15

"What do you think?" Emily asks and at this point I am highly distracted. I'm not about to look at all the pretty flowers. Instead I start picturing what I want to be doing.

"Okay Ash! Control your thoughts there buddy. I get the point. At least let us get in the house first, yea?" She laughs as she pulls me through the front door. After it is locked I'm dragged upstairs and into another room. The house is nice from what I can see from my peripheral vision as I focus on my mate.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" She asks like she hasn't been on my mind all day.

"I'm all yours, Meme. I promised you that and I keep my promises. I love you, Mate." I tell her as I pull her in for a kiss.

"Good." She whispers in my ear before pushing me onto the bed. Sometimes I forget that my mate is not only an Alpha female but a royal. The girl is strong.

"Mate!" My wolf growls at her show of dominance. He is so riled up the word slips from my lips as well. I'm sure my eyes are a mix of both of us.

"Mate." Emily agrees her eyes swirling with her wolf's. In an instant she is on top of me and I can't control myself any longer.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

"They are like us!" Little Derek smiles at me. "This is my brother Sam. He's 6... he just had his first shift!"

"Can you boys count to three with me?" I ask. They look confused but nod.

"Don't do it!" I yell in my mind but I have no control of my body. "Leave the pups alone!" I try again but we begin counting.

"One... two... three." As we finish I slit their throats with my claws.

"Noooo!" I scream as I watch the little bodies fall. They hit the floor with wide open glassy eyes.

"Let's go home." I say leaving the room. In that moment I am no longer in my body as I watch myself leave the room.

"You did this!" I hear a little voice cry. I turn around to see Derek with blood still dripping from his neck wound.

"You killed my little brother!" He adds holding the smaller pup close to him.

"I'm sorry! I didn't know!" I yell as the other pups lifeless bodies stand up and circle me.

"Didn't know?" A womans voice joins the children. "Odin told you! He died before you came back to kill my pack! You took him from me! You delivered him up to be killed! You killed him! You killed my mate!"

"I'm sorry!" I yell fighting off the ghosts.

"My baby!"

"My mate!"

"My little girl!"

"My parents!"

"My brother!"

"My baby sister!"

More and more voices are added as ghosts fill the room beyond its capacity.

"No! No! No!" I begin to scream as I fight the ghosts. "I didn't know!... I'm sorry!... I didn't know!... No! No!"

"Asher!" Someone yells as I feel a hand on my arm.

"No!" I push away the ghost.

"Ash please!" The new voice begs.

"No! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I didn't know!" I yell fighting the hands that are holding me down.

"Asher! It's me Emily. Wake up for me, please!" She continues to beg.

Emily?

"Hu? E... Emily. Wha... what?" I stammer as I regain consciousness.

"It was just a dream, Ash. It's over now. You're okay." She coos trying to calm me.

"No I'm not! I told you I'm not! I'll never be okay!" I sob into my hands refusing to look at my perfect mate that I pulled into my craziness.

"Look at me, Asher." She demands. I slowly turn my head to face my mate. As I look at her I see bruises over her eye and around her neck.

"No!" I gasp running my fingers over the discolored skin. "Did I? I did! I hurt you! Oh my... why do you want a man that hurts you! I can't believe I did this."

"You were having a nightmare. It wasn't your fault!" She tells me.

"Stop making excuses for me, Emily! I'm no good! Why can't you see that! You want to know what I dreamed?! I dreamed about killing innocent pups! I can't even count how many I've killed! And you say I'll be okay and it's not my fault! It is my fault, Emily!" I yell.

"Then change." She says flatly. I stop my ranting to look at her.

"What?" I ask stunned by her change of tone.

"You say you're not a good man? Then change. You say it's your fault? Fix it. You blame yourself. I get it. Go out there and be a part of the solution. Train our people. Be a leader. Be the man you want to be not the man the hunters made you. You want to blame yourself? Fine! But make some good of it don't sit here whining about the past. You can't change it." She rants before standing up, wrapping herself in a robe, and heading to the door. "Get a shower I'm making breakfast."

I stare at the door a few minutes after she leaves.

"She's right." My wolf tells me.

"I know." I respond as I head to the bathroom. "I just don't know if I can be the man she wants me to be."

"You already are." I hear her voice through the mind link.