternoon, James got out of the car with a bottle of wine in his hand, James knew he would apologize for his late.

"You late," Ed blunt at him.

James smile, he knew Ed would be snapped, "Haha, I'm so sorry, here I brought a red for you."

Ed took his bribery wine, "Oh god, you lucky you brought something." They stepped inside with James wasn't fully sober, "Man, you should get rid of your habit."

"Oh, c'mon Ed I'm sorry. I'll try to fix it next time I promised,"

"So, do your friend arrived babe?" James heard voices down the stairs that was Ed's wife. She looked at James and shook his hand. She stood next to Ed and put her arm around his waist. "Hello, I didn't know you've arrived. Rose, nice to finally meet you,"

"My pleasure to welcomed at this beautiful house," James smiled and Ed let him went straight to the dinner place, "You're hungry right? Come, my wife had made some delicious dinner,"

That was a different feeling when James stepped inside, warm and happy. He didn't know because this young couple showed their intimacy in front of him or there was something else that made this family looked so happy. Feeling that he hadn't felt for a while when he still had someone to share his happiness with.

They sat and enjoyed the dinner and that was delicious. Just like eat at the restaurant, now he knew why Ed always wanted to go home early and refused when he asked him to the restaurant. His wife was a great chef, the smell of the food is made his tummy growling.

She's a great wife, and James knew Ed deserved it. He never saw him smiled this happily at work and only here, with his lovely person around him. She's beautiful and charming, just like beautiful red roses. 

Her name explains how great she is, she smooth but strong at the same time. The way she talked and smiled could make everyone felt thankful to have her. She was wearing a red dress tonight, exactly like a beautiful flower. Rose is the one who could make Ed smiled so widely.

"So tell me how you're guys met," James asked nicely, he wanted to be a good guest. 

Rose blushed, "Oh this is embarrassing…babe you tell him," She pocked Ed because she was too shy to tell James about it.

"I think you're the one who should tell him. He probably sick heard me talked to him every day." Ed laughed and grabbed her hand, "It's your stages,"

"Okay, so back to—" 

Rose started her story, but James only heard half of it. He didn't focus on the story because he was distracted by the romance and intimacy all over the table. He focused on the couple of love birds who always showed their loved and felt like the world is theirs and no one else.

James jealous of them, he wanted to spend his evening with someone to make sure he didn't felt alone, he wanted it! Turn out came at Ed place was a bad idea, he felt more empty than before. He wanted that laugh and all the romance that they had. 

He didn't listen to the story. His eyes were somewhere else, and he just smiled at their love and not for the stories. James was thinking about his feeling and wondered when the day that he felt happy like those two would come. The day's that he had been waiting for.