The Severinos

"N-noo…" my room opened with a bang as Kuya Lazarus tried to wake me up.

"Lily, wake-y wake-y"

"5 m-more mi…nutes" I yawned.

"That will lead to 10… then 20…" napakunot ang noo ko sa sinabi niya. I can't blame him tho. Tama naman siya. Mamaya pa talaga sana ako babangon.

"Hm… iwan ka na lang namin?" I sat straight, trying to open my eyes, pretending to be awake.

"Dad's already waiting…" he really knows what to say.

Bigla akong naging alerto sa sinabi niya. I gather my thoughts and stand. Time to move Lily. No more excuses.

Pinaka nakakatakot ay ang paghintayin si dad. I never saw him get angry but he has this presence that will make you take him seriously. Nakakatakot lalo na ang mga tingin niya. He's like a hawk waiting for that tiny mistake that you will make once you lower your guard.

Ito na naman pala ang araw na yon. It's a Severino tradition to build relationships through meaningful activities and this is one of them - ang magbonding habang nag-eehersisyo.

Lagi kaming kumpletong mag-anak maliban na lang kung may sakit ang isa.

Dad do not indulge us to do things that are not beneficial to us. He equipped us like a soldier always ready for battle. Mabuti na ang handa ika nga.

Madilim pa sa labas dahil madaling-araw pa lang pero gising na silang lahat sa bahay. My brothers are busy stretching while dad sips his coffee.

I sat in front of him as I drink my milk. Nakatulala sa malayo as I chew the bread.

"Maglalakad po ba tayo?" wala sa sariling tanong ko.

"We'll use the suv. Next time, wake up earlier." dad hates it kapag nalelate kami. The Severinos should always be on time.

Minsan hindi ko alam kung galit ba si dad o hindi kaya tuwing hindi ako sigurado, mas nag-iingat ako.

"I'm sorry dad. Noted po." madalian kong inubos pati ang tinapay and ran outside to do some stretching.

"Morning…" bati ko sa kanilang apat. Tatlo lang naman ang kapatid ko pero nadagdag pa si Joaquin.

He always sleep here para makasama sa activity na ito. Babalik lang kinabukasan sa kanila. Madalang lang din namang nandoon sa bahay ang parents niya kaya malaya siyang makitulog sa amin every week.

Nagulat na lang ako nung unang beses na inuwi siya sa bahay namin. Dala-dala ang bag na may lamang mga damit. Akala ko noon pinalayas siya.

His dad is busy managing their business. Yung mom naman niya ay isang model. That's what I hear from my brothers tho.

Dad is picky pagdating sa mga kaibigan namin kaya naman hanga ako sa kaniya dahil nakapasa siya sa standards ng mga Severino.

Ilang talon pa ang ginawa nila bago ako pansinin.

"Lil… did you brush? Your teeth…" tukso nila.

Namula ako sa kahihiyan. Buti sana kung kami lang magkakapatid ang nandito! Sinilip ko si Joaquin. Nakita kong nakatitig siya sa akin.

"I did!"

"Really? Say ha."

Ibubuka ko pa lang ang bibig ko ng takpan na nila ang ilong nila. Aba pala!

"I really did! You meanie!"

Inunahan ko na sila sa sasakyan. Ang huling narinig ko ay ang tawa ng apat bago ko isara ang pintuan.

Dad encourages us to join them do their morning exercise. Well, by 'encourages' what I really mean is 'requires', not that I'm against it.

Keeping a healthy body is a must. Our family invests as much effort in ensuring our well-being as much as we gain knowledge by studying.

Kung hindi duty, busy sa opisina but he always make sure na nakaka-attend siya sa meeting sa school. Lagi din siyang nandoon tuwing recognition at iba pang importanteng okasyon sa buhay namin. Dad never missed any of it. He's a mom and dad in one package.

I can't stop feeling amazed as I line up with my dad's colleague. Imagine growing up surrounded by them. It does something to your system, something good.

It taught you how to be brave and to be responsible - to own your actions because there's no one that should be held accountable for it other than your own.

Nagsimula ng pumito ang instructor. We do kicks and some punches. Masigla ang lahat dahil may kasama pang chant. Some soldiers also bring their kids gaya ni dad.

Pinagmasdan ko ang kaibigan ng mga kapatid ko. Joaquin is busy imitating the instructor. Ni hindi alintana ang pagod sa kaniya. Ang daya. Ganoon ba talaga kapag malaki na?

Hindi pa din ako sanay kahit madalas siyang nakikita. He's like a mystery waiting to be explored. His dark brooding eyes always pull me. I envy those thick lashes surrounding it.

