The Climb

Nagkalat na mga damit ang nakahandusay sa aking kwarto. I can't see anything aside from shirts and pants. This is the time when we girls realize that you can never have too many clothes. Cancelling our trip was not an option. Lalo pa't ang babaw ng dahilan ko.

Left with no clue on what to do, I called Georgina. Hindi pa nakakadalawang ring ay sinagot na niya. I breathed a sigh of relief as if I'm already saved.

Still organizing my thoughts, I stayed silent. But Georgina never talked. Hinihintay niya lang akong magsalita. I cleared my throat before saying anything.

"Hi Georgina."

"You need something." her voice teasing me.

"Not really." liar. I scolded myself from lying. "I just want your opinion."

"Tungkol saan?"

Once the cat is out of the bag, she will know. Madali lang naman pagdugtungin ang lahat. She can read the truth from me so easily.

"Let's say na maghahiking ka..." well, here it goes. I should just go for it. "ano'ng susuotin mo?" tumahimik ako. Naghihintay sa kung ano ma'ng reaksyon niya.

Nagpipigil na tawa ang narinig ko sa kabilang linya. "If it's me, why would I go hiking?"

I groaned. Hindi ko na dapat tinawagan 'to. I'm tempted to end the call but for some reason, I held myself. She's the one I need right now. At alam niya iyon. "Because it's good for the health. You need to move your body a bit."

That's a nice way to put it Lilliana. Make her believe it.

"Okay, that's so lame. Pwede naman akong magshopping. That's still walking."

"But hiking is fun." depensa ko. Ang malalakas na tawa ni Georgina ang narinig ko.

"Shopping is more fun." giit niya.

"Hindi kaya!"

"How did you know? Hindi ka pa nga nakakapaghike." she calmed herself. Seryoso na sa mga sumusunod na salita. Pero I can picture her mischievously smiling at me. "you should wear something comfortable but chic. Shorts will do kaso baka masugatan ka. To be safe, opt for a track pants or a spandex leggings. Bring a cap and water na din. Wear light colors para hindi masyadong mainit." see? She can be reasonable at times. I filtered the useful things she said.

"A, Georgina?" there's no more room for shame. "Magdadala ba ako ng pamalit? I mean pagpapawisan kasi ako diba?" and I don't want to spend a day with Joaquin kung ang lagkit ko. I bit my lip from bubbling everything. Napahagalpak na siya ng tawa.

"You can change. Pagbalik mo na."

"No!" I covered my mouth, shocked at myself from losing control.

"It's a date." she stated not asked. "May date kayo ni Joaquin." I cursed inwardly. I don't want to assume things. He just said we'll go hiking. Nothing else. If only I could convince this traitorous heart of mine. "Well, I can still make you spill the details next time. Magdala ka na din para kung sakaling hindi ka niya iuwi." biro niya.

"That's not true." namula ako.

"Malay mo. Wear some sunscreen!"

"I'll go. Thanks. Bye." I ended the call bago pa ako bumigay sa panunukso ng kaibigan.

All these years, I have Joaquin's number. How many text messages have I not sent? How many calls have I not dialled? I always want to reach out to him but I have my pride. Ayos na iyong alam ko sa sarili kong gusto ko siya. Gustong gusto. Wala ng dahilan pa para magpapansin pa ako. I also did not add or follow him to any of his social media accounts. What for? I'll just see him, then miss him and give in. He's a temptation to my soul. Once I let my guard down, his whole being will invade my system. I need control - in my emotions and thoughts. I needed it to be safe. These are all the things that I chanted to keep me sane through my younger years. But not now. Not anymore. I'm letting go all of the safety pins.

Madaling araw pa lang ay sinundo na niya ako sa bahay. He's the one who asked dad to grant me permission for this day. Feeling energized despite the crazy last minute preparations I made last night, I trotted to him. Finally, some time alone with my man.

We have our light breakfast. I'm not a coffee person unlike them. My heart tends to palpitate easily with the help of caffeine. I smiled as I look at him quietly. Those prominently chiseled jawlines look so alluring under the dim lights. Feeling my gaze, he raised one thick dark brows at me.

"This is yummy." I said as I shamelessly took a bite at the sandwich that he's holding. He froze at my audacity. It only took him a second to regain his bearings. Seeing him lean down on me, I held my breath.

"You have this. Parang bata." calloused fingertips brushed my lips. The thrill of this little physical contact had me vibrating. I licked the corners of my mouth feigning ignorance.

