Busted

"Hi da-"

"Follow.me." hindi ko na natapos ang aking sasabihin ng makaalis si dad. Pinasadahan niya lang ako ng tingin.

What have I done? Nagmamadali ko siyang sinundan sa opisina. I knocked at the door.

"Come in." he blandly looked at me.

Tumayo ako ng maayos at tahimik na naghintay. Halos himatayin na ako sa kaba, iniisip kung saan ba ako nagkamali. Pakiramdam ko malapit na akong sintensyahan. I held my breath as he speaks.

"Do you have anything to say to me?" napalunok ako.

Is this because I failed my quiz last time? O baka naman noong napagsaraduhan ako ng gate dahil nalate kami ni Georgina? Ang dami kong kasalanan pero this will not result to dad being this mad.

"You can't remember anything Lilliana?" naniningkit na ang kanyang mga mata.

"D-dad, I-im… sorry." as I comb my memory hoping that I know what exactly made him this mad. Pangako kong hindi ko na uulitin iyon.

"For what?" I clenched my hands to stop it from shaking. Hindi ko pa din alam ang sagot sa tanong ni dad.

"Coz… I failed my quiz and... and m-my… my allowance is almost gone?" hindi siguradong sagot ko.

Dad gasped. Hindi inaasahang nagawa ko ang bagay na iyon. Nadagdag pa tuloy ito sa mga kasalanan ko.

"I-i mean kasya pa naman po hangga-" I tried to explain.

"Ano ang pinagkakagastusan mo? Don't you dare lie na school fees. Binayaran ko na lahat ng iyon." I should blame Georgina but I know I shouldn't. Mawawalan ako ng kaibigan pag nagkataon.

'You should influence her. Not the other way around Lilliana.' ito ang sabi ni dad last time that we got in trouble.

"I bought some cosmetics po." pag-amin ko.

Georgina says I should start collecting things. She says it's a lady's must-haves. I can now apply some lipbalm and liptint. Sunscreen is a must, a little bit of blush and some signature perfume.

There's no one that can teach me about this stuff. Sa kaniya nanggagaling ang mga insights ko pagdating sa ganitong bagay.

He pinched his nose. Iniyuko ko pang lalo ang ulo ko sa kahihiyan.

"Are those classified as your needs?" he demands an answer.

"No dad." napailing na lang siya. Halatang dismayado dahil pinagkagastusan ko ang mga ganito.

I sighed. Umaasa akong hindi niya kukuhanin iyon para lang itapon. My heart will bleed if that happens. Lalo pa at nabutas ang bulsa ko doon. Still, if that happens, I can't do anything.

"What else? You better confess now." natahimik ako. Wala ng iba pang alam na nagawang mali nitong mga nakaraang araw.

Bakas sa mukha ni dad ang pagkainip. Lalo pa siyang nagalit dahil hindi na ako nagsalita pa.

"Somebody told me you went on a date." madiin niyang sabi.

The blood drained from my face. My world stopped at that time. Hindi ko na napigilan ang maiyak. I am busted.

Paanong nalaman niya? Isinantabi ko muna ito.

I open my mouth to start apologizing and to try to explain my side. I knelt as my strength failed to support me.

"I-I'm… I'm s-sorry dad." abot ang pagpunas ko sa aking mga luha. Balot ako ng takot dahil nalaman na ni dad. I broke his trust. I failed him.

"Explain." utos niya.

"I… I was with Georgina but we saw his friends. Sumama lang po sila." I tried to cover it up.

"Impudent! I gave you a chance and you still have the audacity to lie to me?" nagalit ko ng sobra si dad. He's barely hanging.

"I'm so sorry dad. It's not wholly her fault. Georgina's boyfriend was there together with his friend. I only knew that they will come the moment we met. I didn't even give him my number after that. And… and we don't have any communication until now. That was the only time I spent with them - those two guys I mean. I never saw them again." mabilis kong sabi ng wala ng pag-aalinlangan pa. I will do everything as I ask for forgiveness.

"What else did you do?"

"Kumain din po sa labas." there, I've spilled everything. No more secrets. No more lies.

"It is a date then. What's the rush Lilliana? You're still young." seryosong sabi niya.

"I'm sorry dad. Hindi na po mauulit." medyo nahimasmasan na ako ng kaunti matapos makapagpaliwanag. Tila nabunutan ng tinik sa lalamunan.

"Stop saying you're sorry. And I don't need those empty words. Pangatawanan mo."

"Opo." I raised my head to look at him straight in the eye baring my sincerity.

"Get up. Your allowance for the next month will be halved. Hatid-sundo ka din ni Mang Delfin. He'll wait for you. If there are practices, tell me. You guys can use the house, maluwag naman at may space pa." for academic purposes only. I should've expected that I will be grounded. Good thing at hindi naman ako mahilig lumibot talaga.

"Yes dad." napagtanto kong bukod sa aming apat na magkakasama, si Joaquin lang ang may alam. That blabbermouth! I'm sure siya ang may kagagawan nito.

Isinisi ko sa kaniya ang lahat. Pati na ang galit ni dad. Hindi ko na inisip na ako rin ang may kasalanan sa mga nangyari.

I started distancing myself from him. Bukod sa hindi kami madalas nag-uusap noon pa man, madalas akong nasa kwarto kapag nasa bahay siya.

