32. Into Pieces

James woke up at 9 a.m. today, he didn't have the intention to do it. His head still a little dizzy after last night. James drank a lot of beer that night, he never felt so trashed at the party. That's what he remembered right when he opened his eyes, and that's fucked-up. 

He got up and hit the water straight away, just to make sure his eyes fully opened. The water felt so cold this morning, James couldn't stand the cold. His body was shivering and trembling because of the water, but he forced himself to face it.

It became his ritual every morning, the cold of the water makes James remembered why he should open his eyes. Life's hard and everybody knows it, James had stayed in his comfort zone for too long. He had been on the top for the past few years, it's had made him a different person and it gave him different life.

Every comfort that he had in that position, was everyone's dream, and he reached it at the age of 21. Financial security, money, and every dream that you wanted to become the usual thing for him. He stayed for too long, and that's the dangerous thing.

The way life's treat us is wonderful. We, humans always want to be in the comfort zone. A zone is something abstract, it doesn't have an entity. Still, everyone desperately pursued something so abstract and that's what will bring you down. When someone doesn't have triggered to do something different and it means they're dead on the inside.

James walked out of the bathroom and dried himself with a towel. He back to the bedroom changed his outfit. He didn't sure what will be picked from the closet. Fancy or casual, he'd ponded for a while in front of his huge closet.

While he stood and was confused with his style, his phone was ringing and it wakes him up. James rushed to get the phone, Ed was on the line. Since James didn't write again Ed barely called him unless there's something important.

"What's up?" James put his phone at a loudspeaker and back at his bedroom.

"James, how's your new job?" Ed called from his office, there's a sound of people talking around him.

"Pretty good. The students didn't trouble me so much,"

"That's nice, and how's she? Have you…" He dying to known but didn't sure about it.

"Christy? Yeah, I met her. She's fine but…" James stopped, "Never mind," he felt it's not important to explain what had happened to him.

They fell still, no one said another word for almost a minute. Ed knew there was a problem between them. James wasn't the type of guy who would talk about his problem, and Ed knew it. He wasn't hoping James would tell it on the phone. He wanted to ask but dare not to. 

"James, you have a plan after work?" Ed asked with more people around and he must go away to find a quiet place to continue.

James thought about his plan after work, with his hand still on the clothes hanger, "Nope,"

"Good, come to my place. I'll take you to dinner with my wife,"

James stopped his hand for looking clothes, questioned. "What? Why all of the sudden?"

"I just wanted to ask you that's it. I haven't introduced you to my wife. Aaa C'mon man just came at 7, I'll see you later."

James sighed, he didn't have a choice. It's true, for almost a year since Ed married James didn't meet his wife even once. He came to his wedding but too many people at his wedding and there's no one that he knew so he took off. James thought it'll be good to pay his debt.

After 30 minutes he finally knew what should he wear today. He took a polo shirt with a sweater and casual jeans. James wasn't an official teacher so he could dress whatever he wanted.  He grabbed his bag and put a laptop in it, hoped he'll write again if there something happened to him.

He picked his keys and hit the road. It's still 1 hour earlier so he had plenty of time, he drove to the boulevard just to passed the time. He watched the city worked in the middle of the day, the taxi driver who argued with his passenger and the hotdog man who served his order with a smile in every food he gave.

A small smile appeared on his face. 'Fuck it' He said at himself, didn't know why he mad at it. He hit the gas and went straight away to the school, he failed to pass the time. The skies turn into gloomy and he didn't want to be late on his second day.  He thought he could order coffee at the coffee shop and drink it in the parking lot.

James ordered a black coffee to take away then went at full speed. He parked at the corner of the parking lot. Sat at the car bonnet and light up his cigarette, he watched the parent who waited for their kids to go home. They chatted, talked, and gossiped while waited to bond with other parents.

This is the time when parents showed off about their kids, the achievement, graded even their behavior when they got back from school. Some parents just nodded along and showed a pity laugh because their child is an ordinary student. 

James laughed at their stupidity, he knows that's why there's pressure being a kid or student. They had to be perfect so their parent had something to showed off with another parent. This is why James loved ordinary students, they just had fun and that's the point of being young. He didn't want kids to be him, a guy who lost his high school joy.

Bell rang, a student came out from their class with their exhausted face. Some kids went played with their friends and some of them got home with their parents. A few teachers also came home, maybe they wanted to be laid back and relax after handled some troublesome kids.

There, right before James wanted to put off his cigar. The lovely creature came from the hallway, with her suits and paperwork in her hand. Said goodbye to another student, giggled then wave her hand. She came to the car parked not far away from where he stood.

James was shocked and surprised, as long as he remembered Christy couldn't drive and she didn't have a car. 'Who knows you've changed this much, I couldn't recognize you anymore.' He smiled desperately.

His smile didn't last long, for a second he felt his heartbeat wanted to stop. There was someone who came out from the car with a leather jacket and glasses on, a guy! He put his arm at her neck and kiss her intensely, James doomed. He finished, felt like there's someone ripped out his heart and throw it away from the garbage.

His eyes couldn't see it anymore, but he couldn't turn away. 'It's just a month till we broke up and there's someone else? Who is he? What… why… Christy…' His brain stopped working, his body felt like struck by a lightning, and know he couldn't think of anything else. All he could think is just her soft lips and her gorgeous face who had been kissed by another man.

That guy opens the door for her, they laughed and joked at each other. They drove away, left James alone stood at the parking lot stared at the empty side. He looked like a fool and didn't move for a minute. 'I must follow them, I want to know who he is,'

Right before James wanted to goes inside his car and chased them, someone called him from the hallway.

"Mr. Nathaniel, your students awaited. The class almost start,"

James looked at him, he's another teacher. He has been stared at James that didn't move from his car for almost 3 minutes. James couldn't do anything, he let them away. That's no way for him to chased him because of this job.

James smiled weakly, "Right away Mr. Galloway. I just wanted to pick up my bag." 

He's weak, nothing he could do. James picked up his bag and went to the classroom, talked about writing and some other stuff but his mind is another dimension. His chest is breathless, there's something heavy in his chest. He didn't know what it is, maybe it's his heart. It has been broken into pieces.