He offered the rest of it to me. Hinihintay na tanggapin ko ang binibigay niya. "Ayaw ko na. Tinikman ko lang naman." his face was taut while deeply looking at me.

Lazy mornings like this should be cherised. I closed my eyes to savor the moment.

"I'm done. Tara na." aya niya.

It was still chilly when we set off. Sinalubong namin ang papasikat na araw. Everything around felt so right. Even some of the slippery trails has its own charm. Ilang beses na rin akong muntik madulas kung hindi lang napipigilan ni Joaquin.

"Dahan-dahan." maiinit na kamay ang dumikit sa aking likuran. I tensed as a tingling sensation spread through me. I cleared my throat to compose myself. Relax Lilliana!

"It's okay. Kaya ko naman." pagmamayabang ko. Let's just fake it till we make it sabi nga nila.

"Kaya mo pero kailangan mo pa din ako." ang baritonong boses niya ang umalingawngaw sa sistema ko. I snapped my head back to look at him. Sinisigurong tama ba ang narinig ko.

"Yes Joaquin." I nodded. Tama ang sinabi mo. My first step towards him is to stop calling him kuya. Naiiling na lang siya sa lakas ng loob na ipinapakita ko. What can you say? I'm a Severino. We can be bold.

I grasp an errant root along the way to steady my footing. Gusto ko mang mapalapit sa kaniya pero not at the expense of me falling with my face on the ground. That will be an unforgettable moment for us but I will not allow it to happen.

"We'll find somewhere to rest for a bit. Hindi naman tayo nagmamadali." I can feel his breath caressing me. I smiled at him thinking to myself that he can take all the time he need and I'll still be happy. I have him with me.

"Saan tayo pupunta pagkatapos dito?" I can't help but anticipate our next 'date'. It doesn't matter that I already feel a bit tired and sore, I still have energy for more.

Doing the things you love with someone close to your heart will multiply the feeling of satisfaction you get from it. Dapat pala noon pa ako nag-ayang maghiking. This can be considered as one of my many firsts with him.

"Hindi ka pa nga nakakarating sa taas." biro niya. There's already a feeling of familiarity between us. Even the silence brought indescribable comfort.

I need to plan ahead. Ayaw ko ng magsayang ng oras na pwede namang kasama ko siya. It doesn't matter if we're just busy doing our own thing. The point was to do it while being together. My target is to occupy all his free time while he's still here. So far, I'm still good.

"Malapit na tayo diba?" I paused to catch my breath, doing my best to still portray myself as 'dalaga na'. Ashamed of literally marketing myself, I somehow toned it down a bit.

"Kaunti na lang. We'll do something you want after this." he nodded.

Hiking is definitely not a one time event. Ito ang naisip ko ng makarating sa itaas. I spread my arms as I bathed on the warmth of the sun with the fresh air blowing on me. I sighed. The breathtaking view outweighs the hardship along the way. Mabuti na lang at natuloy kami.

Joaquin gave me his towel. Nalaglag kasi yung akin kanina. I inhaled his scent hoping to imprint it to me. His eyes were squinted as he looked at the scenery.

"No. Lilliana. Stop it." Joaquin said as soon as he saw what I'm doing. Not capturing moments like this would be a crime. There's my favorite man, aside from the Severinos, and the view that never shy away from showing off.

I give him my best smile to get what I want. This trick never fails, so far. "I'll take yours. You'll take mine." pictures. I'm talking about pictures.

He had no choice but to concede. Steeling myself to ask for another favor, I went to him.

"What are you doing?" nakakunot na tanong niya. He's a person who's not fond of the camera. With his looks, you can say that he's born to be under the constant flashes of lights. But alas, it's exactly the opposite.

"I want a proof." I squinted my twinkling eyes.

"Of what?"

"Of my first hike. Kasama ka." ihinilig ko ang aking ulo. I started being vague. Forget the rules that girls should wait. Aren't we empowered as well? Isa pa, I'm not the type to pester him 24/7.

Napailing na lang siya pero sa huli ay pumayag din. I tried to make him smile but I failed. I looked at the photo of us together under the clear skies. My hands are shaking from too much kilig. Pinalitan ko agad ang background photo sa phone ko. Should I change his as well?

We only took half of the time we spent when we go down. Mas madali nga naman ang bumaba kaysa abutin ang taas. His broad shoulders and back scream dependable as he walk in front of me. I smiled, feeling satisfied.

I already stamped him with a Severino mark.