"What's the problem Lily?" tanong ni kuya sa akin isang gabi. We're watching the stars outside. Dad says mom is one of them. Ito ang lagi niyang sinasabi noong hinahanap ko ito noong ako ay bata pa.

"Po?" baling ko sa kaniya.

"You… and Joaquin." nagulat ako. Ganoon ba ako kahalata?

"Yeah. There's something wrong with you. Just you." sagot niyang tila nabasa ang nasa isip ko.

"Wala kuya. Guni-guni mo lang iyon no." pagtanggi ko. Napabuntong hininga siya.

"May nangyari ba?"

"What are you talking about? Parang kuya ko na siya no!" kuya laughed at me.

"Not that kind of thing Lil. I'm talking about you. You're escaping everytime he's in the house. Bagay na hindi mo ginagawa dati." I pouted.

I don't wanna see Joaquin. He told my dad our secret. I thought I can trust him.

"D-did… did he tell you that kuya?" he squinted his eyes at me.

"No. Nahalata ko lang. And if I have noticed it, ganoon din siya." well, that's good. Maganda na ang malinaw. Ayaw ko na sa kaniya.

Tumango na lang ako.

"Maybe, I'm uncomfortable." I tried to think of other excuses but this is the closest to the truth anyway.

Hindi ko alam na ang simpleng pagsabi ko noon ng mga katagang iyon ang magiging dahilan ng pagdalang ng pagpunta ni Joaquin sa bahay. Hindi na din siya sumasama pa sa amin tuwing madaling araw.

I felt sad. I know I should be satisfied dahil kami na lang uli ang nasa bahay. But somehow, I felt empty, parang may kulang, parang masyadong tahimik.

Ganoon pala iyon no? Kapag nasanay ka, nakakatakot. Paano kung bigla na lang maiba, bigla na lang may mawala? Kakayanin mo ba? Ang hirap pala.

We bumped into each other at school but none of us even say hi. Ni pagtango o pagngiti, wala. It's as if those times were just my memories, as if it didn't happen.

Umasta kaming parang hindi magkakilala. He's my kuya's friend, nothing more.

One time I saw Isabela clinging to him - his fellow senior. Halos idikit na nito ang katawan sa kaniya.

Who allowed her to cut her uniform that short? At bakit sobrang hapit sa katawan ang blusa niya? Hindi man lang ba siya nasita? That girl didn't even try to act a little bit demure. I bit my tongue to stop myself from complaining out loud.

The girl saw me looking. Mas lalo niya pang idinikit ang katawan na parang nang-iinis. I pursed my lips. Napasulyap na din si Joaquin sa direksyon ko.

I raised my eyebrows and rolled my eyes, leaving him with that girl. Magsama kayong dalawa.

My group of friends started to grow. Dati there's only Georgina and me. Now I have Mark and Barbara. Most of the time, we eat outside and shop. Nabisita na din namin ang kanya-kanyang bahay.

"What are you smiling about?" tanong ni Mark kay Georgina. Kanina pa kasi ito nakatulala sa labas. Wala namang dumadaang iba dahil nasa garden lang kami sa bahay.

"Well, I'm thinking about hands."

"Kaninong kamay?" Barbara was busy eating Ate Rosa's chocolate cake. Madalas spoiled ang mga kaibigan ko sa maid namin. Kung anu-anong meryenda ang inilalabas niya kapag nandito sila.

"Sir Alexis" halos masamid ako sa sinabi ng kaibigan.

"Stop spouting nonsense!" saway ko sa kaniya. Hindi na umayos ang kaibigan kong ito. Habang tumatagal, lalong lumalala. Maybe she needs a check up?

"Oh, come on girl! Those hands are to die to for." napangisi lang si Mark. Sanay na sa mga pinagsasabi ni Georgina.

"It's so masculine! Those veins na nakalitaw…" she groaned. Dalang-dala sa kagagahan niya.

"I feel you!" pagsang-ayon ni Barbara. I don't know kung nakatulong ba ang pagsama niya dito o mas nakapahamak pa.

Barbara is a domisticated cat while Georgina is a wild one. Ganoon pa man, pareho pa din silang may tama. Maybe that's why they clicked the first time they met.

Lumipat lang si Barbara and Mark sa school namin nung third year na.

"May girlfriend na kaya si sir?" inismiran ko sila. Pinagpapantasiyahan na naman kasi ang iba. Last time yung basketball captain ng kalaban naming school. Pag may nakitang iba, doon sila.

"Well, balita ko engaged na." sabi ni Mark.

"Talaga ba? Saan mo naman narinig yan?" tanong ni Georgina.

"Wala naman siyang suot na singsing a." depensa ni Barbara.

"Wag niyo siyang awayin. Ano ba." really, these two will be the death of me.

"I just know. From an anonymous source." he smirked.

"Sus. Nakikitsismis ka din pala. Ayaw mo pang aminin." biro ni Georgina.

"Nah. I just heard a faculty member noong nagsubmit ako ng project kay sir. They're congratulating him because of that."

"Too bad. He's exactly my type pa naman."

"And how many is your type ba Georgina?" usisa ko sa kaniya. Sinimangutan lang ako ng kaibigan ko.

"As many as I want." seryosong sagot niya.

"That's why we stopped memorizing your boyfriend's name. Naiiba kada nagkikita tayo." dagdag ni Barbara.

"That's not my fault. We just don't fit."

Nakailang fittings na ba siya?