Ramdam ko na ang pawis sa katawan. This is the time when I feel the most energetic. I feel as if I'm reborn. All the dirt and impurities are being flushed out.

I can't wait to grow, less restrictions but more responsibilities.

"Okay… one more time." another twist and it's time to run.

Ilang ikot pa ang ginawa namin sa grandstand bago matapos ang pag-eehersisyo.

There's free coffee and pandesal tuwing pagkatapos ng program na ito. Kaniya-kaniyang kuha ang bawat isa.

Kita mo ang ngiti ng mga sundalo habang nagpapahinga at nakikihalubilo sa isa't isa. Naroon rin ang ibang opisyal na sumasama sa mga mas mababang ranggo sa kanila.

I want to live my life with no regrets and what ifs.

"Dad…"

"Yes Lilliana?" Lilliana, not Lil nor Lily. Dad said mom likes this name kaya ito ang laging gamit niya.

"I want to be like you." sinserong sabi ko. Naririnig ko ang lakas ng tibok ng aking puso. This is it.

Tiningnan niya ako ng diretso. I can see the twinkle in his eyes. I love him. I love my dad.

"Me?"

"I will be a soldier." he pats my head and smile. Kita mo ang pagmamahal sa kaniyang mga mata.

I wonder how big my dad heart is. Bakit kasya kaming apat doon? Isama mo pa ang bayang pinoprotektahan nila.

"Why? Just because of the uniform?" natawa sila kuya.

Inismiran ko sila at nag-isip ng mabuti. Dad's waiting for my answer. Seryosong tinitimbang ang kung ano mang sasabihin ko.

"Well… I can't say I don't like it. But... look at them!" sabay turo ko sa mga sundalong nasa paligid. "and you… you all look so satisfied. You love what you're doing and you're doing the right thing. You serve others as you dedicate your time, your self and you do it whole-heartedly" mahabang paliwanag ko.

Hindi pa ba sapat iyon para kay dad? I held my breath, hoping and praying that all will be well.

Ihinilig ko ang ulo ko habang hinihintay siya. If only I was not so nervous at that time, I will be able to see the smile that dad tries so hard to hide.

"Yes Lilliana. We are happy… and satisfied. What else?"

Ano pa ba?

"You protect us." agap ko.

"When I grow up, I also want to protect you and everyone I love." I crossed my fingers hoping my answer is enough, enough to move my dad.

I am really proud of him. How can I make him understand that he's the very reason why I also want to be a soldier? Now I know that words seem lacking. I love my dad. I do.

"Including your kuya, diko and sangko?" tukso sa akin ni dad.

He knows na para kaming aso at pusa. Walang tahimik na oras pag magkakasama kami. They're the ones who should protect me. I'm their baby.

"You'll protect them. Won't you?" paninigurado nya.

I pouted. Tumango ako kay dad.

"O…kay." kuya smirked at me. Tahimik naman yung tatlo. They were amused at what I'm saying.

"You really want it? It's not just a spur of the moment?" tumayo ako ng tuwid.

"Yes sir." seryosong sabi ko. I raised my hand to signify my stand.

"Then… I can't wait to see you do it." the Severinos keep their promises, they never go back on their words.

"Thanks dad." I hugged him. Masayang nakuha ang gusto ko. This warmth, I never want to leave it.

I squinted my eyes at my brothers, feeling satisfied that my dad gave me the go signal.

Akala ko hindi niya ako papayagang magsundalo dahil babae ako.

Isa pa, it's a given that my brothers will take after my dad. Nakataga na sa bato ang tatahakin nila, not that they do not like it. They do love it, actually. Kaya wala ng dahilan para sumunod pa ako.

Mabilisang pagligo ang ginawa namin pagdating sa bahay. Sanay na din ako sa madaliang paggayak. Dad taught us to just do the necessaries.

Remove those things that you do not need to do because the Severinos value their time.

Even tho dad is so busy, hinahatid niya pa din kami. Sa labas lang kasi ng kampo ang eskwelahan namin. Parehong school lang kasama sila kuya.

We just had to make sure na maaga kami para makasabay si dad.

Napatingin ako sa isang partikular na direksyon - kay Joaquin. I don't know why but everytime he's in the crowd, parang laging naka-auto focus ang sistema ko. Kusang nahahanap siya.

He looks so masculine. Lalo pang nakadagdag ang mapupungay na mata at mapupulang labi. Those sensual lips looks so firm yet soft. Napalunok ako. Nagulat sa kung anumang iniisip.

His presence exudes authority. Minsan mas natatakot pa ako sa kaniya kaysa kay dad.

I went to the shotgun seat. That's my place. This is where I belong in this family.